Authors: Monica Alexander
“I’m kidding!
Geez, my parents are home. We can save the skinny dipping until they’re out of town.”
“Are you serious?” he asked in disbelief, and I started laughing again, practically doubling over.
“No! God, you’re easy,” I said, shaking my head. I wasn’t exactly kidding, but he looked so shocked that I would suggest skinny dipping that I felt the need to pull back. Maybe we’d have to work up to that. “Just run home and grab your suit. It’s not like you live far away.”
He paused and his mouth curved into a smile. “Oh yeah. I could do that.”
“Yeah, totally. While you do that, I’ll get changed and meet you out back. You don’t have to come through the house, just walk around. The gate’s unlocked.”
He nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll be back in a few.”
“Don’t take long,” I said, winking at him as he walked past me.
He pinched my side, making me giggle and squirm, and then he shot me one of his smiles that I loved so much.
After he left, I quickly changed into my cobalt blue bikini that showed off my tan nicely and headed back downstairs, wanting to be in the water when he got back.
“Cassie?” my mother called
out to me when I passed by the family room, glad it didn’t overlook the pool. I didn’t want my parents to witness me swimming with Jared. Not that we were going to do anything inappropriate, but still. It would be awkward to feel like we were in a fishbowl, especially if I decided to make a move on him.
I poked my head back into the family room. “Yeah?”
“Did your friend leave?”
I shook my head. “He just went home to get his bathing suit. We’re going swimming.
He lives at the end of the block.”
“I thought he looked familiar,” she said, as she smacked my father on the arm. “Joel, I told you he looked familiar.”
“Yeah, you said that.”
“He seems like a nice boy
, and he’s really good looking,” she said, smiling at me, a hopeful look crossing her face.
“Mom, we’re just friends
,” I insisted, even though I was hoping that was going to change. “We work together, and we’re lab partners.”
“Okay,” she said,
quite obviously not believing me.
In truth, she would probably be thrilled to see me dating again. We’d talked about Will
the week before and how guilty I was feeling about possibly dating someone else, but she’d said the same thing that Marley had. Will would have wanted me to be happy. I couldn’t keep myself closed off forever. It wasn’t healthy. And I was trying to wrap my head around that concept.
There were so many times when I could see myself with someone else, someone like Jared, but then reality would crash over me like a wave and the guilt would make me feel shitty all over again. I knew it would be
harder to act on that idea than it was to think it, but maybe I just needed to jump in with both feet and see what happened. I’d have to move on eventually, and it would probably never be easy. Maybe I could try ripping off the bandage.
The pool was warm when I slipped into it and let the water wash over me. I sunk as deep as I could go while still keeping my head above the water and keeping my hair dry. My muscles that were sore from being on my feet for eight hours started to unwind as I relaxed against the side and let my head drop back onto the deck. I closed my eyes and felt myself starting to drift asleep when a noise had me raising
my head again.
Standing at the edge of one of
the lounge chairs, wearing navy, red and white striped board shorts, was Jared. I hadn’t even heard him approaching. I watched him tug his navy blue t-shirt over his head and drop it on the chair, treating my eyes to the beautiful sight that was his naked torso. It was pretty much as perfect as I’d been imagining in my head all these weeks, and the sight of it made my heart start to pound.
Holy shit, he was beautiful.
I knew how often he worked out and how dedicated he was to the gym, but never in a million years had I known just how perfect his body was. He’d told me the story of how he’d started working out with Austin, helping him get into shape, and then somewhere along the way he’d started to build muscle. He was still slight with slim hips, but the definition in his body was clear. I wasn’t sure if there was an ounce of fat on him.
I was practically drooling by the time he turned toward the pool and caught me
staring. He caught my gaze for a second before he dove in. He broke the surface right in front of me with a splash that sprayed my face with water. Then he shook the water off of his dark hair and smiled at me.
“This feels amazing.”
“I do this a lot after work,” I said as he swam over to me.
He
stopped a foot away. “I never use the pool at home even though it’s literally outside my doorstep.”
“Well
, you should. Or you’re welcome to use ours anytime you want.”
He came close
r to me. “I just might take you up on that.”
He was flirting again, dammit. He had to be interested in more
.
My heart started to pound
again, and I felt heat flood my cheeks as I realized how much I wanted him to kiss me. Just his proximity and his half-nakedness had me practically panting. Water droplets dripped from his hair, falling onto his bare, tanned and toned shoulders. I suddenly wanted to run my hands over his biceps to feel the hardness of his muscles.
“
Why are you staring at me?” he asked self-consciously, when a few seconds had passed and I realized my eyes were glued to his pecs, my mouth slightly open.
I l
ooked up as my face flushed red. “You have a really good body,” I said honestly, and I watched his cheeks color, still able to see them even though dusk was slowly turning into night.
It was like we were two fifteen year-old kids who got embarrassed at the very mention of sex. He crossed his arms over his chest as if to shield me from looking at him, which was so weird. Most guys who looked like him liked to flaunt what they
’d worked so hard to achieve. It was like he didn’t see what the outside world saw. In his eyes he was still the scrawny, shy, self-conscious guy he’d been two years ago.
“Don’t hide,” I said, as I
stood up straighter and closed the distance between us, wondering what he’d do if I kissed him.
I was less than a foot from him, but our bodies weren’t touching. I knew I had to go slow. Jared was
so reserved. He didn’t make bold moves like the guys I’d dated in the past. He wasn’t like anyone I’d ever known before, and maybe that was why I liked him so much.
As
I reached up and ran my fingers through his dark, wet locks, he let his arms fall to his sides, almost as if he couldn’t hold them there any longer.
“What are you doing?” he asked softly.
I cocked my head at him. “What would you do if I said I wanted to kiss you?”
It looked like his breath hitched for a second, but I couldn’t be sure. “I’d
tell you that my best friend likes you, so it wouldn’t be the best idea.”
So that was why he’d been holding back. It made sense now. I knew I hadn’t imagined him flirting with me.
I moved closer to him. “I know how Scott feels about me, but I don’t feel the same way. You know that. He doesn’t make my heart race like you do.”
Jared swallowed. Damn,
his throat was so sexy when he did that. “I make your heart race?” he asked softly.
I
nodded. “Yeah, you do. Here, feel.”
I took his h
and and moved it over my heart, so he could feel it racing. It picked up even faster when his hand touched my bare skin, right above my breast. He tried to tug it away, but I wouldn’t let him.
“Do you want to kiss me, Jared?”
I asked him pointedly.
“Yes,” he said
, the word coming out on a breath as his eyes shifted up to look into mine. The intensity I found in them was so incredibly sexy. “But I can’t.”
Damn, that was
frustrating to hear. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. I also wasn’t sure I could take no for an answer.
“Why not?” I asked, my hand tightening around his wrist
, holding his hand against my skin.
His fingers brushed the paper airplane charm Will had given me, and I tried to ignore the tug in my stomach that told me to pull away. I had to rip off the bandage. I had to do this. I couldn’t stay stagnant. Will was gone. He wasn’t coming back, and if I held onto him any longer, I was going to lose it.
“Because of Scott,” Jared said.
“Scott’s not here,” I reminded him.
I couldn’t believe I was saying that. I’d seen Scott’s face when he thought Jared and I were on a date at lunch a few weeks back. He’d be so upset if he knew what we were doing, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. But it didn’t change the fact that all I could think about was kissing Jared.
Jared
sighed. “He’s my best friend. It would kill him to know how I feel about you.”
“
How do you feel about me?” I asked, as my heart started pulsing faster, so I released my grip on his wrist.
“I like you, Cassie,” he said, his
hand sliding down to loop around my waist as he pulled me closer so my body was flush against his. “I like you a lot – so much more than I should.”
“I like you too, Jared. A lot.”
He swallowed and looked away, but he didn’t release me. He sighed, letting out a breath, long and slow.
“I was hoping you’d say that,
” he said, shaking his head. “For weeks I’ve been hoping you felt the same way, but another part of me wanted you to tell me you just wanted to be friends.”
He stepped back from me then, but his hand still rested on my lower back.
“Why?” I asked, not understanding why he would want me to reject him.
He wouldn’t look at me, so I rested my hand on his cheek and turned h
is head so he was facing at me again.
He looked down at me with his beautiful blue eyes. “Because I can’t act on how I feel – at least not until I talk to Scott.”
I felt my heart sink. “Can’t you tell him after?” I asked, moving closer, ready to close the distance between us again. “You don’t have to tell him anything happened between us.”
“Don’t,” Jared said begrudgingly when he realized what I was doing.
Then he released me and backed away, putting several feet between us. He ran a hand back through his hair and growled in frustration, sounding completely adorable and sexy, and making me laugh. If he was attempting to push me away, he was hardy succeeding if he was going to make sounds like that.
He looked at me in surprise when he heard me laughing. “This isn’t funny. Why are you laughing?”
I covered my mouth with my hand. “I’m sorry. You were so cute just now. I couldn’t help it.”
“Cute?” he questioned, his mouth twisting into an amused smirk. “You think I’m cute?”
“Of course,” I said as I swam over to him and slid my legs around his waist before he could stop me.
The hardness I was met with caught me off-guard but only
served to excite me more. I could tell he was fighting so strongly against something he wanted so bad. He wanted it as much as I did.
“Cassie,” he groaned, whic
h of course only made me want him more.
I looped my arms around his neck. “Yes, I think you’re cute, Jared. In fact, I think you’re incredibly hot and sexy, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for weeks now.”
His breaths were coming in short and shallow bursts. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why that’s so hard for you to believe.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t even look twice at me in high school, and now you’re telling me you think I’m hot and want to kiss me? Forgive me if that throws me for a loop.”
I reached up and cupped his face with my hand. “
You know I think you’re hot. I told you that the first day you trained me. And high school was a long time ago. You should look in a mirror every now and then. You’re not the same guy you used to be. You grew up to be hot, Jared Lansing.”
“And the Homecoming Queen wants to kiss me.”
“She wants to do more than kiss you,” I told him.
“Jesus,” he hissed, shaking his head. I could tell he was fighting a huge internal war with himself.
I wished he’d just give in already. We both wanted this.
“But I’m also not the Homecoming Queen anymore. I’m just Cassie. I’m just a girl who found a boy that she’d like to kiss because he’s sweet and kind-hearted and
beautiful inside and out,” I said, as Jared let his forehead drop against mine.
“
Dammit. You’re killing me. This is literally killing me – especially when you say things like that.”
“
Kiss me already,” I urged him. “We both want this.”
He closed his eyes, and it looked like I was going to get what I wanted until he opened them and shook his head. “I can’t,” he said, shaking his head once more. “I can’t do that to Scott.”