One Night with her Boss (3 page)

For a moment, he stared at the empty air
just past her head. “You don’t…want it.”

“I’ve always wanted to be in marketing.
You know that.”

“I can give you marketing—”

“To do in my spare time?” She was
starting to get annoyed because he didn’t seem to be hearing her and was thus
making this conversation harder than it had to be. “Let’s be serious. Even if
you changed my position, I’d still end up doing the marketing job on top of the
assistant’s job. I know exactly what would happen. You’d try. We’d try. But
you’re used to relying on me, so you’d still ask me to do most of what I’m
already doing, so I’d have two jobs instead of one. It would never work. I need
to move somewhere else.”

“Marketing is not more important work
than what you’re doing now. If I’m willing to match your salary, then why—”

She made a frustrated sound. “I already
said it’s not about the money. It’s that I want a job that will be more…more…”

“More what?” He leaned forward, looking
like he might want to reach out and grab her shoulders or shake her or
something.

“More fulfilling.”

The words had a visible impact. He
jerked slightly and leaned back.

She groaned and rubbed her face. “I’m
sorry, Jake. I know this is hard. But try to think about it from my
perspective.”

“I am trying to think about it. I just
didn’t realize you weren’t happy here.” He wasn’t looking at her now. He was
staring down at his desk. And she realized he was really bothered by this idea.

“I have been happy. It’s been a good
job. But most people don’t stay in the same job all their lives. What’s good at
one point in your life might not be good at another point.”

“So you’re just going to quit?”

“Two weeks’ notice. I can help you try
to find a replacement—”

She broke off when he made a strange
sound in his throat.

For a moment, she was bombarded with a
wave of grief and guilt, but as she processed the feeling, she was suddenly
angry.

There was no reason for her to feel
guilty about this. She was doing what was right for her. She’d been perfectly
loyal to Jake for seven years. He should think for a few minutes about what
might be best for her. Maybe he could even be happy for her.

She stood up. “I realize this has taken
you by surprise, so I’m sorry to just spring it on you. But it’s going to
happen. I can help you find my replacement if you want, or you can do it after
I’m gone. It’s up to you.”

She started walking for the door, but he
followed her, stopping her with a hand against the wall next to her shoulder
the way he had with the file cabinets earlier in the day. “Why are you doing
this, when I’ve just offered you anything you want?”

He hadn’t offered her everything she
wanted. He was never going to offer her that. She could see it so clearly now
that it made her want to cry—like she was mourning something she’d never had.

But she didn’t cry. She met his eyes and
said, “I know what you offered. You can give me more money and change my title
and responsibilities, but nothing about this job is going to change for me. You
can’t argue me out of this.”

“And what am I supposed to do without
you?”

She almost choked at the urgent
question, at the fiery look in his eyes. “Find someone else,” she said, her
voice breaking on the last word.

“There is no one else.”

“I’m an assistant. You can find someone
else to keep your files in order and answer your phones.”

“You do more than—”

“I know. But you can train someone else
to do everything I do. I’m not irreplaceable.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

It was exactly what she’d always wanted
to hear, but she couldn’t stand it now. Because he only wanted her because she
made his life easier.

He didn’t want her for her.

“It’s not your choice to make. I’m
giving you two-weeks’ notice. I’ll have an official letter for you in a few
minutes.”

“I don’t accept it.”

She gasped in outrage. “You have to
accept it. I’ve never known you to be a bastard before. Don’t start now.”

He glared at her, his hand still planted
beside her.  “We have to go to San Diego tonight,” he said, evidently putting
the previous conversation behind him, at least for now.

It almost hurt—that he’d moved on so quickly.
She was clearly irrational at the moment. “And you need me to go with you?”

“Of course I do. I have two weeks left,
don’t I?”

“Yes. I just wasn’t expecting to go out
of town.” She never would have complained or even questioned a trip before, but
she didn’t have anything to lose here, and she really didn’t want to go. “I
have plans.”

“What plans?”

“If you must know, I have a date.”

He dropped his hand and stepped back,
tension radiating from his big body. “Is he proposing or something tonight?”

“No! Of course not. I just…” She trailed
off, not finding any words for explaining why a first date would be important
enough to miss a work trip for.

“You just what?”

“Nothing. I’ll be ready to go. What time
are we leaving?”

“Not until five.”

“Okay. I’ll run home to pack and be back
soon.”

“Good.”

He obviously wasn’t happy. He was
standing in the middle of the floor, glowering at her.

“Okay.” She turned away from him,
telling herself this was for the best and she wasn’t losing anything she’d ever
really had.

Even though that was exactly how it felt
right now.

She glanced back before she walked out.
“Thank you for the book.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll be back soon.” She’d already told
him that, so she wasn’t sure why she’d felt the need to say it again.

“Okay. We’ll leave at five.”

He’d already told her that too. They
both seemed to be in a strange sort of daze. She really needed to snap out of
it.

If anything, she should be angry with
Jake for his response just now. She shouldn’t be ready to cry.

Jake
drove a three-year-old Mercedes SUV, and Anne was sitting in the passenger seat
at seven o’clock that evening, on her way with him to San Diego.

It wasn’t a long drive down the coast,
but there was always a lot of traffic so it was slow going.

Particularly slow today.

Jake had been on the phone the whole
time, and Anne had been taking notes and drafting up emails she would have to
send, based on the phone conversations she overheard.

He’d just disconnected with Max about
next quarter’s budget and was obviously thinking through who else he needed to
call.

Jake hated wasting time—even driving in
a car.

Anne finished the email she’d been
drafting and glanced over at him. “Anyone else?”

After a few moments, he shook his head.
“I don’t think so. I need to talk to Michael Palmer, but I haven’t been able to
reach him in two days.”

“He just got married. He’s on his
honeymoon until next week.”

“Oh. I guess he’s out then. Why didn’t
someone tell me?”

“I didn’t know you were trying to reach
him. If you’d put all your calls through me like I’ve suggested, I could keep
track of them for you.”

He angled her a very particular look.

“I’m not bossing,” she said, hiding a
smile at his expression. She’d felt awkward and tense before—after their
conversation in his office—but they always seemed to fall back to their
familiar rhythm once they got back into work. “Just giving you options that
might help.”

“Your options are always much
appreciated,” he drawled.

She was about to reply but then noticed
him shifting in his seat and readjusting one of his legs. “Is your knee
bothering you?”

His expression tightened immediately.
“It’s fine.”

“We should stop so you can walk around
and stretch it out some. It always gets stiff when you’re in the car a long
time.”

“I don’t need to stretch it out. It’s
fine.”

She felt a familiar rise of frustration.
She hated when he did this. Acted like he was invincible. Refused to admit his
knee was a physical weakness that he needed to accommodate.

It might just be some sort of macho
pride, but it felt to her more like he didn’t think his physical discomfort was
important enough to stop working for.

She bit back the response she was close
to snapping, about how he would end up back in surgery if he didn’t take better
care of his knee. Instead, she said lightly, “Well, I need to go to the
bathroom. So can we stop for me?”

He shot her a suspicious look but didn’t
object. He pulled into the next convenient stop they passed, an open parking lot
near a beach entrance with a small strip of shops and food stands.

Anne didn’t really need to go to the
bathroom, but she made a trip to the ladies’ room anyway, since that had been
her excuse for getting him to stop.

She glanced at herself in the mirror
over the sink as she was washing her hands and was surprised by how nice she
looked.

Every once in a while she had that
experience—seeing herself and being surprised in a pleasant way. Her dark hair
was windblown but framed her face nicely, and her skin looked particularly
fresh.

She’d thought she looked so frumpy this
morning. She wasn’t sure how she turned pretty over the course of the day.

But she was feeling more attractive than
she usually did as she left the restroom and glanced around for Jake.

She found him leaning against a railing
that overlooked the boardwalk. He’d spent half of his life on the beach, but he
looked out of place right now in his expensive gray suit. He was particularly
incongruous with two lemonade slushes in his hands.

She perked up even more as she walked
over to him, accepting the one he handed her.

“Thank you. I love these.” She smiled
brightly at him as she tasted it.

“I know.” He gave her a slightly dry smile
in return that made her grin even wider.

Suddenly washed with self-consciousness,
she glanced away, toward the beach. It was a warm day with a blue sky and a
strong breeze. The beach wasn’t particularly crowded, though. Not on a Tuesday
evening.

When she looked back, she saw that Jake
was discreetly stretching his bad knee and wincing very slightly.

She knew his knee was really bothering
him today, and the stubborn idiot refused to admit it.

“Let’s walk a little,” she said mildly.
“I don’t feel like getting back in the car yet.”

He frowned, little lines appearing
between his dark eyebrows. “I told you my knee is just fine.”

“I didn’t say anything about your knee.
Don’t be grumpy. It’s so nice here, and we’re not in any sort of hurry to get
to San Diego this evening. Why shouldn’t we take a fifteen minute break?”

“Because I know exactly why you’re
suggesting the break. You’re not as subtle as you think, you know.”

“So you’re saying you won’t let me take
a fifteen minute break before we get back in that car?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Feeling irrationally victorious, even
over such a little thing, she grinned again. “Let’s walk on the beach.”

He was shaking his head as they walked
down to the boardwalk and then onto the warm sand. She had to take off her
heels and carry them, which was a little awkward with her slush, but she
managed.

They didn’t talk as they moved down to
the damp sand that was easier to walk on, but she liked Jake’s presence beside
her. He felt strong. Solid. Really there.

She tried not to think about what it
would be like two weeks from now, when he wouldn’t be there anymore.

It hurt so much she couldn’t breathe for
a moment, but she pushed through it until her mind was clear again.

“I didn’t know you were dating someone,”
Jake said out of blue.

She was so surprised she stopped walking
to stare. “What?”

He looked slightly uncomfortable, but he
repeated, “I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh.” He frowned. “You said you had a
date tonight.”

She realized then where the topic had
come from. She wasn’t in the habit of talking to Jake about her dating life,
but there was no reason not to tell him the truth. As she started walking
again, she explained, “It was a first date. I haven’t even met the guy yet.”

“Oh.” His tone sounded different now,
and his eyes were on the horizon. “Sorry you had to postpone.”

She shrugged. “No big deal.”

She wished she hadn’t even brought it up
earlier that day. She’d just been so frustrated with Jake in general that she
hadn’t guarded her words as much as she should have.

Her personal life shouldn’t get in the
way of work. Not even her feelings should. She’d always made sure they didn’t.

They walked in silence for a few minutes
until she stopped again when she saw a lone surfer in the distance on the
water. He was obviously a newbie, since he got himself upright for just a few
seconds before he wiped out.

“Poor guy,” she murmured, watching as he
ended up in the water a second time.

“He’ll get it.”

She turned to look at Jake’s face and
surprised an expression there that almost looked like hunger. Before she could
think through the wisdom of the question, she heard herself asking, “Do you
think you’ll ever surf again?”

His whole body stiffened as he turned his
head to meet her eyes. “You know I can’t—”

“I know you can’t surf professionally
anymore. But the doctor never said you can’t get on a surfboard again. Surely
you could surf now and then, just for fun.”

As far as she knew, he hadn’t gotten out
in the water in ten years.

He looked back to the surfer, who was paddling
toward his board. “Why bother?”

“For fun? For enjoyment? You loved it,
didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” He let out a long sigh. “I did.”

She watched his expression for a minute,
suddenly realizing something new about him.

He didn’t want to give himself to
surfing again—in any way—since it had already been taken away from him once.

“I know it was really hard,” she
murmured, feeling like she needed to respond to her revelation somehow. “But
that doesn’t mean you can’t have anything now.”

Her words were soft, strangely gentle,
even to her own ears, and she was suddenly afraid that they revealed too much.

Especially when he stared at her in
naked surprise for a moment.

She swallowed hard and glanced away.

Jake cleared his throat and started
walking back the way they’d come.

When she fell in step with him, he
replied to her earlier comment, “I know it doesn’t mean I can’t have anything.
I’ve got the business, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t
also—”

“I don’t want to surf anymore, Anne. I
don’t want to do it.” His voice was low, guttural.

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and
focused her eyes on her bare feet stepping on the sand. “Okay.”

She knew he wasn’t telling her the
truth. Or not the whole truth anyway. But there was no reason to expect him to.

They weren’t lovers. They weren’t even
friends. They were boss and employee.

And she wasn’t entitled to the secrets
of his soul, no matter how much she wanted to hear them.

No wonder he was a workaholic. He’d
learned to channel all of his passion, enjoyment, and feeling into his business—since
he’d lost what had satisfied him before.

The one loss seemed to have reshaped his
whole life. Now the only thing he was willing to genuinely invest in was his
work, his company.

He wasn’t even willing to invest in an
intimate relationship.

She’d sensed this in him before, but not
with such clarity. It made her feel heavy, poignant, aching.

It was just wrong for him to cut himself
off from everything else, even something he loved to do as much as surf.

He took her half-eaten slush from her
hand when they reached the boardwalk again, so she could brush off her feet and
put her shoes back on. Then they walked silently back to the car.

Jake threw away his empty cup, while
Anne tried to finish her slush quickly.

He stood watching her with a sober
expression, a sheen of perspiration on his skin and his tie just slightly
loosened.

“I didn’t mean to be rude back there,”
he said at last, as she finished her last sip.

She tossed her cup in the trashcan. “I
know. I didn’t think you were.” She sighed as she walked back to the car, where
he was waiting by the passenger door. “I just thought you didn’t want to talk
to me about it.”

She wasn’t looking at his face, since
she was feeling self-conscious again. She was staring at his tie.

It bothered her unduly. Why the hell did
he have to wear a tie on a road trip, anyway? Couldn’t he at least have taken
his jacket and tie off on the way to San Diego?

She heard him let out a hoarse breath.
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, Anne. It’s that it’s hard for me to
talk about it at all.”

“I know.” She was so full of emotion and
so aware of his presence, just a few inches away, that she was almost shaking.
She was still staring at his tie. “I just don’t like for you to not have the
things you love in your life.”

She didn’t phrase that quite right. It
sounded far too intimate. She felt him stiffen, although she still couldn’t
bring herself to look up at his face.

She added, “Surfing, I mean.”

“I know what you meant.” His voice was
very low now, very guttural.

She wanted to look him in the eyes,
touch him, kiss him. She wanted it so deeply that her hands were trembling with
the urge. Because she was so overwhelmed, she couldn’t think clearly. She just
needed to distract herself.

So she started to undo his tie,
loosening it enough to unknot it. “There’s no reason for you to wear the tie on
this trip. It has to be uncomfortable.” She was babbling, but she couldn’t stop
herself. “And why don’t you take off your jacket, too?”

He didn’t resist as she slid off his tie
and then reached for his suit jacket and pulled it off his shoulders. But he
said, “Anne, it doesn’t really matter—”

“It does matter. You don’t have to be
uncomfortable on the whole drive. I don’t understand why you think you do.” She
opened the back door of the SUV and spread out of his jacket so it wouldn’t get
too wrinkled. Then she laid his tie on top of it.

She was aware that he was staring at
her, but she still couldn’t stop rambling on. “You’re allowed to be
comfortable, you know. You don’t always have to wear this stupid—”