Patterns of Swallows (8 page)

Graham slumped back in his seat.

"You can't just tell a
fellow to talk and expect him to, just like that. Talk just has to
happen."

"Well, that's how I feel
about kissing. It should just happen. You can't just tell a girl to
kiss you and expect her to, just like that. Don't you find it's
getting a little old by now?"

Graham looked put-out for a
moment, but then he laughed, in spite of himself.

"You're not quite like
anyone else, are you?"

"I hope not."

"Well, you're not. You're
not like any girl I've ever known, that's for sure."

Graham still believed in a
formula. He thought Ruth was the exception to the formula. He
didn't know enough women – really know them, that is – to
understand that the formula is a myth.

*
* *

"Graham, aren't you seeing
an awful lot of that girl?"

His mother had waited up for
him. As Graham walked soft-footed into the house, she was waiting at
the kitchen table in her housecoat and curlers.

"What are you doing up,
Mom? It's late."

"I know it's late. That's
why I'm up. You're father and I have been worried about you. I
never see you anymore. I couldn't go to sleep until we'd talked, and
it seems the only chance I'd have to catch you was if I waited up for
you."

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?
I'm dead beat. I'm sure you must be."

"I know you're over
nineteen. I know you're a grown man. I don't want to interfere in
your life, but as long as you're under our roof, we can't help
feeling responsible for you. We don't want you throwing your life
away."

"I have no intention of
throwing my life away. What're you getting at? It's too late at
night for this discussion, anyways."

"I mean that girl. The
Chavinski girl. The one you've been seeing so much of."

"You mean Ruth? What about
her?"

"Well ... just that ...
she's not quite like the other girls, is she?" (Mrs. MacKellum
should have known better than to believe in a formula. She didn't
really, but it was something to say. She meant that Ruth was not
like one other girl in particular.)

"And hooray for that!
Who'd want her to be like the other girls?"

"What's wrong with the
other girls? There are plenty of nice girls around. You seemed very
fond of Lily Turnbull at one time. I don't know what happened
between the two of you, but your father and I have often wondered. I
don't know how Ruth could catch your fancy after Lily. They're very
different people."

There was a hint of a knife's
edge in Graham's short laugh.

"Maybe that's why Ruth
'caught my fancy' as you put it."

"Well, that's what I'm
afraid of."

"I don't know what that's
supposed to mean. What're you afraid of? I don't know what you have
against Ruth, Mom."

"I don't have anything
against her, personally. I'm sure she's a nice enough girl. It just
seems like you took up with her awfully quick after you and Lily had
your falling out. I'm afraid, well, I'm afraid of you hurting Ruth,
for one thing. She's more serious than the other girls are, I think.
I wouldn't mind so much if she was the kind of girl just out for a
good time who could look after herself. I'm afraid you're still
smarting from whatever happened with Lily, and Ruth is a distraction.
But does she know that? Are you being fair to her?"

"Why are you so worried
about Ruth all of a sudden?"

"I'm worried about you,
Graham. I'm worried that you're heading somewhere you don't realize
you're heading. Girls have their ways of hanging onto young men.
There's been more than one young fellow to find himself trapped into
a situation he never planned for."

"Mother! I really hope
you're not implying what I think you're implying! Let me tell you
something about Ruth. She is, as you say, 'a nice enough girl.'
She's not only nice. She's good. She's ... I dunno. She's
different. There's something good and, well, straight about her.
You're right, she's not like the other girls, and I think that's what
it is that's 'caught my fancy.' I like her. A lot. I have no
intention of hurting her, if that's what you're worried about. I
don't think she's all that wrapped up in me, anyways. And if you're
worried about me getting into a marriage I'm not ready for, don't
worry about that, either. I doubt the thought's even crossed Ruth's
mind, and I'm not planning on marrying anyone for a long time yet,
but when I do, I'll be ready for it, and it will be my choice. As
for what happened between me and Lily Turnbull, she dumped me, if you
must know. But since I've got to know Ruth, I'm glad of it. And
Ruth was part of helping me see that, so you should be grateful to
her. Do you have anything else to say to me because I'm about talked
out?"

"No, Graham. I've said my
piece. I just want you to be careful, that's all."

"Okay, well, I am. I will
be. I'm going to bed now. Good night, Mother."

"Graham. Why don't you
ever bring her to meet us? You could bring her for supper one
night?"

"I'll think about that."

"Why don't you want her to
meet us?"

"It's not that. I just had
the feeling you didn't want to meet her. That you'd look down on her
for some reason."

"For what reason?"

"Oh, her family background.
Or the residential school. Or her living alone on that farm. I
don't know. Any number of reasons. I've just heard the comments
around town."

"You're not going with this
girl just because of those things, are you?"

"Wha'd'you mean?"

"I mean, oh, I don't know.
Because of her mixed race. To prove that you're not like the people
who would make comments about her? That you're bigger than that? Or
to spite me or your father? Some form of teenage rebellion? One
hears about young people doing things like that for no other reason
than to get back at their parents for some wrong they imagine their
parents have done them."

"Y'see? It's because I
knew you'd think things like that that I didn't want to bring her to
meet you. You'd be all sugar to her face, but secretly you'd be
thinking that she's not good enough for a MacKellum and wondering
what her game was and comparing her in your mind to Lily Turnbull and
all that, and she'd sense it and bolt, and I'd never see her again.
She can tell things like that. And she's proud as all get out."

"Oh, I see. The reason you
don't want us to meet this girl is not because you're ashamed of her;
it's because you're ashamed of us, your parents."

"I wouldn't like to put it
that way, but all right! Maybe that's a little closer to the truth.
I'm ashamed of the way you see Ruth. Can you honestly tell me that
her race isn't an issue for you?"

"I know a little more of
the ways of the world than you do, Graham. I have nothing against
the girl personally. I have nothing against her people, whoever they
may be, but if you start to get serious about her, I just know that
two people from different backgrounds have additional hardships to
face. Especially if they're not from the same race, if they have
children, their children might be looked down upon. These are just
the facts of life, Graham, and you have to face them."

"Ah-ha! Now we're getting
to it! 'Yes, Graham, it is her race that I object to.' That's it,
isn't it?"

"Will you lower your voice?
You'll wake your father."

"Well, shouldn't he be
involved in this discussion, too? Does he feel the same way?"

"We both feel you might end
up unhappy. I don't see why you don't try to patch things up with
Lily. You both seemed so happy together. I'm sure it was just a
lover's quarrel, but you're taking it too far. You're just being
stubborn."

Graham blew out an exasperated
breath.

"As
I told you, Lily didn't want
me
.
I
wasn't
what Lily wanted. There's nothing else I can say about it. Why do
we have to have this conversation right now?"

"It's just that your father
and I want the best for you. Is it so wrong to want the best for
your children?"

"And by that you mean that
Lily is the best, I suppose."

"That's not exactly what I
mean. I just mean, with you and Ruth, that other people outside of
the situation can see things that two people in a relationship can't
see sometimes. Look at Pat. She made her own choices, and now she
has to bear the consequences. She's not in an easy marriage. I
tried to talk to her beforehand. I could see the difficulties she
was heading for, but she wouldn't listen. She was 'in love,' and
that was all there was to it. I just don't want to see you making
the same mistakes as your sister."

"If I did marry Ruth, how
would that be the same mistake Pat made? Earl is as white as you or
I."

"That's not what I'm
talking about."

"Oh, isn't it? I thought
it was."

"I just mean, sometimes an
outside party can see things the person involved can't see. I'm just
saying you and Ruth would find problems you never expected if you
married her. That's all I'm saying."

"Okay, you've said it.
I've said that I have no intention of marrying anyone at present, and
I'm sure Ruth isn't thinking of me in that way, either. Now can we
both just go to bed, please? I've got to be up at seven tomorrow,
and you probably have to be up earlier."

"Good-night, Graham. Don't
be angry. Just think seriously about what I've said, will you?"

"Yes, I will, Mother.
Good-night."

Graham was just glad the ordeal
was over for now and that his father hadn't woken up to put in his
two-cents' worth. See if he ever brought Ruth around to see his
parents! What a disaster that would be! A dinner with the four of
them – he could see it now: his father silent and preoccupied
and wishing he were back at the mill; his mother mentally comparing
Ruth to Lily Turnbull all the while.

*
* *

I don't know that anyone ever
told Ruth about Graham and Lily Turnbull beforehand. It's hard to
imagine that someone in Arrowhead hadn't felt it necessary to inform
Ruth that Graham and Lily had been (in the eyes of the town) headed
for the altar just months before Ruth came back. But, like I say,
people tended to hold their tongues around Ruth for some reason.

The break-up happened right
before the time when Ruth came back. All the rife speculation at the
time never managed to unearth the root of the quarrel. There were
several favoured theories, but the plain fact was that Lily was
seeing Bo Weaver, and seeing him fairly seriously and exclusively,
weeks, if not days, after the time of her seeing Graham seriously and
exclusively.

There was no doubt in anyone's
mind who chose whom. What lowly peasant would dare to deny royalty
her slightest whim, even if the whim was for the lowly peasant
himself? That was how the townspeople accounted for the unlikely
pairing.

An odder couple than Lily and Bo
could not be imagined ... though the Weaver family had risen socially
in recent years. With Bo supporting his mother and five brothers and
sisters in a respectable manner, the town had largely forgotten how
Mrs. Weaver had kept her family alive during the lean times. The
ladies of the town acknowledged her presence in a forgiving manner
now. A change in fortunes will cover a multitude of sin.

Mainly, Lily and Bo were
inexplicable because it was hard to imagine that Lily could have kept
somewhere deep inside of her the kind of discernment necessary for
picking out the kind of quality article that Bo Weaver was.

Though, really, should we have
been surprised? Lily always did have a hankering to have the best of
everything. Lily's taste in clothes was legendary in our town. Why
should we all have been surprised that she had a shrewd eye when it
came to men, too? Especially since Bo had shown that he possessed,
in addition to character, the kind of financial backbone necessary
for the happiness of a Turnbull scion. He wasn't rich, but he was
smart and hard-working, and there was a possibility he could be
well-heeled some day.

Or maybe it had nothing to do
with Bo's quality. Maybe it was just the thrill of the chase. Maybe
the others bored her with their obvious readiness to be caught. Bo
Weaver was the one man in town that Lily might have expected to give
her some trouble in the catching.

Maybe more surprising was Bo's
lack of discernment in being caught so readily.

But whatever the cause of Bo and
Lily, there could hardly have been an odder couple.

Unless
it was Ruth and Graham. Most people assumed that the fact of Graham
and Ruth was merely revenge-seeking toward Lily on Graham's part. As
the months of the fact of Graham and Ruth drew close onto a year,
however, most of the town (outside of his parents who still held out
hope for Graham and Lily right up until Lily's engagement) began to
accept them as just another
fait
accompli.
And
once a
fait
accompli
happens,
it loses its novelty and so its shock value.