Outing of the Heart (54 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
â'Til tomorrow,' Sidonie replied thickly.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sidonie took her time on the return journey, not wanting to get back to the real world of competitive speeds, cut-ins and road-rage. The gym was quiet when she walked in at about half past four, thinking she would have to come to grips with this Amazons' contest. If she were serious, then she needed to put in more time than she had been of late. Also, a home program for work on a daily basis â the lower legs and wrists.
“Those dedicated shapers will put you in the shade, if you don't pick up the pace ⦠and soon,”
she thought. There were about four weeks remaining. She knew the pitfalls of trying to do too much at the eleventh hour. Yes, this was only amateur, but the girls had a strong resolve to be the best. “
Let's face it,”
she remonstrated truthfully:
“No one wants to set up on that podium not looking at least halfway decent.”
Serena was still hard at it when she walked in and only gave her the briefest of acknowledgments. âCatch ya later,' she called out between lifts. Sidonie noted the amount of her weight and whistled softly. “
Mama Rosa, that's some big bar,
” groaning inwardly. Stop dreaming and get on with it. If Tenille was going to be away for two weeks, she could use the time profitably so she put her personal thoughts to one side and settled down into a strenuous, cardiovascular workout and mentally got into gear to attack the weights.
The hour passed unbelievably fast. Checking her watch at half past five, she was amazed. Looking around, there was no Serena and guessed she was in the pool. Serena had involved herself in the âbody beautiful' game only recently, being content before just to work out, but she'd come a long way in a short time. They were like kindred spirits and with no-one special in her life just now, Serena was dedicated to the gym. The reason she was doing so well.
âYup. In the pool.'
She dove in and joined her in the next lane, letting her pace the lengths, keeping her thoughts on maintaining rhythm and strokes. In the locker room, they discussed the up-coming contest. It would be held this year in Hull, just outside Ottawa. The big day was August third. The preliminary rounds would begin the Friday evening and the judges would go through the process of elimination Saturday. The finals were Sunday afternoon, at which time there would be a new champion, reigning for twelve months; acting as ambassador for the sport and winning lucrative endorsements.
So many people had assured Sidonie she had the goods, they had decided her to take the plunge. Most of the time positive, but at others she could regret putting her name down, not altogether sure she had the mental dedication. Before meeting Tenille determination had been to the fore. “
Falling in love sure can turn your life around.”
Not expecting to be a champion, or even runner up, she did have hope she could acquit herself creditably in the early stages; could gain valuable experience for pursuit of the sport. She'd never make it her career, wanting to work with animals above all else. She would be going to Guelph come September, all being well. Now, with Tenille going on tour, she was glad to be part of the competition.
“What will this do to our relationship?”
she worried.
“Will we have built up enough between us to withstand the strains of separation? Tenille is so damned attractive, once she's on the Lesbian scene there'll always be someone with their eye on her, waiting in the wings.”
She drew a deep breath, giving enough time to her alter ego: “
Listen kid, you can't keep worrying about everything before it happens. Who's to say you'll still be relating by then. There's still her trip to the States to get through.”
By the time she'd dressed and was ready to leave it was approaching six. She said goodbye to Serena and headed off in the direction of St. Hubert's. She would pick up her usual protein-plus dinner, but change the garden salad to a pasta one. It would soon be time to tip the balance to the carbohydrates, but the thought of all that rice and potato was daunting.
Thinking about tomorrow, she decided they could do no better than eat at Windows on Church. It was not far from Cawthra Square so they could walk; so nice on these balmy nights. She pictured them, hand in hand, looking at the stars.
“Well
,
drop the hand part,”
she told herself. She liked the other bit though. She would make the reservation from St. Hubert's.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
It was a good morning's work at the stables. Sidonie had eyed the grooms more than once and wished she were of their legion, but she was not prepared to give up her night-time hours to racing. With the groom's job came the responsibility for travelling with the horses if they were racing at the downtown track and returning with them, late at night, oftentimes not finishing 'til after midnight. It also required travelling in the trailer with the horse and in confined spaces, who knew what damage they could inflict. If grooming had just meant cleaning stalls, tacking and grooming, she'd have loved it, but the other was just too much.
After work she went through her clothes, taking time to select what would be most appropriate. For dinner her favorite forest green, cotton blend, hemp shirt. It had a soft, almost velvety feel, in a western style with pearlized buttons down the front and on two patch pockets, one over each breast, long sleeved with long cuffs, also adorned with the little buttons. Baggy style pants, black, with large patch pockets on the outside of each thigh. Her black leather casuals completed the outfit. The combination reinforced her butchness, but she also looked stylish. Very nice for a gay restaurant. The green shirt gave her hair a silver-blonde sheen that she knew would set off her tan.
Before leaving for BODYSHAPE, she packed two bags, one for over-night, the other for the gym. Should she take PJs? Maybe. Her Moosehead Beer T-shirt would be all right. She smiled to herself. With a bit of luck, she'd not have to wear it for long. All her toiletries she put in her grip, including her Anteus cologne. She hoped Tenille would like it.
Monday afternoon turned out to be busy. Everyone trying to work off the excesses of the weekend, perhaps? Nina was on the desk and was surprised to see her at that time. Flashing her membership card, she told her how she couldn't make it this evening because she was going out. Explanations caused her cheeks to flush hotly, but Nina didn't seem to notice anything.
It was a good, satisfying session. The definition in her thighs was beginning to show at last and her abdominals were tightening up nicely. She devoted a chunk of time to ankles and wrists, these being problem areas. Although quadriceps and hamstrings were important, she could look unbalanced if the calf seemed to disappear into nothing. It was the same with well developed Biceps and Triceps. Without the forearm groups, the âbody beautiful' was not so lovely after all. Balance was the key.
Signing out two sets of dumbbells, she took a peak at the other names. She was a bit slow getting to it. Girls had been taking equipment home for a while, but she observed they were for the major groups, whereas she was starting to fine-tune. So far so good ⦠on target.
The day was still hot and muggy, but now the sun was burning through the dismal greyness of bruised clouds and the thick layer of pollutants. After her shower she pulled on a tank top and shorts. She would have loved to be driving a convertible, but didn't relish the afternoon sun beating down on her shoulders and especially not on her nose. The tan she had achieved gave her just the right glow.
A glance at her dash clock â ample time to make it downtown, even considering rush hour traffic. It was the timing of the pick up that would be tricky. She would head for Harbor Front to wait there, then drive up to the south entrance. She could slip up Victoria Street and head west on Queen and hope like hell Tenille was waiting.
Driving south from the gym, she took her time, then hit the Gardiner Expressway, fortunately against the flow of commuters returning home to Mississauga, Etobicoke and points west. Her thoughts, for some unknown reason, turned to Karen. She hadn't thought of her in quite a while and here she was, looking forward to being with Tenille and yet her mind was dwelling on the past, when she and Karen had first met at George Brown College and were trying to find their way.
They needed to familiarize themselves with the bookstore, students' union, the library and the one hundred and one places they were required to know. Everything had been strange and exciting, that first semester and they had clicked, right off. All things possible in the beginning; soul mates, never to part. Would she and Tenille end up the same way?
Karen had loved the sex too. Unfortunately, for her, there had been something missing. Karen was sweet natured in those days, but later, as she came to realize that Sidonie hadn't felt as much for her, she had become demanding, more shrill. Could Tenille turn out like that? Was it something that happened to women as they came to deal with frustration and resentment?
“Dear Goddess, don't let it be like that for us.”
They had their discords now, but that was to be expected; two such different personalities and backgrounds. Or was she deluding herself? She wanted this woman so badly. Would dissimilarities be their undoing? Or would these be the very making of them?
“Why can't you just accept what you're getting now,”
her alter ego questioned.
“Do you always have to dump on the future? Especially as you're no clairvoyant.”
She twisted her mouth into an ironic smile and switched her thoughts back to the traffic, nose to tail in both directions as she reached the downtown core. The Toronto skyline from this vantage point looked impressive. Northward from the Lake, the imposing towers of Toronto's business district attested to its position as Canada's leading city. With the CN Tower dominating its neighbors, no one could mistake this place. She passed the Skydome on her left and thought how nice it would be one day, to take Tenille to a ball game.
“She may never want to watch me play if I do that,”
she speculated perversely.
At King's Quay she pulled into a parking bay close to the water's edge, and strolled over to a picnic table, but decided to stretch out on the grass, under a big Maple. The yachts in the distance bobbed about like toy gulls, their white sails, wings taking advantage of the stiffening breeze. She too, appreciated its cooling freshness. This was one hell of a stinking, hot day.
Getting onto Queen proved a more difficult accomplishment than she had anticipated, but once in the flow, impediments were minimal. It was just after five-thirty when she drove as slowly as possible past the Eaton Centre, craning her neck for a sight of Tenille. She would have to go up to Dundas and come round again.
âI hope this plan is going to work,' she breathed. It was getting past the time now. Would Tenille think something had happened to her? “
No, no. She's more sensible than that. She'll know it's rush hour,”
she chided herself.
Coming up closer, she spotted her, so keeping in the left lane, slid smoothly into place. Quickly, Tenille was inside and Sidonie indicating to join the traffic. There was no let up in the steady stream, until a change in the lights gave her the break and they were off.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Robert showed them to their room which was a beautifully appointed, Victorian-style master bedroom. The decor had been completed with loving detail, even to puddling of the damask drapes at the big bay window. The double bed had an intricately carved, wooden headboard and the dark mahogany of the furniture, contrasted pleasingly with the blue and gold color scheme of the fabrics and walls. Tenille was delighted. There was even a 19th century duchess table, ready to receive her bits and pieces.
A discrete knock at the door drew Sidonie. A complimentary glass of chilled, sparkling wine and a posy of flowers adorned a presentation tray. Feeling pampered, they sat together on the love seat sipping, as they caught up on the day's events.
âThe morning went slowly and dragged and dragged 'til lunchtime. Monday often is a quiet day, so we occupy our time catching up on stock and re-ordering. I hate that part of it though. You have to spend all your time in the gloom of the basement.' Her voice brightened as she savored another mouthful. âInterestingly enough, someone was in looking for shoes for Flamenco.' She paused: âDon't know if she's joined Belen's or Montserrat's class.'
âYou feel happy here?'
âOh yes, very. Why do you ask?'
âJust checking.' This time she gave her a little kiss on the fullness of her cheek, then continued: âI have to shower and change. Do you want to go first? The washroom's at the far end of the hall.'
âI don't mind. It might be a good idea. I have to do my face after.'
Sitting back, Sidonie watched the process of getting together what was needed. It was hard to believe her good fortune ⦠this most beautiful of women; her most absolute perfect ideal ⦠and she was about to spend the next ten hours with her.
Suddenly, an excited observation from Tenille: âLook. We've been given complimentary robes.' as she withdrew a hanger from the closet, a gold embossed card attached. Two, pure white, fluffy, terry cloth robes had been waiting for them.
She went off to her shower deep in thought. Tonight would be a defining moment in their lives. How she prayed she wouldn't do, or say anything to upset this balance between them. Inescapable images of the girl pursued her as she soaped her body and scrubbed it to a glowing freshness.
Sidonie had a great longing for her, it was like a tangible aura, making her own desire hard to control. But this time of anticipation should be savored, not squandered by hastiness. Her confidence in Sidonie was absolute, trusting her body to her implicitly, knowing she would come to no harm.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sidonie took her time on the return journey, not wanting to get back to the real world of competitive speeds, cut-ins and road-rage. The gym was quiet when she walked in at about half past four, thinking she would have to come to grips with this Amazons' contest. If she were serious, then she needed to put in more time than she had been of late. Also, a home program for work on a daily basis â the lower legs and wrists.
“Those dedicated shapers will put you in the shade, if you don't pick up the pace ⦠and soon,”
she thought. There were about four weeks remaining. She knew the pitfalls of trying to do too much at the eleventh hour. Yes, this was only amateur, but the girls had a strong resolve to be the best. “
Let's face it,”
she remonstrated truthfully:
“No one wants to set up on that podium not looking at least halfway decent.”
Serena was still hard at it when she walked in and only gave her the briefest of acknowledgments. âCatch ya later,' she called out between lifts. Sidonie noted the amount of her weight and whistled softly. “
Mama Rosa, that's some big bar,
” groaning inwardly. Stop dreaming and get on with it. If Tenille was going to be away for two weeks, she could use the time profitably so she put her personal thoughts to one side and settled down into a strenuous, cardiovascular workout and mentally got into gear to attack the weights.
The hour passed unbelievably fast. Checking her watch at half past five, she was amazed. Looking around, there was no Serena and guessed she was in the pool. Serena had involved herself in the âbody beautiful' game only recently, being content before just to work out, but she'd come a long way in a short time. They were like kindred spirits and with no-one special in her life just now, Serena was dedicated to the gym. The reason she was doing so well.
âYup. In the pool.'
She dove in and joined her in the next lane, letting her pace the lengths, keeping her thoughts on maintaining rhythm and strokes. In the locker room, they discussed the up-coming contest. It would be held this year in Hull, just outside Ottawa. The big day was August third. The preliminary rounds would begin the Friday evening and the judges would go through the process of elimination Saturday. The finals were Sunday afternoon, at which time there would be a new champion, reigning for twelve months; acting as ambassador for the sport and winning lucrative endorsements.
So many people had assured Sidonie she had the goods, they had decided her to take the plunge. Most of the time positive, but at others she could regret putting her name down, not altogether sure she had the mental dedication. Before meeting Tenille determination had been to the fore. “
Falling in love sure can turn your life around.”
Not expecting to be a champion, or even runner up, she did have hope she could acquit herself creditably in the early stages; could gain valuable experience for pursuit of the sport. She'd never make it her career, wanting to work with animals above all else. She would be going to Guelph come September, all being well. Now, with Tenille going on tour, she was glad to be part of the competition.
“What will this do to our relationship?”
she worried.
“Will we have built up enough between us to withstand the strains of separation? Tenille is so damned attractive, once she's on the Lesbian scene there'll always be someone with their eye on her, waiting in the wings.”
She drew a deep breath, giving enough time to her alter ego: “
Listen kid, you can't keep worrying about everything before it happens. Who's to say you'll still be relating by then. There's still her trip to the States to get through.”
By the time she'd dressed and was ready to leave it was approaching six. She said goodbye to Serena and headed off in the direction of St. Hubert's. She would pick up her usual protein-plus dinner, but change the garden salad to a pasta one. It would soon be time to tip the balance to the carbohydrates, but the thought of all that rice and potato was daunting.
Thinking about tomorrow, she decided they could do no better than eat at Windows on Church. It was not far from Cawthra Square so they could walk; so nice on these balmy nights. She pictured them, hand in hand, looking at the stars.
“Well
,
drop the hand part,”
she told herself. She liked the other bit though. She would make the reservation from St. Hubert's.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
It was a good morning's work at the stables. Sidonie had eyed the grooms more than once and wished she were of their legion, but she was not prepared to give up her night-time hours to racing. With the groom's job came the responsibility for travelling with the horses if they were racing at the downtown track and returning with them, late at night, oftentimes not finishing 'til after midnight. It also required travelling in the trailer with the horse and in confined spaces, who knew what damage they could inflict. If grooming had just meant cleaning stalls, tacking and grooming, she'd have loved it, but the other was just too much.
After work she went through her clothes, taking time to select what would be most appropriate. For dinner her favorite forest green, cotton blend, hemp shirt. It had a soft, almost velvety feel, in a western style with pearlized buttons down the front and on two patch pockets, one over each breast, long sleeved with long cuffs, also adorned with the little buttons. Baggy style pants, black, with large patch pockets on the outside of each thigh. Her black leather casuals completed the outfit. The combination reinforced her butchness, but she also looked stylish. Very nice for a gay restaurant. The green shirt gave her hair a silver-blonde sheen that she knew would set off her tan.
Before leaving for BODYSHAPE, she packed two bags, one for over-night, the other for the gym. Should she take PJs? Maybe. Her Moosehead Beer T-shirt would be all right. She smiled to herself. With a bit of luck, she'd not have to wear it for long. All her toiletries she put in her grip, including her Anteus cologne. She hoped Tenille would like it.
Monday afternoon turned out to be busy. Everyone trying to work off the excesses of the weekend, perhaps? Nina was on the desk and was surprised to see her at that time. Flashing her membership card, she told her how she couldn't make it this evening because she was going out. Explanations caused her cheeks to flush hotly, but Nina didn't seem to notice anything.
It was a good, satisfying session. The definition in her thighs was beginning to show at last and her abdominals were tightening up nicely. She devoted a chunk of time to ankles and wrists, these being problem areas. Although quadriceps and hamstrings were important, she could look unbalanced if the calf seemed to disappear into nothing. It was the same with well developed Biceps and Triceps. Without the forearm groups, the âbody beautiful' was not so lovely after all. Balance was the key.
Signing out two sets of dumbbells, she took a peak at the other names. She was a bit slow getting to it. Girls had been taking equipment home for a while, but she observed they were for the major groups, whereas she was starting to fine-tune. So far so good ⦠on target.
The day was still hot and muggy, but now the sun was burning through the dismal greyness of bruised clouds and the thick layer of pollutants. After her shower she pulled on a tank top and shorts. She would have loved to be driving a convertible, but didn't relish the afternoon sun beating down on her shoulders and especially not on her nose. The tan she had achieved gave her just the right glow.
A glance at her dash clock â ample time to make it downtown, even considering rush hour traffic. It was the timing of the pick up that would be tricky. She would head for Harbor Front to wait there, then drive up to the south entrance. She could slip up Victoria Street and head west on Queen and hope like hell Tenille was waiting.
Driving south from the gym, she took her time, then hit the Gardiner Expressway, fortunately against the flow of commuters returning home to Mississauga, Etobicoke and points west. Her thoughts, for some unknown reason, turned to Karen. She hadn't thought of her in quite a while and here she was, looking forward to being with Tenille and yet her mind was dwelling on the past, when she and Karen had first met at George Brown College and were trying to find their way.
They needed to familiarize themselves with the bookstore, students' union, the library and the one hundred and one places they were required to know. Everything had been strange and exciting, that first semester and they had clicked, right off. All things possible in the beginning; soul mates, never to part. Would she and Tenille end up the same way?
Karen had loved the sex too. Unfortunately, for her, there had been something missing. Karen was sweet natured in those days, but later, as she came to realize that Sidonie hadn't felt as much for her, she had become demanding, more shrill. Could Tenille turn out like that? Was it something that happened to women as they came to deal with frustration and resentment?
“Dear Goddess, don't let it be like that for us.”
They had their discords now, but that was to be expected; two such different personalities and backgrounds. Or was she deluding herself? She wanted this woman so badly. Would dissimilarities be their undoing? Or would these be the very making of them?
“Why can't you just accept what you're getting now,”
her alter ego questioned.
“Do you always have to dump on the future? Especially as you're no clairvoyant.”
She twisted her mouth into an ironic smile and switched her thoughts back to the traffic, nose to tail in both directions as she reached the downtown core. The Toronto skyline from this vantage point looked impressive. Northward from the Lake, the imposing towers of Toronto's business district attested to its position as Canada's leading city. With the CN Tower dominating its neighbors, no one could mistake this place. She passed the Skydome on her left and thought how nice it would be one day, to take Tenille to a ball game.
“She may never want to watch me play if I do that,”
she speculated perversely.
At King's Quay she pulled into a parking bay close to the water's edge, and strolled over to a picnic table, but decided to stretch out on the grass, under a big Maple. The yachts in the distance bobbed about like toy gulls, their white sails, wings taking advantage of the stiffening breeze. She too, appreciated its cooling freshness. This was one hell of a stinking, hot day.
Getting onto Queen proved a more difficult accomplishment than she had anticipated, but once in the flow, impediments were minimal. It was just after five-thirty when she drove as slowly as possible past the Eaton Centre, craning her neck for a sight of Tenille. She would have to go up to Dundas and come round again.
âI hope this plan is going to work,' she breathed. It was getting past the time now. Would Tenille think something had happened to her? “
No, no. She's more sensible than that. She'll know it's rush hour,”
she chided herself.
Coming up closer, she spotted her, so keeping in the left lane, slid smoothly into place. Quickly, Tenille was inside and Sidonie indicating to join the traffic. There was no let up in the steady stream, until a change in the lights gave her the break and they were off.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Robert showed them to their room which was a beautifully appointed, Victorian-style master bedroom. The decor had been completed with loving detail, even to puddling of the damask drapes at the big bay window. The double bed had an intricately carved, wooden headboard and the dark mahogany of the furniture, contrasted pleasingly with the blue and gold color scheme of the fabrics and walls. Tenille was delighted. There was even a 19th century duchess table, ready to receive her bits and pieces.
A discrete knock at the door drew Sidonie. A complimentary glass of chilled, sparkling wine and a posy of flowers adorned a presentation tray. Feeling pampered, they sat together on the love seat sipping, as they caught up on the day's events.
âThe morning went slowly and dragged and dragged 'til lunchtime. Monday often is a quiet day, so we occupy our time catching up on stock and re-ordering. I hate that part of it though. You have to spend all your time in the gloom of the basement.' Her voice brightened as she savored another mouthful. âInterestingly enough, someone was in looking for shoes for Flamenco.' She paused: âDon't know if she's joined Belen's or Montserrat's class.'
âYou feel happy here?'
âOh yes, very. Why do you ask?'
âJust checking.' This time she gave her a little kiss on the fullness of her cheek, then continued: âI have to shower and change. Do you want to go first? The washroom's at the far end of the hall.'
âI don't mind. It might be a good idea. I have to do my face after.'
Sitting back, Sidonie watched the process of getting together what was needed. It was hard to believe her good fortune ⦠this most beautiful of women; her most absolute perfect ideal ⦠and she was about to spend the next ten hours with her.
Suddenly, an excited observation from Tenille: âLook. We've been given complimentary robes.' as she withdrew a hanger from the closet, a gold embossed card attached. Two, pure white, fluffy, terry cloth robes had been waiting for them.
She went off to her shower deep in thought. Tonight would be a defining moment in their lives. How she prayed she wouldn't do, or say anything to upset this balance between them. Inescapable images of the girl pursued her as she soaped her body and scrubbed it to a glowing freshness.
Sidonie had a great longing for her, it was like a tangible aura, making her own desire hard to control. But this time of anticipation should be savored, not squandered by hastiness. Her confidence in Sidonie was absolute, trusting her body to her implicitly, knowing she would come to no harm.
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