On the Rocks (Pub Fiction Book 2) (34 page)
“Well, Mommy, it looks like your little one is feeling a bit stressed out in there. I’m going to monitor both your and the baby’s blood pressure,” the nurse says as she wraps a circular cuff around Braun’s belly.
“Oh, God, is he okay?” Braun asks, crying harder. I grab her hand, attempting to calm her—and myself.
“Yes, please don’t worry too much. We need you to relax and keep yourself calm, okay, Mom? Dad, I’m going to need you to help here. So no more angry man faces to my staff. We’re doing all that needs to be done.” She pats my arm before returning to Braun. “I’m also going to give you painkillers to help take the edge off.”
“No, no medication. I’m fine. Other than a headache I’m not feeling too much pain. The epidural is enough. I don’t want to give the baby any unnecessary drugs,” Braun counters.
“I promise these are safe. I think you might want them, especially if we need to push soon.”
Braun continues to refuse them, before finally relenting about fifteen minutes later.
“You hanging in there okay, baby?” I ask, once the room clears out. I’m leaning over from my chair, stroking Braun’s hair as she lays on her side cradling her swollen belly.
It’s insane how the atmosphere in the room seemed to change in an instant; we went from bored and frustrated to scared and desperate. I felt panic like I’ve never known rolling over me in waves as I stood watching the commotion. Seeing my favourite person in the world lying on her side clutching her belly makes my heart hurt. I sit in silence now, listening to Braun as she gives our unborn baby a pep talk.
“Hey, there, little one. Everything is okay now. It seems we’ve both calmed down. You know it’s a lot more fun out here than in there,” Braun says, rubbing her belly with her small hand. “Daddy and I are excited to meet you. It’s time to come see us.”
Sitting here listening to Braun talk to our baby nearly guts me. I hate not being able to help. Instead, I pull a chair as tight as I can to her bedside and my hand joins her hand in its motion as she begins quietly singing the words to “This Little Light of Mine.” I watch my brave girl and tears line my face.
What the fuck did I do to deserve this in my life? This woman is incredible and I’m such an underserving schmo.
After what feels like forever, Dr. Ramirez returns to examine Braun.
“Okay, everything is looking good here now. I think your ready. Feel like pushing?” Braun turns, looking for me. She smiles that fucking smile I love so much.
That’s my girl.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“Me too. Always.” I kiss her forehead waiting for the doctor’s instructions.
And, forty-five minutes later, I know what it feels like to be a rich man.
Sitting beside Braun, I can’t seem to wipe the grin off my face as we both stare into the eyes of our beautiful baby boy. I never expected to feel the array of emotions that I do right now as I hold my son—Parker Dash Eddison—swaddled in his little blue blanket.
We named him “Parker” after Shawn’s last name, because we both agreed it felt right.
I will always be grateful for the life I have been given. Meeting my Scrappy and Scooby was the best thing that I could have imagined. Naming the baby Parker is just a small tribute to a man who will always be remembered by the Eddison family.
“I want another one, Scrappy. How long do we have to wait?” I ask, adding the grin I know makes her say “yes” and want to do bad and dirty things with me.
“You’re lucky I love you, Levi,” she says, before she nuzzles Parker’s face telling him what a crazy but adorably funny man his daddy is.
The End
• According to the World Health Organization (WHO), someone around the globe commits suicide every 40 seconds. In the year 2000, 815,000 people lost their lives to suicide—more than double the number of people who die as a direct result of armed conflict every year (306,600). For people between the ages of 15 and 44, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death and the sixth leading cause of disability and infirmity worldwide.
• Men commit suicide at a rate four times higher than that of women.
• In Canada, suicide accounts for 24 percent of all deaths among 15-24 year olds and 16 percent among 16-44 year olds. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for Canadians between the ages of 10 and 24.
• Research shows that mental illness is the most important risk factor for suicide; and that more than 90% of people who commit suicide have a mental or addictive disorder. Depression is the most common illness among those who die from suicide, with approximately 60% suffering from this condition. Single determinant, including mental illness, is enough on its own to cause a suicide. Rather, suicide typically results from the interaction of many factors, for example: mental illness, marital breakdown, financial hardship, deteriorating physical health, a major loss, or a lack of social support.
• Statistics Canada reports that suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death in Canada.
• In 2013 (the most recent year for which full data are available), 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans. In that year, someone in the country died by suicide every 12.8 minute.
• Suicide is the 10
th
leading cause of death in the US.
Suicide Statistics – Canadian Mental Health Association, Toronto Branch. (n.d.). Retrieved November 22, 2015, from
http://toronto.cmha.ca/mental_health/suicide-statistics/#.VlFK59D0jds
Health at a Glance. (n.d.). Retrieved November 22, 2015, from
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-624-x/2012001/article/11696-eng.htm
Facts and Figures. (n.d.). Retrieved November 22, 2015, from
https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures
If urgent, dial 911 and seek help from a mental health professional.
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
or
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)
or
Text Telephone:
1-800-799-4TTY
(1-800-799-4889)
Military Veterans
Suicide Hotline:
1-800-273-TALK
(Press 1)
LGBT Youth
Suicide Hotline:
1-866-4-U-TREVOR
Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
Find help in your area here:
www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
Dear Reader,
Mental illness is a growing concern in our world today. “On the Rocks” is about surviving the aftermath of suicide, and believing in love again. Levi and Braunwyn’s love story is inspired by events that impacted the lives of people I care about deeply. With all of the research and ongoing concerns with mental health, I’ve decided to try to do something to bring awareness and light to this issue. I will be donating 10% of all pre-order and release week profits to the Canadian Mental Health Association.
You can visit them here, –>
http://bit.ly/1LkT3kh
to learn more about mental illness and its impact or to donate.
Thank you for helping support this important cause.
Gillian
Xx
Alissa – Twinnie!! What can I say? I adore you and appreciate our friendship so very much. Thank you for giving me feedback and encouragement always. I’m so blessed to call you my friend. I love our book talks and always look forward to our quotes, book banter. I couldn’t imagine doing this without having you in my corner. xox
Amanda – Lobby, I don’t even have the right words for you. You are a force– one hell of a resilient and brilliant woman, I love the shit out of you! Thank you for supporting me and always being willing to listen to my brand of crazy. You just…gah, I love you, I can’t even find all the words. I hope love B and L.
C.a. – Dude! I could not have done this without you!! Your feedback and the way you pushed me was beyond infuriating at times but I feel it was worth it all! I am indebted to you, my friend. xox
Cassia – Thank you! Thank you for being my friend, my supporter and best of all my partner-in-crime. I love you and all you do! Thank you for helping me make my words better. I am so lucky to have you in my life. xx
Dad – Thank you for always being so proud and supporting. There aren’t many people whose dads share their daughters’ smutty teasers on their Facebook pages! xox
Deanna – Simply put, I adore you! Thank you for the support and always being willing to read and be the grammar guru I need. xx
Jen (ESM) – I don’t even have words without tears for you. I can’t describe what taking this journey with you was like…you inspire me to want to be the best I can be. You push me to get the right words to the surface. Best of all, you accept when I’m a horrible speller and the worst grammar-figureoutter in the world. You saved me with this book and I will forever cherish writing this with you!
Jeneane – JJ, thank you for again being an amazing beta reader and giving me perfect feedback.
Karl – I don’t know what to say to you. I sit here and try to put into words how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband. I promise I will be a wife and a mom again soon…and for a little bit. Thank you for letting me do this crazy thing that stresses me out and makes you mom and dad to Max. I love you both with my entire being. I could never have done this without you.
Kymmie – Oh, my anchor. The one who makes me calm me and keeps me from floating away into the abyss of crazy. Thank you for reading, listening and being my Kymmie. I love you! I could not do this without you giving a good smack once in a while. xox
Mom – I cannot thank you enough for always being there. Helping me with my words and my family when I need. I could not have done this without you. You always know what to say to make things better.
Laurie – My lovely, you are such a huge part of this book. Thank you for listening to me, helping me plot, for reading, and just being an amazing friend while I haven’t been the greatest. I really feel Levi, Braun and Emme are yours too. xox
Lia – You are amazing! I cannot tell you enough how brilliant you are. Thank you for reading, giving me feedback, then of course, reading again and again! I love you hard.
Radha – You inspire me to write, and to keep doing it. You pimper of the blurb. And of course, my little brownie!
River – You inspire, encourage and support hard. I’m so very blessed that you’ve come into my life. I love your words, your advice, and really, I just love you. I’m honoured to be your friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
River, Cassia and Alissa – Thank you for our daily group chats, your friendship and the laughs. I really couldn’t imagine not having the three of you in my life.
Love yas, you whores! #YOLO #YouGuysAreTheBest
Toni – Oh hell, woman, you are incredible! You are so special and deserve nothing but happiness and love. I cherish our friendship and could not do this without you. You are brilliant, and a little pimping whore machine! I am always here for you. Xox
Gilly’s Gems – I love you guys!!!!! Thank you so much for making our little place a special one. I appreciate you all and honestly you will never know how grateful I am that you support and encourage me. I love hanging out and chatting and I hope you meet you all someday!!! Xox
Thank you to all the amazing bloggers for all you do. I could not do this without your support. You’ve helped to make this adventure even better.
Thank you to Give Me Books. You ladies are amazing!
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