Payne (The Soldiers of Wrath MC: Grit Chapter Book 3) (11 page)

“
Y
ou know
, it wouldn’t do her any harm if you went over there and talked to her,” Joker said.

Nerd sipped at his beer and glanced at his friend, who had come to stand beside him. Once again, he returned his attention toward the beautiful woman who was wearing a shit-load of clothes even though the sun was beaming down on them. He’d even removed his shirt and jacket and if he could have, he’d have gotten rid of his pants as well. It was fucking hot, and he was roasting. Hannah, however, wore a pair of jeans, a vest shirt, and over that a cardigan. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a long ponytail, and she was talking with Amy. The clubwomen had befriended her and made her part of the family ever since they all saved her from that fucking cult that was torturing her.

“I can’t just go and talk to her.”

“Why not?”

“She’s … better without me. With all the shit she went through and the type of man I am…” He shook his head. “Yeah, she’s better without me.” When Hannah first arrived at the clubhouse, she’d been withdrawn and completely terrified, but it was to be expected, given what had happened to her. He’d witnessed her jump and flinch at the littlest of things. They’d had a female doctor look her over and assess the damage. The bastards had cut her back up so bad that she’d be scarred for the rest of her life. He fucking hated that and wished he’d given the bastard that had hurt her a more painful death.

I wish I could make that fucking cult pay all over again, ten times over.

The doctor had also given her a pill in case of pregnancy, which fucking killed him inside because that told him she’d been raped. She had been hurt in the most violent of ways, called all kinds of shit, yet she was still standing. It told of her strength.

When they’d first brought her to the club after going after Elena’s fucked-up cult family, Hannah would wake the whole clubhouse with her screams of terror. Those sounds would stay with him forever. Elena had it hard with that cult, running from them so she could have a life.

“Amy had a hard life too. I thought it would be best to give her space, but I was a fucking idiot. Time and love heals all kinds of wounds, Nerd.”

“You’ve heard her talking to the women. You’ve had to witness Amy, the other old ladies, console her. Do you really think she’s ready? She’s too young to have to cope with any of this, let alone a motherfucker like me that wants her bad.”

She was eighteen years old, so fucking young, and had gotten her GED with help from the old ladies. It had helped keep her mind off shit, at least that’s what he heard. Hannah had told them she didn’t have anywhere to go, and so they’d welcomed her into their fold.

Fuck.

His life had gone from fucking every single random club whore, to watching one woman, to becoming possessive and territorial of her. To becoming obsessed with her. Hannah needed to be looked after, and he was the man that would ensure she was safe, no matter what.

She was a sweet girl, too sweet for the likes of him.

There was so much about her that he found charming, so much he wanted to know about her, no matter how small.

Her favorite ice cream was strawberry, and she loved it with hot fudge. She hated coffee, and Saturday cartoons made her chuckle.

Men made her nervous.

The clubwomen and old ladies protected her.

For the past few months, Nerd had watched her, and he’d made sure that she had everything that her heart desired. He just couldn’t stand the thought of her going without.

“It’s hard for her.”

“I’m not saying that what Amy went through wasn’t rough; it’s just, I’m not like you, Joker. You’ve got a connection to Amy. All I ever did was save Hannah.”

Joker gripped his shoulder. “That will mean more to her than anything you’ll ever know.”

Nerd wished he could believe him, he really did. Nodding, he took a sip of his soda and watched the woman that had consumed his every waking moment. They were all gathered outside for a barbeque. With the summer heat it was impossible to stay inside. He didn’t know what was going on, but it was just too damn hot, a heat wave the news called it.

He was tired of feeling hot all the time.

Glancing around the yard, he couldn’t help but be relaxed. The club was his home, and his brothers, his family. They had his back in every single situation, and he loved them all. Nerd would die for each of them, just as he knew they would die for him.

Hannah left the small group of women and headed inside the clubhouse. Finishing off his beer, he made his way into the clubhouse. He didn’t just watch her from afar; he did talk to her every now and then. But what she didn’t know is that he all but stalked her, made sure he knew her every move, because he told himself he did it to make sure she was safe.

Entering the kitchen, he found the large fridge open and Hannah bent inside. When the door slammed closed behind him, she jerked up, turned around, her eyes wide, and a gasp left her. He’d scared her.

Fuck.

Holding his hands up in surrender, he tried to do everything to appear less threatening to her.

“It’s just me.”

“You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

She smiled, and he saw that it was forced.

Just once he’d love to see a smile that wasn’t fucking reserved or filled with questions. It was like she was afraid to be herself.

That fucking cult had damaged her.

Nerd hated the thought of never really knowing the beautiful woman she was before being taken.

She tucked some hair behind her ear. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

“No one will hurt you here. You’re safe.”

“I know.” She stared at her hands and then back up at him, taking a deep breath as she did. “I’m trying to fight it.”

“Fight what?”

“The fear. There are times I’m scared that he’s going to come back. I don’t like being alone, and yet, all I want to be is alone. If I’m by myself, I can focus, and I don’t have to see pity in everyone’s eyes.”

“I don’t pity you, Hannah. I’m angry for you. I’m angry for what you’ve lost, and what has been taken from you.” He lowered his hands. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know they’ve got your best interests at heart. If you want to be alone, you can be alone, no questions asked.”

She smiled.

Once again, it didn’t reach her eyes, and it was a simple movement of her lips, but he’d take it. “You’re a good man, Nerd,” she said. “It sounds weird calling you that kind of name. I was always a ‘nerd,’ so calling anyone that seems rude.”

He laughed, hoping that she’d see how easy it would be to let go around him. Nerd didn’t need anything else from her, other than her to be relaxed. If he had to, he’d fight every single fucker who came near her to make sure she knew that kind of peace.

His life belonged to her now.