One (Bar Dance) (16 page)

Chapter
Twenty

I sat in yet another office with Bray. We had been to this particular lawyer a few times. He was explaining in terms that made sense to him and Bray. Me on the other hand, not so much. I kind of got that Bray would be my manager and producer. Vince and Black Day would be my Label. I wouldn’t be required to tour. We would record at Bray’s studio and he was using studio musicians. When the lawyer looked to me and asked. “Do you understand or do you have any objections?” I had enough legal-eze to last a life time. More than that I was tired of being the stupid girl in the corner. Yes, they could understand each other but I was just this much short of enough caffeine and they had just stepped over that line.

So
I started to explain joint formations. How the muscles and ligature helped to form shape so that an object, such as a pen, could be held. I even went further to explain how the veins fed the muscles so that they would have the control to hold said pen in minute detail. Then I explained the medical name of every single joint, muscle, vein and capillary that fed to the fingers that held the pen. I reached out and grabbed his pen holding it up and wiggled it side to side.

They both looked at me as if I had sprouted a third eye and it was dripping pus down my face.

“What?” I said innocently. “I just told you that I can hold a pen. It made perfect sense to me. I thought that we were being technical here.”

Bray burst out laughing. Phillip
Maxwell LLC, aka the lawyer, hid behind his lip twitch as not to grin at me.

“Okay.” Phillip hit a button. “Off the clock now.” He then spent an hour explaining in layman’s terms what it all meant. I finally understood
what he said.

“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” I said as I signed my life away to the music industry.

For once he didn’t hide his grin. “My way makes me sound smarter.”

I grinned back at him
slightly. “Not really but I promise not to tell you what it did make you sound like. Even more I won’t bill you for my medical explanation of holding a pen.”

He slid another pile of papers towards Bray. “Industry standard non-disclosures and pay rates. Keep the originals give the
m copies only. I will forward these to all applicable parties. The two of you included.” He stood and held out his hand for us to shake. We did. “It has been a pleasure working with you.”

He led us to the door and walked us to the foyer. “Ms. Chapman. Just so you know, my wife calls me her pompous ass.”

I smiled at him. “I like your wife already sir.”

I slumped against the side of the elevator for all eleven floors that we had to go down. I finally said to Bray on the fourth floor. “If you drag me to another lawyer I telling your mom that you are being mean to me.”

Bray just smiled to the elevator door. “Just protecting the two of us.”

“Whatever.” I said with the best impersonation of Glory’s fourteen year old daughter in mind. Including the mandatory eye roll.

“You just need food. You seem to be much happier after you’ve eaten.”

“Let you in on a secret.” The door opened and I walked past him. “It’s the caffeine in soda form, with lots of ice
, that is what gets me in the better mood.”

We climbed in his car. “It’s also getting out of these stupid shoe
s. Six new outfits that I love. The new shoes. Not so much.”

“Wear flip flops. I don’t care.” He shrugged at me.

“You’re not a girl. Of course
you
don’t care.” I grouched at him.

“I’m hurrying. I’m hurrying. Soda soon. I promise.”

I giggled. “Angie has been a good influence on you I see.”

“So have you.” He backed out. “You handled him well with your medical jargon.
Me too. I should have known earlier and been better about it.”

“So should I. I didn’t get it but you seemed to. I have never once thought that you didn’t have my best interest in mind. If I didn’t understand it is my responsibility to say so.” I shrugged even though he wasn’t watching.

He pulled in to a diner and parked. “What was it that you said by the way?”

I giggled. “The joints bend with help of muscles and tendons that are fed be veins so that we can hold something as simple as a pen.”

He started chuckling. “You took twenty minutes to tell me that you can hold a pen?”

“Yep.” I smiled at him. Then I flipped him off. “Do you want a medical explanation of what I just did?”

“Hell no. You need a soda.”

**

I was back in a good mood, despite my headache, until we walked in and I saw Vince Ross sitting strategically at a table. We got close and I turned with a smile on my face. I connected below the heart but above his diaphragm with the right hook that he had accused me of. I sat without holding out my hand. “Mr. Ross.” I kicked off my shoes aiming for his shins. I was pretty sure that I connected from the wince on his face with the first shoe. I think that either he hid the next one or I missed. I couldn’t tell.

“Ms. Chapman. Brayden had said that you were seeing lawyers today. I see that is correct.”

I opened my mouth to describe my hand action to Bray earlier, but he put his arm across the back of my chair with a squeeze against my neck. “Yes. We just came from there. I’m afraid that I am a little low on my caffeine intake.”

“I think from your look you may be a little over your legal bullshit level. I apologize for my abrupt appearance. I have a six hour layover. I thought that I would spend it wisely.”

The waitress came and took our order. Vince stopped her. “My friend has an extreme caffeine headache. Can you bring her two at the same time?”

“Sure.” She said. I envisioned her with bubble gum in her mouth and started laughing.
While I rubbed my temples.

Both Vince and Bray looked at me. “Double bubble. Do either one of you have a piece? She would be hilarious
chomping away at it.”

Bray pulled me against his shoulder. “How can you and Rand be brothers and smell so different?
I don’t get it.” I rolled my eyes up to his.

“Relax. I won’t make you see another lawyer for a while.”

I did relax and Bray ordered for me as a slugged back my first soda. When I was done I straightened and set my glass down. “I’ll be back in just a minute.” I stood up not asking for my shoes and went in search of the restrooms.

When I was washing my hands I decided that I needed some cool water on my face.
I managed to only get a few drops on my shirt. I knew that I owed both men an apology. Especially Vince. He hadn’t done anything wrong other than catch me at a bad moment. I prided myself on rarely losing my temper. I also hated to
have
to apologize. I sucked in a few breaths and walked back to our table.

I stuck out my hand. “Vince.”

He visibly started.

“I would like to introduce myself. The non-ogre Terra. I believe that ogre-Terra is taking a walk.”

He shook my hand. “Glad to see you again. You had me worried.”

I sat. “I owe you an apology. I lost my temper at the lawyers and you were the first person that I encountered. You got the brunt of it instead of the person that deserved it.”

“So the double whammy was you kicking him not really me.”

I knew my face was bright red but I held my head high.
“You can throw them back to me and then I can kick Bray. That’s who I wanted to kick.”

“I’ll keep the weapons for the time being.” He was visibly chuckling. He had a gleam in his eyes. He obviously found my temper tantrum funny.

“So tell me how it is really going.”

“I have no fricking clue. I feel like this is the first time on a roller coaster. This part feels like the slow approach to the top where I’m going to get thrown over the edge not knowing where it will take me.”

“Good analogy for a first time artist. Do you want me to give you a road map?”

“I would love one.” I glared at Bray. “But if you use any legal-eze homicidal-Terra will probably make an appearance.”

Vince gave Bray a pointed stare. “Usually your manager would have taken care of this beforehand.”

Bray ducked his head. “She’s so good, even I forget this is her first time through the grinder.”

Vince reached down and pulled up his briefcase. He pulled a legal pad out and put the case back on the floor. “The two of you are doing all of this out of order.” He pulled out a pen. “Normally the manager signs an artist then goes in search of work. Bray already had the work and you have the blueprint for the album. That is almost always the last thing that you do before going in to the studio.” He was tapping against the paper.

He made a list down one side that had about thirty entries. Then he made lines to the other side showing what we have done re-writing the new list. The second list was only about twenty entries that I could count while trying, and failing, to read his scribble upside down. He turned the paper towards me and left the pen on top of it.

“I can’t say that his way isn’t faster but it was probably a lot more stressful for you. Especially since you didn’t know what was going to be throw at you.”

I did a quick count in column one. It was closer to thirty five. List two was indeed twenty. Both ended without lines attaching each side together. There was studio, digital and money left unattached. Today’s lawyer in column two had four different entries from column one drawn to it. No wonder my head hurt. I had finished my second soda while I looked over the paper. I was surprised when I
heard myself slurp. I looked up embarrassed. “Sorry.”

Vince motioned to the waitress and pointed to my empty glass. She came back with two more post haste.

“Okay. I get almost all of it now. Knowing these guys for a while I actually understand, mostly, why Bray did what he did. I actually am kind of grateful. I don’t have a lot of spare time myself.”

“Are you still in school?” Vince asked casually.

“One more week and one on-line class. Then I get to study for boards. Yeah.” The yeah came out as I mean it to. Flat and no enthusiasm behind it.

“Not looking forward to that I take it.”

“The tests are expensive and not user friendly. If you don’t pass the first time, which most don’t, you get to take them again at your own expense.” I shook my head. “Not looking forward to that.”

Food arrived and I realized that I was starving. I scarfed my food down in record time. I was honestly feeling human again when I was done.

“So can you explain the last three entries to me?” I finally mumbled around my last fry.

“I don’t know how Bray has studio time planned. He hasn’t shared that with me.”

“On purpose.” Bray set his napkin on top of his plate.

Vince ignored the barb. “Once he has
the final product he sends it to my people and we market it.”

“Market?” I asked.

“Any and all places that can get it to an audience. Preferably ones that will buy and or sell it.”

“Ever hear of iTunes?” Bray asked.

I know that my eyes got wide and my mouth dropped open.

“We won’t go on tour but there may be a few interviews. Most can be done over the phone or they will have to come to us if they want to talk to you in person.”

I did a number of slow blinks at Bray after he said that. Then I answered, “Okay.”

“I set up a great shield of accountants and lawyers that will take care of almost everything. It will require a few more signatures but not much more from you than that.”

I didn’t know what to do with that information so I said the only word that I seemed to have. “Okay.”

“You should receive a card in a few days and a statement from the account when sales start.” Bray shrugged.

I looked to Vince. He smiled at me. “I take a healthy chunk out of it. No worries.”

I slugged back one more soda. Unrepentant at the slurp at the end. I stood up. “I gotta pee again.” I stood up and two male chuckles followed as I walked away
, shoeless. iTunes was one of my addictions. I couldn’t imagine being on it. Maybe I might get more than one hundred people who at least looked at it. I had visions of showing it off at work and pointing to it at work and saying, “Look. That’s me.”

Showoff that I am.
How awesome would that be!

Then I sent I silent thank you to Dakota who had unknowingly sent me down this path.

Chapter
Twenty One

All of a sudden it was July. The second week of July to be exact. Bray said he needed the first weeks to put down tracks. Whatever that meant.

I spent most of the
first two mornings standing in front of a microphone that had a spit guard in front of it. I had fitted ear pieces. I felt like I did a good enough job. It was hard to tell since the music was in my ear and Bray’s eyes were on his board. It was anti climatic and I hated it. There was no one to judge by. I did my best. Most of the time my eyes were closed so that I could envision people.

Truth be told I d
espised it. I was pretty sure that it showed.

Half way through the second day Bray threw down his ear covers. “You sound dead. Why?”

“It is dead! I have the top of your head to judge how I’m doing.” I stomped around the room. I finally whirled around. “As interesting as your hair follicles may be they don’t relay anything back to me.” I was tapping my foot with my hands on my hips. “I feel like I can’t move away from the spit machine and there is nothing.”

I scowled at his surprise.
“Nothing!” I stomped around even more throwing my hands in the air pulling my hair as I glared at him.

“Nothing
to give me an idea of what I need to do!” I was huffing and puffing as if I had ran a mile. I threw my hands up in the air and stormed out of the room.

Bray found me by
the front door. I wanted to just walk out of it. What I was doing was banging my head against the wall. Literally. What we had done before was fun. There was interaction before. Now I had a spit guard as my companion.

A spit guard.

Yeah me!

Right. I wiped the tears off of my face. Then I banged my head one more time.

Hard.

I finally turned around. I was going to go get my purse and leave. I had had enough for one day. Bray was standing there with both elbows in the air rubbing against his neck. I walked around him but he stopped me with one hand against my arm.

“I’m doing this all wrong aren’t I?”

I pulled my arm away and backed up. I had a lump in my throat that was about the size of a cantaloupe. I hit the wall that I had been banging my head against. I slid down it until I was on my butt. I put my arm
s across my knees and my head on top of my arms. The tears fell freely. I finally lifted my head hitting it against the wall very much on purpose.

I pierced him with my stare. “When I was dancing I did a lot of solos. I always had an instructor that would lead me through the practices. Tiff was great. She would correct me. She would lead me. She would
watch
me. I could judge how I was doing by her reaction to me.” I took a deep shuddering breath. “Not once did she leave me. Not in her actions or her responses. Then when I got on stage I always could find one person. One. Just one who would look at me so that I could see if they liked what I was doing.”

I pointed down the hall. “In there, I have nothing. Fucking nothing.” I dropped my head back to my arms. “It was fun when it started. Now I don’t care if you rip up the contracts and burn them.” I put my arms around my legs and pulled myself in a tight ball.

Most my life I just had myself. I would be okay by myself again. I kept repeating in my mind. Over and over again. I didn’t need this shit.

I had twelve more days of vacation. I could have a different variety of Ben and Jerry’s for breakfast every morning. Maybe go shopping and then have Haggen-Daz for lunch. Rand could pick up frozen yogurt for dinner. At least that would be a change. Then I could go back to the kids and paint my hair. I was thinking black was a good color. I was seriously contemplating changing all my hair black with purple low lights at the moment.
I felt bruised from the inside out. I wanted to show it too.

Bray slumped against the wall beside me. He banged his head against his knees. “You are good. So good I want it on the air yesterday.” He said quietly next to me. “I didn’t listen to anyone when they told me that I was being too careless. I knew what I wanted and I was going for it.”

I whispered to my knees. “Go for it. But go it alone.” I started to unwrap myself so that I could stand and walk away.

“Terra, please?”

I confided something that I never thought that I would tell another living soul. “When we started this shit I had just taken a list of my patients to Adam. Scripts that were being filled against dead patients. I lived with the worry that I was going to lose my job. I figured that I was going to jail for disclosing patient information. Yet I sang for you as best that I could. I didn’t even tell Rand about it.” I took a deep breath. “He finally got it out of me. When I got hysterical he calmed me down and took care of me.”

“You took me to
one lawyer, then to another lawyer, then to yet another lawyer and didn’t explain shit to me. Not once. Vince did. Vince off all people. He would eat my liver and ask for Fava Beans on the side. He calmed me down. A stranger to me.”

I had my keys in my pocket
and my cell phone in my back pocket. I figured that I could send Sam to get my purse later. I walked out the door. Screw it, I was done.

Unfortunately I had a conscience. It wouldn’t let me start my ten year old car and just drive away.
I just curled up in the front seat and fell asleep with my head against the console.

In the parking lot of Bray’s studio.

Right in front of his door.

Alone and c
rying in my car that was so hot that it rivaled hell itself.

**

I woke up to someone tapping against my window. I was disoriented. I tried to focus but just couldn’t seem to. The tapping got louder so I sat up to look out my window. It was Sam and she was getting tired of waiting it appeared. She was the only other person who had a spare key to my car and I knew that she had used it when the door opened.

“Scoot.” She made a shooing motion to me.

“What?” I was confused.

“Scoot over.” She semi repeated.

“What?” I said again.

“Move your ass over. I’m getting in.” She gave me a light shove. I put my butt on the console and swung my legs over plopping to the passenger seat. She turned on my car and turned the air on to high. The windows got cracked open, the radio got shut off and she backed my car up. “It’s hot as hell in here and you need water and food.”

I seemed to only have one word for her today. “What?” I was starting to wake up a bit. I realized that Sam was furious. At me or something else I couldn’t tell. She drove for about ten minutes without saying not one word to me.

When she parked s
he walked around my car, pulled me out then walked me inside. I got a light push towards the bathroom. “Go rinse your face off. You drooled. I’ll order.”

I came back out and found her at a booth. Yet an
other burger, under salted fries, a cup of ice water and the blessing I was hoping for. An extra-large soda. I sat. Drank most of my water and dug in to the food. I finally dared to speak to her. “Who exactly are you pissed at?”

“The world in general right at the moment. You included.”

“Oh.” At least it wasn’t ‘what’ this time.

She finished eating. Sat back and glared at me.

“What?” I said around a bite.

“You get mad enough at Bray to walk out on him, crying, I might add. You didn’t call me?” She fumed. “You cried yourself to sleep in your car? What the hell Terra?
Your car was hot enough to melt your brain.”

“I was going to call you to go and get my purse.” I glared back at her.

“When? Two days from now after you throw away a chance of a life time?” She had shoved the debris to the side. “Or died in the heat?” Her forearms on the table. She was starring daggers at me. “I thought that you were more of a fighter than that shit.”

I shoved my remnants to the side and mimicked her stance. “I was mad. No
, worse. I was hurt. I trusted him and I felt abandoned.” I held her eyes, “Again.”

“So you call in reinforcements. You don’t just walk away.” Her tone gentled a touch.

I pulled my hands up rubbing my forehead. “I’m in way over my head Sam.” I looked to her pleadingly. “Way over. I’m scared and I felt flung out there not even knowing how to find my balance. I fell.”

“I know. Bray told me what happened.” She smiled and there was a wicked glint in her eyes. “I reamed him a new ass hole.”

I smiled a small smile. Then I sniffed fighting back tears. “I thought that he would guide me through it just like he has since the start. The last couple of weeks it’s like…” I wiped off the tear that escaped. “It’s like he expects me to know what to do. I don’t. I mean I do. I sing the songs that he taught to me but I don’t know what he wants and the top of his head with ear phones on aren’t telling me shit.”

“Why didn’t you ask him?”

“I did. His answer was ‘just sing them like you do’” I made air quotes. “So I did but there was nothing to judge it by. You know when we would practice and Tiff was always there to nod her head, or shake it. I knew where I was headed. Or when we dance we can find at least one person that looks like they enjoy it or a whole crowd that stares at you like you just fell?”

Sam nodded at me.

“I didn’t have that. I had the top of his head and a set of ear phones to stare at. Worse than that, I have a microphone with a spit guard so I don’t even feel like a can move.” I shrugged. “Before I had Bray’s eyes. I could move around and get the feel of the beat. I panicked.”

“Clearly.” Sam gathered all the trash and walked out the door. Obviously I followed her out. She climbed in my car, started in and waited patiently, or no
t so patiently, for me to get in. We drove back to the studio without her saying one word to me. She got out and marched inside. Again, I followed. Bray was in the reception area sitting with his head down. His elbows on his knees with his hands between his legs.

Sam walked down the hall. Depositing herself in the recording room. Her ankles were crossed as were her arms across her chest. I walked in. I wanted to kick the microphone
stand but refrained. Barely.

Rand stood and walked to me. He wrapped me up tightly with his head against the side of mine. I held tight to him whispering to his chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking out for you since my asshole brother didn’t.” He stated loudly against the side of my head.

I gra
bbed on tighter. I had no words for his compassion. I heard a chair scrape against the floor and a sigh as, I assumed, Bray sat on it. “You and I need to talk Terra.”

I knew that I had acted like a teenager storming out. I just didn’t have it in me to care at that moment.
I nodded to Rand’s chest. “I know.”

“Can you look at me?”

I shook my head no but answered, “Okay.” I slowly turned keeping most of my body plastered against Rand. He felt like my rock in this storm.

“I keep letting you down.” He scrubbed his face. “You and Sam have let me know how badly I let you down.”

I looked to Sam and she was clearly smirking at him. I turned my eyes back to Bray. He stood and came towards me. He pried me from Rand’s hold and wrapped his arms around me. “Can we start over?” He whispered against my hair.

I lifted my hands finally and gave him back a hug. “Can we?
Or are we too far over the line now?”

His arms tightened then he turned me back towards Rand. “So first things first. We get rid of the microphone stand. We go back to overheads.” He walked to the dreaded spit cover and walked it out to the hallway. I heard a whirring but didn’t let go of Rand. “I’ll lose the head phones and go back to ear pieces. I still have to keep my head down but Sam has offered to stay for the day. I’ll make sure that there is at least two people in the room with you, besides me, at all times.”

I nodded.

“People you know or will know. People I trust to stay quiet but will give you what you need.”

I nodded again.

“Are you in any shape to try one?”

“No.” I answered honestly. “But I will.”

Bray tossed his head phones to a corner. “Those cost a fortune I want you to know.”

I giggled.

He went to a closet and pulled out a pair of weird looking ear buds. “I don’t like these as well. They work as well but…” He put them in. “I look like an alien with them in.”

“He is an alien.” Rand said loudly. “From another planet called Not My Brother.”

Sam snorted.

I giggled.

Rand kissed me with feeling and a lot of groping. He let me go. “Give him hell.” He swatted me on the butt and went to sit down by Sam.

Bray produced the same headphones and wireless that I had before. “I still need you to wear this so that you can hear the tracks that are already laid down. I’ll get a set for the twins here so they can hear you and the music.”

He did and I started relaxing. Sam kicked off her shoes. They had a hard sole. Somehow I knew what she was telling me. If I needed her to move with me she was there for me. I blew her an air kiss throwing my arm wide.