Only One (Ward Sisters Book 2) (41 page)

“I took it off the wall because it didn't have a place in our bedroom. I should have taken the time to get rid of it, but I'd forgotten in all the excitement.”

“Do you love her?”

“What?”

“Nina. Do you love her?”

“No, baby. I love you.”

Jenna nodded. “I know that, Liam. I believe you love me. But I have to wonder if you love her, too. The day of Rob's wedding, I saw her run back from the beach after you'd gone down there. She was crying. Did you tell her that you love her?”

He sighed. “No. But I did tell her that I could have fallen in love with her. I'm sorry. I know I said I would have left her no matter what, but it would have been a lot harder to do if you weren't pregnant.”

Jenna's eyes watered. “Do you wish you hadn't asked me to marry you?” she whispered.

“Baby, don't think that. Not for a second,” he said as he knelt in front of her.

She got up, walked to her dresser and opened her jewelry box. When she plucked her engagement ring out of the velvet, she handed it to him.

“I haven't been wearing it since my surgery because my hands were swollen. I want you to take it, Liam. When you think you can trust me, ask me again. If you really want me, if it's me you love, then ask me to be your wife. I can't bear the thought of being without you, but I can't let you choose me because of the babies. I need you to choose me because you can't live without me, either.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. She closed his hand over the ring and then she left.

What the hell had just happened?

**********

Catie sat next to her on the couch with Ellie in her arms. Liam had gone to the store for more diapers and other groceries. He'd been paranoid about leaving her alone with the babies, even though she was perfectly able to take care of them on her own now. But he hadn't wanted to leave for the time it would take to get groceries, and they were running out of food and baby items.

He'd begged Catie to come stay with them for the weekend. Since she'd promised to come back when they really needed the help, she didn't hesitate.

“You owe me,” Catie said, cooing as if she was talking to Ellie, but she was obviously talking to Jenna.

She shuffled Cam when he finished nursing. “Fine,” she said.

“Spill it, rich girl. All of it.”

“What do you want to know?”

“For starters, what was going on with Robbie and you? Why was my brother so upset the day the babies were born? And don't tell me it was about you nearly dying. It was more than that.”

“He hasn't told you?”

“No. He doesn't tell me everything anymore. Especially if it has anything to do with Robbie. It's not that he thinks I'd say anything, just that he respects Robbie's privacy.”

“And you think I don't?”

“No, I know you do. I think
you
would be telling me a secret of your own. Am I wrong?”

Jenna sighed. “No.”

Catie looked at her expectantly. “Well?”

“Fine. You cannot breathe a word of this to another soul, do you hear me? Not even Liam.”

“Spill it. You know you can trust me.”

Jenna nodded. “I...had an affair with Rob.”

“What? When?” Catie stiffened. Cheating was something she loathed, Jenna knew.

“Before I met Liam.”

Visibly relaxing, Catie said, “Oh. Well, I'd love to hear the details, but why is that a big deal?”

“For one, it's a big deal because in case you missed it, Rob isn't Robbie Deacon. He's Deac Roberts, movie star. There's no such thing as 'not a big deal' for him. If the press knew, they'd have a field day.”

“Yeah, yeah. And? You said, 'for one'. What else?”

She sighed. “For another, we didn't tell your brother about it until after the babies were born.”

“Because he suspected it then.”

“How did you know that?”

“He made some flippant comment. Is it causing problems?”

“I don't know. He says he's getting over it, but the other day...” She started to cry, thinking about that stupid photo and that bitch Nina.

“Hey, what's wrong, honey?”

“I think he's in love with Nina,” she whispered.

“No, Jen. He's in love with you.”

“You can be in love with more than one person, Catie.”

“Yes, but he isn't. I know my brother. He is head over heels for you and has been for as long as he has known you. If he has any feelings for her, they're minor compared to his love for you.”

“Then why hasn't he asked me to marry him?”

“Didn't he ask you before?”

“He did, but I gave him back the ring and told him that he should ask me again when he could trust me. That if he couldn't live without me and knew it was me he loved, and not because of the babies, then he should ask me again.”

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, why would you do that?”

“Because he admitted that he felt more for her than he'd said he did before. I don't want him marrying me because he feels obligated, Catie! I love him. I am so in love with him my heart would shrivel up and die if he left me. But I'd rather go through that hurt now and get it over with than let it die slowly and end up...”

“Like my Ma. Right. Shit, Jenna.”

“I'm an idiot.”

“No, hon, you're not an idiot. But didn't you learn anything after all those years with him? Now he's scared. He's afraid you don't really want him. That you're rejecting him.”

“What? Why would he think that?”

“Jenna, you told him that you lied to him for years about a relationship with his best friend. You're close to Robbie, right?”

“Yes, but...”

“No buts. You're still close to the man he now sees as his competition. You returned the engagement ring he gave you. I know him. He thinks you're trying to tell him that you're in love with Robbie. You're not in love with Robbie, are you?”

She shook her head vigorously. “No. Definitely not.”

“Methinks she doth protest too vehemently.”

“I'm not in love with Rob, Catie.”

“But...”

Jenna sighed. Her best friend knew her too well. “But I may have had some pretty intense feelings for him before. Not since I met Liam, but before that. There was a time that it crossed my mind. Not in the same way that starstruck teenagers drool over him. In the way you felt about Noah the day you told me you got engaged to Tony.”

“Life-altering sexual experiences that lasted for a couple days in a row?”

“Try three weeks straight, making love like it was water and we were dying of thirst. The last time, he made me look at him, Catie. I saw something in his eyes and it scared me.”

“Because you didn't think he loved you?”

“Because I knew he did.”

“Oh. Shit.”

“He asked me to go with them on a shoot. To travel with him. It was a horrible idea, for a number of reasons, not the least of which was because he was having a PR nightmare at the time. But I said no, in part, because I was scared. I knew that if I went, we were taking things to the next level. I wasn't quite sure I was ready for it. So I figured we'd take some time apart and then see where we were at. But six months later, he came back, basically blew me off and then pushed me toward Liam.”

“And...”

“Once I saw Liam, I knew. I was sure he was your brother and I'd had a huge crush on him for years. It was like that guy in the pictures had come to life, only better.”

“Seriously, you're waxing cheesy poetic about my brother. If I was an 80's teen, I'd say, 'Gag me with a spoon', because EW.”

“Shut up. It's not that bad.” Catie rolled her eyes. “Fine. I liked Liam immediately after I met him, and it magnified as time passed. As I'd started talking to him, I knew that if he turned out to be even an iota like I'd imagined, I'd be head over heels in no time.”

“Let me guess. He was better?”

“So much. I just...God, Catie, I love him. From the first time he kissed me, I was gone. I can't lose him. I can't.”

“You're not in love with Robbie anymore?”

“I don't know that I ever
was
in love with him.”

“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that. If you're really over Robbie, then you have to make sure Liam can see that. Until he does, you're going to feel like you just took two steps back.”

“As long as that doesn't mean he's going to leave me, I guess I can live with it.”

“Don't live with it too long. Apathy takes root easily, and you don't want to live like that. Trust me.”

**********

Rob's premiere went smoothly and when he and Emily returned from L.A., Jenna knew she had to sit down and apologize to her boss' wife. It was the only way to get this ball rolling in the right direction again.

She knocked softly on Emily's office door.

“Come in,” Emily replied.

“Can we talk?” Jenna asked.

Emily's lips pursed. “Sure.” She was probably thinking about the last time they had 'talked' and Jenna had been a bitch to her.

Jenna closed the door and sat down in the same chair where she'd reconciled with Liam. That memory brought all she was about to say home in a way she hadn't expected. She took a sharp breath.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked. She was a natural caregiver – Jenna had seen that with the twins. Em might be pissed at Jenna, but she was, above all else, a good person.

Jenna nodded. “Yeah. There's only one way to do this.”

Emily's shoulders sank. “What is it now?”

“Nothing bad. I wanted to apologize.”

“For what? For sleeping with my husband? Didn't you tell me that I had to get over it, considering that it happened long before I was in the picture?”

“Not for my past with Rob, for being a bitch when we talked that night. I don't regret anything I've done, except for the fact that I didn't contact Liam sooner when I found out I was pregnant. I'll never be sorry for what Rob and I had before he met you, but I
am
sorry that I was insensitive to you.”

“You were a bitch.”

“Yes. I was a bitch.” Jenna sighed. “Look, I'm going to tell you something and I don't want you to share it with Liam, okay?”

Tears pooled in her eyes. Apparently, the whole pregnancy hormone thing had transformed her into a crybaby, even though the babies were no longer in her body.

Emily nodded. “I assume you have a good reason for keeping it from him?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath.
Just get it over with, Jenna
. “I had feelings for Rob.”

“What do you mean?” Emily's breath caught and her brow furrowed.

“While you two were gone, I realized the reason I was such a bitch to you the night we confessed was because I had always been jealous of you. I wanted to make sure you knew I wouldn't let you come between me and Rob once you knew the truth.”

“And you were jealous because you had feelings for him? Recently?” She seemed confused.

Jenna sighed. “Not romantic feelings. I don't think they were ever romantic feelings.”

“Are you in love with him?”

“Not in the way I'm in love with Liam or the way you and Rob are in love, no. They were both mine, Emily. Rob and Liam were both mine for those three years before you came into the picture. Then you waltzed in and Rob wasn't mine anymore and Liam was taken away from me, too. And I hated you for it.”

“Do you still hate me?”

Jenna shook her head. “No. I don't. It wasn't about you. I'd have felt the same about anyone who took my place in Rob's life.”

“But I didn't take your place.”

“Yes, you did. What we gave each other was never about the sex. That's why he was fine with me dating Liam. He knew Liam couldn't be my emotional support right away, that he'd need time to adjust to the idea. Rob told me that I'd need to be patient from the beginning, and he knew I'd be able to handle it because he was planning to be there for me. You rocked his world. It came out of left field and I scrambled. Not just to get his online life under control, but also because I didn't have him anymore. As soon as you entered his life, he was no longer my confidant the way he always had been.”

“I've never prevented you from talking to him.”

“I know. You've never actively done anything to interrupt our routine. The thing is, before you knew about our history, we had to be careful about what we said if you were around, and you were around
all
the time. Now, we're both hyper-aware of hurting you and Liam.”

“We'll get over it. Eventually.”

“That's the thing. I know that, and so does Rob, but I realized that it's not fair to tell you and Liam to get over it. We both need to respect you more than that. Rob is trying harder than I was, or at least he thinks he is. Now I have to step up, and the first thing I needed to do was be honest with you.”