Paradise Fought: Abel (24 page)

“Abel, I think you need to move,” I coached him, as if I was the expert.

“I was waiting, allowing you time to get used to me.”

Used to him? I was more than used to Abel. He was a constant comfort, despite our strange start at friendship. I was never going to be the same once I paid him back and our instructions were over.

“I’m good,” I said. Abel stared down at me. I felt like it was the wrong thing to say, but he began to move. He dragged to the edge of me, and I thought I was about to lose him. I clenched to hold him inside me. When he slowly pushed forward, I felt every ridge of him creep inward. My eyes rolled back and I arched into him.

“Oh, Abel,” tumbled out of my mouth. He repeated this pattern several times before the rhythm increased. The familiar tingle spread through me. I was ready to explode again. It became an out of body experience as I gripped his ass and wrapped my legs up over his hips. I couldn’t get him deep enough inside me. The euphoric feeling overwhelmed me and a tear escaped. Abel was a gentle lover and in that moment, that’s what I felt. I was consumed with love from him to me as he continued to purposefully move within me, bringing me the greatest pleasure I’d ever known. For one moment, life felt like it should again.

I crashed around him, pulling up on him and screaming out into the dark night. The heavens were watching me lose my virginity and my heart. I was sacrificed to the gods above, in a ritual as old as those stars. I’d give up my body again and again if I could feel how I felt with Abel.

He stilled, and the pulsing inside me let me know he had reached a climax as well. The aftershocks of those thrusts inside me sparked, but I had no strength to ignite again. Abel had been mumbling terms of endearment while we connected, and as he finished, he kissed my nose then rubbed his against mine.

“You are perfect,” he said one finally time. He wiped at my tear.

“I know I hurt you. Was it that bad?” he asked, sheepishly.

“You are perfect,” I softly spoke to him, trying to tell him with my eyes that he was more than perfect. He smiled slowly and kissed my nose again. Pulling out of me, he tugged off his t-shirt and wiped me clean.

“I’m sure you’re a mess,” he muttered. He handed me my underwear, which I replaced on my own as he pulled up his pants. The moment was suddenly awkward. I didn’t know what to do next. We were beyond any experience I had, yet somehow I sensed that Abel had done this many times before. He knew what he was doing. He hadn’t really needed me for sex.

“How did you know all that?” I asked, as I struggled with my underwear.

“Know what?” he said, falling back on the sleeping bag next to me. He was on his side, perched up on an elbow, watching me as I pulled down my skirt and flattened it over my legs. I was suddenly very shy, feeling self-conscious near him.

“How to have sex? You said you needed a tutor, but you certainly didn’t need tutoring in that.”

He laughed in response, and his face lit up as he smiled at the compliment. He reached for the edge of the sleeping bag and pulled it over me, then lay back. The bag brought a thought. He had to have done this before, right here in the back of his truck. I grew quiet, letting the darkness weigh me down. We lay silent for a long time, staring up at the sky. The night was full of pinpricks of light above.

“You’re very quiet,” he eventually stated. I sensed him watching me, but I refused to look back at him.

“You didn’t answer my question.” My tone was sharper than I intended; the trace of jealousy that others had been in my position laced through my words.

“It’s embarrassing,” he replied, turning his head to face the sky.

“I want to know. You clearly didn’t need a teacher,” I bit.

“I paid for instruction.”

It was my turn to twist and look at him. His eyes were focused forward.

“For my sixteenth birthday, some boys get video games, a new car, even cash. I got a prostitute, from my father. He told me it was time to be a man and learn how to act like it in at least one area.”

I was about to comment that he couldn’t be serious, but the irritation in his voice let me know that Abel wasn’t joking.

“Have you been with a lot of girls?” I wondered, a glutton for punishment.

“They’ve all been paid,” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly embarrassed by this admission. His fingers pinched at his eyes, and I rolled to face him better.

“You’ve never been with anyone who was a date or a girlfriend?” I asked softly.

“I’ve never had either. That’s why I needed the tutor.”

I was stunned. Abel didn’t need tutoring. He was always doing things for me. Taking care of me. That’s what a…a boyfriend did. We might not have had a formal date but we’d done things together: ice cream, the dance studio, this night under the stars. I was going to be staying with him for the next week.

“Abel, you don’t need me for tutoring,” I said quietly, sadly realizing that he didn’t need me for anything.

“I do need you, my rúnsearc.” His voice was a harsh whisper.

“What does that mean?” I giggled, remembering our conversation over ice cream.

“Oh, Elma, I’m definitely not ready to kill you yet, so that name will have to remain my secret,” he teased, releasing the tension of his sexual history.

“You had a sleeping bag?” I inquired, as we climbed into his truck. I’d ridden to the fight with Creed, wanting to surprise Abel. I watched the fight on a monitor, rather than enter the arena. It was the closest I could be to a fight after what happened to me.

Abel started the engine. He was shirtless and the muscles of his upper body rippled with movement as he drove.

“I like to drive out to open spaces, fields, and places outside the city then lay under the stars. It’s soothing.”

I smiled slowly, watching him with his wrist casually balancing over the steering wheel.

“Seems like a great big world, doesn’t it?” I snorted softly.

He glanced sideways at me before answering.

“It does, and I’m just a lone fish in a big tank,” he laughed. I thought of the aquarium in his room, and the iridescent blue fighter floating peacefully in its tank. He was beautiful, like his owner, but he was also alone. I suddenly realized that Abel Callahan had been lonely for a long, long time.

Sundays were the one day The Dance Studio was closed, so Elma wanted to go into the office and work on the studio website. She also had drawn up some designs for the spring performance and wanted to play with some computer program that included brochure making. I decided I needed a run to burn off some energy. Sleeping next to Elma was heaven, but waking up next to her was hell. My body fought for hers. I couldn’t take her so quickly after what we’d done the night before.

I also planned to hit up the library to work on a research project that would be the final assessment in human anatomy. The library was still open for the few students that remained around, despite the university break. I was walking through the stacks looking for a book when I saw Lucie.

“Hey, Lucie,” I whispered loudly. She had passed the shelves but stepped back to look down the aisle at me.

“Hey, Abel. I didn’t know you were still around this week,” she smiled sweetly. She was a cute girl, shy looking, but friendly.

“Yeah, I don’t go home much. Wanted to get a jump start on working on my research project for human anatomy.”

“Ugh. That project’s a bitch,” she said, surprising me with her language. I laughed.

“If you need help, my friend is a TA for Human Anatomy 101. She took it last spring and got a solid A in it, so they hired her as work study for this semester.”

“Awesome. Thanks,” I said, replacing the book in my hand to the shelf. It wasn’t the right one. Lucie had started walking away then stopped and turned back to me.

“As a matter of fact, Sofie’s here. Want to meet her?”

“Sofie?” I questioned. It took a moment to click. It couldn’t be this easy. Sofie Vincentia: the girl Cain was looking for on campus.

“Sure,” I said, following Lucie out of the stacks. As we exited together, some girls to the left giggled, and I realized that dirty minds just started a rumor. Poor Lucie. I didn’t intend to continue the farce with Elma any longer, either. I didn’t want to hide her. I wanted to brag to the world that we were together, and it was going to be official. I didn’t want any more false rumors about her. People were going to see a man treat her with the respect she deserved.

Lucie and I reached a table filled with books and papers, a laptop, and an explosion of pens that were spread everywhere. Before me sat a gorgeous woman, with chestnut hair and deep blue eyes which pierced me to the core, behind red framed glasses. Elma sucked the air out of me with her beauty, but this girl definitely took my breath away at first glance. She stared at me, a quizzical look on her face, while I gawked back at her.

“Sofie, this is the guy I was telling you about. The one that was asking about you,” Lucie said as way of introduction.

Sofie stiffened in her seat.

“Abel Callahan,” I said reaching across the table for her hand. She didn’t raise hers to shake mine. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at me. After an awkward moment, she blinked and methodically raised her hand to return my handshake. Her touch was delicate, instantly soothing. A strange sensation filled me at the connection. Sofie’s contact whispered comfort. It was my turn for confusion as we released hands.

I didn’t mention Cain. She didn’t ask about him, but surely she had to know who I was if she knew him. Whatever was between Sofie and Cain had to be one-sided, though, as she made no mention of him. She was definitely not the type to go for him. Honestly, she wasn’t the type he went for either. I couldn’t figure out what the attraction would be. Before me sat an intelligent woman in red glasses, who seemed soft while Cain was hard. I remembered he said she was going to medical school. She had the look of a future doctor. Her presence spoke,
Everything will be okay
. I’d never felt anything like it before.

“Nice to meet you,” she said. Even the tone of her voice was ease.

“Abel might need some help with the dreaded human anatomy project,” Lucie droned, rolling her eyes.

“Yikes, that project can be tough. Let Lucie know what you need or you can email me,” she said, scribbling her address on a piece of paper. Ripping it out of her notebook, she handed it to me. “I’d love to help out.” She was kind and good,
too good
. I couldn’t see how she would have anything to do with someone like Cain.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. Sofie’s eyes still held mine. It was as if she was waiting for me to say something more, but I was speechless.

“Well, I’ll let you ladies get back to work,” I said. I turned to Lucie, “And sorry about those girls near the stacks. There might be a rumor now that we were making out or something back there.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her in jest.

“That’s a rumor I wouldn’t mind,” she laughed softly, then turned bright red.

“Nice to meet you, Sofie,” I said with a wave before I turned to walk away. I hadn’t gotten too far away when I heard that kind tone mutter, “He’s charming, just like his brother.”

That night Elma sat on my bedroom floor amidst her own collection of markers, paper, and an open laptop. She looked comfortable in my space, and although I wasn’t one to share, I liked having her in my room. I’d had my own room as a kid and treasured the distance it allowed me from my family. It was my private chamber of peace and tranquility. It was also the place I could let out my own aggression without risk of retaliation. I’d fight my reflection in the mirror, berating myself for allowing Cain to take a beating for me.

Elma smiled up at me slowly, and the awkwardness of the night before dissipated. We went to bed quietly last night. She was turned away from me, and when I touched her back, she flinched. I was worried that she was having second thoughts about what we’d done and removed my hand. By morning she had scooted into me, and I encircled her like we’d done before. My body wanted her, but I didn’t rut against her like I had done when I’d embarrassed myself the first time. I pulled back before she woke and took relief in a shower.