One True Love (4 page)

A quiet pause passed between them. They walked across an old stone bridge covered in moss, and stopped in the middle to look out at the cerulean river flowing towards the sea. The songs of the nightingales and their breathing was the only interruption to the hush of the morning.

A small breeze whipped the loose curls around her face, and the skirts around her ankles. She wore a light green morning gown with a darker green velvet redingote. The colors matched her sparkling eyes which seemed to change shades from light to dark along with her mood. His heart sank to his stomach with a deep sense of regret squeezing his chest, plunging him into a melancholy moment. It was a useless emotion to lust after a woman he could not have –now or ever.

"Shall we continue our walk?" Offering his arm, he directed her across the bridge and down a well-worn path.
He told her more about the house, his renovations, and his plans for furnishing and decorating his home. She listened and added intelligent comments. Cassie's strong sense of color and style, and her advice was well worth the pain of her company. Not that she was a pain, but that he was in pain, hard, throbbing pain. Even a dip in the cold river might not soothe his aching heat.

In order to see Miss Chamber's home, they had to cut across a wooded path. Surrounded by ancient trees and a mellow morning light, they continued on when she stilled and let go of his arm. She tiptoed a few steps, turned her head, and brought her finger to her mouth to indicate he should be quiet. He looked ahead where he saw a doe and her fawn standing in a copse of trees, and then turned to watch her expression change from surprise to delight. She reminded him of a child ogling a new toy on Christmas morn. Something churned deep inside of him, and settled in a tight ball over his heart.

The fawn stopped and stared at the intruders before disappearing into the woods.

Miss Chambers turned, beaming. "What a delightful treat! I love observing nature."

She started back toward him when her foot stumbled over a protruding rock, which caused her to tumble forward.

He wrapped his arms around her to catch her fall, and then drew her tight against him.

Their eyes met and held for a defining moment in time. The instant was too real, too intense, so he broke the contact, only to find himself drawn to her ripe, luscious, kissable lips. Last night he dreamed about her soft mouth, of tasting and exploring her depths.

He forgot himself, forgot the circumstances, forgot his honor, and lowered his mouth to hers to taste her sweetness, but once was not enough. He touched his lips to hers repeatedly, and begged her with the pressure of his mouth to open for him –a
nd she did.

When he pushed his tongue into her mouth, she moaned and pressed further into him, and placed her hands against his chest. Heat burned through his clothes all the way to his skin.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he brushed away the little voice telling him to stop, to set her aside and forget her existence. His control slipped in a whirlwind of need, and instead of pulling back, he went deeper into her mouth, tasting, taking, giving her inexperienced mouth a drink from the fountain of passion. She tasted like his favorite dessert of raspberries and cream. The need to over indulge, to probe his tongue deeper into her mouth, to feed his starving heart and soul, drew him into an oblivious state of arousal.

Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck, and then her fingers plunged into the thickness of his hair. He deepened the kiss.

Something tapped on the door of his mind. He pushed it away and tightly wrapped his arms around her, moving his hands up and down her back. His need for her overtook his soul, and kept the guilt at bay.

This woman did something to him, something he could not explain or deny. Helpless, he continued his pursuit of her, drugged by her mouth and her innocent responses.

The temptation to touch her, to lift her skirts, and feel her bare skin almost won out, until her deep moan broke through his passion filled fog.
What the hell was he doing?
Ravishing an innocent woman, a betrothed woman, a woman who belonged to another man, taking what was not his to take, in the woods where anyone could come across them and see. He wanted more, but alas, she was not his for the taking.

He lifted his mouth from hers, regret and guilt biting into his consciousness. "I am sorry. I do not know what came over me."

Cassie's eyes widened in astonishment, and her chest heaved as she struggled for air. She held her hand to her mouth, stared at him in bewilderment, confusion, and with obvious desire.

Then she picked up her skirts and ran.

Chapter Two

Cassie stood at Jocelyn's window and peered out at the church's graveyard. Jocelyn slept, allowing her the luxury of being alone with her thoughts.

When she returned from her walk she learned her sister had a turn for the worse. Jocelyn's fever spiked during the night. Their exhausted mother spent the night pressing cool rags to her youngest daughter's forehead. Finally, sometime in the early morning, her fever broke. Cassie took over so her mother could go to bed.

Not for the first time since her walk, she touched her fingers to her tingling mouth.
L
ike a wanton,
she
allow
ed
a man who was not her husband to take liberties, but most disturbingly, she enjoy
ed
his kiss as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Closing her eyes, she replayed the moment in her mind. He kissed her, and she kissed him back without a care for the consequences. She lost herself to the desire pulsing through her veins, and now the shame left her grappling with her conscience. She pulled her shawl tight around her shoulders. How could she have sinned so?

She bit her fist to stop the sob that swelled in her throat.

Mr. Parker.

Her one true love.

She betrayed the man she loved above all else, and this before they were married. What would Mr. Parker think or say or do if he learned what she had done? Surely he would cry off and leave her broken hearted.

Why did Lord William kiss her? More importantly, however, why did she kiss him back? Mr. Parker's one fleeting kiss left her tingling and wanting more, unlike Lord William's kisses which left her hot and achy and wanting something she could not comprehend.

The door opened, cracking the silence, intruding on her mood like a black veil lifted from a widow's face. Mrs. Hopkins, the housekeeper, stepped inside carrying a luncheon tray. She set it down on Jocelyn's desk and whispered across the room, "I thought you might be hungry."

Cassie attempted to answer. She was not the least bit hungry, in fact, her stomach churned, leaving her somewhat nauseated. Of course, she was not about to disclose her feelings to a servant.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hopkins," she said.

"Has she stirred at all?" asked the housekeeper.

"No, she has slept like a babe. I imagine she needs her rest." Cassie moved to the chair in front of the desk. She looked down at the roast beef, peas, and carrots. Her dry mouth and throat tightened.

She took a sip of water while Mrs. Hopkins touched Jocelyn's head and clucked, "Fever is broke. Good thing too. Your poor mother nearly had the vapors from worry. Tis' nothing nature will not heal."

"Thank the Good Lord," murmured Cassie between dry bites of beef.

Mrs. Hopkins took her leave, once again leaving Cassie alone with her turbulent thoughts. She managed to swallow a few more bites before she shoved her tray away and laid her head in her arms. Hot, blinding tears came, soaking her sleeves with salty moisture. Would her soul burn in hell for eternity for her one indiscretion? "Oh, God, please forgive me...please forgive me..."

"Forgive you for what?" croaked a small voice from the bed.

Cassie's head snapped up as she turned toward her sister, "I...uh...was praying for forgiveness of my sins."

Jocelyn struggled, but managed to sit up in the bed, "You are perfect, dear sister. Whenever have you sinned?" Jocelyn's teasing smile reassured Cassie she would recover just fine.

"I am far from perfect. Just the other day I thought Mrs. Bloomingburg's hat made her look like a spotted ostrich." Cassie forced a smile for Jocelyn's sake.

Jocelyn laughed, but then she sobered and asked, "Why were you crying?"

"I was feeling sorry for myself. I suppose I miss Mr. Parker." Another sin –
lying
. She did miss Mr. Parker, but that was not the reason for her tears. The shame crept up her neck and flushed her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. My dreadful headache is finally gone." Jocelyn looked at her older sister with an assessing eye. "It must be terribly hard to be separated from Mr. Parker."

Cassie poured a glass of water and handed it to Jocelyn. "Here, drink up." She hesitated before continuing, "It is difficult. I wish he could at least visit before the wedding."
Five long months. "
It is not as if London is so very far away." If Mr. Parker were here she might not be so tempted by Lord William –at least that is what she told herself.

They spent several hours playing whist to pass the time. She described Nightingale Hall and the Prescott family while leaving out details of a
certain
Prescott. Jocelyn would know right away something was wrong if she were not careful.

Mrs. Chambers entered the room at mid-afternoon, gave Jocelyn a once over with her eyes, then turned to Cassie smiling and holding out a letter, "The post arrived. You have a letter from Mr. Parker."

Guilt washed through her, soaking her conscious like a thunderstorm would soak one's clothes. She covered her hot cheeks with her hands to hide her apparent shame. She jumped up and snatched the letter out of her mother's hand then turned towards the window to read it in privacy.

My Darling Miss Chambers,

I have arrived in London in good time. The air here is thick with a most unpleasant smell. Oh, how I miss the sweet scent of roses in the country. I can hardly wait to see you again, my dear.

I have met with my uncle, and must confess he is none too happy with our engagement, but I vow to bring him round in time. I can imagine no other woman as my wife but you. Your smile warms my heart. We will be together soon my love, as husband and wife. Give your dear family my love. Until we meet again, keep me in your dreams.

Your devoted fiancé,

Miles Parker

Cassie's eyes welled with a mix of guilt, shame, and love. She loved Mr. Parker, and missed him so very much.

She would
not
betray him again.

She squared her shoulders and stiffened her spine. "Lord Winnington is giving Mr. Parker some grief about our upcoming nuptials, just as we expected. However, my betrothed has everything in hand. He sends his love." She folded the letter and placed it in her pocket. "If you do not mind, I would like to take some air."

"Of course dear, you go on. I will keep Jocelyn company."

***

The local assembly room was already crowded when Cassie and Jocelyn arrived. They each wore their prettiest ball gowns. Jocelyn dressed in yellow to match her dark hair and Cassie in soft pink. Their mother went off to speak to a group of ladies, leaving the girls to their own devices. No one expected anything untoward to occur at a country event.

The sea of faces swam before Cassie's eyes, until she spotted a familiar one, Lady Anne. Then she braced herself in case she ran across Lord William. She would be polite, but she had no intention of letting him near her again. Over two weeks had passed since their morning walk, a walk she avoided at all costs, although she did feel closeted near home, constraining her movement to the gardens and graveyard. She thought perhaps he would attend Sunday church, but so far he did not come with the rest of his family. The last she heard he was in London. She hoped he stayed there, but more so, she wished he would stay out of her dreams.

"Cassie, I am so glad you came." Lady Anne hugged her. In the short time since they met, the two girls were on their way to becoming the best of friends.