Peace in My View (3 page)

Chapter 5

Ariana

I
sleep better than I ever have, all my dreams of Gentry. He is kissing me, holding me to him with one hand on the small of my back, and the other tangled in the hair just above my neck. Out of no where, a beeping interrupts my peaceful slumber. I reach across to my nightstand for my phone. Checking the caller ID, I see it’s Liv. Ugh!

“Olivia Anne Sloan! You better have a good reason for waking me up at the butt-crack-of-dawn.”

“Good morning, Sunshine. Aren’t we a grouchy Spongebob watcher this morning?” she jokingly jabs, but I’m not laughing. She just woke me up from making out with her cousin that she is so adamantly trying to hook me up with. I could… could just kill her sometimes.

“I’m gonna show you grouchy if you don’t get to the point.” Ugh, again.

“I will just call you back after you’ve had your coffee. How about that?” she asks.

“Seriously? A cup of coffee isn’t gonna help you. Spill it.”

“Okay. Okay. I just wanted to see how it went last night. You know how impatient I can be. You didn’t call me last night so…”.

“So you thought I what? Turned in early and would be up at eight A.M. on my day off?” I ask.

“Well, no, but I need details. Give’em.... Please don’t make me beg, Ari.” She’s full on whining now.

“Why are we friends again?” I ask. “ If Gentry wasn’t so great in bed.... I would totally never see him again so’s not to have to deal with your overdramatic butt.”

“Oh hush! You love.... Wait! What did you just say?”

Revenge is sweet. “ Why are we friends?” I play dumb

“Uh, no. After that, Skank.”

“That I would never see him again?” “Take that Liv,” I think to myself.

“Very funny. No, the part where you said he was great in bed. Is he still there?” she whispers. I got her right where I want her.

“Actually, he’s downtown as we speak if you know what I mean,” I say. She is too easy.

“Whhaaat? While you’re on the phone with me?” she whisper-shouts.

I start moaning loudly, “Oh my god, Gentry that feels so good.”

I bust out laughing. “Seriously, Liv. I told you, you woke me up.”

“You are so wrong. Gross and oh-so-wrong. I was like, he is my cousin for Christ’s sake.” She blows out a deep breath before continuing. “ So... did you really give up the nookie that fast?” she questions.

“Of course not. Not that I wouldn’t have, for him.” I sigh. “Gosh, Liv. He is like a ferocious beast, and I wanted him to eat me up,” I say dreamily, “but nope, my hoo-hoo still has all her webs.”

“Thank God. Now tell me everything.” Olivia, while wild and crazy, is not one to sleep around and definitely not on the first date. Her cousin or not, she would kill me. We have standards, she says. We don’t give it up until at least the third date, she says.

“We went to Rico’s an ate…”.

“Rico’s, really? That’s where he took you? We are gonna have a serious talk, me and that boy.”

“Are you gonna left me finish, Mother?” I ask before I go on. “We went to Rico’s for some tacos so we could get out to his favorite spot before sunset. He was starving from working all day,” I explain. “Gosh Liv, the ranch has amazing views.”

“Did you have your camera?” she asked, interrupting again.

“Nope, your clever cousin said he wanted to make sure he got another date.”

“Oh, he’s good. He has you figured out already. You know it runs in the family.” What the hell.

“What’s that, exactly?”

“Brains, Duh!” she is so pretty.

“Anyway... we stayed out there a while after sunset, talking and getting to know each other, which by the way I have tons of questions for you, Ma’am? We will get to those later. He brought me home, walked me to the door, and gave me a heart-stopping, mind-altering, breathtaking, earth-shattering kiss. I dreamt about it all night long until you so rudely interrupted it.”

“Ohmeegosh. You’re in love with him,” she declares, screaming and probably jumping up and down.

“Really, Liv? I’m not in love with him. It was one date. One kiss.” I’m so not that girl. I don’t believe in love at first sight and all that jazz.

“Well, then, it’s only a matter of time,” She states matter-of-factly.

“Whatever, you say. Listen, I’m gonna get off here and shower.”

“K,Ciao,” she says making a kiss sound before hanging up.

I roll off my bed and head for the kitchen to make some coffee. While the coffee is brewing, I make myself a bowl of cereal. It’s what I do every morning. I can’t function without Folger's in my cup and Fruity Pebbles in my bowl.

Heading for the shower, my phone alerts me I have a text.

Gentry:
Mornin, Sunshine.

It’s Gentry. Gosh, he is so much like Liv.

Me:
Mornin.

I reply. I see the three dots signaling him texting back. So I wait, turning on the shower as I do.

Gentry:
Can’t get U off my MIND!! Wht r u doin?

I really shouldn’t, but I can’t resist.

Me: I was just getting N the shwr. Wbu?

Gentry: Omg ur killin me. :/

Me: Lol. Sorry.

Gentry: It’s cool. I won’t hold it against U. I’m just wrkin, thinkn bout U.

Me: Oh yeah, dnt work or think too hard.

Gentry: Yeah ;)

My bathroom is steamed up good from the shower going, so I set my phone down and undress.

After my shower, I head to my room to find something to wear. Liv and I usually have lunch on Saturdays if I don’t have work. Although we try to see each other everyday, I need to run a few errands beforehand, so I need to get ready.

I stand in my closet forever deciding what to put on, my mind on Gentry. I can just imagine him all dirty and sweaty from working all morning. I picture him pulling off his shirt and wiping the sweat from his face. I can see him getting a drink from the water hose, running his hand under it and then through his hair. I think about what his chest and stomach must look like glistening in the sun from all the sweat. I can almost feel his tight slick muscles under my hands, as I imagine running them up from his rippled abs up over his solid pecks and back over his strong broad shoulders, and finally wrapping them around his thick muscular neck. My mouth is watering just thinking about him.

I fan myself as I grab a t-shirt off the hanger. “Get it together, Woman,” I tell myself. When I’m finished getting ready, I check in the full length mirror. “Lookin' good, Ari. Lookin' good,” I say to my reflection.

I’m wearing my favorite cut-off jean shorts, a soft oversized shirt that hangs from my shoulder, and Steve Madden thong sandals. Loose curls and light makeup accent the look. I check the time on my phone and head out.

I stop by the post office and drop off packages for clients, make my way to the lab to make a print order, and then text Liv.

“Whts on today’s menu?”
I don’t ever have to wait long for her response. She is always glued to her phone.

Liv:
Tex-Mex?
is her reply.

Me: Uh, I had Tex-Mex last night.

Liv: Oh yeah, lol…

Me: Italian?

Liv: I cld go 4 some Fettuccine Alfredo.

Me: K, meet u at Joey’s N 30?

I arrive a few minutes after Liv, so when I get inside, she has already scored us a table and is waving me over.

“Good afternoon, Love,” she greets.

“Same to you,” I greet her in return. I take the seat across from her, and she wastes no time jumping right into the Gentry subject.

“So, have you talked to Gentry today?”

“Sheesh, Liv! Is that all we are gonna talk about anymore?” She is like a dog on a bone.

“Well, no. I’m just so excited.”

“I know, sorry. I didn’t get much sleep,” I say narrowing my eyes at her.

“I’m sorry,” she pouts.

“Good, now let’s enjoy our lunch like always.” The waitress stops by, and we place our drink and food order at the same time. We eat here a lot so we already know what we are having. She also leaves us some garlic bread while we wait. It’s my favorite bread ever.

“I do, however, have questions, specific questions about Gentry.” I hope she will enlighten me a bit.

“Listen, it’s not really my story to tell. I wouldn’t for anyone else, but I will tell
you
as much as I can.”

“Awesome. Why did he go so far away for college? And why hasn’t he been back?”

“Um, OK, straight to it then. You know my dad’s brother passed away, right?” I just nod, and she continues, “ Well, his brother is Gentry’s dad. He was in a bad accident while he was out of town buying some cattle.”

“Oh, wow, that’s awful.”

She huffs, but keeps going, “Gentry, withdrew from everyone, and as soon as he graduated, he took off.” My heart hurts for him. I couldn’t imagine going through such a loss especially as a senior. “He had been offered a scholarship to play baseball in Florida. He wasn’t gonna take it. Before the accident, he was opting to go school in Austin majoring in Agriculture to work alongside Uncle Neal on the ranch, but once that happened, he accepted the Florida offer without a word to any of us.” I feel bad asking her and not waiting for him to tell me now.

“Not even his mom?”

“Nope, not until a couple of days before hand.”

“That’s terrible. She must have been crushed.” I mean, she lost her husband, too.

“She was, but she said she understood, that it was a great opportunity for him. She thought he would come visit. He never did. My Uncle Neal and Gentry were very close. As a matter of fact, Gentry would’ve been with him that night had he not been chasing after Bea.”

“Wait, what? The waitress?” I say this just as our waitress is delivering the food. “Not you, sorry,” I tell her. She just smiles and leaves us to it.

Liv takes a bite and nods her head. “One in the same. He stopped talking to her afterwards. He never said why, but I assume he felt guilty for not being with him but with her instead.” Liv pauses to take another bite.

“So, he dated the waitress from Andy’s ?”

“I’m not sure you would call it dating…”, she says with raised eyebrows. She then decides to make lewd gestures with her hands.

“Yeah, Olivia. I got it.” She is something else. We eat the rest of our food without much talking, but it’s not long before she is speaking again.

“Listen, Ari, don’t let any of that affect the way you feel for him, you know, in a negative way or anything. He was just a kid then,” she reasons.

“Liv, I would never. You know me better than that.”

“I know. Enough with all that drab stuff. Let’s go do some shopping!” she exclaims.

“Sounds amazing. Wanna ride together?”

“Duh.” We set our money on the table and left with full bellies.

Chapter 6

Gentry

I
brush the sweat off my brow with the back of my forearm and grab a drink. I have been working on this damn barn all day; it’s hot. The roof is falling in on one side making it leak when it rains, something the strong winds of Texas assisted in. That just won’t work once all the hay is stored in there. I hoist myself up on the tailgate and pull out my lunch. I didn’t expect Momma to have let it all go so much.

Momma had a doctor’s appointment this morning and still wasn’t back. I guess she had some errands to run. I pack everything up and head back towards the house. After checking on the new hands to see what they have accomplished today, I check my list of what still needs to be done. There is so much to be done around here; I’m not sure why she hasn’t hired anyone before.

It’s late afternoon before Momma gets home. She looks exhausted.

“Momma, where have you been? You shouldn’t have been out so long if you weren’t feeling well.”

“Don’t fuss over me, boy. I’m fine, just a little tired, ” she scolds.

“Ok, you go rest, and after my shower, I will start dinner.”

“Thanks Son. I just need a cat nap, and I will be good to go.”

I take my time in the cool shower. Summers in Texas are brutal, and working in the heat is draining. Momma really should sell this place and get something smaller. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t wanna run this old ranch forever. I finish washing all the sweat and dirt off of me and turn the water off. I use a towel to dry myself and get dressed.

Hamburger Helper will have to work for dinner because I’m beat. I get all the ingredients sorted, get a couple of pans out, and get the meat going. I drop two ears of corn in some boiling water for our side. Nice and easy is my kind of dinner, especially when I’m the one making it. While that’s cooking, I set the table and make a glass of sweet tea. It takes about a half an hour to get it all ready. Before making our plates, I go to wake the queen. Peeking my head in her door, I whisper, “Momma, dinner is ready, wake up-”. Nothing. She may not have heard me over the sound of her fan. Opening the door wider, I whisper a bit louder, “Momma, time to eat.” Still nothing. I cross the room and stop beside the bed. Leaning in, I give her a little shake, and finally, she stirs. “It’s time to eat,” I tell her. Leaving her to get up, I make my way back to the kitchen. I put the food on the table and grab a glass of tea for her, too. Just as I finish filling her plate, she enters the kitchen.

“ Thank you for making dinner Gentry. I know you're tired as well.”

“No problem. Can I get you anything else?”

“Nope,this is perfect.”

“So…, what did the doctor have to say?” I asked.

“ Well, I haven’t been completely honest with you because…”.

“What is it, Momma?”

“ I was wanting to make sure what exactly was the prognosis before telling you— I have cancer, Son,” she says lowering her head.

I’m taken aback. How could she keep this from me?

“Are you serious? Why would you not tell me? I could’ve gone with you today.”

“I told you. I wanted to make sure. No sense in having you worry until I knew for sure.”

“Are you freakin' kidding me? That’s not news you should be alone for,” I say, voice raised.

“Gentry, calm down.”

Slamming my hand down on the table, I state, “You should have told me. I’m all you’ve got, and you didn’t even tell me.”

“Gentry, when your dad passed, you left as soon as you could and have rarely been back.”

I stand up, grab my plate, and leave without a word to her. Running, just like she expected. I’m not leaving, though. I just need a minute. Once I’m in my room, I sit everything down and text Ariana.

“U busy?”
While I’m waiting for her response, I pace my room back in fourth. I want to freaking scream!!! All these years I’ve stay away from this place because of the bad memories. Now when I come back after all this time, all this damn time, now my mom is sick; This can’t be happening.

Ariana:
No, just got back from shping with L

Me: Can I stop by?

Hoping she says yes, I slip on some socks and pull on my boots. My food long forgotten, I grab my keys off the dresser and walk out of the room, out of the house, off the porch, and straight to my truck, still without talking to my mom. I know I’m a coward and a sad excuse for a son, but I keep going without looking back.

Ariana texts back just before I turn down her road.

Ariana: Of Course.

I don’t bother texting back, just press my foot to the floor and get there as fast as possible.

She must hear my truck because she opens her front door as soon as I pull in her drive. I put the truck in park, shut it off, and hop out. I close the door behind me, pressing the lock button on my key fob—out of habit—as I make my way to her. She has just reached the bottom step as I approach. Man, she looks amazing. Just being near her is calming me down.

“That, was—fast!” she says.

She has a look of concern on her face. I hate that. She probably thinks I’m freaking crazy.

“Yeah, I left the ranch as soon as you said you weren’t busy. I got some bad news tonight. I don’t have any friends in this town, and I’m not about to lean on Liv,” I explain.

She frowns. “What’s happened?” she asks.

The concern in her voice makes me blurt it out. “My mom has cancer.” I can’t help it. I just need to vent. Her hand flies to cover her mouth, and she slowly sits down on the steps behind her. I sit down beside her. “I don’t know any details. I didn’t stick around to get them. I’m horrible. I’m all she has, and I couldn’t even stay to get all the facts,” I say shaking my head. She places a hand on my shoulder and turns towards me.

“Oh, Gentry. I’m so sorry.”

I don't even know how to respond, so I just stare off into space.

“Hey, look at me,” I turn my attention back to her.

“You're scared. Your mom knows that. She understands. Besides, lots of cancers are treatable. You don't even know what kind it is, and you have already decided the worst. Just breath,” She says while rubbing her hand up and down my right shoulder.

“You asked before—why I went to college so far away, and why I hadn't been back. Well, when I was seventeen, my dad was in an accident on the way home from a cattle sell. I was supposed to be with him. As soon as I was out of high school, I ran as far as I could. I wasn’t there for her then. That’s why she didn’t trust me with this until today. Then, what do I do? I take off.” It sounds even worse when I say it out loud.

“Gentry, losing a parent is something I can’t even imagine going through as an adult. You were just a kid. Your mom gets that. Now it may be a little harder for her since you stayed away, but you came back for the summer because she needed you, right?” Ariana knows just what to say to make me feel better, but I don’t deserve it.

“Here’s the thing. I wasn’t with my dad because I was chasing after some girl. Mom said that if I had been there, she would’ve just lost both of us. I just couldn’t shake the guilt, thinking of all the what if’s. The daily reminders and memories were too much.” Like they weren’t hard for my mom. “I came back a few times to visit. I couldn’t deal for long, though. She would come to see me, or we would go somewhere together. It was just very hard being at the ranch. At twenty-five, it’s still hard somedays. My dad and I were very close,” I say while rubbing the back of my neck. It has been forever since I talked to anyone about this. It was too heavy of a discussion for two people who just met to be having, but I couldn’t stop. She just allowed me to get it all off my chest without judgement.

“Now, after all this time,when I finally come back, this happens. I’ve wasted so much time with my mom,” I say. Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands.

“Well… there is only one thing to do then.”

I look at her sideways, head still in my hands. “Oh, what’s that?”

“Make up for lost time. Pull yourself together, and be the bravest son ever. Make every minute from here on out, no matter what, count.”

“ I may need some help with that occasionally,” I say.

“You got it,” she says, giving me a thumbs up.

“Thank you,” I tell her.

“Anytime,” she states.

“I'd better head home, I guess.” We both stand and I pull her into a tight hug, holding on to her for just a minute. She fits just right in my arms.

“I really appreciate you letting me stop by and talking to me. I know we barely know each other, but you didn't hesitate. It means a lot. I would also appreciate it if you don't say anything to Olivia, just yet,” I say finally releasing her and looking into those emerald eyes.

“My lips are sealed,” she says doing the zip and lock thing like a little kid. I can't help but smile. “Just let me know more when you find out the details.”

We say our goodbyes, and I head back to the ranch of doom and gloom, telling myself the whole way that I can do this.

When I get home, Momma has already cleaned up the kitchen and gone to bed. I feel awful, but I won’t wake her tonight. She needs her rest. So I decide to go to bed, too; we’ll talk tomorrow.

The next morning, I’m up extra early so I can make breakfast and hopefully apologize to Momma before heading out for the day. Stumbling down the stairs, I make my way to the kitchen. I start with the coffee. It’s a must. Then I open the fridge to grab some fresh eggs. The freezer is next for some sausage. The best thing about living on this ranch is the home grown ingredients: eggs from our chickens, sausage from our pigs, homemade bread and every flavor of jam you can imagine. Plum is my favorite, though. Cattle is the main function of Sloan Ranch, but Dad always allowed Mom to have her farm lifestyle as well. I feel so refreshed this morning after talking to Ariana. She gave me hope. Maybe I was overreacting last night. Of course, cancer isn’t ever easy, but as long as it’s treatable, I can be who Momma needs me to be. With breakfast going, I shoot Ariana a quick text.

Me: Thanks again 4 last nite

It’s super early, so I don’t expect a response. I finish up the sausage and eggs before popping some toast in. While I set the table, Momma walks in.

“Gentry, what are you doing up so early making breakfast? That’s my job.” She moves to the coffee pot to pour her a glass.

“Well, I wanted to say sorry for being such a jerk last night. So please accept my apology,” I say, making my way to her and pulling her into my arms, squeezing tightly.

Letting go, she tells me,

“You’re forgiven, Let’s eat and you can tell me how your date went the other night.” We take our seats and make our plates.

“Well, my date was simple, but great. I really enjoy Ariana’s company.”

“Ariana, that’s a beautiful name. When can I meet her?”

“We have only been out once, so I’m not sure. Let’s talk about what you told me last night.”

“In a minute, ok? How is everything coming along with the repairs and the new workers?” I know what she is doing, but I catch her up anyway.

“Cal is handling the new hands for the most part. They should have the hay fields ready for bailing by the end of the week, and I finished all the fence repairs. Now I am working on the barn. I need to check the cattle today, so I will be away for most of the day. My friend Peck, do you remember him? He is gonna come down in August to help us for a bit.” I feel my phone vibrate, so I pull it from my pocket. It’s a text from Ariana.

Ariana: N E time.

I didn’t figure I’d get a reply for a few more hours; it’s only 6:30.

Me:
What r u doin up so early?

I see the 3 dots signaling her reply, so I wait.

Ariana:
Chasing the sunrise.

Is what I get, and it makes me laugh. Momma gives me a strange look but doesn’t say anything.

Me: Oh yeah, are you trespassing while chasing this sunset?

Ariana: Definitely.

This response makes me laugh even harder and Momma can’t ignore it.

“What’s so funny?” I tell her about the text, why it’s funny, and she nods in understanding. We finish our meal, cancer talk long forgotten. I give her a kiss on the cheek and head to work while she cleans up.