On the Verge (A Charmed Life Book 1) (25 page)

She couldn't stay annoyed for long, thought, and looked forward to everyone's reaction to the place, though she wished she could have presented it on her terms. That chance had passed, she supposed.

The warm comfort of friends buoyed her spirits from the frustration and stress of the past week, which was fading quickly to the sense of an unreal dream. That warm bubble of dream-like comfort kept being intruded upon, however, by the sensation that always happened now as she rode in a motor vehicle down the street - the constant waxing and waning of small points of pressure in her mind. She was amazed at how many people of magic lived in the city, though she supposed that with the population density, even a tiny percent of people added up to a lot. Every so often, she glanced out at a pedestrian hurrying through the cold, or a driver in another car stopped at a red light, and a look of acknowledgment passed between them. They knew what each other were, even if not whom.

The restaurant was crowded, and they had to wait for a while before there was a table available for them. They sat pressed together in the dark corner of the waiting area, talking to each other in loud voices to be heard over the hubbub of the restaurant. The topic often came back to Tracy and Sing as Jill pressed for more details, but Tracy didn't get to talk much as Sing kept breaking in to add his own embellishments to the story, or correct some small detail. Tracy laughed softly at his excitement, so different from his normal quiet demeanor.

After they were led to their table and placed their order, Stephen shifted the topic to the work story of the week. His boss had wanted him to write a program to search every document on every computer in the building.  Tracy matched that with a story with the crowning line of “What kind of two-bit company doesn't have an exorcist on staff?”  Ted demurred that his story wasn't as good, but eventually was convinced to tell about a customer who had wanted their money back on a product without having the product or even saying what it was – he had been called a 'pervert' for asking what she had been returning and why.  They were still trying increasingly absurd guesses as to what that had been when the food came.

Tracy enjoyed her sizzling skillet full of meat, though it smelled better than it tasted, and idly tried to figure out what spices they were using. Less garlic than she usually would use – less spice overall - and while she couldn't identify all the flavors, it gave her ideas to try in her own kitchen.

The meal was surprisingly quiet, once the food arrived, with everyone tucking in happily. Tracy thought of the old Norse saying, “Eat your fill before a feast, if you're hungry you have no time to talk at the table.”

Today, though, everyone was digging in, Tracy included, and while that always made it get a little quieter for a couple minutes, today that quiet stretched on and on. She'd never realized how much she had led the conversation after the food arrived. She slowly finished her current bite, then paused for a bit to smile to Alex. “So!” she chirped, cheerfully, “You haven't told us your big event of the week!”

Tracy was never a big eater, and while the past week had her much hungrier than usual, she still didn't eat more than half of the huge serving that restaurants always brought. She nibbled on dinner while she guided conversation, poking into everyone's lives and finding out what everyone had been up to. In a way, she was glad she was more aware of the conversation than normal and could guide it where she wanted. If anyone had tried to pry into her own week, she would have felt very awkward, but she reveled in the everyday lives of her friends, happy that the world was going on as it always had, despite her own experience.

It seemed all too soon that the car came to a stop on her own doorstep.  Alex and Jill had already been dropped off, leaving Sing and Tracy alone in the back seat.  The lingering brush of Sing's fingers over her hand still left her skin tingling, his light kiss still warm on her cheek as she climbed out.

The weekend had seemed quite far away before that evening with her friends, but come the next afternoon it seemed entirely too close.  Friday she was so nervous that she called into work sick and practiced for most of the day.  Finally and all too soon, it was Saturday morning.  The morning flew past in a haze – she wasn't even sure if she'd eaten anything against all her nervousness, and arrived early to the dojong.

After all the preliminaries, the match had started.  She wore her keiko gi, the billowing pants and snug jacket of Aikido Practice, her white belt snugged tightly around her waist.  As much as she'd tried to take care of it, she'd had to replace the keiko gi several times over the years, but never the white belt, no matter how dirty - stained with sweat, dirt, and one dark splotch where a mistake during practice had splashed her blood onto it.  As neat and tidy as she liked to be, she was proud of that grimy old belt, testament to the work she'd put in.

She stood opposite Grandmaster Lee on the mat, his dark-skinned face grinning with its shockingly white smile, unable to hide his pride of her.  Five other local grandmasters were seated on folding chairs along one wall, the only wall that didn't have black-belt students packed along it, watching solemnly as she sparred.  White-belt students weren't allowed to the black-belt test, nor were family.  This was only for the black-belts, and the hopeful.

She'd finished with everything else - all the katas, the stances, the free form demonstration.  All that was left was the sparring.  She didn't have to defeat Grandmaster Lee - thank goodness - all she had to do was put up a good showing, and she was feeling much more comfortable now, because this was something old and familiar.

“Begin,” said the old, strong voice of one of the Grandmasters, and the two started slowly circling each other, watching carefully.

They stood lightly on their toes, each step careful and balanced. In this, Tracy was satisfied with herself - she felt balanced, her movements like smooth dancing. And this, too, was familiar - the rest of the room faded out of her awareness, there was only the mats and her opponent. He was good, she knew that, but he seemed a little clumsier than usual today. His steps were as smooth and balanced, but he kept stepping a little too far, leaving just the smallest of openings. She watched him carefully, making certain, and on the third opening she started forward.

He shifted lightly in reaction to her movement, and she saw the grab before his hand even left the guard position.  She dropped back swiftly, as did he. Small movements, small shifting motions. For several minutes, they moved on like this without making a single attack, circling and shifting their weight to look for a sure advantage. It was the longest they'd ever gone like this, and Tracy was starting to be a little surprised that Grandmaster Lee hadn't attacked her yet. She knew her defense wasn't that unbreakable; he always found an opening to exploit or was just too fast for her. Today he seemed to be holding back.

“Hold!” came a voice, and the grandmasters, then the rest of the room, snapped back into Tracy's awareness. She bowed to Grandmaster Lee, as he did to her, then they turned to face the others.

The grandmaster second from the left - Tracy couldn't remember his name - had a slightly condescending air to him. “Does the kyu understand what a spar is? One generally does something during a spar other than walk around each other.”

Tracy flushed and pulled in on herself, looking at the floor. “Yes, sir,” she replied, embarrassed. She wouldn't explain herself - she knew better than to say too much.

“Well,” said another voice, sounding slightly amused. “Would the kyu like to share with us why she has not done anything yet?”

Tracy nodded, smiling, and brought her gaze back up. That would be Grandmaster Ito, the only one of the five other grandmasters that actually liked Grandmaster Lee. “Thank you, Sir,” she said respectfully. “There are two reasons. First, Grandmaster Lee and I have sparred many times. I am familiar with him, and I know that if I had attacked him at any of those times, he would be able to defeat me easily.  For instance, last opening I had meant to throw a punch, then grab his wrist when he blocked and pull him to the left, since his stance was slightly off, but as soon as I moved, he shifted again so he was poised to grab my punch.” She paused slightly after this, the detail in part to distract them while she tried to think of the best way to express the other reason.

“And the second?” asked Grandmaster Yoshida, and the tone of his voice left unsaid what she was sure he wanted to say - can the kyu count to two?

“I'm not good at attacking,” Tracy said flat out, not trying to cushion it. “I'm only good at reacting to attackers. The attacks just don't feel comfortable to me.”

Grandmaster Yoshida make a rude noise. “Not that old complaint,” he snapped. “There's nothing wrong with Aikido attacks, and this kyu will tell us differently?” Tracy cringed inwardly, trying to keep a calm exterior.

“That's not fair,” said Grandmaster Ito, reproachfully. “She was telling us her strengths and weaknesses, honestly and openly, and you took it as a challenge against Aikido. Can none of us say that there is something we were not struggling with when we took the Dan? It is not the end of lessons, after all.”

Two of the grandmasters looked a little sour at that, but the other two nodded in agreement.

Grandmaster Ito then turned back to Tracy and Grandmaster Lee. “Tracy,” he said gently, “The purpose of the spar is not actually to spar. In that, I approve - the perfect Aikido match is one without an attack. However, we need you to show us that you understand more than theory and form, we need to know that you can react to attacks as they come.”

Tracy nodded. “Thank you,” she said softly, and meant it for more than just the explanation. Most of the Grandmasters didn't like Grandmaster Lee, she knew - thought he should not have been given the title Grandmaster. She didn't know the details, but at least Ito was working to give her a fair chance – only a chance.  She obviously still had to earn it.

She banished these thoughts quickly from her mind as she and Grandmaster Lee faced each other once more.  They delivered the ritual bow, then struck ready poses.

Grandmaster Lee repeated that last opening quite deliberately, and she took advantage of it.  He shifted his weight lightly, and she automatically twitched to draw back, then forced herself forward, changing her attack into an advancing block. He tried to grab her wrist, and she pushed his hand away, rolling to his side and trying to trip him up with a hooked ankle. He hopped lightly over her foot, spinning to a defensive posture quickly as did she, the two of them grinning broadly at each other.

She attacked him a second time, then a third, each time turning her attack into a block and trying to find a grapple with him, and failing. The fourth time, she double-feinted, the block disappearing as soon as he started reacting to the grapple, and the halted punch suddenly struck forward into a weaker but still stinging attack against his breastbone, knocking him back a step. Tracy immediately followed up with a quick series of blows, but Grandmaster Lee had already recovered his balance enough to guide them away with the backs of his hands. Before he could recover any further, Tracy fell back and took up her ready stance again.

Suddenly, Grandmaster Lee was on top of her, his fists and feet coming in a quick series of attacks. Tracy had all she could do just turning them away, her limbs often reacting before she had even realized the attack was coming. She barely had time to concoct a plan before one foot hooked behind the other, and she tripped over herself, falling backwards. Grandmaster Lee pressed his advantage, which she had hoped he would, and her legs untangled themselves instantly to hook around his ankle as she rolled to the side, one hand finding his elbow as he fell. She almost had him, but then he twisted just before she set the hold and was away, both of them rolling to their feet in a ready stance once again.

Once they had gotten into the flow of attack and defense, Tracy was much more comfortable. These spars were her favorite part of Aikido, like dancing with a partner. She only really enjoyed it with Grandmaster Lee, because she knew he was so good she didn't have to worry about hurting him. Heck, until a few months ago she never had gotten him in a hold even once, but that was when she had started practicing turning one attack into another mid-stance.

She hadn't gotten him the first time, but he had been surprised and given her a rare compliment. She hadn't gotten him the second time, or the third time, either. She had started out not catching him more than one time in a thousand, and now she could catch him perhaps one time out of a hundred. Today, she was in the zone - she couldn't say what it was, but everything just fell into place, everything was balanced, and it wasn't long before she found herself sitting on top of him, his leg twisted painfully, and his hand slapping a surrender against the mat. She'd only had to suffer a dozen pins before she had gotten him.

It was a shock when the voice intruded on their match, because she had long since forgotten that she was being tested. She'd been so focused on the challenge, of putting everything she had into that one goal. She leaped to her feet, as did Grandmaster Lee, and they turned to the other five Grandmasters.

“What is this?” snapped Grandmaster Yoshida. “You've been teaching her dan techniques before she has taken the test?”

Grandmaster Lee straightened up stiffly. “I have not!” he retorted, his teeth gritted. “I have taught her no more than any other kyu ready for the dan.”

With a snort of derision and a look of contempt at Tracy, Grandmaster Yoshida replied, “I suppose you teach all your kyu how to attack in combination, then?” The sarcasm lay heavy on his voice.