Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage (26 page)

1. Helen Fisher, PhD,
   Anatomy of Love
   :
   A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray
   (New York: Random House, 1992), 86.
   

2. Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin,
   Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
   (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Co., 1948), 409.
   

3. Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill,
   Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples
   (New York: Avon Books, 1972), 236.
   

4. Ibid., 237.

1. David P. Barash, PhD, and Judith Eve Lipton, MD,
   The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People
   (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 2001), 21.
   

2. Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill,
   Open Marriage,
   254.
   

3. Hilda Hutcherson, MD, “10 Sex Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself,”
   Glamour
   magazine, September 2007, 385.
   

4. E. J. Graff,
   What Is Marriage For?
   (Boston: Beacon Press, 1999), 35.
   

5. Susan Faludi,
   Backlash
   (New York: Crown Publishers, 1991), 160–61.
   

10. Ibid., 161.

11. Graff,
What Is Marriage For?,
98

12. Ibid., 96.

1. Barash and Lipton,
   The Myth of Monogamy,
   2, 4.
   

2. Ibid., 1.
   

3. bell hooks, “Subversive Desire,”
   Ms.
   magazine, April/May 1999, 58.
   

4. Fisher,
   Anatomy of Love,
   76.
   

5. Kipnis,
   Against Love,
   188.
   

6. Jennifer Baumgardner, “Why more girls are dating . . . girls,”
   

   Glamour,
   March 2007, 174.
   

7. Anne Kingston,
   The Meaning of Wife
   (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2004), 7.
   

Chapter 3. Just Pick Someone Already

1. Fisher,
   Anatomy of Love,
   163.
   

2. Valenti,
   Full Frontal Feminism,
   211.
   

3. Anne Kingston,
   The Meaning of Wife
   (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2004), 117.
   

4. Kipnis,
   Against Love,
   18.
   

5. Carol Lloyd, “I want you so bad: Now that our president has confessed to adultery, will the American people follow him to the pillory?” Salon.com, August 26, 1998.
   

6. Iris Krasnow,
   Surrendering to Marriage
   (New York: Hyperion Books, 2002), 140.
   

7. Ibid., 23.

Chapter 4. Everyone Else Manages to Do It, Why Can’t I?

1. Fisher,
   Anatomy of Love,
   298.
   

2. Barash and Lipton,
   The Myth of Monogamy,
   2.
   

3. Barash, “Deflating the Myth of Monogamy,”
   Chronicle of Higher Education,
   April 20, 2001, B16–17.
   

4. Ker Than, “Scientists Study Factors Behind Fidelity,” MSNBC, November 20, 2006, www.msnbc.msn.com.
   

5. Stephanie Coontz,
   Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage
   

   (New York: Penguin Books, 2005), 6.
   

6. Ibid., 7.
   

7. Kipnis,
   Against Love,
   60. 8. Ibid., 61.
   

1. Peggy Vaughan, “Who Has Affairs—and Why,” DearPeggy.com, www.dearpeggy.com/affairs.html.
   

2. Ibid.
   

3. Stephany Alexander, “Cheating and Infidelity Statistics: Are Men Cheating More Than Women?” WomanSavers.com,
   www. womansavers.com/Cheating-Infidelity-statistics.asp.
   

4. Alexander, “Sex and Relationship Polls,” WomanSavers.com,
   www. womansavers.com/relationship-polls.asp.
   

5. Baumgardner,
   Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics
   (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2007), 78.
   

6. Kinsey and others,
   Sexual Behavior in the Human Male;
   Kinsey and others,
   Sexual Behavior in the Human Female
   (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Co., 1953).
   

Chapter 5. This Is a Test

1. Polyamorous Percolations, September 21, 2007,
   www. polyinthemedia.blogspot.com.
   

2. Michelle Chihara, “Multi-Player Option: Young polyamorists are rewriting the laws of desire,” Nerve.com, June 8, 2004, www.nerve. com/dispatches/multiplayeroption.
   

3. Ibid.
   

Chapter 6. Having Our Cake and Eating It, Too

1. Kipnis,
   Against Love,
   132.
   

2. Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt,
   The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
   (San Francisco: Greenery Press, 1997), 23.
   

3. Jenny Block, “Portrait of an Open Marriage: Jenny Block reveals an unconventional marriage arrangement that worked,” TangoMag. com, November 28, 2006, www.tangomag.com.
   

4. Block, “Portrait of an Open Marriage,” HuffingtonPost.com, November 28, 2006, www.huffingtonpost.com/jenny-block.
   

5. Patrick Carnes, PhD, “Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict” (Minneapolis: CompCare Publishers, 1989), 5–6.
   

6. Annie Sprinkle, “Sex Addiction,” AnnieSprinkle.org, www.annie sprinkle.org/html/writings.
   

7. Block, “Portrait of an Open Marriage.”
   

8. Ibid.
   

9. Stephen A. Mitchell,
   Can Love Last?
   (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2002), 104.
   

10. Graff,
    What Is Marriage For?,
    82. 11. Ibid., 103.
    

Chapter 7. You Can’t Run Out of Love

1. Lisa Diamond, “Development of sexual orientation among adolescent and young adult women,”
   Developmental Psychology
   34 (1998): 1,085–95.
   

2. Diamond,
   Sexual Fluidity
   (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2008). This information is compiled from reviews and descriptions from Harvard University Press and Amazon.com, www.hup. harvard.edu and www.amazon.com.
   

3. Baumgardner,
   Look Both Ways,
   10.
   

4. Jeannine DeLombard, “Femmenism,” in
   To Be Real,
   ed. Rebecca Walker (New York: Anchor Books, 1995), 28.
   

5. Ibid.
   

6. Baumgardner,
   Look Both Ways,
   170. 7. Ibid., 50.
   

8. Kinsey,
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,
639.

Chapter 8. It’s Not Necessarily What You Think

1. Olive Skene Johnson, PhD,
   The Sexual Spectrum: Why We’re All Different
   (Vancouver: Raincoast Books, 2004), 214.
   

2. Bernard Gert, “The Definition of Morality,” in
   The Stanford University Encyclopedia of Philosophy
   (fall 2005 edition), ed. Edward N. Zalta, http://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2005.
   

3. Easton and Liszt,
   The Ethical Slut,
   4.
   

4. Albert Einstein, “Religion and Science,”
   New York Times Magazine,
   

   November 9, 1930.
   

5. Easton and Liszt,
   The Ethical Slut,
   4.
   

6. Miriam Axel Lute, “And Baby Makes Four: My daughter has two moms, one dad, and no complaints,” Babble.com, www.babble.com.
   

7. Ibid.
   

8. Ibid.
   

9. Krasnow,
   Surrendering to Marriage,
   13. 10. Ibid., 174.
   

1. Judy Syfers, “Why I Want a Wife,”
   Ms.
   magazine, spring 1972, 144.
   

2. Amy Cunningham, “Why Women Smile,” in
   The Writer’s Presence
   

(New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2003), 336.

13. Ibid., 337.

1. Russell Goldman, “Are Open Marriages More Successful Than Traditional Couplings? A New Generation Tries Swinging, but Leaves the Leisure Suits in the Closet,” ABC News, August 10, 2007, www.abcnews.go.com/US/LifeStages.
   

2. Deborah Anapol, ABC News, August 10, 2007, www.abcnews. go.com/US/LifeStages.
   

Chapter 10. Our Very Own Happily Ever After

1. “Growth of Infidelity in the United States,”
New York Times,
August 9, 1854.

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