Paper Hearts (32 page)

In her haste, Abigail hadn’t even questioned that Kelly had the right to kick her out on Jacob’s behalf, but of course Harriet had made sure that couldn’t happen. She’d been looking out for Abigail since day one; it was wrong of Abigail to assume she’d have stopped.

“Want me to take this over to the doctor right now?” Ursula asked. “You know I’ll give it to him along with a piece of my mind.”

“No, Ursula. I’ll do it.” Abigail looked at the legal document in her hand, and sorrow threaded its way through the fabric of her being. This was the answer to her prayers. She should be celebrating, but stealing Jacob’s second chance had never been her intention. Especially not now, given what she knew.

Doris and Ursula left her office, jabbering about being victorious or some such nonsense, but Gigi didn’t move.

Abigail looked at her across the desk.

“Are you sure this is really what you want?” Gigi’s face was kind and void of judgment. “I’m only asking because I want you to know that just because a solution seems to present itself doesn’t mean you have to take it.”

Abigail’s mouth had gone dry. “Doesn’t it? He lied to me, Gigi. About everything. He probably doesn’t even have feelings for me at all.”

But even as she said the words, Abigail doubted them. The way he looked at her
 
—like she was the only person in the world who mattered
 
—didn’t feel phony to her.

Gigi nodded in silence, but Abigail could see by the look on her face she had something else to say.

“Oh, come on, out with it.”

Gigi held her hands up. “I don’t want to overstep.”

The look Abigail shot her told the older woman she wasn’t buying it.

“I suppose I feel a bit responsible for your backward view on love and marriage.” Gigi shifted in her chair. “All you ever heard from us was the good.”

Abigail waved her off. “My parents showed me plenty of the bad, believe me.”

Gigi pressed her pink lips together. “I suppose that’s true. I do know how Teensy likes to pretend.”

It struck Abigail then how sad it was that everyone knew this about her mother, though Teensy thought she had them all fooled.

“But I’m talking about your great-great-grandparents.”

Abigail sighed. Not this again. “I know the story, Gigi. Epic love story. Modern-day fairy tale. The stuff of legend.”

“Yes, that’s what they say, isn’t it?” Gigi’s eyebrows held an expectancy in them.

“What are you saying?”

“That no love story is really that perfect, dear, and that’s why you’ve always been so disappointed.”

Abigail nodded. “But that’s what I’ve been saying all along.”

“No, you’re misunderstanding. It was an epic love story. A wonderfully romantic tale, but it wasn’t perfect. The story implies that John and Elsie abandoned everyone they knew and loved to set off together and go on a grand adventure.”

“Right. They defied everything to strike out on their own and do something wild and rebellious, but their love held them together. Even through sickness and drought and every bad thing that could’ve happened.”

Gigi paused.

“What is it, Gigi? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Somewhere along the way, people have forgotten that Elsie left your great-great-grandfather for a time.”

“What?” Abigail had never heard anything but tales of romance concerning her great-great-grandparents.

Gigi nodded. “Teensy may not even know the whole story, but I do. My own great-grandmother was there. She was Elsie’s very best friend in the world. And she left a journal behind when she died.”

“Saying what?”

“That Elsie was homesick. So very homesick. And when John decided to settle here, he didn’t consult with his wife. He’d planned to settle a town all along, but he never said a word to his wife until after they were married.”

“He just made the decision for her?”

Gigi gave a slight shrug. “In those days, that’s the way it was. But Elsie wasn’t the typical wife. She was stubborn and set in her ways and she wanted to go home.”

Abigail could imagine. That stubborn streak seemed to run in her family.

“So what happened?”

“She started traveling east but somewhere along the way discovered she was pregnant. That is the only reason she came back. She knew her parents would disown her if she tried to raise her baby without a father.”

Abigail sank into the chair. “She didn’t choose Loves Park?”

Gigi shook her head. “No, dear, Loves Park chose her.”

“I can’t believe it. That isn’t at all how the story goes. The story is that they were adventurers. They set out to build something together. Something amazing. Not that they were trapped by an unplanned pregnancy.”

“Don’t misunderstand, Abigail. They had a wonderful love story, but that’s because they chose to forgive. John forgave her for leaving. Elsie eventually forgave him for dragging her out here into the middle of the mountains to colonize a town. They became the very best of friends, and in the end, their story
was
like a fairy tale. But the very best love stories are the ones that are flawed and full of forgiveness and pain and joy and challenges and happiness. All these things make up a love story. What would’ve happened if Elsie had continued back home? What if she hadn’t forgiven John?”

Abigail understood the implications.

Gigi stood. “The choice is yours, dear. But perhaps it’s best to find out the whole story before you make any rash decisions. I’d hate for you to be walking away from your own epic love story just because you can’t find a way to forgive.”

Abigail’s gaze fell to her hands on the desk. Gigi had spoken the truth to her, but that didn’t mean she wanted to hear it.

It was easy to say she needed to forgive Jacob. Actually doing it was far more difficult.

Besides, how could she argue with the fact that God had answered her prayer and provided a way out of this mess? Nothing had to change. Everything could go back to the way it was. As she read the agreement between Harriet and her father one more
time, though, she couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in her gut that maybe, just maybe, that would be the biggest mistake of all. And that maybe the answer to her prayer would come in a different form entirely.

J
ACOB LEFT THE BUILDING
after his conversation with Abigail, his chest tight like it had been on the day he buried Gwen. How had this happened? He should’ve told Abigail everything from the start. He’d let her believe Gwen had simply walked out of their lives, something she could relate to. He’d stood in her store how many times, in the midst of those paper hearts, and never confessed to writing a single one. Maybe he hadn’t lied, but he’d left out a big part of the truth.

Now that she knew, she would never forgive him
 
—and why should she?

He still hadn’t forgiven himself.

He went home and changed into his running gear, checked on Junie and Kate, quickly examined the dog, who was still recovering on the back porch, and took off behind the house. The trails
were the only thing that could distract him from what a mess he’d made of everything.

Junie’s face flashed through his mind. He hated that he had let her down again. How would he ever break the news to her if they ended up having to move? And what now? It was only a matter of time before the rest of the town found out everything about Gwen
 
—and then what?

He ran higher and farther, pushing himself, pulse racing.
Nothing about this is fair. I thought you were going to protect us. I thought you were going to make sure my secret was safe.
He sprinted to the top of a hill as every nerve in his body screamed for him to stop. He didn’t. He just pushed forward.
Why can’t one single thing go the way it’s supposed to? Why have you forgotten me?

The lake came into view as the realization of what was really bothering him bubbled to the surface, then sat there, thick and murky like oil floating in water. He collapsed to his knees at the edge of the lake, the earth cold and damp underneath his hands. Anger rushed through his veins, unwanted but unstoppable.

Forgotten. That’s really how he felt, wasn’t it? Everything that had happened made him question the foundations of his beliefs.

His whole world was falling apart all over again
 
—for what?

He’d let his daughter down. Again. His only reason for moving in the first place, and he couldn’t even live up to his end of the bargain.

He’d seen the horror in Abigail’s eyes when he told her the truth. That he’d been
relieved
when Gwen died. Words he’d never spoken aloud until then. Words that tormented him in the darkest nights when he tossed and turned, when sleep eluded him.

Are you happy? I told her the truth. My secret is out, and everything is ruined.
“I was relieved!” His words echoed back to him over the stillness of the lake below him. “I’m so sorry, Gwen. I am so, so sorry.” The sobs came over him fast and furious, all the anger, the pain, the disappointment, the sorrow and regret rushing at him
like gale-force winds. Tears he’d refused to cry because he needed to be strong for Junie. Tears he’d bottled up because he didn’t deserve the relief of releasing his pain.

“I failed you, Gwen,” he whispered, covering his face with his hands. “Forgive me.”

Familiar guilt surrounded him, but for the first time, he felt an almost-tangible peace follow right behind.

Maybe I was never supposed to be the one to save Gwen.
The thought popped into his head without his permission. It contradicted everything he’d believed since the day he married her. He was her protector. He was supposed to save her.

He couldn’t have stopped her from making her own choices, though, could he?

His conflicted feelings about her death had haunted him for two years now, and he’d clung to his anger like a child tightly gripping a new toy.

But being mad at himself had gotten him nowhere. If he ever wanted to be the kind of father Junie needed
 
—if he had any hope of ever being happy again
 
—he had to let it go. He had to move on. He had to forgive himself, to let God forgive him.

It was time to live again. Behind him, he heard a rustling in the woods. He turned with a start, expecting to encounter a wild animal, but instead he saw the injured retriever limping toward him.

“What are you doing?” Adrenaline still raced through him as the dog slowly approached. She came right up to him, panting from the long trek uphill. She sniffed his face, her wet nose cold on his skin.

Jacob wiped his face dry with the sleeve of his sweatshirt and examined the dog’s bandages just to be sure she hadn’t done more damage following him up here. She barked, then sat beside him, seeming plenty strong.

“You’re a fighter, aren’t you, dog?”

She barked again but remained at his side as if she didn’t want to leave him. As if she knew he needed a friend right now.

He petted her head, staring out over the lake, wondering when everything had gone so wrong. Why had he thought keeping his secret would ever be an option anyway? He closed his eyes and saw the image of Abigail’s smile. Her brown eyes. Her perfect skin.

In that moment, he realized he didn’t want to keep anything from her. He wanted her to know everything about him
 
—the good and the bad.

Somehow, shining a light on that wretched secret, the ugliest part of him, set something inside him free and brought with it that peace he couldn’t explain. Abigail knew the whole truth. God hadn’t prevented her from finding out. Maybe there was a reason for that.

Jacob stood. “All right, dog. Let’s go home.”

The dog stood and followed him back toward the trail.

He jogged slowly, checking on her as they ran. She seemed intent on keeping his pace. As he watched her, he marveled at the way she moved, carefully but still forward. Always forward.

She made it look easy. But it wasn’t. Kate was right
 
—he’d been filling his days with busywork, but he’d been standing still.

When the house came into view, he saw Kate and Junie sitting on the back porch, waving at him.

“We wondered where she went,” Kate said. “After you left, she got really agitated, so I let her out, but she took off. I guess she missed you.”

Jacob petted the dog. “I guess so.”

“Can we bring her inside, Daddy?”

Jacob glanced at Kate, who wore the same expression as his daughter. The dog barked. “We can only bring her in if we figure out what to call her.” He looked at Junie. “Do you want to do the honors?”

Junie grinned. “I already know what to call her.”

“You’ve been thinking about this, have you?”

She nodded. “I want to name her Daisy. Because those are the happiest flowers.”

Jacob rubbed Daisy between the ears. “It’s a good thing you’re a girl dog, Daisy.”

Junie laughed.

Later that night, Jacob stood on the deck turning his phone over in his hand, clicking on Abigail’s name and then clearing it.

He wanted to talk to her, but what would he say?

Kate opened the door and joined him, pulling her sweater around her. “It’s freezing tonight.”

He hadn’t noticed.

“Why don’t you go talk to her?”

Jacob leaned his elbows on the railing of the deck and looked out across the lake. “And say what? She never wants to see me again.”

“I bet you’re wrong about that.”

He wished he were wrong about that.

“What are you going to do?”

Jacob shrugged. “Haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe move?”

Kate shook her head. “This is not unfixable. You just need to give her a chance to understand.”

Jacob didn’t respond. What could he possibly say? That he was too chicken to see that look in Abigail’s eyes again? That he couldn’t stand the thought that he’d not only successfully run her out of business, but now he was ruining her personal life too?

He did a quick online search on his phone and found the number for the one person who might be able to help him make this right.

He dialed, and when the woman answered, he nearly hung up. “Mrs. Pembrooke?”

“Who’s this?” Practically a growl.

“This is Dr. Jacob Willoughby. Are you still interested in buying my building?”