One with the Wind (19 page)

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Authors: Jane Livingston

BOOK: One with the Wind
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            Both Nick and Josie accepted Kitaek’s suggestion. As he poured the wine he said, “I will give you a few minutes and I will return for your order.”
            Josie studied the menu, noting all the exotic fishes and fruits. Her stomach rumbled in demand. When Kitaek returned she said, “I'll have to coconut mahi-mahi.” She handed him the menu and took a sip of her wine.
            “Tell me,” said Nick, “is the unicorn fish served with rainbows?”
            Josie coughed and spat out her wine, spraying it on Nick’s shirt and face. She choked, reaching for her glass of water. She took a big gulp and tried to ignore some of the other couples who were now staring at her.
            “Sweetheart,” Nick remarked, embarrassed by her behavior.
            “Are you okay, Madame?” asked Kitaek.
            Josie nodded. “Yes, fine.”
            Kitaek addressed Nick, “Sir, the unicorn fish is freshly prepared by fairies, seared on a rainbow, glazed in a delicate lollipop sauce, and drizzled with a touch of stardust.”
            Nick looked at Josie sternly. “That sounds divine. I will take that.”
            “Very good,” said Kitaek. “I will be back with more bread and more wine for the lady.”
            Josie watched Kitaek traipse back through the water. She then turned her attention to Nick, who grinned mischievously. “That was surreal.”
            Both were curious to see Nick’s unicorn fish served. It was grilled with a tropical fruit salsa and dressed with coconut shavings. It almost resembled a rainbow. Josie reclined in her seat, feeling the effects of the wine and the water at her feet. It was a very good night to become fully intoxicated, not just by alcohol, but by romance. Even Nick’s obnoxious tropical shirt and silly jokes couldn’t ruin her amorous mood.
 
            Later that night, Josie and Nick wandered out to the beach. He lifted her onto his shoulder and carried her into the water. “Nick, put me down!” she scolded.
            Nick obeyed and set her down in the water. He laughed as the water soaked her dress.
            “You think this is funny,” she said, splashing him with water.
            He splashed her back until they were both soaking wet. “Hysterical!”
            Josie spun and fell backward into the water. She didn’t care that she was in her clothing; the water felt like warm bathwater. When she stood up, she noticed Nick was taking off his clothes and tossing them onto the beach. He dived into the shallow water and stood up right where the water was at his waist.
            “I want to get intimate with a fish,” he joked.
            “Let me guess—blowfish?”
            Nick pretended to have an orgasm.
             “You’re certifiable,” Josie remarked.
            “And you’re still dressed,” he said.
            Josie looked around the dark shore; there was no one in sight. She undressed and put her clothes next to Nick’s. She ran through the water and jumped on Nick. He fell back into the water with Josie in his arms. When they surfaced, they were laughing uncontrollably like teenagers. They splashed around and then sat in the water near the shore and let the gentle tide massage their bodies. Nick put his arm round Josie’s waist and she nestled into him. They looked up at the clear moon that hung in the sky.
            “Every time we go somewhere or do something, I would always worry it couldn’t get any better that the best days were behind us.” She looked at Nick. “But it always gets better.”
           

 

 

 

 

 

One with the Wind
            Josie had spent her adult life wondering what kind of mother and mother-in-law she would be. Would she be conservative like her mother, or more open like Nick’s mother? As Yuri and Al grew into young men, she found herself somewhere in between. She hoped her boys would find love like she had with Nick.
            Al fell hopelessly in love in his freshman year at college and was married shortly after he graduated. Yuri, on the other hand, went through women like they were candy and it worried Josie.
Had I failed to teach him commitment and loyalty?
            Yuri was strong-minded and passionate, and he needed a woman to match his vigor. Yuri was thirty-two when he finally settled down and to Josie’s surprise, the woman was seven years older than him.
Who would have thought he would need an older woman to tame him.
            When the boys moved out of their house, Nick and Josie felt like teenagers again. They could make love wherever and whenever they wanted—on the couch while watching television, in the kitchen as she tried to make dinner, the shower and sometimes outside on the back porch.
            Their love-making eventually slowed down as Nick developed arthritis in his back from carrying camera equipment most of his life. It did more than hamper their sex life; it dimmed Nick’s spirits. He not only hated being in pain; he hated not being able to pleasure Josie like he used to. He felt less than a man.
            Josie researched home remedies and created special massage oils—juniper berry, birch and rosemary to help with his pain and black pepper and peppermint to help with the inflammation.  She made sure to include his penis whenever she massaged him, even though it didn’t suffer with arthritis. Nick loved the massages and he loved Josie for her efforts.
            On occasion, when she was able to get him aroused, she would sit on top of him and gently gyrate. “How does your back feel?” she asked.
            “Back?” he joked.
            She leaned forward and kissed him.  She went to great lengths to make him feel better by running baths and cooking foods for a special diet. They went on walks together by the beach to stay healthy and fit. In his retirement, Nick tended a garden in their back yard, which often irritated his back.
 
            As the years passed, Nick grew tired and slower. He didn’t want to do anything but sit outside and watch the squirrels and the birds. Josie kept up the garden for him, so he would have something to look at while he relaxed.
            At age eighty-four, Nick came down with the pneumonia one winter; he just never seemed to get better. At Yuri’s insistence, Nick and Josie moved to an elderly home where they could be looked after. Neither Nick nor Josie wanted to leave the house, but Yuri felt it would be better for his father’s health if he had constant medical supervision.
            Nick’s illness grew worse and he was stricken to bed. The family knew his time was coming. It was Yuri who had the hardest time facing Nick’s fate. He would punch the wall in floods of tears and yell at the nurses for neglecting his father. Josie would often have to calm him down and tell her adult son to get a grip.
            “I love him so much, mom,” Yuri said tearfully. “I don’t know what I will do without him.”
            “Honey, you haven’t been around often. You’ve been busy with your own life, your own family. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Josie replied.
            “I know. It’s not about being together; it’s knowing he is around,” cried Yuri.
            “He’s always going to be around,” said Josie.
            “Aren’t you sad?”
            “Devastated. I’m losing the best friend I ever had. I’m losing the love of my life, but I know your father. I know wherever he will end up, he will still be looking out for us and that gives me comfort,” she said and hugged Yuri tightly. “Honey, it is life. We come and we go, but it’s important to make the most of the time in between.”
            Yuri pulled back from his mother’s embrace and wiped his tear, ashamed of his own blubbering. “I know.”
            “I understand. You have always been exceptionally close to your dad. When you were a baby, I couldn’t tear the two of you apart.” She laughed. “One time, you fell down the stairs in the middle of the night. Your father ran down the stairs stark naked, in front of your grandmother of all people. He cared little for his own nakedness, only for you. He would do anything for you.”
            Yuri nodded and laughed. “I remember naked time as a boy. He was so crazy.”
            “I have to say, naked time is one of the things I missed most in my life.” Josie chuckled. She held Yuri tightly. “It’s going to be all right. It’s all going to work out as planned.”
 
            Josie sat for hours by Nick’s bedside without leaving. She read him her favorite Russian novels and sang their favorite songs. One time, she even dared to reach under the blankets and play with his genitals.
            “Sweetheart,” he choked, “what are you doing?”
            “I want to make sure you leave this world happy,” she said.
            He turned his head slowly toward her and grinned. “I’ve always been happy. There was never a sad day with you in my life.”
            She sat with him, as nurses came in and out, as Yuri and Al and their respective families came to say goodbye. It was hard for all of them, but Nick always had a smile on his face, no matter how much everyone cried.
            “You’re all going to do fine. Stop your crying,” he mumbled.
            Josie laughed. “Listen to your father and knock off your crying!”
            Al came over and kissed Nick on the forehead. “Love you dad, thanks for the good times.”
            Nick looked up at him. “Love you too, son.” He tried to raise his hand. Al took his hand in his and shook it gently. “Take care of your family, especially your wife,” Nick said with a wink.
            Yuri couldn’t say goodbye, he couldn’t even go near Nick without breaking down. Josie swore she hadn’t seen Yuri cry so hard since he was a toddler.
            “Yuri, talk to your father,” scolded Josie.
            Yuri stepped closer to Nick. It was hard to see his father so frail—the man who taught them to wrestle. He leaned over and kissed Nick on the cheek. “I love you dad.”
            “Love you too,” Nick muttered. “You’re the man now. Take care of your mother.”
            “Definitely,” assured Yuri.
            When the family left, Josie sat alone with Nick. Josie leaned closer to him and whispered, “When you go, can you take me with you? Take me to the future with you.”
            He looked at her with intent. “Sweetheart, you have always been a part of my future and always will.”
            Josie stayed awake all that night. She refused to leave his side, or allow herself to fall asleep. She wanted to be there when he passed. It was around two o’clock in the morning when she witnessed the life in his eyes fade. The nurse rushed into his room to check his vitals. He was gone.
            The nurse started to remove the tubes and pack away the drip, when Josie said, “Can I have a few more minutes with him?”
            The nurse nodded. “Of course.”
            Josie caressed Nick’s face. She stared in his eyes; there was nothing there. She couldn’t help herself; she started to sob uncontrollably. “Nick! What am I going to do? You were my life. You were my breath and my heart.” She rested her head on his motionless body, a body she had known so well—no more kisses, no whispers in her ear, no more embraces and no more love making. Josie pulled herself back as if she were detaching from a part of her own body.
How can I survive?
 
            A month later, Josie sat alone at the elderly home. She was often asked to play cards with some of the ladies and asked to dance by some of the elderly gentlemen. She always refused. “I’m waiting for my husband,” she declined sweetly.
            “Your husband has passed,” reminded one of the other ladies at the home.
            “He’s coming for me,” Josie replied.
            The nurse’s aide interrupted the conversation. “Leave her be,” said the aide. “She is still in mourning.”
            One afternoon, Josie waited by the entrance of the old age home. The nurse’s aide approached her. “Are you waiting for one of your sons?” she asked.
            “My husband,” replied Josie.
            The nurse bit her lip not wanting to provoke Josie. She tugged Josie by the arms and pulled her inside the home. “Okay. Why don’t you wait inside and I’ll bring him to you when he gets here.”
            “Okay,” said Josie.
            The nurse guided Josie to a chair. “Would you like some tea while you wait?”
            “That would be real nice,” Josie replied.
            When the nurse bought her tea, Josie watched out the window, knowing he would be there at any moment; she was sure of it. That night Josie went to bed. She fell asleep easily and dreamed sweet dreams all night long. Her life blended together in one celebration.
            Morning came and the nurse welcomed Al. “I’m concerned about your mother. I’m afraid she’s not handling your father’s passing well. She keeps expecting him to come for her. Maybe you could talk with her.” The nurse escorted Al into Josie’s room. “Mrs. Markovich.” Josie didn’t stir in her bed. “Mrs. Markovich?”
            “Mom!” Al exclaimed. “Mom, wake up!’
            Josie didn’t. She wore a blank stare in her eyes and a smile on her face. The nurse stood upright and looked at Al shocked, wanting to give him an explanation, but she had none.
            Al nodded tearfully and laughed. “I guess my father came for her last night.”
 
            Yuri and Al, along with their families traveled to Johnstown and parked at the top of the inclined plane that overlooked the town. The family found a private place along the road. Yuri and Al stepped to the edge of the mountain with the urns that contained Nick and Josie’s ashes.

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