Over (19 page)

A pressing weight pushed against her on all sides. She needed to get out of the house even though it was probably going to be awkward around Rusty after having kissed him. Looking at Chad, she knew she should feel guilty about it, but she didn't need any more guilt in her life. If anything, he had pushed her away—right to Rusty.

Alyssa looked around the hall, everything reminding her of Macy. There was no way she could stay there and move on with so many memories. Maybe she could come back after she had a chance to heal—if that ever happened. Could she get to the place where Rusty was? He was functioning and living a productive life in the same house that his family had lived in.

Chad looked at her. "Are you thinking about staying?"

"No. Maybe if we were on the same page, but even then, I don't know. It would be a start, at least." She yanked on the suitcase and went down the stairs with it. Somehow she managed to get it in the car without any tears or arguments.

As she drove away, the suffocation released its hold. It let go all the more as she got farther away. By the time she pulled back into Rusty's driveway, she felt human again. The tow truck was gone, which meant that he wasn't there. After the earlier embarrassment, it was a relief.

She obviously needed some space from him to think about everything. Getting away to talk with Alex the next day would help also. Exhaustion hit her and she was glad to be able to go in and just sleep. She took the key out of the ignition and then checked for the key Rusty had given her.

When she got inside, she went straight for the guest room and barely took the time to get into her pajamas before climbing into bed. She had another conversation with Macy, explaining why she had to stay at Rusty's instead of at home. Macy would understand.

Then Alyssa remembered to plug in her phone. She turned it on and scrolled through the missed calls and texts. There were quite a few from Alex and Chad over the last couple of days.

She went over to the gallery of pictures and the one it opened up to—the last one she had taken—was Macy smiling at her. She was holding Ducky. It was shortly after Macy had gotten the little black and white ferret. Smiling, Alyssa scrolled through the pictures, stopping at each one of Macy.

Some of them she couldn't even remember taking. It was like seeing them for the first time. It was a gift from Macy just when she needed it most. Alyssa scrolled through the pictures until her vision was too blurry. She blinked away the tears, turned the phone on silent, and went to sleep.

Demands

Chad woke with a start, having rolled onto Alyssa's empty side of the bed.

They had been getting along so well over the last few months, it was still a shock to have her gone, mad at him. As much as he wanted to her to stay, he wasn't going to give in and have a memorial service for their daughter who was still alive. He couldn't explain it, and that was part of the problem, but he had a feeling that Macy was alive out there somewhere.

It was a feeling that he had learned not to ignore. It was actually the same one that he had had when he met Alyssa back in high school. He knew she was the one. Even though he was young—about Macy's age, maybe a little older; it was hard to remember the little details over twenty years later—he knew without a doubt that Alyssa was the girl for him. He
knew
they were going to get married and have a family together.

He had been right about that, and he was right about this too. That meant that even though it upset Alyssa, he wasn't going to give in and admit defeat. If somehow the DNA results showed that the girl in the morgue was his daughter, then he would have to give in and face those facts, but he knew that wouldn't happen.

Why was it taking so long to get those results? After nearly four months, he would have expected something. With technology as it was, they should have been able to get what they needed.

Chad rolled to the other side of the bed and checked his phone. Alyssa hadn't called. Hopefully that meant she had spent the evening talking with Sharon and gotten some much-needed sleep.

He needed to get up and check the blog comments and write a new post, but he knew he wasn't in any state of mind to focus on that. It would be half-hearted at best and he couldn't do that. If he had to get a late start, so be it.

What he needed to do was go down to the police station—not just call—and pester them until he got answers that he could live with. He had been patient long enough. Now it was time to put pressure on them.

Maybe that was the problem. He had just done everything the cops told them to do. Now it was time to say no.

He took a quick shower before heading to the kitchen. It startled him to see Alex and Zoey sitting at the table. They were eating cold cereal and had their school work out.

"Up so early?"

"My appointment is today," Zoey said.

"Oh, right. It's hard to believe you'll already find out the sex. What do you guys think it'll be?"

Alex looked up, pale.

Zoey shrugged her shoulders, taking a bite of rainbow-colored food.

"No ideas? I thought the moms always had a feeling."

"Not me."

Chad stared at Alex. "You okay, son?"

Alex sat up. "I'm great, Dad. Couldn't be better."

"Hey, I need to show you something." He turned to Zoey. "Mind if I borrow him for a minute?"

"Sure. I gotta get this assignment turned in before we go anyway." She turned to her laptop.

"Perfect. Come on, Alex." Chad went upstairs to the bonus room and sat on the couch.

Alex sat next to him. "What do you need to show me in here?"

"Nothing. I just want to talk to you alone."

"What is it? I have homework to turn in too."

"I want to make sure you're okay."

"I told you down there. I'm fine."

Chad tilted his head and gave Alex a knowing look, the same look his own dad used to give him when he was alive.

Alex scowled. "Okay. I'm not fine. I feel like I'm going to puke. Happy?"

"Of course not. Is there anything I can do?"

"Like what?"

Good question. Alyssa was always the one who knew what to do when it came to the kids. "Do you want me to go with you to the appointment? I can skip my blog post today."

"You would do that for me?"

He put his hand on Alex's shoulder. "Of course."

Alex gave him a strange look. "Thanks, but I'm going with Zoey and her mom."

Chad sighed, relieved. Seeing an ultrasound was too much reality for him. Maybe that was giving Alex anxiety. "Are you worried about seeing the baby?"

Alex looked away. "I dunno."

"I'll never forget when I first saw your sister and you on the screen. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time."

"Really?" Alex turned to him, looking somewhat relieved himself. "You felt that way? Both times?"

Chad nodded.

"But weren't you ready for it the second time?"

"Nope. Both times, it freaked me out. I can't tell you how scared I was that I would be in charge of someone's life. I kept a calm face for your mom because she needed my support, but inside I was freaking out."

"How did you deal with it?"

"I went out with the guys and had some beer. Obviously, you can't do that, but we can have some guy time tonight. We could hit the arcade."

Alex looked like he was considering it. "If you'll buy me the unlimited pass."

That was expensive and he had always told Alex he could get the pass one day. "Sure. Today's the day I get it for you. We'll play until you don't want to see another video game again."

"Or until they close."

"Whichever comes first."

"Deal. Thanks, Dad." Alex gave him a hug, surprising Chad.

He hugged Alex back. "My pleasure. I've got some errands to take care of today, so if I'm not here when you get back, I won't be long."

"Okay." Alex left the room.

Chad couldn't help smiling. He had actually handled that pretty well. Alyssa would have been proud, even though she wouldn't have liked Alex playing arcade games for hours on end. The kid deserved it. Chad remembered the stress and reality that those sonograms brought. He couldn't begin to imagine dealing with it at thirteen.

Besides, Alyssa wasn't even there. If she wanted to be involved in these decisions, she shouldn't have run off to her friend's place.

His stomach rumbled and he went back downstairs. The kids were busy on their computers, so he didn't bother them. He grabbed some frozen pancakes and stuck them in the microwave. After eating, he said a quick goodbye and then got in the car, thinking about what he would say to the cops.

Their shifts varied, so he didn't even know if he would be able to talk to the ones he had been working with since Macy disappeared. Even if they were off duty, he would put some pressure on whoever was there.

Chad marched into the station like he belonged there. He ignored the people sitting in the waiting room and walked straight to the front desk.

"Is Detective Fleshman here?"

"He's off duty. Can I help you?"

"How about Officers Anderson or Reynolds?"

"I believe Officer Reynolds is still here. He had a bunch of paperwork after his last—wait a minute. You are?"

"Chad Mercer. They're working with me on the case of my missing daughter."

Recognition washed over his face. "Oh, right. They're still looking for her?"

Chad could hear hushed conversation behind him. "Yes, of course. Will you tell Reynolds that I need to speak with him?"

"Have a seat."

"I'll just stand here." Chad stepped back, keeping watch on the desk.

"Whatever. I'll let him know you're here." The officer got up and disappeared behind a wall.

Chad pulled out his phone and scrolled through his apps, pretending to be involved in a texting conversation. He was all too aware of the stares and whispers. Unfortunately, it had become a regular part of life outside the house. Couldn't people understand he was just a regular guy who happened to have a missing daughter? He was normal, just like them, except for the fact that his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on while the world watched.

"Reynolds will see you. You know where room six is?"

Chad put his phone in his pocket and nodded. He knew where the rooms were and he could find number six since they were all labeled. He went around the desk and down the hall. He would have been happy to have gone his whole life without ever seeing those walls.

He found door number six and went in. It was empty. He paced back and forth before walking around the table several times. He was more than aware of the
mirror
on the back wall. He was tempted to wave or make a face at whoever might be watching him. Didn't they have rooms without the two-way mirrors for non-criminals?

Tired of walking around, he pulled a chair out and sat down. After a few minutes, Officer Reynolds walked in, wearing his signature hat. "Hey, Chad. I hope you weren't waiting too long. Paperwork is my least favorite part of the job."

"What's going on with the DNA testing?"

"They've yet to get a viable sample." Reynolds sat across from Chad.

"I know that much. What is anyone doing to get one?"

"If the latest test yields nothing, they're going to send her out of state to a more sophisticated lab."

"I knew that, too. More needs to be done. Since they've had such a challenging time getting a good sample, why don't they take more? Run five at a time. Do something."

Reynolds set his hat on the table and looked into Chad's eyes. "We're doing all we can. There are other cases and they can't be ignored."

"Is Macy's case getting pushed back?"

"No. If it wasn't important, they would drop it. It's still a missing child case and that's why it's going outside of the state after this. Macy is still a priority."

"I just want to make sure."

"We haven't moved on."

Chad narrowed his eyes. "I still say more needs to be done."

Meeting

Zoey paced her room, looking out the window every five seconds. Despite all of her protests, she was about to meet her dad—no, her sperm donor. That's all he was. Nothing more. She would take a look into his eyes and see where she got the majority of her looks. She did look like her mom, not that anyone ever noticed because of her coloring.

She looked out the window again. Where were they? Her mom had texted her that they were on their way. Maybe there was traffic. Hopefully they were arguing. That way her mom would make him stay somewhere else.

How dare she invite him to live with them? Neither one of them knew the man. Sure, she had slept with him for a while. Maybe she had even wanted to get pregnant. She always prided herself on being a strong single mom and she knew he was going back to Japan.

Maybe Zoey's anger had been misplaced. Her mom might have been the one who had decided that Zoey didn't need a dad. Who was she to decide that? Just because she didn't want to deal with a husband, and that was incredibly selfish.