One Week (11 page)

Herbert shrugs. “Just can’t seem to figure it out, Martha. That’s why I have you.”

Martha rolls her eyes, but I chuckle. I ask the waiter for some Cheerios and coffee and ask Martha and Herbert where they’re headed.

“We’re stopping off at my niece’s farm outside of Hastings, Nebraska. She just had her first baby, and they’ve been trying for years, and we’re all just so excited. It’s my sister’s first grandchild, can you believe it?”

“We need to go out there just to keep your sister from smothering that baby,” Herbert grumbles.

“Oh, Herbert, she’s just excited. She loves holding the baby,” Martha explains.

“So much so that the mother can’t get a hand on her to feed her,” Herbert adds. “Mandy had to beg us to come out to see if we could calm her mother down. And if this train goes any slower, that baby will starve to death.”

Martha gives Herbert a gentle smack. “It’s not that bad,” she tells me.

“It is so,” Herbert mouths at me.

I giggle and shake my head. I thought people like this only existed on TV. Martha asks me about my travel plans, and I wish I’d lied when I see how horrified she is at the idea of a girl alone in big bad New York City.

“It’s fine, really,” I say. “I’ve been there before, lots of times. I know my way around. And it’s a lot safer than it seems like it is on Law & Order.”

“Now dear,” Martha says firmly. “I’m not being sexist, but I think you need a big strong man with you. Just in case.”

“That is sexist,” Herbert says. Martha gives him another smack.

“Well, you certainly wouldn’t do,” she tells him.

My Cheerios arrive, and Martha and Herbert sit and keep me company as I eat it, both of them blissfully unaware of the other passengers waiting for tables. I try to think of a tactful way to mention it, and realize I don’t want to. I’m enjoying talking to them. They’re funny and kind of insane and I feel like I’m in some fantasy version of grandparentland. My grandmother lives in Naples, Florida, and sends me taffy and a hot pink tank top every year for my birthday. And that is the extent of our
relationship. Martha and Herbert are poster
grandparents.

Martha is smacking Herbert for the third time in twenty minutes—poor guy must have a permanent bruise—when Jess stops by the table.

“Hey,” he says. “I see you went with cereal. Good choice.”

Martha sizes him up instantly. “Oh, I see you
do
have a strong young man just in case. I’m so relieved.”

I’m not. My ears turn bright red. “Jess isn’t…” I begin.

“And he knows well enough to order cereal,” Martha tells Herbert pointedly. “I see
some
men have common sense.”

“Oh, I didn’t order the cereal,” Jess says. “I ordered eggs. I should have ordered cereal, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Herbert bursts out laughing and reaches across the table to shake Jess’s hand. “Good to meet a kindred spirit.”

Jess grins and shakes firmly. “Yes indeed. We should probably clear on out, though,” he says, and nods over his shoulder at the crowd of people waiting for tables.

“Oh, my goodness,” Martha says, flustered. “I didn’t even realize. How selfish of us!” She gathers up her purse and sweater, and I down the rest of my lukewarm coffee guiltily. I knew I should have said something.

Jess urges us out of the dining car hurriedly, and I have to insist that he stop pushing at me to give me a chance to pay.

“Just leave some money on the table,” he says, pulling at my arm.

I tug it back. “What is your deal? Give me a couple of seconds, would you?”

“Jess, I thought you had to—oh!” a voice behind me stops, surprised. I turn around to see a girl with long dark hair—perfectly blow-dried, and how she managed it I have no idea—and miraculously unwrinkled clothing standing next to Jess. She eyes me from head to toe (which I guess I kind of had coming, given how I just did that, but I’m much less presentable so she could have been polite and laid off). “You must be Bee,” she says. “What a romantic trip the two of you are taking—to New York for a first anniversary? How sweet!”

Only she doesn’t sound like she thinks it’s sweet. She sounds like she swallowed a bug. And…
what?

“You told her we’re—” I start.

“I know we weren’t going to tell anybody about our plans, honey,” Jess interrupts, putting his arm around my waist. “But I’m just so excited, I couldn’t help myself.  Nice to meet you, Tessa,” he says, and begins steering me out of the car.

“What are you doing?” I hiss.

“Bee, do you go to UCLA also?” Tessa inquires as we try to squeeze past her.

“Um, no. I go to the Archer School.”

“Isn’t that…a high school?” Tessa’s nose wrinkles. “How very cradle-robbing of you, Jess.”

Jess laughs weakly and tugs me out of the dining car again. I look around for Martha and Herbert, but they’ve gone. Damn. I wanted to say goodbye. And to my dismay, Tessa has followed us.

“Where are you two sitting?” she inquires. “It’s a long ride, and I’m sure we could all use some entertainment.”

Tessa runs a hand through her mane of hair and I suddenly wonder what exactly she has in mind for entertainment.

“Oh, we’re in one of those little roomettes,” Jess says quickly. “Barely any room to move with two people. Why on earth did they design those things. We’ll see you around.”

He propels me forward and out of the car. “What the hell was that all about?” I demand.

Jess drops his arm from my waist. “I’m sorry about the romantic trip thing,” he says, embarrassed. “I panicked.”

“Why? Do you know her?”

“No!” Jess exclaims. “I just happened to sit next to her.” I wonder briefly what the odds were of Jess sitting next to a beautiful college girl as opposed to, say, anybody else.

I cross my arms across my chest. Jess sighs and tries to step around me, but I block his path firmly. “And where do you think you’re going?”

He blinks. “Back to the roomette. Where else?”

“Hmm, how about back to your seat? Or back to wherever Tessa’s sitting? I’m sure you’d be more than welcome.”

“Oh, come on,” he protests. “It’s not my fault she was being…”

“Creepy and hair-flippy?” I suggest.

“A little overly friendly,” he says. “Bee, look, I’m sorry about last night—”

“Don’t even think about it for a moment,” I say sweetly. Or I try to say it sweetly. I think it may have come out a little harsher than I intended considering my teeth are gritted together so tightly they ache. “But there is absolutely no reason you should feel obliged to spend any more time than necessary with a
high-schooler
…”

“I don’t feel obliged—”

“And frankly, I could use a break from you,” I snap.

 Jess looks at me closely and smiles. “Well, I don’t need a break from you.” He reaches out a hand to brush away a loose strand that fell out of my ponytail.

I sigh and push him away. “Look, I’ve never spent this much time with
anyone
before and it’s bound to get annoying. And you’re more annoying than most people to begin with.”

He pulls his hand back and straightens. “Fine,” he says, giving me a tight smile. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.” And he turns and heads back the other way. The way Tessa went. Of course.

I stomp back to my roomette, telling myself I’m glad he was so easy to get rid of, and that my life will be so much easier and more pleasant without somebody following me around and telling me what to do and eating all my Skittles. I open the roomette door and slam it behind me. And stare in disgust at all of Jess’s crap strewn about the place. I’m never going to get rid of him.

I shove his duffel on top of one of the seats and pile all of his stuff on top of it. But sitting across from it feels eerily like sitting across from a Jess-effigy. What do I do now? Play poker with the duffel bag?

I decide to look out the window again. After all, I’m traveling through some of the most spectacular land in the country, or so I’ve heard. Some people take the train for days and days
on purpose
because it’s so pretty.

And wow. I’m definitely not a ride-the-train-for-fun convert, but those are some mountains. We’re outside of Denver—I think that was the last stop, anyway—and I’ve never seen mountains like these. That is, I have—I’ve seen the Alps, I’ve seen Mount Fuji, but the Rockies seem so much…rougher, harsher. And somehow beautiful.

I sigh, and turn away from the window. I dig Lady Delia out from the bottom of my bag. She’s a little worse for wear, but still virginal. Though I bet not for long.

Indeed. Not even ten pages later, and we are getting into some serious deflowering. Wow, Delia, it’s amazing how your complete inexperience makes you so seductive. Wish that worked in real life. Actually, this book is getting kind of good again. Hey, I go to an all-girls school. We don’t see a lot of action. But is this vapid “He’s not really going to touch me
there,
I think I might faint” thing really what guys like? Or is it just what gallant marauding pirates like?

God, I have no idea. How would I? I’m exactly what Jess—and Tessa—say that I am. I’m an inexperienced little kid. And I can play the all-girls school card all I want, but the fact is that action is always available if you want it. I just never did anything about it. And now I’m here, seventeen years old, and picking up tips from the likes of Lady Delia Swarthmore. Some seventeen-year-olds are adults; me, I can’t even get myself from one place to another. Much less make somebody “all a-quiver with my most delicate touch.”

There’s a pounding on the door, and I jump, dropping Lady Delia. I open it to find Jess standing outside with a panicked look on his face.

“
Please
be my girlfriend,” he begs.

What?

“My fake girlfriend,” he continues hurriedly. “Just for a little while? I can’t take it anymore.”

“Can’t take what anymore?” I ask as I hold the door open for him.

“Tessa!” he exclaims. “She’s got this insane North by Northwest fantasy where she absolutely needs to hook up with somebody on a train, and she’s trolling up and down every car and has pegged
me
as her Cary Grant.”

North by Northwest? That’s
my
fantasy. Bitch. “So?” I say calmly. “Hook up on a train. She’s cute. What’s the problem? You’re not using my roomette, though.”

“The problem is that Cary Grant almost gets killed on Abe Lincoln’s nose and I don’t really feel up to that right now.”

I try not to laugh, but I can’t help myself. “Well, you could go out for a walk at the next stop and see if you don’t get hit by a plane. If nothing happens, it’s probably safe.”

Jess shakes his head. “No way. I’m not taking any chances. I’m staying right here.” He plants himself firmly in his seat.

Wait. I just had a great idea. “How long are the stops, anyway? And where are we?”

Jess shrugs. “I don’t know. I think we’re in Nebraska.”

“Are we near Hastings?” I ask excitedly.

“How should I know?” He gives me a look. “You’re not changing your mind, are you? You’re still going to New York, right? You’re not giving up and going to Hastings, instead? Because that would just be sad.”

“No, dumbass. Herbert and Martha are going to visit their niece’s baby in Hastings.”

Jess looks completely confused. “Who?”

“The old couple we met in the dining car. Remember?” I start pacing around the roomette. Which mostly involves turning in place.

“Right. And what does this have to do with you, exactly?” Jess crosses his arms over his chest. He has a look on his face like he’s expecting me to say something crazy and he has his response all ready in advance.

“So we should go with them! We should go visit the baby! I overheard the porter telling somebody we’d be refueling in Hastings, so we should have plenty of time.”

“And why do you have this sudden desire to go visit the baby of someone you’ve never met?”

To be honest, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m glad Jess is here and not with Tessa, and I have all of this energy all of a sudden and I can’t stand to be on this train for another second.

“It’ll be fun!” I say. “Come on, let’s just go find Herbert and Martha and ask them.”

“Ask them what? If we can horn in on their intimate family moment? You do realize there’s no way they’re going to say no, right? If you corner them like that, they have to say yes. They’re from the Midwest.”

All the better. “Come on,” I say, and heave Jess up off the seat. “We probably won’t be able to find them anyway. It’s just something to do.”

It is, actually, harder to find them than I thought it would be. Part of the problem is that Jess keeps ducking behind rows of seats and peeking around corners to see if Tessa is lurking anywhere. Which, I’m not going to lie, I find really funny. He’s probably only doing it for that reason, but it still makes me feel better.

So when we do finally find Herbert and Martha, my face is flushed from giggling, and Jess is dusting off the knees of his cords from when he crouched behind a bunch of suitcases stashed in a sort of closet at the rear of the car.

“Bee!” Martha exclaims. “What perfect timing! I was just saying to Herbert that we should really go find you, to see if you wanted to take a little break from your travels and come squeeze a baby.”

“And I explained to Martha that you probably have better things to do than go see a screaming infant you have no connection to at all,” Herbert says, nodding to us as he busies himself with gathering up their things.

“Not at all!” I say, beaming. “We’d love to come!” I can just barely restrain myself from sticking my tongue out at Jess and his skepticism about whether or not we’d be welcome. Martha strikes me as the kind of person who would welcome the Manson family into her home for a nice supper.

Martha pulls me aside to show me pictures of her great-nephew, as preparation for the cuteness to come, while Jess and Herbert confer over whether or not we really have enough time to make it to their niece’s house and back before the train leaves. I’d be offended at not being included in such calculations, except that I’m painfully aware of how useless I’d be. And anyway it’s much more fun to oooh and aaah over babies.