One Word From God Can Change Your Family (6 page)

Read Proverbs 4:20-23 and you’ll see what I mean.
“My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Those verses reveal exactly how everything in life comes to us. First, something is planted like seed in the ground of our hearts. How does it get into that ground? Through the eyes, the ears and the mouth. Those three avenues are actually gateways through which things gain entrance into our hearts.

Once the seed is in the ground, it will grow and produce a harvest. If it’s good seed, it will produce a good harvest. If you don’t guard the ground, however, then you’ll get unwanted seed on it and things will begin to grow that you don’t want. But, one way or another, for better or for worse, you
will
get a harvest.

If we, as Christian parents, want to have children and teenagers who will keep the faith, we cannot neglect this system of seedtime and harvest. As parents, we are responsible for guarding the hearts of our children until they grow to the point where they can accept that responsibility themselves. We must watch over what is being planted in them because when they are young, the ground of their hearts is wide open to any and every kind of seed. And those seeds will become the forces that establish the kind of person they will grow up to be.

I don’t want my daughter watching MTV, because I’m guarding her heart. I don’t want her listening to lustful music, because I’m guarding her heart. I don’t want those kinds of influences going in her eyes and her ears because I don’t want her to grow up thinking and acting like some ungodly rap musician. I want her to grow up to be a woman of God.

Of course, guarding against unwanted seed is only part of our job as parents. We must also be planting good seed in our children’s hearts. We must do what is necessary to give them an inheritance of faith that’s strong enough to sustain them when they grow up.

If I want my daughters to enjoy a lifetime of victory in the Lord, I have to make sure they understand what I understand about the Word of God. I must see to it they have a revelation of how to prosper. I must be sure they know how to get healed and how to get ahead—not by depending on other people to make them successful, but by depending on faith in God.

It’s much more important for me to leave an inheritance of faith to my children than it is for me to leave them a financial inheritance. If I leave them an inheritance of faith, they can get every material thing I ever had—and much more!

The New Testament tells us about one particular young man who received such an inheritance of faith. His name was Timothy, and he pastored some of the great, early churches that were started by the Apostle Paul. In 2 Timothy 1:3-5 Paul wrote to him and said:

...without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day; Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy; When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.

Timothy was in a bad situation when Paul wrote to him—but he made it through in victory, mainly because he had an inheritance of faith!

Sadly enough, many Christian parents today aren’t giving their children what Timothy’s relatives provided for him. They aren’t handing down their faith. The reason is simple. They just don’t know how.

I can’t tell you in this brief article everything you need to know about passing down your faith to your children, but I can tell you a few simple truths that will get you started—truths that have helped me greatly in recent years.

The first one is so obvious, it seems we should hardly need to say it. Yet, most of us have to admit we haven’t fully incorporated it into our lives. It is this: We must take the time, not just to learn the principles of the Word ourselves, but also to teach them to our children. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says it this way:
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Notice verse 6 says the Word must be in your heart—not in your head, in your heart! You are not going to be able to impart into the lives of your children a truth you just mentally agree is true. You must have that Word living and established inside you. You must have revelation knowledge of how it works. You must have applied it and seen it produce results in your own life. Then, and only then, will you be able to explain that Word to your children in a meaningful way.

Also notice that verse says you should talk about the Word when you sit in your house. That means this is not just a Sunday ritual. You need to sit down at home and talk to your child in a practical way about the Word.

You don’t have to get deep and theological about it. (Please don’t!) Leave off the “thees” and “thous.” Just show your child how the Word applies to him and his world.

Take advantage of the opportunities that arise when you’re sitting around the table. Learn how to weave the Word of God into every conversation. For example, when your son starts telling you about all the girls he’s interested in, that’s an excellent opportunity to do some weaving.

You might say, “You know son, the reason we like girls so much is because God made men that way. In the very beginning, He looked at Adam and said, ‘Boy, you don’t need to be alone!’ Then He put him to sleep, took out one of his ribs, and made a wife for him.

“My goodness, she was a masterpiece. He made her so wonderfully that when Adam woke up and saw her, he said, ‘Wow! I feel good!’ We still feel that way today, don’t we, son? But one thing you need to remember: God just took one rib and made one woman for Adam. There weren’t any spare ribs lying around, and there weren’t any spare women. I want you to understand that you’re destined to find that one woman God made for you....”

What have you imparted to your son through a conversation like that? You’ve taken away the worldly principle that says “fool around with as many women as you can,” and replaced it with God’s principle of marriage and faithfulness to one person. That’s the way to teach the Word.

The second thing you must do if you want to plant good seed in the hearts of your children, and leave them with an inheritance of faith, is this: Give them a pattern. Let your life be a living example of how faith works.

Children learn more by watching what we do than by listening to what we say. You can talk the Christian talk, but if you come home and complain about your day at work, if you blame the boss and the secretary for all your problems and act like none of them is your fault, that’s what your child will learn to do. Before you know it, he’ll be coming home from school, blaming his teacher and his classmates for situations instead of accepting responsibility himself.

By the same token, what if you run into a difficult time at work, and you’ve been told you’re going to be laid off? If you come home and say, “Come on, kids, let’s pray. The company is cutting my job, but the Word of God says blessing and increase are mine. So let’s pray and believe God is in control of our circumstances.” Your children are going to learn not to panic, but to pray and trust God.

The third thing you must do to train your children in the ways of God is to be persistent. They must see you hang in there and do what needs to be done—when it’s convenient and when it isn’t.

There are times in all our lives when we say to ourselves, “I wish I could just break down and cry. I wish I could just forget this faith business for a few minutes and speak doubt and unbelief.” But when you’re tempted to do that, remember your children are watching you. They are waiting to see how you’re going to respond to this situation so they’ll know how to respond to it when it happens to them.

So get yourself together, and be persistent in your faith!

The fourth important element that’s necessary if you want to impart faith to your children is participation. Something positive happens when you get involved in what concerns or interests them. Through participation, you can establish a caring relationship that makes it easier for you to communicate with them and teach them the values and life skills they need to know.

When your son comes home from school with a problem, do you think,
Here’s an opportunity to participate,
or do you say, “I don’t have time to mess with this, son! You handle it yourself!”

Of course, you might never say such a thing out loud—but you may well be saying it very clearly with your actions. If you don’t find the time to attend your child’s band concerts and school plays, if you don’t take the time to talk with your child about that problem at school, to pray with him about it and visit his teacher if necessary, the message you’re communicating is this—I don’t care. And that is one message children never forget.

The fifth tool you can use to train up your child in the way he or she should go is positive praise. It’s the greatest motivation for doing what’s right.

We always seem to have time to tell children what they’ve done wrong. But how often do we take the time to tell them what they’ve done right? If you don’t do that very often, make a conscious effort to start praising your children more. Purposely find five things a day you can praise them about.

When your daughter dresses up and looks pretty, for example, compliment her. Say, “Oh my, you look beautiful. You’d better watch out. You’re going to walk out that door one of these days and some handsome Christian boy is going to drive by and say, ‘Praise the Lord, Sugar! You’re the one for me!’”

Finally, and most important of all—pray! God will honor your prayers where your children are concerned. Take time daily to pray in faith over them. Take time to declare, “The mercies of God hover over my child! My child is not going to be infected by the drug pushers. My child is going to be able to say no, because he is a disciple of the Lord, taught by Him, obedient to His Word, and great is his peace!”

Remember this: You
can
have godly children. God has promised that if you will train up your children in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it. So get busy training. Get busy planting the seeds of the Word in their hearts by teaching them God’s principles, setting a pattern for them, being persistent in your faith, participating with them, praising them and praying for them. Give them an inheritance of faith. They will be forever grateful!

Chapter 10

Kenneth Copeland

Question & Answer: Rebellious Children

“Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.”

—Psalm 112:1-2

Q: Brother Copeland, I don’t know what to do about my teenage children. They’re rebelling against the things of the Lord and—in spite of my prayers—they’re getting deeper in trouble every day. I’m so worried about them. What should I do?

A: First of all, you must start being moved by faith. You can’t get anything accomplished as long as you allow fear and worry to dominate your thinking. Stop the negative flow by starting to think and talk what the Word of God says about your children instead of dwelling on the problems you see in their lives. Isaiah 54:13, for instance, says that all your children shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be their peace. Receive that promise for your children. Start believing it and speaking it. Then, find other promises (such as Psalm 112:1-2 and Deuteronomy 28:4) and use them to build a foundation of faith.

Gloria and I did that many years ago for our children. We saw the devil trying to get a foothold in their lives, so one weekend we got our concordance and four or five translations of the Bible. We began to search out scriptures and write out agreement prayers concerning our children.

We tore into the devil with the Word of God, and started saying “Thank God, our children are not going to hell. Thank God, they are taught of the Lord and great is their peace! Instead of walking the floor and worrying about the problem, we walked the floor and praised God for the solution.

Things didn’t change instantly. We still had to go through some tough times, but the Word began to turn things around. Today my children are serving the Lord with all their hearts.

The second thing you need to do is bind the devil with the Word of God and tell him he can’t have your children. Then follow the instructions Jesus gave in Matthew 9:38:
“Pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers”
into the field who can reach your children.

God knows your children better than they know themselves. He knows who they’ll listen to, and He knows how to bring those people into your children’s lives at just the right time.

The third thing you need to do is to start rejoicing in the Lord. Zechariah 10:7-8 says,
“Those of Ephraim shall be like a mighty man, and their hearts shall rejoice as through wine. Yea their children shall see it and be glad; their heart shall rejoice in the Lord. I will hiss for them and gather them, for I have redeemed them....”

Can you see the sequence there?

When parents get happy in the Lord, the children will see it and be glad.
Then,
God signals for them and redeems them.

Your job is to rejoice in the Lord yourself. To cast all your cares on Him. You may not even know where your children are right now. But God knows and this scripture says He will signal for them and they’ll return. It doesn’t matter where they are. You probably weren’t exactly in your prayer closet when God first found you, were you? I know I wasn’t. But He found us anyway and pulled us to Himself.