Out Of The Friend Zone (10 page)

"You are so beautiful. I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my hands off you tonight," Chandler whispered, his arousal already growing.

"You're just saying that," Brynn said, suddenly shy.

Chandler took her into his arms and pressed her body to his. Their hips met and she felt him poking into her. "Does it feel like I'm just saying that?"

Brynn smiled and kissed him, feeling him growing more and more as the kiss went on. "Come on, let's get in."

Chandler helped her into the hot tub, then climbed in himself. He took his glass of wine and handed her to her. "You know, we've only been together since this morning, and already I'm having a hard time keeping my mind off you. That bathing suit isn't helping much either."

She smiled and ran her hand over the water as she took a sip of wine. Something had been on her mind for a while, but she just now felt the ability to put it into words. "Chandler, can I ask you a question?"

"You can always ask me anything."

"Was Brooklyn the only woman you've ever been with?"

Chandler was silent for a long moment. "Yeah. We got together in high school and were together until she died. I haven't been with anyone since. It's been a long, long time." He smirked a little. "What about you?"

Brynn smiled. "Nico was my only one. But we haven't slept together in over a year. I got sick of knowing he was cheating on me, and I always worried that one day he was going to bring some disease home with him."

"That had to be a terrible burden to live with."

"One day I found out about another one of his escapades. I went to the doctor and had myself checked for all the STDs and AIDS. That was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, my feet up there in stirrups, the doctor and nurse acting like they needed to comfort me somehow, like something terrible had happened - and I guess it had. I mean, what wife goes for STD testing worried about what her husband might have given her?"

Chandler thought about Brooklyn and was again thankful that he had never cheated on her. He couldn't imagine what would drive a man to cheat on a woman he loved and put her in such a dangerous situation, not to mention the emotional upheaval.

"Since that time, I didn't let him touch me again," she said. "I was so scared waiting for the results of the tests, and that was enough to make me not want to go near him. To think that he was the one who put me through all that!"

"I can't imagine what it was like to have to wait for those tests to come back. I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that." Chandler pulled her closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her and comforted her.

"Well, it's over and I've moved on. Things have been much better since!" Brynn smiled.

"I do sincerely hope so!"

She put her wine glass on the ledge of the hot tub. Chandler took the cue from her and put his on the edge as she turned toward him.. She wrapped his arms around her waist and straddled his lap, putting her arms around his shoulders. He smiled up at her as she kissed his forehead, then his nose, then all over his face. When she found his lips, she began kissing him with all the passion that had been building up in her for those long, long months. When she deepened the kiss he moaned into her mouth, sending little butterflies into her stomach.

Chandler kissed her neck as one of his hands slid from her waist, up to cup one of her breasts. Brynn was the one who moaned this time, sending chills through his body. The fact that they had just acknowledged how long it had been for both of them seemed to heighten every sensation. There was so much heat and passion between them that soon they were lost in the feeling, kissing each other until they couldn't breathe, their bodies rubbing hard against each other. They were like teenagers, moving from one touch to another, driving their passion higher by teasing each other with the things they couldn't have just yet.

Chandler managed to move the small triangle of material from Brynn's breast. He looked at her, then looked up at her eyes with a smile. Slowly, teasing her with every breath, he took her bare nipple into his mouth. Brynn threw her head back and cried out in pleasure. Chandler reached up and pressed two fingers against her mouth, reminding her to be quiet, then continued what he was doing until she begged him for more. He gladly moved to her other nipple and gave it the same treatment until she began to rock her hips back and forth against him.

Chandler brought his lips back up to her neck and then captured her mouth again. He kissed her until she pushed him away so she could take in big gulps of air. They looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Should we be doing this, or should we stop?" Chandler whispered.

B
rynn groaned. Should they? Shouldn't they? Her body said one thing but her mind said another. She leaned her forehead against his and took deep breaths to get her emotions and body under control. "I want this right now, I want it bad, but is this how our first time together should be? Should there be more to it than just sex and a rush of hormones?"

"It feels so damn good," he said. "It feels so right."

"It does..."

Chandler cupped his hand over her cheek. "Brynn, I really like you, but maybe we should stop. Trust me, it's really hard for me to say this, but I don't think I am ready for this step."

"Isn't that supposed to be the woman's line?" Brynn asked, laughing. She smiled and looked into his eyes. She could see the lust, but there was pain there also, a surprising amount of it. She immediately realized that her laughter sounded coarse and rude in the midst of such a moment.

"I am so sorry. I'm not trying to mock you or anything. I've just never heard that come out of a guy's mouth before."

"Well, maybe you've never met a man who was in love with his wife before she was taken from him too early," Chandler said, his voice tinged with anger.

"Chandler, I didn't mean to disrespect you or her. I'm sorry."

He pushed her off his body. She floated to the other side of the hot tub. She pulled her bikini top up as she moved, suddenly feeling ashamed.

He stood up and got out of the hot tub, reaching for a towel.

"This was a big mistake," he said. "You were right, I wasn't ready for this."

"We can slow down...we are slowing down!"

He began to stalk away. "I'll talk to you later."

"Chandler, wait! I'm sorry. You don't have to leave," Brynn pleaded.

"Just send Willow home in the morning when she gets up. Don't bother calling first."

"Chandler! It just took me by surprise when you said..."

Chandler cut her off. "You know what, I don't want to hear it. I need to go." He turned and walked over to his house, slamming the back door shut when he got there.

Brynn sat in the hot tub in shock. She wasn't sure what had just happened between her and Chandler. One minute, everything was fine, and then the next minute, he was walking off. She replayed the whole conversation in her head, trying to get everything straightened out, but nothing was clicking. She didn't mean to sound rude when she laughed. She didn't mean to belittle him, but she wondered if she somehow had.

Brynn wiped some tears away as she stood and carefully climbed out of the hot tub. She wrapped a towel around her body and began to clean up the deck. She grabbed both glasses of wine from the edge of the hot tub and drained them into her mouth. She put the empty glasses on the table, and put the top back on the hot tub, the whole time still in a state of confusion.

She grabbed the rest of the wine, along with the empty glasses and headed back into the house. She sat at the breakfast bar, grabbed the phone, and dialed the number of the only person she thought she could talk to about this - Nyla.

"Ness, I really need to talk," Brynn said when Nyla answered the phone.

"Brynn? Is that you? You sound funny."

"Yes, it's me. I'm sorry to bother you if you're busy," Brynn said, trying to stop her crying. Instead of stopping, her tears came harder and faster.

"No, I'm not busy. Zaiden and I were just getting ready to watch a movie. What's up? Are you crying?"

"Yes!" Brynn sobbed, finally breaking down.

Nyla's voice changed instantly. She became the rock-solid friend ready to deal with any situation. "Brynn honey, calm down. Talk to me, okay? Are you hurt? Is Barrett okay?"

"We're fine. No one's hurt," Brynn choked out. She took a deep, shaky breath. "I think I just lost one of my best friends, though."

"Oh shit," Nyla said. "Chandler? What happened?"

Brynn spilled the story, every bit of it. She ended by telling her what happened in the hot tub, though she didn't tell her word for word what Chandler had said. It was something private between the two of them. Instead, she had just said that Chandler wasn't ready for sex, and that Brynn said it was something a woman would say.

"That is something a woman would say," Nyla concurred.

She told Nyla how he reacted, and left her sitting there all alone. "I am so afraid that I have lost him, not only as a potential boyfriend, but also as one of my best friends. What am I going to do Nyla?"

Brynn took a few more swigs of the wine bottle. It was nearly empty now, and Brynn was feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Well, first thing you're going to have to do is stop drinking. I can hear those deep gulps you're taking, and I'm damn sure that's not water. You're going to feel even worse in the morning if you keep going. Put it down, okay?"

Brynn put the almost-empty wine bottle on the counter and pushed it away.

"Next, you're going to have to give Chandler a few days to be by himself, and figure out what he's really feeling for you. Give him some time to work through his emotions. You are the first woman he's taken an interest in since his wife died, so this has to be a big adjustment for him. Maybe he just got spooked at how close he was to having sex with you. Maybe he felt like he was betraying Brooklyn. Either way, you need to give him some time."

"Giving him time is already hard and it's only been thirty minutes," she slurred.

"I know...but you have to do this. He has to figure this out on his own."

Brynn sighed. " Thanks Nyla, I owe you one."

"I'm amazed at how reasonable you're being after drinking so much, Brynn! I'd never be able to comprehend what I just told you if I had a bottle of wine to drink," Nyla laughed.

"Well, you might have to give me a call tomorrow, and refresh my memory about what you just told me," Brynn said. "Seriously, I'm not sure I can stand this, Nyla."

"You can, honey. And you will. You're stronger than you think you are. You were strong enough to get rid of that shitpile that was Nico," she said.

Brynn burst into laughter. "That rhymed!"

"And it was accurate, too!"

Brynn felt the tears coming again. "Good night, Nyla Have fun with Zaiden. And when you call me tomorrow, I want to know what's going on with you two, but not now."

"I'll call you tomorrow. Go to bed, but take some ibuprofen first."

Brynn promised she would and hung up the phone. She put the empty wine bottle in the garbage, then grabbed a water out of the fridge and headed upstairs.

When she got into her room, the first thing she did was take off her cold, wet bathing suit to put some warm pajamas on. Then she went to the bathroom and got out some Advil, swallowing the pills with a sip of water. She downed the rest of the water, just in case - she would have one hell of a hangover in a few hours.

After looking at herself in the mirror and seeing her red, puffy eyes, Brynn wet a washcloth with cold water and went to lie down in bed. She folded the cloth over her eyes, immediately soothing the burning sensation all the tears had caused. She slowly drifted off into a fitful sleep, filled with images of every guy that she had ever known leaving her.

In the house next door, Chandler was fighting a battle within himself. He hadn't meant to upset Brynn that way, and he felt bad for doing it. He watched her from his bedroom window as she cleaned up the deck. He knew that she was crying and it tugged at his heart to know that he was the cause of those tears she was shedding.