Parker's Island (4 page)

“Look, can y
ou just take me home…please?”
I said with pleading eyes.

Molly backed her car out of the space and slowly made her way toward the exit of the
school parking
lot.  “Hmmm, what do you know
?
Logan’s staring at you
…again. 
He doesn’t look real happy
,
either.  Maybe he has a headache
,
too
,
”
s
he said, stung by my obvious avoidance of her questions.

“How would I know if Logan has a headache?”

“You tell me
.  Y
ou were
the one t
alking to him and now h
e’s staring right at you
, like he’s feeling guilty about something
.”

I glanced over and our eyes met.  He didn’t smile or wave, he just stood there
,
still looking like he had something he wanted to tell me, but couldn’t.

We drove to my house in silence.  Molly
was very angry with me for not telling her why I was so upset
, b
ut
I was completely crushed and couldn’t even find the words to try to explain. 
             
“Molly, I’m sorry.  I want to
tell
you, honestly, and I will, but right now I just can’t.”  The tears were welling up once again.

“Okay.  Call me when you feel like talking.  But right now you
better
pull yourself together.  Your mom isn
’t going to let you off the hook
as easy as I did
,
”
s
he said, while handing me a few napkins from her glove compartment. 

“Do I look that bad?”

“No
…well yeah, actually
,
you look like you just lost the love of your life.”

I immediately started crying again, sobbing as the words sunk in.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry
,
Delaney.  I didn’t mean it.  I didn’t really think he meant that much to you.”

“Well
,
he does
.  S
o now you know
,
” I sobbed some more.

“So what happened?”
s
he asked.

“It doesn’t matter.  It’s
nothing
.
I just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

“What did he do?”
s
he asked, looking more confused than before.

“Nothing, he didn’t do anything.  I better go in now.  I don’t see my mom’s
car
.  M
aybe I
can go pull myself together before she gets home.
”

“Delaney, I don’t understand. 
Please tell me w
hat happened
.
”
s
he asked, pressing
me for details.

I laid my head back against the seat and closed my eyes,
“I did what you said.
I asked him out
;
well sort of. 
An
d he…
he
turned me down
,
”
I said, sniffling.

“You asked him out?  No
way!”
s
he said, obviously impressed.  “Wait, what do you mean
,
sort of?”

“I
invited him to the movies with us, you know as a friend.  But he said he’s not really into movies
,
”
I was s
obbing again.

“Oh
,
good grief!  So, you didn’t actually ask him out on a date
.  Y
ou just invited him
to tag
along to the movies with all of us.  Delaney, that doesn’t
even
count.”

“Still, if he was interested in me at all, he’d have agreed to
come
.  Obviously he’s not interested.”

“Maybe he would rather be alone with
you.  H
e’s obviously not much into group activities.  You should ask him out again, so that he
’ll
know it
would
just
be
the two of you.”

“NO WAY!  That was hard enough!  I made the first move and was shot down.  I’m done!”

“
Delaney,
I think you should try again. 
I know you don’t believe me, but he’s ALWAYS watching you.  Maybe he was just taken off guard.  But, you won’t know unless you try
again
.  Give him another chance.”

“No, I can’t go through
th
is again.  It’s done!”

“Fine, wallow in your own self
-
pity, but there’s your mom, so pull yourself together.  We’re all supposed to meet at 4:30 tomorrow for the movie.
  Don’t you dare stand me up.
”

“
You know,
I’m not sure I’m up to it.”  Mentioning the movie almost brought back the stalled tears.

“Oh no, you’re not backing out of this.
You promised.  Besides, Carrie, Jim, Beth and Jed are all meeting us
there
.”

“What are we going to see?” I asked
, not really caring
.

“
That new Sarah Webber film
,
”
s
he said
, rather
vaguely.

“Oh.  Hey
,
isn’t that rated R?” I asked.

“Is it
?
I don’t think so
,
”
s
he said, looking guilty.

“You’re as bad a liar as I am.  You know it’s rated R, and you know I don’t go see movies like that.”

“Like what
, a
movie without a Disney character?  Come on Delaney, please
?
  You’re almost 18 years old!
”

“Fine, I don’t even care.  I better go inside now
,
” I said, feeling another
wave of tears approaching.

“See you tomorrow
,
”
s
he said and drove away before I
had the chance to
change my mind.

Once inside, I ran into the bathroom and tried to fix my red, swollen eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.  It was a huge undertaking, but by the time I washed my face, and added some eye drops, I decided I was ready to face my family. 

I got busy setting the table and doing a few of my chores and was able to sit down to dinner with my family and made what I thought were all the appropriate responses.  I even managed to choke down a few bites of
dinner
, hoping no one noticed the very small portion of food I
had taken.
   Once dinner was done and the dishes washed, dried and put away, I finally made it back to my room.  I closed the door, leaning against it, and soon found myself
curled up in a ball with the flood gates wide open.

I knew I shouldn’t feel like this, but I couldn’t help it.  All I knew was that there were only a few weeks
of school
left
.
I was graduating and it felt like my life was over.  I should be happy
.
I was done with high scho
ol and moving on with my life…
but all I could think about was Logan, and how he wouldn’t be in it.

I couldn’t seem to control my sobbing, and whether she heard me or just sensed
my
agony, my mother quietly knocked on my door.  “Delaney, honey,
may
I come in?”

“Um, I’m really tired
,
Mom
,
” I said, through sniffles.

“Honey, maybe I can help.  I was young once
,
too.”

Oh
,
good grief
.  N
ot the ‘I was young once too
’
spe
e
ch
,
I thought.

“Please
,
honey?”
s
he asked again when I didn’t respond.

“Come in
,
” I finally said, rolling over to hide my tear-streaked face.

She sat down next to me and stroked my back.  “Honey, what is it?  What’s wrong?”

My mother, being a very nurturing person came prepared with a box of tissues and a cold wash cloth for my
so
re eyes. She let me cry for a few more minutes before she finally said, “He must be very special for you to be this upset.”

I stopped crying, wiped my eyes and mumbled, “It doesn’t matter now
,
anyway.”

“Of course it does.  Whatever it is, we can work it out.”

“You can’t fix this for me
,
Mom.”

I watched my mom close her eyes, take a deep breath, and then she
asked
, “Delaney, are you…
pregnant?”

I was stunned.  I couldn’t
even offer a
response to that insane question.  I may not know everything about
procreation, but I knew it took more than just sitting next to a guy to get pregnant.  She took my
stunned
silence as confirmation of her greatest fear.

“It will be okay.  It’s going to be very difficult telling your father
.  H
e’s going to be very disappointed…not in you
,
dear
, just the…
circumstances.”
 

I could see all of the things she was planning for
me
.  T
he wheels were turning so fast in her head
that
she didn’t even blink.  I seriously thought about letting her stew for a
while, but then realized she really did want to help, even if it meant sending me away to hide this very un-Christian act from this very Christian home.
An un-wed, pregnant teenage daughter – oh, the scandal
!

“Mom!!!  I’m NOT pregnant!”
I said a little too harshly.

“Are you sure?”

Did she just ask me if I was sure that I WASN’T pregnant?  Oh good Lord, was this torture EVER going to end?
 
“Yes, I’m sure!!!!”
I snapped.

“Oh, well then…
w
onderful
,
”
s
he said
,
looking like she was once again
going to be able to face my father’s congregation with her head held high.

“Then I don’t understand.  What could possibly have you this upset?” 
s
he asked incredulously, as if my being pregnant could be the only
real
problem I could possibly have.

“It’s nothing.  I’m fine, really
,
” I said
,
anger mixed in with my misery now.

“It must be something.”

“I had a bad day at school, that’s all.”

“So there isn’t a boy involved?”

“No, there’s no one
,
” I lied.  I never lied to my mother
.
I
had
avoided some of her questions
occasionally
, but I had never actually lied to her face before.  If I wasn’t so angry with her, I probably would have felt guilty, but I just wanted this conversation to end so I could cry myself to sleep.

“Mom, I’m really tired.  I just want to go sleep now, okay?”

“I wish you would talk to me.”

“We are talking.  I told you, I just had a very bad day at school.”

“Okay.  If you want to talk about it, I’ll be downstairs with Dad.”

“Fine
!
” I said, my anger reaching the surface.

Molly called me the next morning to remind me that we had plans for the movie that afternoon.  “I didn’t forget.”

“Good thing.  You really could use some fun in your life
,
” Molly said, still sensing my anguish.

“Yeah, I guess I could.  What time are you picking me up and
when will I be
home?”

“I’ll pick you up at 3:30 and I thought we’d all go out to dinner after the movie, so you’ll be
home by about
10:00.”