Chapter
Nineteen
“Y
ou’re quiet this morning.” Tuck shifted the weight of the near seventy-or-so-pound
pack on his back. The sound of his boots hitting the dirt in the dim morning light
melded with those of the cadets ahead, and Logan’s beside him.
“Yup.” Logan’s one-word response had Tuck glancing sideways at him.
“Something wrong?”
“Nope.”
“All righty.” This was going to be one hell of a retreat if this conversation set
the tone for the next two days.
Logan’s pace slowed. Not enough for the cadets hiking ahead of them to notice, but
enough for Tuck to. There was no way Logan was winded. First, this walk was a piece
of cake. Second, Logan would never fall out of a march, even if he were exhausted
and near collapse. It would set a bad example for the cadets. His hanging back must
mean he wanted privacy.
Tuck matched Logan’s slower stride as the distance between them and the line of cadets
ahead increased. “What’s up?” he asked.
“You tell me.”
“Um, all right. Can you give me some direction as to what I’m supposed to be telling
you?”
“Forget it.” Logan shook his head. “I shouldn’t even be fucking asking you this, because
as your superior officer I truly don’t want to know if you’re openly flaunting the
university’s fraternization rules.”
Tuck’s boot hit a loose rock on the path, and he stumbled before catching himself.
This was about Becca? Both of his friends—Logan and Jace—needed to get a life if all
they could do was worry about his. He let out a snort. “That rule is archaic, but
even so, I’m not openly flaunting it, as you say.”
“What about behind closed doors?”
“Well . . .” Tuck tilted his head and grimaced. “You’re right. You’d better not ask
if you don’t want to know.”
“Okay, I get the idea.”
“You disappointed in me?” He glanced sideways at Logan and kept walking.
“Hell, no.” Logan laughed. “I’d be disappointed in you if you let that opportunity
pass you by. That’s me speaking as your friend and surrogate big brother. As your
commander, however . . .”
“I know, I know. Let’s just keep it
don’t ask, don’t tell
.”
Logan let out a snort. “That former policy wasn’t instituted for this particular kind
of situation, but I guess it’ll work. Just be careful. Okay? And that’s both your
friend and your commander talking.”
“Understood.” Tuck nodded.
One of the kids up ahead slowed, then turned and waited for Logan and Tuck to catch
up.
“Something I can do for you, cadet?”
“No, sir. I just wanted to thank the sergeant for the recommendation of that restaurant
in Drumright. Me and a few of the other guys drove out there yesterday. You’re right.
Best smoked bologna sandwich in Oklahoma.”
Tuck’s heart skipped. “Oh, good. Glad you liked it.”
“We loved it, sir. Were you there yesterday, too? I think we just missed you. I saw
your truck pulling out right as we were pulling in.” The kid’s question sounded innocent
enough, but Tuck still felt his pulse racing.
He tried to remember that they couldn’t have seen inside his truck if they weren’t
sure it was him. His brain spun with the question, lie or tell the truth? Sticking
as close to the truth as possible was always the best way to lie, so under the watchful
eye of Logan—who had to be wondering what the hell was taking Tuck so long to respond
to a simple question—he answered.
“Yeah, I was there. Had the bologna myself. Hush puppies, too. You ever try those?”
He tried to swing the conversation away from his being there, and who might have possibly
been in the truck with him, by concentrating on food, figuring about now the cadets
should be starting to get hungry.
“Oh, yeah. I love those things. You ever try the big stack? That sandwich where they
pile up all that brisket and sausage and coleslaw?”
Tuck nodded, relieved the kid seemed way more interested in beef than in Becca. “Yup.
I’ve had it. Good stuff.”
Logan shot Tuck a look that said he knew there was more to the story, but they had
put the don’t ask, don’t tell policy in place, so Tuck ignored it and let the kid
keep babbling about barbecue. Silently though, he made a vow to himself he and Becca
would start to be much more careful. From now on takeout only. Which, considering
how much he enjoyed the time they spent alone together in her apartment, wouldn’t
be a bad thing.
Thoughts of Becca occupied him throughout the rest of the march. Even through setting
up the campsite. He kept how much she occupied his mind to himself. What choice did
he have? Logan didn’t want to know. Correction, his friend Logan wanted to know. It
was safer for all involved if his boss, battalion leader LTC Logan Hunt, didn’t know.
Stupid frigging non-fraternization rules.
As Tuck sat beside the campfire, he had too much time to think. Think about what it
would be like between Becca and him if those rules didn’t exist. Then again, those
rules he was beginning to despise might just save him. Those rules forced him to take
things slow with Becca, at least as far as the public was concerned. They sure as
hell hadn’t taken things slow in the bedroom.
But the deep scars from his ex-wife’s betrayal were just starting to heal, so it was
better that the first woman he was interested in being with for more than a night
since then couldn’t be his public girlfriend. That way if things went south, at least
the public humiliation of the breakup would be eliminated. Not the private pain, though.
Maybe he should just stop all this thinking. He and Becca were having fun together.
That was enough. For now.
As the sun dropped lower toward the horizon over Lake McMurtry, it turned the dim
hues of blue in the sky to mottled streaks of pink and orange. Tuck took a sip of
the hot coffee in his cup and thought how beautiful Becca would look in this light.
How nice it would be to roll out his sleeping bag and make love to her right there
on the ground next to the fire.
What the hell? He wasn’t supposed to be thinking of shit like this during an ROTC
training while surrounded by the entire cadre.
He tore into his MRE. Maybe food would distract him. Nothing like one of Uncle Sam’s
Meals-Ready-to-Eat to remind a man where he was and what he was doing.
This MRE was supposed to be a tasty
Southwest style beef and black beans with sauce
. At least that’s what the label on the package said. You could have fooled Tuck.
He swallowed a mouthful and longed for a sandwich from Joseph’s Fine Foods.
The thought only made him more dissatisfied with his current meal and brought to mind
Becca and the look on her face as she bit into her first ever hush puppy. That led
to him thinking about how he couldn’t wait to see her again tomorrow night when he
finally got home from this retreat. He could shower and then pick up some takeout
and be at her house by dinnertime. He could sleep over so they’d have the whole night
together and still be up early enough to work out with the cadets in the morning.
He stopped his fork halfway to his mouth when the full impact of what he was thinking
hit him. This thing with Becca was a slippery slope. He’d willingly spend every waking
moment he could with her if that were possible. The last woman he’d felt this way
about was now his ex-wife. The thought scared the shit out of him.
This OSU no dating rule wasn’t so bad after all. He lowered his gaze and lifted his
fork, specifically not wondering whether Becca was noticing at that very moment how
gorgeous tonight’s sunset was.
He tried to distract himself. Tomorrow’s repelling and climbing exercise should keep
his mind occupied, even if today’s land navigation training course had not. Though
he had a feeling it would take much more than basic survival training to knock thoughts
of Becca from his brain. In fact, an actual insurgent attack like the ones he’d lived
through in Afghanistan might not even do it at this point.
Chapter
Twenty
T
uck’s cell phone rang just as the steam began to fill the bathroom from the hot water.
The only thing that could tempt him to delay the pleasure of a much-needed shower
after a two-day retreat would be Becca, and since he’d just gotten home and hadn’t
talked to her yet, the call could very well be her.
He flipped the water off and reached for the phone lying on top of the heap of camouflage
on the floor. The display spelled out LOGAN, and he nearly dumped the phone back onto
the floor and let him wait. Logan had had him at his beck and call for the past two
days. Why the hell was he bothering Tuck now when he’d just barely walked in the door?
Couldn’t a man even take a shower in peace?
Hitting the button to answer, he decided to give Logan a piece of his mind. “Jeez,
man. I just left you a few minutes ago. What could you possibly need—”
“I need you to get into my office.
Now
.” Logan, obviously in full commander mode, interrupted Tuck’s bitching.
Tuck let out a huff of air. Something must have happened with one of the cadets and
Logan wanted Tuck to deal with it. They’d only had the juniors and seniors with them
on the retreat. God only knew what kind of trouble the new crop of incoming freshmen
and sophomores could have gotten into over the past two days while he was gone. “Fine.
I’ll be there as soon as I shower.”
“No. Now.”
“Logan, I’ve got two days’ worth of campsite dirt and stink—”
“Tucker. Now.” When Logan used that tone of voice, he meant business.
“All right. I’ll be right there.” But he’d be there in a dirty uniform. That’s what
Logan got for not giving him time to shower, forget about do laundry.
Annoyed, Tuck walked into the military studies office with an attitude, but one look
at Logan’s face dispelled it. “What happened?”
“Shut the door.”
Shit. This couldn’t be good. Tuck did as asked, then moved to sit in the chair on
his side of Logan’s big head-of-the-department desk. Then he waited.
Logan hit a few keys on his laptop, then spun it to face Tuck. The video was a grainy,
black-and-white image typical of surveillance tapes. It took him a second to place
where it had been taken, but once his brain registered that those dark, close-set
walls were shelves of books, his heart rate doubled. Tuck swallowed hard and watched
the two forms on the video. Watched the larger of the two back the smaller one up
against the shelves and start kissing her.
He finally wrestled his focus away from the screen to look at Logan. His mouth open
even though he was speechless, Tuck shook his head, not knowing what to ask first.
Logan’s brows rose. “This is what you call being discreet?”
“How did you get this?” That question seemed as good as any to begin with.
“I’m the one who got the guy who watches the security cameras all night his job.”
Tuck glanced back at the images on screen. He and Becca were really getting into it,
but still, it was nearly impossible to tell who the people in the video were. If he
hadn’t been the one with his hands and mouth all over Becca, he probably wouldn’t
have been able to identify them. “How did he know it was me? Or know to bring this
to you?”
“There’s a nice clear shot of your face when you finally stop mauling her and turn
to leave. He recognized you as one of mine.”
“Oh.” Not much more Tuck could say to that, except to ask, “What now? What does this
mean?”
Logan’s answer would determine not only his future, but also Becca’s. He was more
worried about her than himself. He might lose this billet and get shipped back overseas,
but they wouldn’t kick him out of the army for something like this. Could they? He
wasn’t so sure.
Either way, Becca shouldn’t be punished and lose her job because of his inability
to control himself. He’d do whatever was necessary to ensure that.
The delay in Logan’s answer only served to ramp up Tuck’s anxiety. Of course, that
was probably the intent. Finally, Logan said, “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Tuck repeated him, afraid to believe it was true.
“My friend in security broke the rules, put his own job in jeopardy, and gave me the
only copy of the tape.”
“Why would he do that for me?” He didn’t even know this guy.
“He didn’t do it for you. He did it for me. You see, when he retired from the military
with such severe PTSD he was afraid to even drive a car because the street noise could
send him mentally back to the war zone, I got him a good job where he could sit in
a nice, quiet room and watch monitors.”
Tuck dropped his chin and closed his eyes, trying to fully absorb exactly how lucky
he and Becca both were, thanks to Logan. He finally looked up. “Thank you. I owe you.”
More than he could ever repay.
“You sure as hell do owe me, and starting right now things are going to change.”
His attention snapped to Logan’s words. Tuck’s fear of what he was implying made his
mouth go dry. “What do you want me to do?”
Logan shook his head and let out a curse. “Dammit, Tuck. Couldn’t you have found a
girl who wasn’t a professor here?”
“I didn’t know when I met her in July—”
“I know.” Logan cut him off. “And that’s one reason I’m not telling you never to see
her again.”
“You’re not?”
“But I swear to God, if you don’t start being more discreet. . . What the hell were
you thinking? Taking her out to eat at a restaurant you recommend to the cadets? Practically
having sex in the library?”
“I know. I was stupid. It was risky. None of that will happen again.”
“Make sure it doesn’t.”
He nodded and sat, waiting, not sure if this well-deserved reprimand was over or not.
Logan glared at him for a long, uncomfortable moment. In his decade in the military,
Tuck had been glared at by the best of them. This was different, though, because Logan
was a friend. More, he was like a big brother, and Tuck had disappointed him. There
was nothing Logan could say or do to him that would outweigh the feeling of disappointment
he had in himself.
“Get out of here.”
“Yes, sir.” He rose, his head spinning so he didn’t even remember opening the door
and leaving the office. The next thing he knew he was outside the building, staring
at his cell phone in his hand. He didn’t know what to do, to tell Becca or not, but
he needed to hear her voice.
She picked up on the second ring. “Hey, are you back home now?”
“Yup. Well, I’m still on campus actually, but I’m on my way home.”
“That’s good. So what did you do on your camping trip? Or is it top secret, military-type
stuff?” She sounded so cheerful and upbeat, how could he possibly lay the weight of
what he’d found out from Logan on her?
He decided to make small talk and stall while he considered the situation. “No. Not
top secret at all. We had a paintball game. Did some climbing. Land nav. You know,
basic survival stuff.”
“Ah, of course.” Her tone told him she had no idea what land nav or basic survival
training was, but she was pretending she did anyway.
Even as ill as he felt over the situation, he couldn’t help smiling at how damn cute
she could be. “What did you do while I was gone?”
“Oh, I did exciting stuff. I finished unpacking the last of the boxes. I jostled some
money between the new zero percent interest credit card I just opened and the outstanding
balance on my old card. I can use the interest I’m going to save each month to help
pay the rent here.”
He frowned. “I didn’t know money was that tight for you.”
“Being out of work for a few months ate up my savings. Then the cost of flying out
here for the interview went on my credit card. And to move I had to rent a trailer.
Pay for gas for the drive from New York to Oklahoma, which with today’s prices is
a small fortune. Then I had to lay out a security deposit and a month’s rent for the
apartment. It all adds up.” She paused. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I’ll
be fine once I start getting my paychecks from OSU. Now, if I
hadn’t
gotten this job, then that would have been something to worry about.”
Her laugh was light and casual, but he felt anything but. Becca needed this job. Badly.
If she lost it because of him, he’d never forgive himself. He wasn’t going to let
that happen.
“So, what are your plans for tonight?” There was a suggestive lilt to her voice. Before
his visit with Logan, that would have sent Tuck running to her apartment. Now, not
so much.
Thoughts of her apartment had him facing a harsh reality. She lived just off campus.
Her neighbors were mostly students. It was amazing he hadn’t already been spotted
sneaking out of her place in the middle of the night. Hell, maybe he had and that
other shoe was about to drop.
And his truck . . . it stood out like a sore thumb. Not just because it was big, which
was true of most trucks in this area, but the
ARMY STRONG
bumper sticker and the ARMY emblem on the back window screamed it was his.
He couldn’t go to her place. It was a risk they couldn’t take. “Actually, I’m kind
of beat. All I want to do is shower and fall into bed.”
“Okay.” That one word conveyed how disappointed she was.
“It’s just that after two days of hiking and a night of sleeping on the ground . .
.”
“I understand.”
He steeled his resolve. He couldn’t give in and go there. Not when he had so many
things to figure out. Knowing her relationship with him could cost her a job she desperately
needed put a whole new perspective on whatever this thing was between them. Still,
he had to give her something to dispel that insecurity he heard creeping into her
voice. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“All right.”
“Night, Becca.”
“Good night, Tucker.”
He hung up the phone feeling like absolute crap and wanting nothing more than to drive
directly to her place.
Shit.
What the hell was he going to do?