Parallel Visions (15 page)

“
Already doing it.
”
Mason keeps spraying, the hissing sound filling my ears.

I cough so hard it feels like my lungs are in my throat. I can barely breathe. The puke-green kitchen walls undulate in front of me.
“
Jenna will—”
cough “
-never forgive you.
”
Cough.
“
She ’
s coming—”
Cough.
“
now .
”

Mason hesitates, his finger loosening on the aerosol can, his arm shaking.
“
Freak, ”
he whispers.

“
You ’
ll lose...
”
cough “
…her.
”

My lungs are
shrivelling up. I can ’
t get enough air. My vision blurs, things coming in and out of focus. I cough so hard, I choke.

“
Right. You almost had me there.
”
Mason empties the aerosol can into the air, then takes another out and sprays it around.
“
You think you can trick me that easy? You ’
re wrong.
”

“
She will…
”
cough “
…hate you.
”

Mason hesitates again.

My lips and fingers are numb. I ’
m so dizzy I don ’
t even know if I ’
m sitting upright any more, but I must be; I still feel the tape around my chest. I hack harder. I know I ’
m going to die. Jenna will never forgive herself. Mom and Dad will be shattered. Gil will be hurt. Mom, Dad, Jenna, Gil, I love you all.

Then I hear Mason laughing, as if from far away.

I open my eyes, my vision blurry. My chest hurts like a bus is lying on top of it. I ’
m staring at the blue tile floor, tiny droplets of cleaning fluid like rain on the ceramic. My head lolls to the side. I gasp, trying to breathe, my heart pumping so hard it feels like it might burst. I hear Jenna ’
s voice and strain to bring her words into focus.

“
You murderer!
”

“
I only did it to protect you!
”
Mason shouts.
“
To protect us !
”

Don ’
t let me die . I raise my head.
“
Jenna, ”
I croak. It ’
s not loud, but it ’
s enough. I ’
m coughing again, hacking deeply, struggling for air.

“
Oh, honey, ”
Jenna cries, running forward. She fumbles in her purse, yanks out one of my inhalers, the one she keeps at her place, and puffs it into my mouth.

I struggle to breathe in.
Jenna loves me!
Even though she resents me, even though she thought I was destroying her marriage, she still carried around an inhaler for me. And she came rushing over here to save me. I try to smile but I ’
m hacking too hard.

“
What are you doing?
”
Mason yells, yanking Jenna around so hard her head jerks back.
“
She ’
ll tell them what I did. I ’
ll go to jail for sure.
”

“
If you kill her, I ’
ll leave you and you ’
ll go to jail!
”
Jenna shrieks, punching his chest. She jerks her arm out of his grasp and pulls out her phone.

“
Jenna, no!
”
Mason yells.
“
I ’
ll stop. I promise. We ’
ll leave town, just you and me.
”

Jenna ignores him and jabs some numbers into her cell as I cough again, the room spinning around me.
“
I need an ambulance, ”
she shouts.

When I open my eyes again, I ’
m lying on the floor, hands jostling me. Jenna props me up and she ’
s crying.
“
It ’
s going to be all right, Kate. Breathe! Just breathe.
”

I want to tell her I ’
m trying, but I can ’
t get enough air to speak.

Jenna
’
s yelling at Gil to open the windows and throw the cigarettes outside. When did Gil get here?

My chest hurts so bad it feels like it ’
s been ripped open. I struggle for air, but I ’
m so weak.

“
Kate, hang on! Breathe!
”
I hear Gil say, tears in his voice.
“
The ambulance is here. Just hang on a little longer.
”

I want to tell him I ’
m trying, but I can ’
t speak.

Sound and vision fade in and out.

Inez stares at the bottles of medication on her desk, her shoulders slumped. She flashes over and over again to the gang rape, the homophobic taunts, one rapist telling her she should be dead. Slowly, she opens all the bottles of pills on her desk.

Inez! Today is the twenty-third. I ’
ve got to warn Gil.

I shake my head, gasping. Tubes are stuffed up my nose and oxygen is flooding into me.
“
Easy, hon. Just keep breathing, ”
a man in a white uniform says beside me. I hear a siren, the thrum of tires and a beeping machine.

Inez ’
s cell rings again and again. She hesitates, pills in her hand, but finally answers it. Her back straightens, her eyes go wide as she hears Gil ’
s panicked voice telling her Kate ’
s going to the hospital and she might not make it. She hears Gil sobbing. Her little brother.

Inez stands and pours all her pills into the toilet, flushing and flushing until they ’
re gone.
“
Hang in there, Gil. Remind Kate to pull love to her, like Nana said.
”

At least Inez will be okay. I cough and cough, feeling like I ’
m drowning. Panic is like a trapped bird ’
s talons ripping through my chest. I have to keep calm and feel the love, like Inez said. I see Gil, Jenna, Mom and Dad, and I feel them around me, their arms holding me tight. For a second, I almost feel like I can breathe.

The paramedics wheel my stretcher into the hospital, lights passing overhead. I hear shouts and a nurse running up. My chest is heaving, and I can ’
t stop coughing.

“
Hang in there, Kate. Just hang in.
”

Inez paces her room.
“
This is crazy! Kate fighting for her life, me wanting to die, and those boys just getting off scot free.
”

She throws a pill bottle across the room.
“
Screw it! Why should they get away with it? I ’
m going to name them. Try to protect other girls from them. I can do this. I can.
”
Inez paces some more.
“
Kate tried to save me. I ’
ll show her she was right to.
”

She walks out to the kitchen to tell Nana.

You go, Inez!

A doctor is in my face, talking to me loudly. I am a fish out of water, gasping and unable to breathe.

Mason drives down the highway, looking over his shoulder. He turns off onto a dirt road and pulls up at a shack. He barricades the door from inside, then takes a shotgun down off the wall. Then he sits at a table, pointing the gun at the door, and turns the radio on to the news.

I
’
m dying. I can feel it. My lungs are shutting down. I focus on Mom and Dad, on their love for me, on Gil and Jenna, and Inez and Nana, too.
“
Help me, ”
I tell them. For a breath, then another, I breathe easier. But it ’
s too hard and I ’
m too tired. I close my eyes.

When I open my eyes again, I ’
m lying in a hospital bed in a small white room. There ’
s a tube down my throat, a mask on my face, and a ventilator pumping oxygen regularly in and out of my lungs. A machine beeps annoyingly beside me. My chest aches fiercely, and I ’
m so exhausted I want to cry. But I ’
m still alive. I try to swallow and gag on the plastic tube.

They
’
ve intubated me. That isn ’
t a good sign. I weakly turn my head and see Jenna sitting in a chair next to my bed. She leaps up and grabs my hand. Her nose and eyelids are red and swollen.

“
I ’
m so sorry, Kate, ”
she whispers.
“
I didn ’
t know he would do it. I swear I didn ’
t.
”

I make writing motions with my hand.

“
Oh!
”
Jenna fumbles around in her purse, pulls out a small notepad and pen, then hands them to me. She pulls the tray table over for me so I can write.

“
I know u didn ’
t know. It ’
s ok. Don ’
t blame u. Where ’
re Mom and Dad?
”

“
They ’
re talking to the cops. You want me to get them?
”

“
No.
”

Jenna looks down.
“
When Mason asked me about your asthma, at first I thought he was just being nice to me. Trying to understand why...
”
Her cheeks darken.

“
Why u resented me? Because I got the attention.
”
I nudge the pad of paper toward her.

Jenna reads what I wrote, her shoulders slumping.
“
Yeah. It ’
s stupid. I know you get really sick. That you could die. I know you needed Mom—”

“
But u needed her 2, ”
I scribble, fast.
“
I would have been jealous 2.
”

“
Why are you being so nice to me?
”
Jenna cries, throwing the pad of paper back down.

“
You ’
re my big sis. I love u.
”

“
I love you, too, ”
Jenna says, tears in her eyes.
“
I don ’
t know how I ’
ll ever make this right, Mason trying to kill you—”

“
Not your fault, ”
I scribble.
“
Not yours to make right.
”

Jenna shakes her head.
“
I knew he was the jealous type. Obsessive. Controlling...
”
Her voice trails off.
“
I ’
m going to leave him, ”
she says uncertainly.

“
Wow! Good, ”
I write.
“
U r strong and smart 2. He was hurting u.
”

“
Yeah. He was, ”
Jenna says.

“
U need 2 ditch yr phone. He was spying on u w/ it.
”

Jenna gasps.
“
That ’
s how he knew what we ’
d talked about.
”

“
Yes. Just found out. Will u promise 2 get a new 1?
”

“
Yes! Right away.
”

A nurse passes by outside in the hall, her shoes squeaking. My energy is starting to ebb. I grit my teeth, try to push through the exhaustion. I have to ask Jenna. But still, I hesitate, the pen in my hand.
“
R police looking 4 him?
”