Outbreak (9 page)

We walk back to the kitchen in silence.

“Come on, Dakota. What’s going on? Where were you? Why didn’t you call or write? You didn’t answer my texts or anything.”

Again, guilt punches my gut. I know Elaine feels abandoned. I did when David did the same thing to me. I turn away, unable to meet her intense stare.

“Well?”

Again I offer no response.

“I even called Josh and asked him to tell me where you were, whether or not you were okay.” Elaine had never called Josh in the past, mostly because she liked him too much. For her to call now spoke volumes. “He told me not to worry about anything, that you were fine.”

“You talked to Josh?” My mind spins. I’m not prepared to talk about him. Not with my best friend. “When?”

“Right after I got your mom’s letter. I wanted to know why he wasn’t taking care of your place. Didn’t he tell you that I called?”

“No.” My voice sounds hollow. “He couldn’t.”

“Why?” Elaine asks as she puts a hand on my shoulder.

I shudder at her touch, lost in thoughts I’ve worked hard to ignore. Water fills my eyes.

“Dakota?” She knows I’m hiding things. “What happened? Where’s Josh?”

The tears flow before I can stop them. Elaine scoops me into a hug. “Shh, whatever it is we can fix it.”

Not this time.

“Talk to me, Dakota. Where’s Josh? What’s happened?”

I pull away and stow my emotions before they overcome me completely.

“Josh is . . . dead.”

Elaine’s expression darkens to match my own. “What? No. How?”

“He drowned,” I say. “While we were on vacation.”

“Drowned? That doesn’t make sense. He was a competitive swimmer. He’s been around water his whole life. He couldn’t have drowned.” Elaine speaks all of my doubts.

“The coroner confirmed it,” I lie. “Accidental drowning they said.”

Memories of Josh’s murder simmer below the surface of my thoughts. My emotions stir into a tempest. The kitchen lights flicker in response to the storm inside me.

Quickly I attempt to calm my fractured thoughts. I take a deep breath. And another. The lights no longer flicker.

Elaine continues to ask questions about Josh. Her words blur and the power surges again.

Elaine notices. “Looks like you’ve got a wiring problem,” she says, distracted by the lights. “I know someone who can take a look at things. Make sure there’s nothing wrong.”

Doubtful. No one can fix this problem.

“No, it’s okay,” I say. I lock my feelings behind a mask, unwilling to share more than I already have—even with her. “It’s probably just a power surge.” I calm my mind further.

“Okay, but let me know if you change your mind.”

Her eyes say everything. I draw from her strength and keep my feelings in check.

“Let’s get pizza and just veg. Like we always did when life just sucked.”

“That sounds good,” I say, my voice hollow. “I’m starving.” In truth, I feel nothing.

The pizza comes and Elaine and I settle in the living room with junk food and a romcom—just like old times.

“So,” I say trying to sound normal, “fill me in on the happenings around Cambria. Any new gossip to share?”

“In Cambria? Are you serious? I think you’ve forgotten that nothing ever happens here.” Elaine laughs, a feeble attempt to lighten the mood and distract my thoughts away from Josh.

“What did everyone do after graduation?” I ask, playing along. “Anyone stick around here besides you?”

“Well, Gabe is around most of the time. He comes into the diner and asks about you. I think he’s lonely.”

“I call that karma. He should have thought about that before he started messing around with everyone.”

“Right? And Jamie—you remember her from chemistry?—well she dropped out of college. Drug addiction problem.”

“Wow. She doesn’t seem the type.”

Elaine continues to rattle off the latest headlines from Cambria. Uneventful by most accounts, but it makes me feel at home. Everything about the night screams “normal”—Elaine and me eating pizza, too much gossip about our friends, deep conversations about life. Even the pain of losing Josh dulls and retreats into a small corner of my thoughts. Tonight fills a need I can’t express. Why did I ever want to escape this life?

We talk for hours. Elaine fills me in about college, her job at the diner and her parents’ never-ending involvement in her life.

“I met someone,” she says as she grabs another slice of pizza. “At school. His name is Mark. He’s studying electrical engineering at Cal Poly.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“Freshman English. We started talking about an assignment and the next thing I knew we were dating. He’s a great guy. And cute. I think you’d like him. Total comic nerd.”

I smile as she tells me more about Mark: their many dates, her feelings for him, their plans for the future. I’ve never seen her so happy. My mind rushes to David. I was happy with him, too. If only—

I cut off the thought before it can form and focus my attention back to Elaine. “When do I get to meet him?” I ask before I consider the dangers.

“Soon. We’ll go out for dinner or something.”

“I’d like that.” It’s not a lie. It’s also not smart.

Or safe.

“Your turn to spill,” Elaine says. “What happened to you? And where are your parents now? Are they coming back soon?”

The questions overwhelm me. I want to tell her everything. Explain just how messed up my life has become, what really happened to Josh and why I’m home. I want to talk about David, his promise, why I left. But I can’t say anything.

“Dakota?”

“Um...sorry. I was just thinking. I like hearing about your life. You seem really happy.”

“I am. But stop changing the subject. What happened to you? Where did you go after the cops took you away?”

“It’s nothing. I went to the hospital for a few days and then we went to visit family on the East Coast.”

“You know I can always tell when you’re lying. What aren’t you telling me?” Elaine glares at me. If I didn’t know better I’d think she was trying to read my thoughts.

“Josh died on the East Coast.” The words slip out before I stop them. Tears again fill my eyes.

“How long has it been?” Elaine asks as she grabs my hand.

“A few months. It feels like yesterday, though.”

“I’m sure. You guys were really close. Is that why your parents aren’t back yet? Is it too hard for them?”

I don’t want to lie to my best friend, but there is no way I can tell her
this
truth. “I guess,” is my only response. “Hey, do you want to stay over? I’ve always hated staying here alone. I could really use the company.”

“Sure,” she says.

I push a silent “thank you” into her thoughts as she starts another movie.

Morning erupts with the sound of my screams as “David!” pushes past my lips. My pulse roars in my ears. I sit up and blink away the remnants of the dream. My breathing slowly returns to something that resembles normal as I stretch the kinks out of my neck and shoulders. Sleeping on the couch has never equated with comfort.

“Are you okay?” Elaine runs to my side. “You were screaming. Something you want to tell me?” A suspicious glint flickers in her eyes and I know there is no way I am getting out of this conversation.

“It was just a dream.”

“I worked that much out myself,” she says. “A dream about ‘David’. I have a feeling there are things you left out about your time away.” Elaine sits next to me on the couch. “Come on, dish. I want to hear everything.”

The truth is, I’d love to talk to Elaine about David. She’ll understand my feelings, why I can’t stop thinking about him, why I had to leave. But a conversation about him means a conversation about me. And that isn’t possible.

“I don’t know what to say. I still dream about him sometimes.”

“That didn’t sound like a lovesick dream. You sounded worried. Like you needed him. Like there was more between the two of you.”

A smile forms before I can prevent it.

“I knew it!” Elaine shoves me playfully. “What’s going on? Did you two hook up again?”

“He moved to the East Coast. He helped me through Josh’s death. That’s all.” Not a complete lie.

“He helped you? How did he know about it?” Elaine never misses anything.

“He and Josh stayed in touch. David was at the funeral. We spent some time together afterward.”

Elaine watches me as I speak. Again it feels like she wants access to my thoughts. “And? Are you guys seeing each other now?”

“No. It’s not like we live in the same place.”

“You could move. Go to school where he is or something.”

Memories of David and Josh fray my already fragile nerves. I grab hold of my emotions before they slip away from me. “Maybe one day,” I say as I wrestle with my mind. “Maybe.”

Elaine is relentless. “You should call him. You clearly want to based on that dream.”

Unheard sounds pull at my attention. In my thoughts, I see a hooded figure walking up the steps. My senses heighten with the threat. Without thinking, I respond and squeeze the would-be assailant’s neck, attack his mind.

A scream filters through the front door. Elaine jumps to her feet. Yells.

“Mark!” She runs down the steps as I walk to the door, my focus unwavering. “Mark,” she says again.

Elaine shifts her gaze from him to me and back. “Help me. Something’s wrong with him.”

The frantic tones in her voice bring me back. “I’m sorry,” I mumble, releasing my strangle hold on him. “I’m so sorry.” I run down the porch stairs and help Elaine carry her boyfriend into the house.

He sits on the couch and watches me, wary. “You,” he says as he meets my gaze. “You did that. Why?”

My brow furrows. How can he know anything about what I’ve done?

“No,” Elaine says. Her attention wanders between us. “She was trying to help you. You’re confused.”

“I don’t think so,” Mark says.

I take in the image of him and carefully touch his thoughts. Olive skin. Dark brown hair shaved close to his scalp. Dark eyes that give nothing away. Jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. There is nothing that stands out, nothing familiar or threatening in his appearance or his mind.

“Ask her,” he says to Elaine. “Ask her what she just did.”

Elaine turns to me. “Dakota? What is he talking about?”