Only Uni (45 page)

Kazuo was right on her heels. “Good-bye.”

The door closed with a solid
thunk.
Trish stared at it for a moment. The silence seemed out of place for a moment.

She took a deep breath and clutched her hands around her midsection, waiting for her heart rate to climb back down. She’d really done it. All by herself.

She’d defeated a dragon.

At least they weren’t carrying rotten tomatoes.

As Ed finished the last song before he could dismiss the congregation, Trish’s heart thudded like someone taking a mallet to her breastbone. She almost rubbed her palms against her slacks, until she remembered these were new and she didn’t want sweat stains on them.

She’d been pretty cavalier with Grandma about people shunning her mother, but visions of people snubbing her on the street had kept her awake last night. She didn’t like it when people didn’t like her. She knew in her head that not everyone would be her friend, but she didn’t want people who previously thought she was a nice Christian girl to suddenly treat her like a leper.

She didn’t need to do this. She could do this later. Or she could go privately to the pastor and tell him first, and maybe he could make the announcement to the congregation. It wouldn’t be as bad, coming from him, right? Or maybe he’d tell her to leave the church and the congregation would never need to know why.

Except that for the past few days during her Bible-reading and prayer time, she’d felt like she needed to do this. In front of everybody, not hiding behind the pastor. Funny, it seemed like she heard God a lot clearer these days.

“Let’s pray.” Ed bowed his head.

She sighed. “I don’t want to do this.”

Her words resonated clearly through the speakers and out over the hushed congregation.

What?
She thought her microphone was off. When had Spenser turned it on? Why hadn’t he told her before she made a complete idiot of herself in front of the church again?

Her gaze spat sparks as she found Spenser way at the back in the balcony with the sound board. He gave a
What do you expect me to do now?
gesture.

Ed cleared his throat and started the prayer.

Her legs jiggled as she stood there, waiting for the prayer to end. Could she really do this? Did God really want her to do this? Well, if He wanted her to do this, maybe He’d make it turn out okay and the congregation wouldn’t turn their collective backs on the Fallen Woman.

“Amen.”

Oh man, oh man, oh man. Maybe Ed would forget she’d asked to say something after the prayer . . .

“Before we’re dismissed, we have an announcement from one of our newest worship team members, Trish.”

Rats.

She reached for Olivia’s mic before remembering hers was hot. How could she have forgotten to easily? She must really be losing it.

“Um . . . hi. I’m Trish Sakai.”

Now what? The pretty speech she’d memorized had dribbled out of her ear.

“Uh . . . okay. Before I came to this church, I was really bad.”
Oh, that was eloquent.
“Really, really bad.”
You’re making it worse.
“I did things I’m not proud of.”
Okay, maybe now you’re getting somewhere.

“Then I repented.”
Good word.
“And I joined this church, and I really like it here. A lot.”
You’re back to idiot-speak.

“Now . . .” She took a few heavy breaths.
Courage
. “I’m forgiven, but I still have to face the consequences of what I did. I’m pregnant, about two months.”

All she heard was a baby squeal faintly from the nursery. Ironic.

“The baby’s father isn’t a Christian, and he doesn’t want to have kids.”
At least not until he stops watching K-dramas.
“So I’m going to keep the baby and raise it alone. I wanted to let you know before I started to show so you wouldn’t wonder about it.”
Or gossip, or snub me, or anything depressing like that.

There was a rustle from the side of the sanctuary. Oh, no. People were going to leave their seats and walk out in protest that she was a member of the church and on the worship team and . . .

No, it was the pastor coming back on stage. That was even worse. He’d denounce her in front of the entire congregation and tell them to never speak to her because they wouldn’t want the stain of her sin to rub off on any of their pure singles or teens.

“You’re very brave to tell us, Trish.”

Yeah, but . . . ?

“I’m very proud of you.”

Really?

“I want to pray for you now. Let’s pray.

“Dear heavenly Father, thank you that Trish is now part of our family.”

Oh man, she was going to start bawling up here in front of everybody.

“Thank you for the precious life growing inside her. We pray for good health for both of them. She has a difficult season ahead of her, raising a child alone. Give us wisdom to know how we can each help her and support her.”

Trish didn’t hear the rest because her heart kept repeating “help her and support her.” She wasn’t being kicked out. Some people might feel she should be, but if the pastor supported her, she wouldn’t hear about it, and really, that was fine with her. She was such a coward.

“Amen.”

Olivia embraced her before the pastor had even finished speaking. “You did good, girl.”

She nodded into her shoulder.

The pastor dismissed the congregation, and as they were breaking down equipment, Griselle came running up the steps to the stage. She barreled into Trish and nearly cut off her air supply with her hug. “You’re so brave.”

“Urk.”

She noticed a few women following Griselle up the stage. “Um, Trish?”

She extricated herself from Griselle and approached them warily. “Hi.”

The shorter of the two girls burst into tears.

Oh, no. This was not looking good. “Uh . . . Are you okay?”

“You’re so fearless,” she sobbed.

“Huh?”

“You worship with such abandon.” The other girl gestured to the rest of the worship team. “The worship sets have been so great. And now you’re going to have a baby on your own, and you announced it in front of the entire congregation.”

Put like that, it made Trish wonder what she’d been smoking to even contemplate doing what she’d just done. Whew. Good thing it was over with.

“You’re such an inspiration.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Trish held up her hands. “This isn’t a virgin birth, you know.”

“We know.” She giggled.

“And I’m not condoning sex before marriage.” She pinned the two girls with a fierce gaze.

Their faces fell. “Oh. Really?”

Dingbats.

THIRTY-SIX

One month later

Spenser bullied her into running with him on Monday.

Trish dug her heels in as he pulled her toward the door. “I’m pregnant.”

“You ran last week.”

Rats, he remembered. “It’s a hundred degrees outside. Wait until it cools down.”

“It’s only eighty, I checked. Perfect for running.”

“It’s lunchtime. It’ll be crowded with everyone else jogging.”

“So? You can’t breathe enough to talk to anyone anyway.”

“Grrrr . . .” But in pausing to growl, she loosened her hold on the doorframe and Spenser yanked her outside.

He even let her set the pace. She dragged herself along in the humidity, stifling after the recent rain and like sloshing through hot soup. The direct sunlight stung her skin, but the temperature didn’t seem much cooler even under the dappled shade. They headed down the concrete path, with sprinkler-fed green grass on the side closest to the research buildings and the early spring wildflowers on the side next to the street.

Trish panted like a dog, so Spenser did most of the talking. “How’re things at your new place?”

“Okay.”

“Got everything unpacked?”

Trish nodded. “Thanks . . . helping . . . move.”

“No prob. I’m glad you found something.”

So was she. Strange how she had suddenly found the perfect apartment at the perfect price. She knew now God wasn’t her personal genie, but she had thanked Him and jumped on the place nonetheless.

“Did your parents get back from their vacation yet?”

“No.” Trish had almost had a heart attack herself. The fact they’d decided to go on a cruise had been enough to shock her — although it had also made a calming warmth settle in her chest to see them vacation together for the first time in years, to see them so happy in each other’s company. Then they’d called her last week to say they were extending their time in the Bahamas another two weeks.

“Kevin has a new girlfriend.”

“Wha-ha?”

“I saw them together at lunch. The tiniest Asian girl I’ve ever seen.”

How nice for him to rub in that she herself was getting larger. “Happy . . . for him.”

“Really?” He actually seemed concerned.

“Why . . . not?”

“You’ve seemed kind of down the past month. Not happy.”

He would be too, with his body gaining weight like a fiend, his hormones all out of whack, and his dating life down the toilet.

Oh, and Grandma was still not talking to her, although the sting of that had started to ease. Lex and Venus kept reminding her that being on Grandma’s Ignore List was a good thing. “Oh?”

“I know what’ll cheer you up.”

“Sushi?” Man, she missed it.

“No, no raw fish. Even I know that’s bad for pregnant women.” Spenser cleared his throat. “How about dinner with me?”

Trish ground to a halt, but her lungs heaved so much she couldn’t speak at first. She pierced him with a glare like a dagger. “You big . . .dork!”

He looked like he’d suddenly landed on the Planet of the Apes.

“What’s wrong?”

“All . . . month . . . nothing!” Not even a hint of interest. She’d finally gotten used to the idea that he’d never be interested. She didn’t want to get her hopes up again.

His eyes softened, and she had that feeling again that his gaze wrapped around her like a blanket. “I know. I was waiting.”

“For what?” As soon as she got her breath back, she was going to sock him one.

“I had to know how I felt about you.”

She stared at the grass. Her breath roared in her ears. Did this really mean what she thought it meant? “And?”

“I needed to know I liked you apart from the mess with Kazuo. I needed to know I’d be okay with the baby. I needed to know if this was serious, because I didn’t want you to be just another girlfriend.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

She hadn’t realized how close he stood until he clasped her upper arms, his thumbs working in gentle circles against her skin. Her breathing quickened. The musk of his cologne smelled stronger now in the sunlight. She saw the awareness in his eyes. The desire tensed the air between them and caused a delicious fluttering in her stomach.

This was Spenser. Hunky, annoying, growling, glowering, glaring, teasing Spenser. Touching her and making her insides feel molten and trembly.

His eyes burned with something she’d never seen in them before. “I’ve prayed about it, and I’m ready to start dating seriously.”

His face bent lower, and she closed her eyes as his breath caressed her cheek, feathering her ear. “I’d like to date you seriously, Trish.”

She felt his lips, warm and smooth, against her mouth. He pulled on her lower lip, floated a kiss at the corner, and then pressed his kiss full upon her, firm and purposeful. She kept her eyes closed, feeling his mouth follow along her jaw, before planting a soft kiss below her ear.

“Are you free tonight?” His whisper tickled her earlobe.

Her heart pounded as if she’d sprinted a mile. His hands pressed on her arms, his fingers circled in a mesmerizing motion against her skin. His mouth wooed her with soft kisses on her neck. She was intensely aware of his body as he leaned close to her, his accelerated breathing, the pulsing of his heartbeat.

This was Spenser, her friend. Who had mopped up her tears with his handkerchiefs, who knew about her past (very bad) love life, her erratic moods, her annoying quirks. Oh, and her unborn child. Who stood seducing her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world.