Outing of the Heart (96 page)

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Authors: Lisa Ann Harper

BOOK: Outing of the Heart
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‘I will always love you,' she sobbed into her shoulder, her voice so low and tremulous Ten could barely make out the words. Their sentiment sent thrills of pleasure through her and she clasped Sid more tenderly to her bosom, cherishing her as she would a babe. A warmth of happiness enveloped her; a joy so rare, she too, could have wept with the sharpness of it. Whilst Sid lay dazed and exhausted, Ten held her head between her breasts and caressingly played her fingers through her hair. Then she moved slightly and began to kiss Sid's tears away.
‘Sleep now, my precious, that alarm will ring only too soon,' Ten crooned soothingly. She reached out to turn off the remaining lamp and settled herself more comfortably about Sid. They drifted off into a dreamless sleep; their bodies languid and replete. Thus passed the lovers' first night in their new home.
CHAPTER 15
Sid rushed in with the freshness of the outdoors surrounding her, waving an envelope and letter in her right hand which she'd obviously just finished reading. ‘It's arrived.'
It was Saturday morning and Ten, clad in old jeans and blue checked shirt, was just finishing cleaning up the previous night's supper things. She tilted her cheek for Sid's kiss, hands still in dishwater, as Sid circled her waist and gave her a big hug. Her cane was hooked over the edge of the counter, but her left ankle was no longer in a cast. For the past week she had gradually been getting used to a heel-toe gait. It was difficult after so long in the support of a cast, but she was determined to persevere and get her heel down properly. Unfortunately, the tendon attachment to the heel itself was now suffering from severe irritation, necessitating the use of painkillers. Apart from that, she was thrilled to be properly on two feet. She had been warned, coming out of the protection of the plaster wasn't going to be easy, no matter how eagerly the event had been anticipated.
Returning from work Sid had gone to check the mailbox before coming in. A cool breeze, gently blowing from the northeast, was giving intimation of rain to come, but for now the sky was a watery blue-grey and scudded with clouds. The season was on the change. Fall was in the air.
Sid loved this time of year when mornings and evenings were once more cool and refreshing, but the heat of the day preserved the illusion that summer was still with them. The horses too, were different in the fall. The sharp bite to the morning air gave them a zest for running which was unmistakable. When she gave the exercise rider a leg-up, the thoroughbred would kink up its tail and snort like some mythical beast, preparing to meet its foe. Once collected together on the track, the horses would tear off, pounding along the rails to veer round into the straight away, egging each other on in their sheer enjoyment of the chill breeze, carrying with it intriguing smells. In the golden sunlight, their delight in their own speed and agility was a pleasure to the eye.
A fitful sunshine came and went shyly through the clouds that day, touching the tops of the Maples as if to point out the changing colors of the leaves especially for her notice. As yet, the leaves were still on the branches, although she didn't mind the chore of raking and sweeping to keep the yard tidy. She did regret, however, that it meant winter would not be long away. Skiing didn't number amongst her pastimes.
She dropped the letter on the counter beside the cane then grabbed a Seven-Up from the fridge. Holding up the bottle she cocked an enquiring eyebrow: ‘You?'
‘Mm..m, please.'
While organizing the drinks, she continued to elaborate. ‘My acceptance for Guelph University has come through and my grant application has been approved.' At the table she sat, the letter in front of her and began reading out bits. ‘First semester begins September 14th. I'm to be there some time next week to settle into the residence and for freshman orientation.'
Ten dried her hands and joined her. She observed how her face glowed with happiness and excitement. She was looking extremely attractive today, although just wearing her old shorts and a pale lemon cotton shirt, now faded from so many launders. Her hair shone with quicksilver brilliance in the sunlight slanting through the big window and her unblemished skin glowed with a healthy radiance. She looked up as Ten moved over to drop a kiss on the top of her golden head, her hair smelling ‘as fresh as all outdoors'.
Sid's delight at the prospect of at last starting on the training for her life's profession was electric. For so long it had seemed this moment would never come and now … at last, it was here. She passed the official communication over as Ten took her place in the other chair. She read the print rapidly, eyes scanning, heart sinking, mind racing ahead. Not long now and Sid would be moving out of their lovely home. She would be once more on her own. She had enjoyed her solitariness before, but life with Sid had changed all that. How would she cope? Although Sid sat right beside her, she felt a piercing stab at the thought of separation and suddenly, the loss of Sid was like a physical pain, gripping her in a severe demise.
“This is foolishness,”
she chided,
“you're a big girl.”
Composing herself she returned the letter saying: ‘At last your waiting is over, darling. I had every confidence you'd get in. You have all the requisite marks for your pre-veterinarian courses. And anyway,' she added, a sparkle of mischief now in her dark eyes: ‘How could they turn down someone as wonderful as you?' She leaned forward and threw her arms about Sid's neck, giving her a fervent kiss. The depth of feeling behind this embrace was startling in its intensity.
‘Hey, hey. You carry on like that and we won't get our weekend shopping done.' She gave her an extra caress and hug, then continued: ‘Else how do we feed our dinner guests?' She laughed to lighten the mood, having surprised a look of dejection on her lover's face. She guessed there had been a sudden pang of regret, which she too had felt, at the prospect of living apart. She was doing her best to cover it over with a lightness she didn't feel.
These past few weeks had brought Sid more happiness than she could have believed possible. Ten was her perfect mate. She spoke to her heart as no other woman had ever done and was more desirable now than in the beginning, if this could be possible. Yes, it was so. She had learned, under her guidance, not only how to give but, which was more important to Ten, how to receive. She had learned to let go: to trust completely and to give of herself, but totally. Their bonding had become a fulfilment beyond all earthly imaginings. Now and then a troubling thought had bedevilled her mind such as:
This can't be real. It surely can't last.
Even that horrible insinuation
… Will not someone come along to snatch her away?
She rose and moved next to Ten to rest her cheek on her dark crown, savoring the soft perfume of her. Now she was thinking:
“I'm in the grip of a fear that perhaps what we have together is about to be taken from us. Is this the start of the cost for so much bliss? Is it now time to pay our dues? No. No it's too soon. Much too soon.”
Ten patted Sid's arm. ‘I'll make us lunch,' she offered. She needed to occupy herself while her mind dealt with the reality that yes indeed, Sid would be leaving her. She went to the kitchen showing very little sign of a limp. She amended her thought:
“Not leaving her, just going away to fulfil her goals and to be her own woman.”
Continuing her brooding she began to assemble the wherewithal for sandwiches and plugged in the kettle. “
This is her right and I have no jurisdiction.”
She choked a little on a convulsive swallow:
“No right to tie her down; to dampen her happiness.”
A muscle twitched nervously in her eyelid as she collected together cheese, tomatoes and mayonnaise. Watching from her vantage point Sid could tell she was caught in introspection, at odds with herself and fighting her emotions. She decided to put the letter away and not talk of Guelph for now. It wouldn't happen for some days yet.
Lunch made, the two women sat and worked through the shopping list for dinner. Ten had returned to the store Thursdays and Fridays to help out with late night shoppers. This arrangement worked well; she was earning again and contributing to their finances. In consequence, Sid was feeling more comfortable over maintaining their monthly expenses. About money she was a worrywart.
Conveniently, in the local shopping plaza, they'd found a Dominion they liked and next door to it, a liquor store. Unfortunately, for beer, it was still necessary to go across to Yonge and Avenue Road, but the hassle was more over parking than distance.
Tonight they'd invited their landladies for dinner and to help the evening along, Reine and Thea would be here to lend support where needed. Wanting to return their hospitality for some time now, this had presented as the perfect opportunity. The seating arrangements weren't the greatest; an assortment of chairs and stools had to be pressed into service. However, if the company were having a good time, they reckoned the rather primitive facilities would be overlooked. Despite this, Sid and Ten had made their apartment very cosy, investing in interesting scatter rugs and oriental Afghans to cover the jaded upholstery. The dining table was from the thirties so it could be extended to seat six, but it had come with only four creaky chairs. Sid and Reine would each have to cope with a stool. Handsome pot plants now filled the corners of the living room and either side of the fireplace. In front of the hearth were two colorful, large cushions, just perfect for lounging.
‘I think we've covered the basics, Babe. If we spot anything else on the way round we'll pick it up then.' Sid looked well satisfied and ready to get the show on the road.
‘Okay, cool,' Ten agreed promptly, back to her old self, her worries put to one side. ‘I'll leave this …' she indicated the remains of lunch, ‘ …and get my purse.' Sid picked up the keys and checked her wallet.
*   *   *
‘Look Sid, they've got jeans on sale.'
They had successfully purchased the items on the list, plus six artichokes Ten had spotted in the gourmet section and couldn't resist. Sid had never eaten fresh ones but, if Ten wanted her to try them then she wouldn't say no. She herself had splurged on a balsamic vinegar. She loved making her own dressings, especially since they ate so many different types of salad now.
They were on their way to the car, Sid pushing the cart.
‘You've been hoping for a new pair. Why don't we go in and you try them?' Sid checked the store that had caught Ten's attention: Jordache. She liked their stuff. The store was still selling off old stock ahead of the fall arrivals. The prices were right. She hated spending on clothes, but if she could find a ‘bargoon' then she was more reconciled, having learned the value of money too early in life. Seeing her mother struggle to make ends meet had cut deeply into her psyche. Now her feeling of security had to be propped up by solid financial backing. With others she was generous to a fault, but herself … Ten on the other hand could be frivolous, but she felt she needed to encourage Sid to loosen up; some self-indulgence was good. She didn't get many opportunities, but it looked like she'd scored a winner here. She was not one to shop for clothes on her own, but with Ten by her side, she quite enjoyed it.
Ten took the cart and they strolled in. Sid went to check for her size, but returned disappointed and ready to leave. The sales assistant came up and after their explanation suggested a pair of corduroys. She frowned thinking: ‘Here we go, the usual hard sell,' but Ten followed her. The cords were also at the sale price. Looking better. And when she saw them, she was hooked. There were a variety of colors, but a champagne brown appealed the most. They would go well with her forest green sweater. Also, cream featured a lot in winter. She tried them on. Ten thought she looked fantastic. They hugged her ass just right, then draped over her thighs without that annoying twist the legs can sometimes get. Sid was pleased; the Jordache cut had always suited her body type. Of course she'd have to turn up the hems, the legs were always too long.
Facing Ten: ‘What do you think …' and was about to say, ‘ …Darling,' but bit her tongue. The sales-girl looked young enough not to mind, but she didn't want to parade if it might upset Ten and she really didn't know how she felt about being out. So – ‘play it safe' would be the order of the day.
‘I think you should take them,' was all she said. Later she'd go into raves and give those buns a lovely feel. This unexpected purchase put them in a good mood and Sid drove over to the beer store with rather reckless abandon, jolting Ten's heart when she only just made the lights.
Back at the apartment, Sid busied herself with cleaning and tidying whilst Ten put away and began preparations for dinner. They had embraced vegetarianism, but were not vegan, and still consumed eggs, cheese and milk. Ten regretted the passing of seafood since she loved the crustaceans. But morally she was much happier, knowing her lifestyle was not contributing to the rape of the sea by dragnet fishing and under water explosions. When she looked back on her dad's fishing, albeit, on a small scale and just for recreation, she did feel somewhat uneasy.
For tonight they had decided on Thai dishes from the new recipe book. Sid had not, as yet, been so moved as to dip into it, but Ten enjoyed experimenting. She was going to prepare
Gaeng Liang Fak Tong,
which translated to pumpkin and coconut cream soup. She sprinkled the pumpkin with lemon juice, then let it stand for twenty minutes. The recipe called for fish sauce and shrimp paste, but she omitted them and instead sautéed the onion with ground cumin and coriander paste. She added two fresh chopped chillies. While all that was softening and blending she used soy milk to dilute the coconut cream in a large saucepan, then added finely chopped lemon grass, sugar, freshly ground black pepper and brought it all to a boil. Transferring the onion mixture to the pot, she added the pumpkin and set it to simmer gently.
At one stage Sid came into the kitchen, nose sniffing the air. ‘Mm..m, something smells good. What is it?' Just to tease, Ten had replied: ‘
Gaeng Liang Fak Tong
.'
‘Don't be rude.' Sid had kissed her, laughing. Now she lifted the lid and took a look. ‘Just as I thought, pumpkin soup,' she confirmed, nodding sagely. ‘I came in to ask if I could put a plant in the bathroom? I've finished in there. I put the white guest towels out, then I thought the maidenhair fern would be pretty on the vanity.' She looked quizzically at the chef.
‘Whatever you like, if you think it looks good, go for it,' she affirmed distractedly. Her mind was really on the main course:
Yam Yai
. They had selected a varied salad, so her work was cut out to get everything prepared. That was the only trouble with Thai food, the time it took getting it together. Often the cooking part was minimal. This one needed Bok Choy, bean curd cubes for protein, tomato wedges, sliced cucumber with skin sections for color, blanched broccoli florets, strips of red pepper, shallot curls and peeled and halved hard boiled eggs. She would use coriander leaves for garnish.
Yam Yai
had been their choice since there would be no last minute cooking required and Ten could relax. The guests knew they would be eating vegetarian, so they just had to be sure it was tasty.

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