Operation Family (2 page)

“Now that the dangers of this war have touched my life, how am I supposed to put it behind me?”

“I don’t have all the answers.” He reached into his pocket for his wallet and grabbed one of the business cards he kept for cases like this. “I don’t think anyone does, but she can help.”

“I don’t need a counselor to tell me I’m a military wife, that I have to suck it up and be supportive.” She glanced down at the card but didn’t take it.

“I didn’t know they put it like that.” He tried to joke, but it fell flat. “Honestly, Helen is the best. She knows what you’re going through because she’s been there. For years, she was a military spouse, fearful of that knock on her door, until one day her fear came to life, and her husband was killed in Afghanistan. She counsels spouses in your position and she can help.”

The loudspeaker crackled to life, announcing their flight would be leaving soon. “Flight three seventy-five to Virginia Beach, Virginia will be boarding momentarily. Handicapped, families with children, and first class, if you will make your way to gate twenty-three we will begin.”

“Ma’am, take it.” He pressed the card into her hand, with the hope she’d make the call. “Over my years in the service I realized it’s not just the military members sacrificing, it’s also the family. You’ll make it through this because you have to—and you love your husband or you wouldn’t have committed to this life. He’s going to need your support now more than ever.”

He didn’t want to pressure her to make the call, but he wanted to make sure she had the card. In the end it would be her choice. Forcing someone to seek help they didn’t want did them no good, and only wasted the time of the counselor who could have been helping someone who really needed it. If anyone could help this young mother through the latest bump in the road, it would be Helen.

If she can help a worn-out, battle-hardened SEAL like me, she can help anyone.

Helen had forced him to look beyond his own guilt when he failed Troy, and look at the men who still needed him. There was no time for guilt when he had a squad counting on him to lead them. He had to pick the pieces up and get back to his duties. The cluster-fuck mission demanded he push his men harder, giving them more training. He couldn’t let his guard down if they were going to survive, and he was never going to let another one of his men die.

Nicole Ryan bounced one of the twins on her lap while gently rocking the baby bouncer seat with her foot. The poor sweet girls had no idea what was going on but they could feel the turmoil of the situation, and that was enough to make for a long sleepless night
again
. She had been the caregiver since the girls were born, but Shawn had always been there when she needed him, when things got harder. Now she was alone, so alone, with these two little lives depending on her at least until their guardian arrived.

Damn it, Shawn! How could you leave the girls to someone else when I’ve been there since the day you brought them home? I never even heard of this Mac García, and he’s never even visited his grandnieces. How is he a suitable guardian?

Knowing she was going to lose these two precious girls in a matter of days broke her heart. She wouldn’t even be able to see them often; they’d be across the country in Virginia. Mac would dash in and take the girls away to their new life, while she was expected to pick up the pieces and forget them. She had been there every day for six months, day and night, like a mother to the girls.

She was only the nanny. It’s not as if she could really love the girls.
The neighbor’s rude comment at Shawn’s funeral cut through her like broken glass. No one understood how she felt about the girls. How could they?
They
hadn’t moved in to help after their mother had died in childbirth. There was no way Shawn could have managed twins without assistance.

If she had to blame someone for the pain she was suffering, she’d blame Shawn. He brought her into his home, let her take the place of mother to the girls, and then expected her to give them up to someone they’d never even met. She hadn’t even heard of Mac until the will was read. How was he supposed to deal with twin girls when he was a bachelor and in the military?

“I’m not giving up on you girls without a fight.” She pressed her lips to Gabriella’s head, breathing in the baby scent mixed with the sweet lavender from the earlier bath. “You’re all that’s left of Shawn and he wanted so much for both of you.”

With Sophia nearly asleep and Gabriella’s eyes fluttering shut, she rose from the nursery rocker and stepped closer to the crib. “Come, my sweet child. Let’s put you to bed.” She laid the little girl in the crib, making sure to leave enough room to place Sophia next to her.

They had just begun separating the twins, forcing them into their own cribs since they were six months old and space was starting to become an issue. Since Shawn’s death, they needed the comfort of being close. It had been the only way she’d been able to get them to sleep more than a short period. She had given in, seeing no other option. The girls needed each other. When things calmed down, she’d hoped to return them to their own cribs—at least she’d planned it that way until the will was read. Now it was Mac’s problem.

She lifted Sophia from the bouncing seat, and the sleeping child’s eyelids sprang open. “It’s all right, sweetie. I’m going to put you to bed with your sister.” Instead of placing her directly into the crib, she took a brief moment to snuggle the little girl tight against her chest. The children could be a handful at times but they were adorable, with their dark brown hair and sea green eyes that seemed to look directly into her soul.

With newfound determination, she swallowed the lump that had formed and laid Sophia down next to her sister. “Sleep tight, darlings. I’m going to make a call and try to keep us together.” As if approving of the idea, Sophia let out a little giggle before snuggling next to Gabriella and letting her eyes close again.

Shawn, how you could have thought anyone could love these girls more than me, I’ll never understand.
She padded down the hall toward his office where she knew she’d find the number for Mr. Batty, the lawyer who handled Shawn’s will. He would know if she had any ground to stand on when it came to retaining custody of the twins, or at the very least having visitations so she wouldn’t lose contact with them.

The office still held the scent of Shawn, his crisp, fresh cologne mixing with the lingering stench of coffee. She never understood how he had managed to drink so much of it, when the smell alone churned her stomach. The large oak desk that dominated the room was where he’d spent the majority of his time when he wasn’t with the girls. It was the one room she had only been in occasionally, and now that he was gone, it felt like she was invading his privacy.

Not wanting to linger, she made her way to the desk, where the leather bound planner and address book sat. She sank down on the expensive leather chair, quickly turning the pages in the book to find Mr. Batty in the address section, before her gaze moved to the papers that still cluttered his desk.

I should go through this before Mac arrives and finish getting the house ready for him, for whatever he decides to do.
She had serious doubt he’d want to keep it. What use would he have for a house in a small town in Texas, when he lived in Virginia Beach? She brought the phone to her ear and dialed Mr. Batty’s cell number, since it was too late to catch him in the office on a Friday.

On the second ring, he answered. “Evening, Nicole. Is everything okay?”

She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. One of the best things about living in a small town was the closeness of the residents. “I need legal advice.”

“I figured you’d call me when you were ready. You want to fight for the girls, don’t you?”

The way he asked it, she could almost picture the older man behind his desk, surrounded by briefs, law books, and paperwork. “Do I have any grounds? I’ve been a part of their lives since they came home from the hospital. To hand them over to someone I didn’t even know existed seems wrong with all they’ve been through. Shawn never even mentioned he had an uncle. Can he even take care of the girls with his career? Is it really what’s best for them?”

“The law normally sides with blood relations, but they will take into consideration whatever is best for the children. In order for the uncle to maintain his career and have custody of the girls he will need to make arrangements for their care when he’s on duty or deployed.” She heard a glass clink against wood in the background. “All I can tell you is he’ll be notified when he arrives back from the training session, and that he should be in touch with us by Monday or Tuesday. How about I come out to the house Monday morning to discuss your options? Gaining custody of the children will not give you the finances or the house. Those will still be willed to Lieutenant Commander García. You’ll need to see if you have the means to raise the children on your own.”

“I don’t care about the money, though I admit it would be nice not to have to find a new place and shake up the girls’ lives more. Still, we’d deal with it. Thank you, Mr. Batty. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“If it’s any consolation, Shawn had the will prepared days after the girls were born. There was no one else he could have granted custody to at the time, and that will work for us. We’ll see what we can do to keep the twins right here in Texas,” Mr. Batty vowed before hanging up the phone.

She had a chance. That should have lifted the weight and tension, but it only made sadness join the rest of her issues. Mac might have been a good guy, one who could have been a good father to the girls…when he was home. She wouldn’t deny the girls needed a father, but she couldn’t give them up without a fight. She needed to at least try to give them the stable home they deserved, without more changes.

With the girls sleeping, she knew she should be doing the same. Instead, she powered on Shawn’s laptop to look at the wanted ads. Before she took the job as the twins’ nanny, she had been an accountant, burned out from the long hours and stressful clients. Surely she could find some accountant jobs she could do from home in between caring for the twins if she was able to get custody of them. The locals who needed accounting done could come here, or wherever she ended up living. Things were going to work out; she’d see to it. The girls were depending on her.

It was just after two in the morning when the twins’ wails pulled Nicole from the first decent sleep she’d had in days, and the first dream she’d had that wasn’t wrapped around Shawn’s death. She slipped out of bed, grabbing her robe as she quickly made her way to the adjoining nursery. When she took the nanny position, Shawn had insisted she take the master bedroom since the nursery was closest to it, while he took another room farther down the hall by his office. It allowed her to be easily available anytime the twins needed her. Practical as it might have been, it was also sweet of him. In his own house he had taken a smaller room, and that, like so many other things, showed what a good person he was.

She’d make sure the girls knew their father was an outstanding man. He’d always been willing to drop everything at a moment’s notice for someone in need, or give the shirt off his back to a friend. Shawn was an honorable man, one she grieved for every moment of the day. She grieved for herself and for the twins, who were orphans now.

She should be the one raising the girls to teach them of their father, even what little she knew about their mother. Mac knew nothing of the girls parents. How could they grow up knowing their parents loved them if they were raised by someone who didn’t even know them? It sickened her, the hand life had dealt them at only six months of age. It was horrible.

“What’s wrong, my beautiful girls?” She reached in and plucked out Sophia, who had most likely started the wailing, as she normally did each night. The middle of the night was when Shawn usually snuck in for a quick cuddle with the girls if they woke; it was the one time he was with them when he didn’t have to worry about his cell phone ringing with some business transaction that needed his attention.

“You miss Daddy’s visits, don’t you?” As if in answer, Sophia’s cries grew louder. “I know, my sweet girl. I miss him too. Your mommy and daddy are in Heaven watching over you.” She smoothed her hand over the girl’s back, trying to get her cries to subside. Gabriella had already lain back down, looking up at Nicole with her big green eyes.

“We’re going to get through this,” she promised, bouncing Sophia gently as the child cuddled against her chest.