âButch, Sandy, where are you?'
Elizabeth tried to tear her eyes away from those of the animals, tried to call out to the man from the living world, but it was useless. Black Jack, who had been momentarily startled by the man's voice, turned back to his game. He looked up at Elizabeth, winked, and broke the dog's neck.
The sighing had turned to a scream.
âNo!' Timmy ran towards Black Jack, as the sound of snapping bones still hung in the air. Black Jack knocked him aside as easily as he had the moth.
The children cried and covered their ears against the screams around them. The other dog lay frozen, awaiting its fate. Its whimpering sounded childlike. Elizabeth noticed that the hair beneath the eye nearest to her was matted and wet. The dog was crying. Black Jack turned to finish his dire task. Timmy jumped on his back, beating him with his fist, but Black Jack easily shook him off. It lasted for an instant, but it gave Elizabeth time to act.
âLet's save the dog,' she called, running forward and throwing herself at Black Jack, who was knocked on his back by the suddenness of her action. At once the children were all over him, biting, scratching, and pulling his hair.
âGet the dog away,' Elizabeth called to Timmy.
Dragging the terrified animal over to the bushes Timmy pushed him through.
Once outside the graveyard, the animal took flight and ran back to its owner, who would spend the rest of the night comforting it and calling for its mate. The screaming of the wind ceased.
When they realised the dog was safe, the children drew back from Black Jack, who was covered in teeth and nail marks. He sat rubbing his wounds and swearing. âI'll get the other dog, mark my words.'
âDo that,' Timmy warned him, âand we'll get you.'
Black Jack watched as they sank down into the grass. The children lay clustered around Elizabeth. The smaller ones sniffled and sobbed over the dog's death, while the older ones tried to cheer them.
âDid you see Black Jack's face when I bit him on the ankle?' asked one. âI think I pulled his nose off,' offered another. But secretly they were all afraid, and glad when the dark veil of earth covered them.
âI'll stay behind and bury him,' Timmy whispered to Elizabeth. âIt's best that the dog be gone when the children awake.'
âYou're a good boy, Timmy Walsh. I hope you know that.'
âAnd you're a good woman, Lady Elizabeth Fitzwilliam,' he replied with a grin. She smiled at his cheekiness and closed her eyes, wondering if there was anything worse than the fear of the unknown?
May 1845
Lying fearfully in her bed in Maycroft, Elizabeth was pondering the same thought. Each day now held new terrors for her. During the week someone had tried several times to open her bedroom door. She had taken to locking it and the nursery door, since Charles had dismissed the nanny as a needless expense.
At night she watched the door handle from her bed as it slowly, soundlessly, turned and held for a moment, until the unseen hand allowed it to fall back into place. Sometimes she crept to the door and listened to the heavy, unsteady breathing.
In daylight Charles had gone no further than to leer at her and make crude suggestions, but she knew it was only a matter of time until things got out of hand. That morning she had found him in the nursery talking to Lucy, admiring her waist-length hair, while the child stood blushing. She looked delighted that her uncle was finally paying attention to her and unaware of how threatening his behaviour was. He smiled on seeing Elizabeth and remarked on how lovely Lucy was and quite the young woman. It had taken every ounce of her strength to give him a civil answer, before hurrying her daughter away from his wanton gaze.
There was nothing else for it, she decided, but to go to her father and beg for his protection. After all, John had been generous to him when he was alive. Surely he could find it in his heart to give them shelter? Her eyes felt sore from unshed tears, but she knew that if she started to cry now, she would never stop.
Charles was in better humour when she went down to breakfast. She had no idea of his plans to attend a card game that night, but just thanked God for whatever it was had cheered him. He had rigorously cut back on the number of staff. A house the size of Maycroft needed at least sixteen servants, but the new owner had decided they would manage on just two, so Elizabeth was now in sole charge of the children's washing and ironing. Only Thomas and Annie, the cook, remained. At least her days passed much quicker now that she had also taken over the duties of governess. In Charles' opinion, girls did not need a formal education, because the only skills required of them were in the ballroom and the bedroom.
Elizabeth's daughters were delighted that they were to visit their grandfather, as it was an excuse to get away from their books. They walked the two miles to his house.
Her father's farmyard was very busy, as heaps of tubers, the seed potatoes to be planted, filled cart after cart. She failed to recognise at least three of the casual labourers hired for the planting, but her father's full-time men, Jim and Matt, saluted her and Mick called out to her as always, âHello there, Miss Lizzy.'
She smiled, the others had taken to calling her your ladyship, but she would always be Miss Lizzy to him.
âHello, Mick.'
She hitched up her skirts and ordered the girls to do the same. While they carefully picked their way across the yard to the house, she went over to Mick.
âHow are you, Mick?' She smiled into the familiar weather-beaten face.
âSad times for you, Miss Lizzy.' It was a statement, not a question.
âYes, indeed, Mick, sad times.'
âHimself is inside, and there's no telling as to his humour.'
âThank you, I'll go right in. Say a prayer for me.'
âAlways, girl, always.'
Mick watched as she walked towards the open door and was swallowed up by the darkness of the hallway. He knew she was there to ask for help, having seen it coming ever since he'd run into that Fitzwilliam in one of the local taverns.
Elizabeth found her father at the kitchen table with his granddaughters sitting around him in silence. He looked up on Elizabeth's arrival, but there was no word of welcome, no smile to soften the hardness in his eyes.
âHello, Father, I trust I find you in good health?'
âWell enough, and too busy to receive visitors.'
âI can see that, Father. I just wanted a word with you in private. It will only take a moment.' She nodded to Lucy, who took this as her cue to take her sisters outside. When they were safely out of earshot she said, âI need your help.'
He held up a hand.
âIf this help, as you call it, means taking you and your young ones in, you know where I stand. I've enough to do without having four more mouths to feed.'
âBut you're doing well, Father. I saw three more labourers in the yard, and there's a room lying empty at the top of the house. We won't take up much space and I can help in the house.'
âMrs Riordan sees to all that.' The daily help, if the rumours were to be believed, was far more than a housekeeper.
âThen you could get rid of her. Save that wage.'
âI'll not get rid of her, indeed! I thought I was rid of you, and now you want to come back and with three more along with you! I'm not having you back here. Haven't you a grand roof over your heads as it is? You don't like your new master? Well, get used to it, my girl. There's better than you have had to.' He was red with anger.
âHe comes to my room at night, Father, tries to open the door.' She felt so mortified at having to speak to her father of such things.
âAnd?'
âHe tries to come in.'
âWell let him in and maybe he'll treat you better.'
âAre you saying I should sell myself for a place to live, Father? Would you make a whore out of your only child?'
âEnough,' he banged the table with his fist. âYou've said enough, madam.'
âI've only started! My husband was good to you while he lived. It was he who gave you the horses that pull your plough.'
âAll that's in the past; no good can come from bringing the dead into it. Your husband can't help you now. Go on your way and don't trouble me again.'
âYou have my word on that,' she said, shaking with temper. âI'll never see you again.'
âGood.'
The children were looking at the spring lambs when she called to them. Without waiting, she walked through the yard gate and out onto the track that would lead her back to Maycroft. Catching Mick's eye, she shook her head and turned away, afraid he would see the tears.
The children were breathless when they finally caught up with her.
âDid it not go well with grandfather?' Lucy asked.
Elizabeth drew her close.
âI asked if we could come and live with him, but he refused.'
âHas Uncle Charles asked us to leave?'
âNo, it's just that I've been unsettled since your father died. I'd prefer to find a place of our own, one without so many memories.'
âYou don't like Uncle Charles do you, Mamma?'
âWell, it's not that I don't like him,' she lied. âWe have different ideas and tastes and it is difficult to live with someone with whom you have nothing in common.'
âI don't like him either. I know you think I'm still a child, but I'm not really. I hate the way he looks at me. I always feel he's going to bite me.'
Becky and Charlotte came running past, shouting at their sister to play with them.
âWe must look out for one another from now on,' Elizabeth said.
âYes, Mamma.'
They walked back to the Hall an arm around each other's waist, and for the first time in weeks, Elizabeth did not feel quite so alone.
****
It was well into May and as yet there was no sign of summer. It rained for days on end and the children had begun to behave like caged animals, fighting and arguing all the time. Their noise brought Charles bellowing from his study on a number of occasions. Elizabeth was spending most of her time in the nursery and was unaware of his many visits to the stables. She was thankful that he stayed out each night until almost dawn and returned too tired to pay her any unwelcome visits.
****
For Charles the past few weeks of gambling were beginning to tell financially as well as physically. Carey and his fellow players might be having a run of luck, but he assured himself, it was only a matter of time until his turn came. In the meantime his coffers needed replenishing. With an estate the size of Maycroft, there must be many ways of doing this. He would send for Ryan, the estate manager and set him the task. Feeling very sorry for himself, he drank almost a decanter of whiskey.
Endless days of rain were bad enough, but it was the cold and damp that bothered Timmy's mother most. She needed to keep a fire going constantly and this used up most of the turf. Since her husband was working in the fields and Timmy in the stables, it was up to her to cut more in the bog. Turf-cutting mostly depended on the weather. In dry weather the turf was at least clean. Now, with the constant rain, it was proving to be a nightmare.
Her back had been bad since the birth of Rose, a breech that had almost cost her life. She had paid a high price for her labour, taking weeks to recover. Weeks when her husband shouted at her to get up from the bed, berating her for what he saw as laziness. It was loss of blood that kept her there, and the pain that shot like fire along her lower back. Even afterwards, when he turned to her at night and she begged to be left alone, he paid no heed. Four children to feed and he still only cared for his own needs. The priests were worse for filling men's heads with their nonsense. Increase and multiply, fill the earth. Aye, the men took them at their word.
She had gone to see Father O'Reilly once, begged him to speak to Pat for the sake of her health and that of the children. Instead, he berated her and sent her away with her head bowed in what he though was disgrace, but was, in fact, despair.
âWhere there's life there's hope, woman. Go home and do your duty as a wife and, if that means you're to bear more children, then so be it. It's God's will, and he will see you through.'
See her through, she thought, as she heaved the old wicker basket over her shoulder. He was taking his time.
Peter carried the spade as he walked beside her. They would have to make at least ten trips before there was enough turf to last the week. The rain had turned the bog into a soggy, puddle-dotted, swamp. The spade sliced through easily enough, but it was hoisting the waterlogged peat that hurt the most. Each sod seemed to weigh a ton as she tore it from the earth, and her sweat mingled with the rain, so that she was soaked through within minutes. Twice during the day, she slipped and fell in the mud, wrenching and pulling her back. She had to lie breathless and allow waves of pain to wash over her until, finally, she was once again able to stand. Peter tried to do as much of the digging as possible, but the spade was too big for his hands and he was more of a hindrance than a help.
It was late evening when they collected the last load and she was glad of the pelting rain. At least the child could not see the tears that ran down her cheeks, making tracks through the dirt on her face. She knew that there would be four hungry mouths waiting at the cabin when they got there. Despite three of them working, there was little left to spend each week on food. They put aside a large amount for rent, more for seeds, and Pat drank what she didn't manage to get from him. It was only by going through his pockets when he fell into a drunken stupor, that she got the odd shilling or sixpence. He never mentioned its loss to her, imagining that it had fallen from his pocket in the tavern.
Was it a wonder so many men drank, working all the hours God sent and for what? A cabin that is no more than a hovel, hoards of hungry children to feed and growing old before their time. And if they did manage to scrimp and save, what could they ever hope to buy, to own? The gentry made sure that land was out of their reach. A Catholic owning land, and maybe doing as well as them!
But, to hear the priests tell it, they were blessed; theirs was the One True Faith. Hungry men, women and children filled the pews each week and listened to the words that kept them downtrodden. Work hard, they preached, have more children, honour God, but fear him more. Fear him more? She almost laughed. She feared everything. She feared the coming of each day, feared the look of want in her children and the knowledge that it would only get worse. It was lucky that the women of Ireland did not take to the bottle, for then the country would surely collapse.
Once inside she dropped the heavy basket and got Peter out of his wet clothes. She took the blanket off one of the beds and wrapped it around his shivering body. She wiped at his hair with a piece of cloth to remove as much of the rainwater as she could, unaware of the sodden skirt clinging to her legs. Peter, as usual, was ravenous and wolfed down the four potatoes Timmy put in front of him, along with a bowl of buttermilk.
Her husband sat coldly watching without saying a word. It was only when Timmy took the last basket of turf to the pile in the corner and upended it onto the growing mound that he finally spoke.
âThat stuff is so wet, you'll be lucky if it dries enough to burn.'
Peter stopped eating for a minute to stare at his father, Timmy stood with one leg on the turf pile in stony silence, and their mother, who was holding out her steaming skirt in front of the fire, just glared at him. It was probably the hatred in her eyes that sent him away to bed without another word.
She had to bite her bottom lip to stop herself crying again. What would it cost him to say something kind? Even one small word could help to lighten the darkness for her and the children.
Timmy laid a hand on her shoulder. âMa, sit down. I'll make you some tea. That'll warm you up in no time.'
She allowed him to lead her to the chair and watched as he set about mashing the old tea-leaves, trying to beat some flavour from the damp, black clump, before pouring steaming water over them.
âThere's to be a killing up at the Hall tomorrow,' he told her. âThe herdsman said I should bring a sack, and maybe there'll be some offal and bones left over.' He hadn't meant to tell her, wanting it to be a surprise, but he was glad that he did, when the sadness faded from her eyes. Bones meant beef broth and nourishment for them all, especially the younger ones. He handed her the cup and she gazed down into the weak, amber liquid, sighing.
âAye that would be grand, lad, a sup of beef tea would drive the cold from all our bones.'
Peter's head drooped as he nodded off from the heat of the fire. She motioned to Timmy to help him to bed. After he had done so he came back and knelt before her. âWill you try and eat something, Ma, just a bit of bread?'
âNo, son, I'm tired out, and I don't want to waste it. You can take some of it to work with you tomorrow. Lord, but I'm tired,' she whispered into the flames.
Timmy reached up and felt her forehead.
âAh, I'm all right, son,' she stroked his cheek. âJust old and tired, that's all.'
But Timmy was worried. He knew that his mother wasn't old. She was about the same age as Martin's mother, a plump and jolly woman.
His mother was thin and sick-looking, and rarely smiled. He wanted to ask her so many questions. Why, with the three of them working, was there so little to eat? Perhaps he already knew the answer. Wasn't it plain to see in the fine trap and horses that Mick Dwyer, the local tavern owner, drove? Profiting from the weakness of the men, many said, and Timmy knew it was true in their case. Sometimes he wished his family were like Martin's. There were many times, when he called in to see his friend on the way home from work, that he was greeted with a cup of tea and a hot bit of griddlecake with the butter dripping off it. He'd sit around the table with Martin and his mother, and tell them all the latest gossip from the Hall. They would listen wide-eyed in wonder to the stories about the gentry and Martin's mother would refill his cup and cut him another slice of cake, as she urged him to tell her more. His favourite time of all was being there when Martin's father came home. Tired from a day of casual toiling he would still come smiling through the door.
âGod bless all here,' he'd call and be greeted by his wife and a flurry of children. On seeing Timmy, he'd ruffle his hair. âAnd how's the big man? Still keeping that Hall in running order are you?' Timmy would laugh and say he was only a stable boy, but Martin's father would have none of it. âGo on with you, I heard you run that place single-handed. They say it would go to rack and ruin without you.'
Before he sat, Martin's father put what he had earned that day into an old china teapot on the mantelpiece. âThat will see us through another day, Maisie,' he'd wink at Martin's mother, and Timmy would feel himself grow warm inside with the look she gave her husband. There was no hatred in her eyes, just the proud look of a woman well thought of by the man she loved. Now looking at his mother and remembering this, brought tears to Timmy's eyes. His mother noticed and pulled him towards her. She smelt damp and the hand that stroked his face was rough and bumpy with calluses, but it was his mother's hand.
âI'm fine, son. You're not to worry.'
She had mistaken his tear-filled eyes for worry about her, and worried he was. No matter what it took, if it meant going down on his knees, he would get the unwanted offal and bones from the herdsman the next day. âYou'll have to get out of these wet clothes, Ma,' he whispered. âYou'll catch your death.'
âI'll do that, son, I've a shift hanging on the back of the door. I'll put that on and hang these in front of the fire. They'll be dry come morning.'
âI'll go to bed.' He got up knowing she needed her privacy and sorry that, for the first time in over a year, there would be no reading that night. Just before he left the room, a thought crossed his mind, and he stopped and turned around. She thought he had gone and was peeling off the wet clothes. Her back was towards him and he was aghast at how thin she really was. He could have counted every bone in her back, and her once snow-white skin was covered with large yellow and black bruises. How had she come by these? His father hadn't beaten her of late. She tugged at the piece of rag that tied up her hair and pulled it free. Her hair tumbled past her waist, reddish-brown in the light of the fire. Just for a moment, he was able to imagine how beautiful she had once been.
Timmy crept into bed and lay down beside the others. Only then he remembered what he had meant to say to her ⦠it was that the rain would stop soon and the bushes and shrubs would be filled with wool. There had been so many new lambs born that year that, at times, it looked as though it had snowed on the fields. They could gather the wool in the evenings after work, and Martin's mother would let her use the spinning wheel. They would have lots of wool and his mother could make them all new jumpers and a shawl for herself. That was what he had wanted to tell her and she would have smiled.