Only Vampires Cry Blood (3 page)

“You know Shaz would kill me,” I said, more to convince myself than him. “I don't want her anyway. Not like that.” The thought of tasting Casey, biting into her, didn't really appeal to me. It sounded great in theory, but that was where that fantastic idea ended.

Walking away and leaving her standing outside Lucy's Lounge wasn't all that easy.

My insecurities demanded that I ensure she didn't go back inside. However, I had to trust Shaz no matter how little I trusted her. I kept walking until I reached my car, never allowing myself another look back. It was agony.

Actually, a sadistic little part of me toyed with the idea of offering her a ride home. I could just imagine the snarky retort it would earn me. Instead, I tore out of the lot with a squeal of tires and the smell of burnt rubber.

The jaunt across town to my house took less than ten minutes. It still felt strange pulling into the rich golf course neighborhood. After several months, I still wasn't used to living in this section of town. It had been hard to accept the large house as my own.

Raoul Roberts, my former Alpha and lover, had left it to me in his will. I had watched as his daughter killed him in the backyard. It was something that haunted me daily because I couldn't let go of the pain and confusing regret. Not only had Raoul been the first man I'd given my heart and body to, he had also waited until his death to reveal to me through a letter that he was responsible for the attack that turned me. I still struggled to come to terms with it, but it was getting easier as time went on—except for the whole not being able to tear him apart myself aspect.

The house was dark when we pulled up, just as I'd left it. Most of the neighbors were older professionals that kept to themselves. It worked for me, but I did desperately miss the forest out my back door.

My old place, the one I'd shared with my best friend and fellow werewolf Kylarai, was the perfect spot for all wolves. The backyard led right into the rural forest area surrounding town. Even though it was only a few minutes away, I missed it as if it were hours instead. I visited frequently.

The emotional anxiety that stemmed from seeing Casey ate at me. I shoved the front door open with more force than necessary. She was nothing to me, and yet I was letting the entire scenario affect my mood.

Arys began flicking lights on, completely at home in my house, probably more so than I was. I watched as he walked through the house, admiring how perfect he was when he didn't know I was looking. I leisurely removed my shoes and sweater before slowly following him into the kitchen.

The need to talk to him nagged me. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject, but the last thing I wanted was for it all to take a bitter turn. My skin began to burn, and I took a shaky breath.

Strong arms went around me as Arys pulled me forcefully into a comforting embrace. He knew me well and was prepared for my resistance. When I made as if to pull away, he tightened his hold on me.

“What's wrong with you, my wolf? Your anxiety is driving me mad.” His lips brushed my ear, and there was a twinge in my stomach in response. “Tell me what's on your mind.”

I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. Inhaling his mixed scent of cologne, hair products and Lucy's Lounge, I sighed and let the resulting sensations wash over me. The power rose between us, as it always did, our two mingling to become one. Sometimes I thought I would never get used to this, no matter how much time passed. The strength of the pull between us seemed to grow with every touch.

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Your energy is toxic. It's making me feeling jumpy. Start talking.” Despite his words, he continued to kiss his way from my ear down the side of my neck, hitting my ticklish spot along the way. I laughed softly and pressed against him, pleased when I felt his body respond to me.

“How can I talk when you're doing that?” I asked. When his fangs scraped along my sensitive flesh, the resulting quiver of heat throughout my body swept the concerns from my mind. It wasn't hard to forget my own name when Arys had his hands on me.

“Ok, let's talk after.” Capturing my lips with his, he thrust his tongue into my mouth.

The moist heat and the slightly bloody taste of him got my beast pacing impatiently inside me. I was on fire with the overwhelming power I'd called during my hunt earlier.

The need to expend it was strong, unbearably so.

If I waited to bring up my worries, it would be even worse. This wasn't going to be pretty, but it had to be done. I needed to be able to live with myself and the power at my disposal. It was nothing but agony, almost a physical pain, but I broke off the mind-blowing kiss and pulled back.

“Wait. Arys, I do need to talk to you. Something has been bothering me. I should just spit it out now.” I searched his ocean eyes, finding a flicker of awareness within their depths. He knew what was coming. I cringed inwardly.

He nodded, taking a step back but refusing to release me entirely. “This is more power talk, isn't it? The never ending search for answers.”

“What search?” I asked, a frown creasing my brow. “I haven't gotten any answers at all. I'd hardly call that a search.”

Arys gazed down at me, and my heart fluttered. He said nothing, waiting with a virtuous patience that I didn't possess. My skin tingled as his hands slid down my arms until our fingers were entwined. I expected him to argue right away or tell me I was being ridiculous. It unnerved me when he continued to watch me silently.

“I feel like I am barely in control of myself anymore,” I went on, hoping to sound casual when, to me, I just sounded scared. “I try to pull off something small, and it booms bigger than intended. Or, I go for the big bang, and it falls flat when I'm relying on it to be my defense. It's bullshit, Arys. Everything I hold inside me seeks to be the one in charge. If I don't do something about that, it's going to take over everything that I am.”

I realized how tightly I was squeezing his hands, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes never left my face. “You know I don't want this to be so painful for you.” He reached to brush my hair back before tracing the outline of my bottom lip. “I agree. There has to be a solution. Having this kind of power isn't natural for a mortal. But, it has lived in you for some time now, and I believe that you are more than capable of handling it.”

“That's just it, Arys. I don't know how to handle it. Obviously, you can only show me so much. It isn't the same for both of us.”

“Well,” he eyed me skeptically. “When you find that magical, all-knowing person you seem to think is out there, be sure to ask them if they know much about vampires that have a wolf trying to shred its way from their body every full moon.”

I pulled away from him completely, crossing my arms over my chest. Flashing him a look of irritation, I turned my back on him and paced the length of the room. “I know this goes both ways, but it’s funny how you always say shit like that, as if it's something you can pin on me. Let's not go back to the finger pointing. That could get ugly.”

I didn't have to look at him to know his temper was starting to simmer. I was easily the far shorter tempered of the two of us, but his energy prickled with a heat that could only be anger.

“I'm not blaming you for anything, Alexa. I think you want me to, though, because it gives you an excuse to be pissy and defensive. I'm just reminding you that you're not the only one that suffers.”

A frustrated growl rumbled low in my throat. Doubtless, he heard it from where he stood on the other side of the kitchen. “I know you suffer, too. Give me some credit for not being completely heartless. But, you have control over your power and abilities when faced with a dangerous situation. I don't, and it scares the hell out of me. I am not ready to die.”

“Die?” His tone dropped. Low, smooth as silk on bare skin, his voice seemed to stroke me somewhere deep down. “Your death is nothing more than a hindrance, an inevitable burden to be cast off when the time comes. If I didn't know better, I would say that you are regretting your hasty decision to bind yourself to me. Forever isn't looking so good now, is it?”

My temper flared, and I whirled to face him. “What's with the cheap shot? That's not fair.” It wasn't. Did I second-guess the choice I had made to form a blood bond with Arys? Of course, it was only natural. But, did I regret it? Never.

I stared at him, fighting to keep the emotion from my face. Running a hand through his perfectly messy hair, he didn't meet my eyes but instead glanced at the floor. “I'm an asshole. That never should have come out like that. I'm sorry.”

For a moment, I wasn't sure what to say, but as long as he was feeling apologetic, I might as well throw it all out there. “Harley said that I was more powerful than he is. Yet, when things got crazy, I had nothing. He was still able to manipulate me because he knew my power better than I did. And, we both know how close that came to ending very badly.”

I sucked in my breath with a small gasp when the energy surrounding us grew sharp, almost painful as it reacted to Arys' emotions. His head snapped up, and the look he gave me was chilling. Aw, fuck.

“What are you saying, Alexa?” One foot in front of the other, he slowly advanced on me. I had the urge to take a step back. “Please, do not tell me you're getting at what I think you're getting at.”

My voice shook when I spoke. I was terrified of his reaction when I said, “He's the only one who knows enough to help me.”

The air crackled, and I jumped when Arys slammed his fist down on the counter. A drinking glass next to the sink practically flew into the air before smashing all over the floor. The sound was worse than the actual mess.

The sound of shattering glass flashed me back in time – to the day Raoul died, and my eyes automatically went to the glass patio doors off the kitchen. Arys himself had thrown me through the sliding glass doors. It hadn't been his intention. My injuries had been brutal, but I'd lived to tell the story. Lucky me.

“Fuck that!” He snapped. “There is no way that he's the only one. Whatever you're thinking, just stop. Don't tell me that you believe anything he said to you. Do you?”

I had to concentrate on taking deep breaths as I tried to shut out the effect his negative energy was having on me. It hurt, but it also encouraged my wolf to break free of the metaphysical overload. As I fought back the instinct to shift forms, I watched Arys'

eerie vampire eyes change.

The color grew to encompass the whites until he looked at me with eyes that were all wolf. Our bond had done that to him, given him a connection with my wolf, one that he could never be free of but also could never fulfill. Arys couldn’t shift forms. I had never seen him like this. Shaz had, once. This wasn't a good sign.

“Arys, you need to calm down.”

“And, you need to answer my question.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and I studied him, looking for any sign of the wolf overpowering him. He seemed to have himself under control other than that little outburst. His fists continuously clenched and unclenched at his sides. The storm of his emotions battered me, try as I might to shield myself from them.

“I believe what I saw. He was able to take the power from me and then laugh at my inexperience.” I closed my eyes in memory for just a moment, reliving the helpless feeling when Harley had me right where he wanted me, his fangs buried in my throat. “I thought I was dead that night. I almost was. Walking around like a loaded gun without a safety is going to get me killed.”

I may have been destined to rise as a vampire upon my death, but that didn't mean I had to be in a hurry. Werewolves live two to three times as long as humans do. I wanted to enjoy every moment. I had so much vampire in me already, and I was not ready for any more just yet.

When Arys turned away from me, breaking eye contact, my heart dropped. I could feel his stubborn resolve almost as keenly as if it had been my own. He muttered a series of curse words, and the power began to buzz audibly. It was pushing me to the edge of my control. I wasn't sure how much more I could take tonight.

The silence became a deafening roar of white noise. The lights dimmed and brightened in sequence, and I focused hard on staying calm. We'd destroyed enough things to know when the power was growing beyond a safe capacity. I didn't want to deal with it, but unfortunately, our power was part of every moment that Arys and I shared.

“Stay away from him, Alexa.” His voice would have been soothing had it not been for the hint of menace underlying it. “I'm not asking.”

My heart jumped as fear coursed through me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Did he just threaten me?

“What if I'm not asking either?” The words boldly spilled from my lips, driven by the she-wolf inside me that refused to be controlled by a man who was not my wolf mate.

“I don't need your permission for anything.”

Now I'd really done it. I braced myself, expecting him to unleash his anger all over me. Instead, he faced me with a strange sadness in his gaze where there should have been fury. I was confused by the change in what he was giving off as it touched me, enveloping me in the sorrow of the undead.

Moving carefully through the shattered glass, Arys closed the space between us. I truly didn't know what to expect. So, when he roughly pulled me into his arms and kissed me with a depth and passion that caused my breath to catch, I was speechless.