On to Richmond (41 page)

             
Carrie gazed at her in sympathy, wondering what to say to this revelation. 

             
Victoria read her face.  “Don’t feel you have to respond.  There is really nothing to say.  Almost everyone is in the same boat as I am.  That’s the one thing that makes these social gatherings bearable for me.  I at least know I am with people who are united in interest and in heart.  It helps me keep going.”

             
Carrie gazed around the room with new eyes.  How many more of the people here didn’t really agree with the war that had been thrust upon them?  As she looked, new understanding crept into her heart.  It didn’t matter to these people whether they agreed with this war in principle or not.  The fact was they had loved ones who were fighting.  They had loved ones who might never come home again - or come home horribly wounded.  These people would pour forth all their efforts and energies for their loved ones.  It was that simple.  The big decisions had been taken from their hands.  They would do the best they could. 

             
Victoria seemed to read her thoughts.  “It’s sad, really,” she commented, gazing around the room as well.  “Five months ago practically every person in this room would have considered it unpatriotic not to push for the cause of Southern independence.  Now many of them still push for it, but not for the same reason.  They’re no longer making a stand - they are simply fighting for survival.”  

             
Carrie liked her new friend, but she was relieved when her father walked over to her.  “Could I talk you into another dance?” he asked with a smile.

             
Carrie rose with an answering smile.  After Thomas gracefully acknowledged the introduction of her new friend, he led her in a rousing Virginia reel.  Carrie allowed herself to be once more lost in the music.  She was here to have fun. 

             
She and her father were both laughing and gasping for breath when the music came to an end.  “You’re still the best dancer in Virginia,” Carrie exclaimed.

             
“Only because I have the best partner.”

             
“Except for Mother.”

             
“Yes,” Thomas agreed with a smile, “except for your mother.”

             
Carrie gazed at her father with relief.  This was the first time in the almost year since her mother’s death that the mention of his wife had not caused her father’s face to be filled with pain.  The look was one of fond remembrance.  Carrie tucked her arm in his and squeezed it tightly.   A sudden movement at the door caught her attention.  She looked over to see a tall, stern-looking man in his sixties, quite distinguished looking in his gray uniform, enter the room.

             
Thomas followed her gaze.  “That is General Winder.”

             
“The man who gave me permission to visit Matthew?”

             
“That’s the one.”

             
Carrie smiled.  “I think I should go thank him.”

             
“I don’t think that is a very good idea right now.”

             
Carrie looked up at her father with a frown.  “Why not?”

             
Her father opened his mouth, but a shrill voice just beyond him drowned out any attempt to speak. 

             
“There’s the man in charge of those awful prisons.  I do declare, it’s shameful how he molly-coddles those prisoners!”

             
Carrie stared in amazement.  The lady speaking was one of the most influential people in Richmond society.  Carrie thought back to her visit with Matthew.  She had seen nothing that indicated molly-coddling. 

             
Another woman, one Carrie had never seen, carried on the conversation.  “It’s bad enough that we have to have those heathens in our city.  I don’t know why our officials seem to think they should eat our food and use our supplies.”

             
“Not to mention the danger they represent every single day,” the Richmonder snorted. 

             
“What do they propose we do with them?” Carrie whispered to her father. 

             
He didn’t have to answer.

             
“They need to send all of them farther south,” the second speaker snorted.  “I don’t know why people think Richmond has to do everything!   The rest of this country needs to take on its fair share of responsibility.”

             
Thomas took Carrie’s arm and led her away.  “Not exactly party talk, my dear.  And that is precisely why I suggested you not talk to General Winder.  The poor man is being attacked on every side about these prisons.  It’s dreaming to think he could make it through a night without having to face it, but on the off chance...”

             
Carrie nodded.  “Of course.”  Then she asked, “Have there been any conclusions about the prisoners?”

             
Thomas shook his head.  “I understand a lot of them are soon to be moved to other locations.  There is simply not room for them here.  And in spite of the abundance displayed here tonight, the blockade is having quite a negative effect on our city.  Food and other supplies are growing harder to come by.  Prices are shooting up dramatically.  People are beginning to worry whether there will be enough to take care of the mass of people crowding into our city.  I’m afraid they are not in a mood to be generous with the Yankees.”

             
“What about you, Father?”

             
Thomas shrugged.  “I think they need to be moved.  Richmond can simply not support all of them.   There are over two thousand of them in the city now.  But as long as they’re here, I think we need to take as good of care of them as possible.  I keep trying to imagine Robert or some of our other young men in Northern prisons.  I would hope they would be cared for.”

             
Carrie frowned at the thought of Robert in prison.  “I’m going to visit Matthew tomorrow,” she said.

             
Thomas nodded.  “I hope you’re able to get in.  I’m sure he will be glad to see you.  There is no telling how much longer he will be here.  Please give him my regards.”

             
Just then the lieutenant she had put off earlier walked up.  “May I claim my dance now?”

             
Carrie smiled and graciously assented, but the magic of the evening had been lost for her.  Cruel realities had dragged her back to the present. 

CHAPTER TWENTY

              Rose sighed wearily and pushed open the door to her cabin.  The cool bite in the air said Moses would bring in an armload of firewood for the first fire of the year.  The picture of flames flickering in the stone fireplace again made Rose smile.  She had always loved this time of year.  She enjoyed watching summer lose its hold on the land while fall moved forward boldly, painting vivid streaks through the trees and making the days cooler and shorter. 

             
She moved across the bare wooden floor, reached into a basket, and pulled out four ears of corn.  Mindlessly, she began to shuck them.   She wouldn’t take the corn out to the main cooking fire in the clearing.  Tonight, she would wait and cook supper over their own fire.  When the corn was ready, she cut two slabs of ham and mixed up some biscuits.  It still amazed her they were eating so well.  She had never seen the Cromwell slaves so healthy or so happy.  They worked hard all day, but then the evening was theirs.  Luxuriant gardens bordered each cabin and still produced fresh food for every table.  They had built extra holding pens for hogs, and every family benefited. 

             
Rose sighed.  If only it would stay that way.  She knew it couldn’t, though.   If the South won this war, Marse Cromwell would return, and with him a new overseer.  There was no telling what would happen then.  It was certain they would not operate with the newfound independence Carrie had granted them, though more work than ever was being done on the plantation.  Rose knew their freedom would be viewed as a threat to white control and would be abruptly ended.  

             
If the North won the war, the future was just as unknown.  Would the abolitionists have their way, or would the North continue to appease the South by letting them have their slaves?  If they were all set free, life would change immensely.  Rose was smart enough to see that.  People who had been told what to do every minute of their lives would suddenly be responsible for their own actions.  

             
As Rose considered that, she could feel the old excitement growing within her.  She didn’t hear the door quietly open or the footsteps cross the floor.  Suddenly she was engulfed by a strong pair of arms. 

             
“Where are you?”  Moses whispered teasingly in her ear.

             
Rose smiled and turned around to kiss him.  “Just lost in my thoughts, I guess.”  Then she changed the subject, noting the pile of wood on the porch.  “I’ll have dinner ready soon if you will build me a fire.”

             
Moses finished eating and leaned back against his chair.  “We brought in our first big load of beans and squash today.  I think Carrie will have to start sending wagons in every other day for a while.  With any luck, we’ll have three or four weeks of crops before the first hard freeze.”

             
“The potatoes and carrots are ready, aren’t they?”

             
Moses nodded.  “Some of the women are working to put away all we’ll need here.  It wasn’t much.  This spring’s garden took care of that.”

             
Rose looked at Moses’ face.  She could tell he was content.  He was doing what he had always wanted to do.  Be a farmer.  Watch the land produce food. Take part in the miracle of growth.  Was he really ready to give it all up?
              “Let’s talk about it,” Moses said suddenly.

             
“About what?”

             
“About whatever you’re thinking about.  This has gone on ever since Carrie left for Richmond.  You act like you’re in another world.”

             
Rose smiled sheepishly.  “I guess I have been.”  She paused, gazing into the flames for a long moment.  Then she turned to Moses.  “I guess Carrie going to Richmond made it all real to me.”

             
“About us leaving?” Moses guessed.

             
Rose nodded.  “I know she went to make arrangements for us.  She didn’t say so - I just know it.”

             
“I think you’re right.”

             
“Is this really what you want, Moses?”

             
Moses looked startled.  “What do you mean?  Are you asking if I really want to be free.”

             
Rose nodded.

             
“What kind of question is that?”
              “You’re so happy now.  You’re doing what you want to do.  You can live your dream right here.  It’s my dream that is going to take us away.  I worry you will resent it.”

             
Moses threw back his head and laughed. 

             
Rose frowned.  She didn’t find her thoughts funny. 

             
Finally Moses stopped laughing and looked at her.  He sobered instantly.  “Rose, I don’t know what has gotten in your head, but you need to throw it right back out.  You’re not seeing things clearly.  Sure I can farm here, but that’s not my
dream
.  My dream is to be free.  My dream is to have my own land.  Land I can do with whatever I want to.  Land that will support my family.  I’ll never have that here. And I could lose what I have here any minute.  You know what Carrie’s father said.  He wants me to come into Richmond next month.  That means we’ll have to be apart - for who knows how long.”  He stopped and stared at her.  “Your dream is as important to me as mine is.  Even if I
could
live my dream here, I wouldn’t.  You got to make your dream come true, too.  The only way for our dreams to happen is for us to be free.  You know that.”  He gazed into her eyes for a long moment.  “Where are all these thoughts coming from?  Are you getting afraid of leaving?”

             
Rose was ashamed to admit her own thoughts.  Slowly she nodded.  “I guess maybe I am,” she admitted.  “It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.  All I ever wanted.  I guess I just didn’t really think it would happen.  Now that it’s close, I guess it scares me.”  She paused for a long moment.  “I guess I wonder if I can do it.  If I can really be a teacher.  If anyone will let me teach their children.  If we’ll really make it to freedom.  What will happen if a slave hunter catches us?”