Outpost (21 page)

“Leave me alone,” I warned him. “It’s out of respect for Longshot that I’m not killing you, but if you trouble me again, I
will,
and that’s a promise.”

When I eased back, he scrambled to his feet. “This isn’t over.”

“Yes, it is.” I didn’t do him the honor of watching him walk away. That would imply I thought he was worthy of my wariness.

“Why do you think he’s so mad at you?” Frank asked.

“Some people just need somebody to blame.”
But it was deeper than that for Miles,
I thought. He was likely one of those men who couldn’t stand for a female to do anything besides cook his food and lie down for his pleasure. If he had a partner back in Salvation, she had my sympathies.

Fade put his hand on my shoulder, dropping down beside me. It was funny, because Frank immediately felt the need to be elsewhere. I supposed Fade had made it clear how he felt about me when he first defended me from Miles. His face tightened with chagrin that he hadn’t been here to threaten the guy again.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, absolving him. “I can handle myself.”

“Miles is going to be a problem for you,” he said.

I nodded. “I don’t think it’s going away. It would be best if Longshot replaced him, but that would send the message that giving me a hard time gets a man posted back to Salvation.”

He set his hand on my thigh, consciously erasing the memory of Miles’s greasy fingers on my leg. I didn’t mind. Fade had the right to touch me. But he drew his hand back before anyone could remark on the familiarity and then come at me later with evil insinuations.

“Any ideas on how to discourage him?” he asked.

I had lots of them, all unpleasant. “I might have to kill him.”

That made him smile. “Short of that.”

“I prefer the killing,” I muttered.

“Me too. But it might be bad for morale.” He considered for a moment, and then slid me a sidelong glance. “We could deliver him as a gift to the Freak village.”

“Tempting. What were you saying to Stalker earlier?”

He froze, dark eyes flickering guiltily to his plate. “You noticed that?”

“The whole camp did.” I nudged him with a gentle elbow. “Come on, tell me.”

“I might’ve mentioned that he needs to stop staring at you like a hungry wolf.”

I slid Fade a sidelong look. “Isn’t it enough that
I
gave you exclusive kissing rights? What does it matter how he looks at me?”

Color touched the tops of his sculpted cheekbones, and my fingers itched with the impulse to smooth his raven hair away from his forehead. “When you put it that way…” Fade leaned close to whisper, “I’m dying to be alone with you.”

At his words, an ache sprang up—and I almost touched my lips in memory. I wished we’d stolen a moment the night before, but Stalker had been there, and I couldn’t feel right about flinging our closeness in his face, especially when he craved that connection with me himself. Rejection didn’t mean rubbing salt in the wound.

My body felt like it could light the whole outpost with anticipation. “We’ll be in Salvation next week. Not on duty.”

His answering smile said he couldn’t wait.

Furlough

A week trickled by in relative quiet, though I sensed trouble brewing from Gary Miles. He had a small, bitter crew who watched me as I went on patrol. They never crossed any lines so I could report them to Longshot, but they made it clear we were enemies. Stupid. We didn’t need trouble at the outpost; Salvation already had more than it could handle. To reassure myself, I touched the bloodstained card I kept in my pocket at all times. As long as it was intact, nothing truly dreadful could happen to me. That was enclave lore. Unfortunately, I didn’t know if I believed it anymore.

If we put faith in anything down below, it was in the power of a naming token. My foster mother would say it held something of our souls … but that was a confusing thought. Stalker—and all of the folks in Salvation—lacked such an item, so did that mean they were soulless or just unprotected? Maybe it was nonsense, something the Wordkeepers thought up a long time ago.

The first team went on furlough without incident, two by two. Then our squad took a vote and decreed Fade and I should go together for the first holiday. At first it seemed too good to be true, and if I hadn’t been so excited, I might’ve been embarrassed, as the vote led to ribbing from Frank and Hobbs as well as a sullen growl from Stalker. To my mind, it had been wise of Longshot to draw for each squad, and then let them decide who went on leave in what order. That move offered the sense of having some control over their lives. He might not think he was a natural leader of men, but from where I sat, he was doing a fine job.

Before we left, Longshot paid us our due. This was the first time I’d earned any tokens of my own, but as a guard, I received a small stipend in return for my work, as he’d promised earlier. These small bits of wood could be traded for goods and services in town. Holding them made me feel more powerful.

Fade and I set out for Salvation after the last of the first crew returned, carrying letters and treats from families in town. There was some risk in this because the Freaks might decide to pick us off, but we could move fast, and if necessary, sprint for the gates if threatened with a battle we couldn’t win. He set a bruising clip, reminiscent of our run to Nassau.

“Do you think the Oakses will put me up again?” he asked as we ran.

I breathed through my nose, pacing myself so as not to become winded. “She said you’re welcome anytime.”

“Sometimes that’s just what people say.”

“Momma Oaks isn’t like that. Neither is Edmund.”

He nodded. “I didn’t think so, but you know them better.”

Branches and leaves crackled, the movement seeming to keep pace with us. Attention drawn, I focused on our surroundings. “Do you hear that?”

“Something’s following us.”

Both of us knew what it must be. The only question was how many … and would they strike before we reached safety? Even if the ones we’d spotted in the village weren’t the
best
fighters, it didn’t mean they couldn’t attack. They might take the opportunity to target easy prey. If they hit us, it certainly revealed a particular, calculating intelligence. It meant they watched and gauged their assaults according to our behavior. Terrifying thought. Life had been difficult enough when they acted like mindless monsters.

Fade pressed into a flat sprint, and I flew beside him. He had the longer stride, but I was small and quick. I’d seldom had the chance to run like this down below. The sounds grew distant, as—whatever—chose not to leave the shelter of the forest. Instead, I sensed the weight of its hungry eyes, tracing our progress and promising itself,
next time.

When we hit the gates, Fade called, “Open up, quickly. It’s clear for now.”

The guard took the time to scan the ground behind us, and then complied. We ducked through the narrow opening, and they slammed the heavy doors. The wood beam fell back into place; ever since the Freaks had tried to breach the entry, it appeared the guards used the reinforcement all the time. I didn’t blame them.

Carefully cut grass and small meticulous gardens and flower beds made it seem like nothing bad could ever happen here. The buildings gleamed with fresh coats of whitewash; everything was under control. Since I’d been in the field, even the people looked cleaner and more wholesome. Girls walked in their long, pretty dresses, hems untouched by dust. Men removed their hats when ladies passed.

It felt like much longer since I’d been here, as if living with Edmund and Momma Oaks belonged to some other me; just as the one who lived down below was someone else, so many versions of the girl I glimpsed in the mirror. I felt grown, enough not to need to attend Mrs. James’s stupid school, but maybe I wasn’t the person I might become yet either. Perhaps that was the point; life, if you did it right, meant learning and changing. If you didn’t, you died—or stopped growing—which amounted to more or less the same thing. So I would slide in and out of different roles until I discovered the one that fit me best.

As I studied it, I realized the town looked somewhat different. Fresh flowers adorned tables set up nearby, pretty white blossoms like the ones I had noticed on the way to the fields. Colored ribbons hung from businesses near the green, and music played, a sweet and cheerful tune. A number of men and women fiddled with their instruments, laughing with the ease of those who didn’t worry about monsters eating them. I glanced at Fade, who shrugged. He didn’t know what was going on either.

“Is there a party?” I asked a guard, remembering Justine’s birthday.

“Kind of,” he answered. “It’s the Cherry Blossom festival. It’s how we celebrate the arrival of spring every year.”

“What does that mean?”

The man scratched his head. “Well, there’s a dance tonight on the green. There will be food and drink. It’s a chance for folks to show they’re grateful that the cold weather is gone for a while.”

“Sounds like fun,” Fade said. “Thanks.”

“What’s a dance?” I didn’t ask until the guard moved off, but Fade wouldn’t mock me.

To my astonishment, he grabbed one of my hands and put his other on my waist. “Follow me.” There, by the front gate, he spun me in a circle, his feet moving in time to the music.

When we stopped, I was breathless and laughing. “How did you know?”

“I used to dance with my mom.”

That sounded like a good memory. For the first time, I wondered if my dam had been a kind girl and if she’d liked the boy who sired me. Occasionally, two Breeders grew close and petitioned for permission to create offspring together. Such cases were monitored closely to be sure there was no unnecessary contact after a successful pregnancy occurred. So there was a faint chance I had been born of affection. My existence might also have sprung from a breeding assigned by the elders. Fade’s parents had chosen each other, I knew, and they’d produced an excellent son.

He was watching my face, trying to decide what I was thinking. Offering a half-smile, I gave him no clue. “Yes?”

“Would you dance with me tonight?”

“I’d love to. But if we’re going to celebrate with the rest of the town,” I decided aloud, “then we should go wash up.”

“I’d like to see you in a dress again … and with your hair down.”

Considering what we’d been through together, his words shouldn’t have made me feel shy. Inexplicably, they did. Perhaps because he meant to spend the evening with Deuce the girl, not Deuce the Huntress, and I didn’t know my feminine side very well. In fact, before Fade and his kisses, I’d have said there was little connection.

Abashed, I went in silence through the town, admiring the decorations on the green. I had no doubt it would be pretty when they finished. A couple of girls from school—Merry and Hannah—waved madly when they spotted Fade and me. I stopped long enough to be polite.

“Is it terrifying out there?” Hannah wanted to know.

“Sometimes.”

We chatted for a time, then they needed to return to work. Fade and I walked on to the Oakses’ place, which smelled of fresh baked bread through the open windows. My stomach growled.

Momma Oaks met us at the front door and grabbed me up in a rib-crushing embrace. Tears shone in her eyes, but since she was smiling, I figured she was happy. Like the first time we turned up, filthy, at her door, she hollered to Edmund to come and see, but this time he greeted me with a hug, and a wrinkle of his nose. Spot washing didn’t do laundry or remedy all hygienic challenges.

“I’ll see about filling the tubs,” he murmured. “How’re those boots working out for you?”

“They’re perfect,” I said truthfully. “I love them.”

Fade copied the salute Longshot often used. “Mine as well, sir. They’re fantastic. I’ve never had anything so nice.”

Edmund’s eyes crinkled into a smile. “That’s fine. What about the other boy?”

“Stalker,” I reminded him. “He said to pass along his gratitude as well. He’ll probably come by on his furlough to thank you in person.”

“Least I could do while you’re fighting for Salvation.”

Fade cleared his throat, drawing my attention, but he was focused on my foster father, his arms loose and nervous at his sides. “Sir, I need your permission to walk out with Deuce. My intentions are honorable.”

What?
Tegan had mentioned this to me in passing, but I wasn’t even sure what “intentions” entailed.

Before I could get a word out, Edmund nodded. “It’s good of you to ask. And granted.” With that, my foster father headed for the kitchen to get started on our baths.

“How long can you stay?” Momma Oaks came into the room looking as if she’d happily keep us forever.

“Just until this time tomorrow. We get twenty-four hours’ leave.”

“Better than nothing,” Edmund called, pumping water.

The older woman nodded. “True. And at least you won’t miss the spring festival. It’s my favorite time, and heaven knows we could use the cheer.”

I agreed. It was important to keep people’s spirits up during dark patches. Otherwise panic set in faster if the worst occurred. Not that I wanted to discuss that—or think about it—right now. Fade and I deserved to be lighthearted before we returned to endless dread.

“Come in here and help me, boy!”

With a bemused glance, Fade went into the kitchen. Momma Oaks hugged me again and then stood gazing at me at arm’s length as if she couldn’t believe I’d come back safely.

This time, anyway.

“Do you miss your children?” I asked.

“Only the one I lost. Rex comes to see us when he can.” Her tone belied the easy words, reflecting the tension I’d noticed before.

Rex hadn’t come for dinner even once in the months I’d fostered with the Oakses, but I didn’t disrespect her by saying so. If I had a real mother like Momma Oaks, I’d treat her kindly and bring my family to eat her cooking every chance I got. But folks took for granted their blessings and often didn’t appreciate them until it was too late to offer thanks.

“You had two boys?”

She nodded. “I always wanted a daughter, though.” Smiling at me, she added briskly, “And now I have one, so it’s all to the good. What are you wearing tonight?”