On the Many Deaths of Amanda Palmer (3 page)

For further reading the keen student of Doxithanotology should consider Emily Watkinson's
When Death Became Art
, Sir James Melton's
On the Difference Between Death and Art,
and Hilary Jameson-Bowen's epic though inelegantly titled
How, in the Late 20th Century, We Came to Believe that the Destruction of Imagination was the Legitimate Destination of Western Art's Journey from the Renaissance to the Present Day: Discussed.

There is, in addition, one last and highly controversial theory that, despite considerable reservations amongst the majority of experts in the field, must nonetheless be mentioned in the interest of balance. This is the
Wild Card Proposition
. Originally posited by the once eminent, though now sadly disgraced, German mathematician Leopold Adler, this theory relates to an unexpected idiosyncrasy in the multiple equations used to calculate le Grenier's martyrdom quotient. It had been noticed by many statisticians that where the MQ equals the square-root of a prime number certain subsequent calculations generate confused and inconsistent results. This was initially considered nothing more than a glitch in
the system, and was largely irrelevant as in practice an MQ can only be calculated to three decimal places (due to an inevitable lack of pertinent data), thus making the identifying of such cases impossible as most prime number square roots of relevant magnitudes demand at least six decimal places. Adler argued in his paper
Social Manifestations of the Prime-Root MQ
that far from being a glitch, such results indicate a dramatic and unpredictable impact upon society. He cites a number of possible but improvable examples: Jesus comes up with a calculable MQ of 26.476, however, if this could be more accurately calculated we might find the true MQ to be 26.47640459 . . . which is the square root of the prime 701, thus statistically demonstrating a considerable propensity for social impact; likewise, Sir Thomas More comes in at 19.925, which might equate to the square root of 397; Vincent Van Gogh at 16.643 (√277?) and Elvis Presley at 17.117 (√293?). This argument may seem compelling but it must be borne in mind that he only lists those whom history retrospectively considers arbiters of great social change. By application of the same calculations it could be suggested that Isadora Duncan (a dancer whose trademark scarf became caught in the wheels of a car), or Linda Cleary (a 1940s puppeteer who was accidentally garrotted on stage by one of her puppets during the performance of an adaptation of Lear's
The Quangle Wangle's Hat
) were equally
wild cards
, with all that that implies. In the opinion of the author the
Wild Card Proposition
is nothing more than hopeful speculation on the part of a mathematician desperate to restore his reputation, and should therefore be soundly dismissed as such. However, given the subject of this particular collection of texts it should be noted that Amanda Palmer's MQ has been calculated at 16.217, which may be equal to the square root of prime number 263. Were the
Wild Card Proposition
to be demonstrably true, and were Amanda Palmer's MQ to actually equate with √263 we would expect to start seeing the first stirrings of social or artistic change purporting to be in her name or her spirit over the next decade or so. In the past such early stirrings have usually expressed themselves through
the growth of cults, new churches and radical artistic movements, however in today's more superficial and materialist culture, and particularly given the current unprecedented speed of global communications, it will be very interesting to see what, if any, form such early expressions take. Indeed it has been suggested by some that the internet-based literary genre of the
palmeresque
is just such an early stirring. Time will tell, however the author of this essay remains sceptical; there should, after all, be no room for “woolly thinking” in the precise science of statistics.

By Dr. Kyla Dufford

The death of Amanda Palmer on May 13th 2002 passed largely unnoticed by the wider world, initially at least. Certainly there were the usual obituaries in local newspapers, and a few more substantial considerations of her legacy in the international music press, but, given the size and loyalty of her audience, the lack of larger scale media coverage was perhaps a little surprising. This was no doubt due in part to the unfortunate timing: the announcement of her death fell on the same day that a certain female “celebrity” chose to reveal her omission of underwear to photographers whilst exiting a car, thus occupying a great many of the column inches reserved for popular culture commentaries. This lack of press coverage was in addition most likely aggravated by the confusion and uncertainty surrounding the circumstances of her death.

It is known that her body was never found, and the refusal of the police to reveal any further details with regard to the nature of their investigation, combined with the closed inquest, and the coroner's verdict of “unlawful killing” has, over the past few years, inevitably led to all kinds of wild, and in some cases, fantastical speculations. As might be expected under the circumstances, conspiracy theories have abounded. A brief internet search will reveal many blogs and chat-rooms dedicated solely to the discussion of
Who Killed Amanda Palmer?
Most are mundane and involve the US Government attempting to stifle the
Punk-Cabaret
movement due to its dedication to freedom of expression amongst young middle class intellectuals who might otherwise prove useful and productive members of society. However some have proven to be less
expected. For example one website (
www.wornoutdivas.com
) has an extensive blog discussing the proposition that a number of female performers of the previous generation (Madonna, Deborah Harry, Suzi Quatro, Cher, and Linda Ronstadt are all mentioned) may have kidnapped Miss Palmer with the intention of forcibly inducing her to write new “younger” material in an attempt to resurrect their careers.

One of the more interesting conspiracy theories was initially proposed on
www.sinnedagainst.tv
, and later taken up by many other blogsites. It suggests that Miss Palmer may have been murdered for her ovaries by PAPS (the People's Army Protesting through Song), an organisation dedicated by its own admission to the “creation of a master-race of musicians with the intention of destroying all forms of government and instead uniting the world through the art of song-writing”. Deluded as this may sound, it has been alleged that PAPS are responsible for the murders of many female singers around the world, and the subsequent theft of their ovaries, among them the up and coming R&B star LaLa Brown and the Lebanese singer Suzanne Tamim. This rumour gained enough credence for PAPS to release an official statement of denial, although they did admit the illicit aquisition of samples of semen taken from numerous male singer-songwriters through the deceptive misuse of “groupies”. In a now notorious 2006 court case brought against them by three un-named male singers PAPS claimed their intention was that of isolating the song-writing gene for future generations. This case was eventually thrown out of court on the grounds that the semen was effectively “given freely in payment for services rendered”. None of the girls involved were identified and it is thought that the practice continues. There have of course been, in addition, numerous further theories involving alien abduction, genetic experimentation, time travel, consumption by sasquatch, and others too far-fetched to be worthy of mention.

Given the mysterious circumstances surrounding Miss Palmer's death, it is really neither surprising nor of any great doxithanotological
interest that such conspiracy theories have been developed. Indeed, it is only to be expected after the death of a social icon, even when all the details are well known and frankly mundane, and however small their following may be. What has proven to be of much greater interest is the entirely unexpected literary phenomenon that has evolved amongst bloggers following her untimely demise, that being a particular and imaginative form of eulogy that has come to be called the
Palmeresque
. It is not known when this started, nor by whom, as, unfortunately, the web does not leave a paper trail in the conventional sense, thus making the job of the literary historian considerably more difficult. Pages can easily be moved, taken down, copied, and edited, all instantaneously with no accessible way of tracing their history. This does however bring with it certain advantages as once content is put up it frequently finds its way onto innumerable different sites and search engines within days, thus making the sourcing of content itself far easier than was ever the case in the days of pamphlets and newspapers. It is indeed this embracing of the internet, and its influence upon the means and execution of the Palmeresque that sets it apart from other eulogic forms. Whereas today it is common for memorialisations of various types to be expressed through sculpture, the visual arts or music (particularly song), the written memorial has become increasingly rare, and where it does exist it is usually biographical or drunk with praise. The Palmeresque is a different form entirely. Existing exclusively in the unreal and anonymous world of the internet it has embraced this spirit of freedom by casting its sights towards fiction and imagination.

In the last year there have been many interpretations of this effect, both published and unpublished, and much heated debate has been had amongst psychologists, sociologists and literary historians. Conceptual anthropologist Ashley Weldon proposed, in her fascinating paper
The Many-Staged Makings of the Mythological,
that we are seeing in the Palmeresque stage one of an ageold potentially five stage process in which an icon or social
figurehead is changed from a human, with all the necessary incumbent weaknesses, to a hero, then a prophet, a messiah and finally in the fifth stage, a god. Of course the last few stages of this process are rarely if ever achieved in the contemporary Western world, (that claim is not made), but the parallel between the Palmeresque and the far-fetched and magical tales that would often spring up after the death of a famous knight or prince in days gone by is indeed worthy of note.

Most pertinent to this publication however is an article by Tabatha Buescher that first appeared in
Sociology Today
and was later developed in the collection
The Socio-Iconic Process: Essays and Introductions
edited by Dr. Cody Ehrman. Buescher turns her analytical eye towards the authors of Palmeresques to consider the motivations that influenced the development of the form:

. . . To understand why memorialisation takes on any particular form we must first consider not the object, nor the subject, but the needs, requirements and means of those who are effectively the authors of the work. The most common purveyor of memorialisation, that being the State, whose requirement is to demonstrate the perpetual continuity of power and authority, and whose memorials are usually authored by committee, creates bold statements in stone, in the form of statues, buildings and institutions. This is to emphasize permanence, solidity, and a scope greater than that which any individual could muster. The hero may be dead, but their power lives on within the State itself. It is not at all uncommon for such State-financed public memorials to involve the wholesale seizure of iconic figures whose raison d'être was to stand against the very values that they are then used to perpetuate. Probably the most extreme example of this phenomenon in modern times was the ill-considered and short-lived decision to place a statue of John Simon Ritchie (aka Sid Vicious) upon the empty fourth plinth at London's Trafalgar Square. Viewed by many as a cynical attempt by the Mayor of London's office to engage the youth by
honouring its heroes (ironically at least one generation too late), this statue was removed by public demand only three weeks into its intended six month exhibition...

. . . Among the more interesting non-determined memorial forms to have evolved in recent years are the many writings that began to be distributed over the internet following the death of Amanda Palmer. A popular entertainer of some small note, she had over five years developed an unusually artistic and literate audience due to her flamboyant and somewhat seedy Berlin Cabaret-styled image, and the sophisticated
don't give a damn
attitude expressed through her lyrics. After her premature death, (the mysterious nature of which served only to add considerably to her previously acquired mystique), stories, poems and stream-of-consciousness writings began to appear, first in blogs and chat-rooms, then in other forms of internet-based viral distribution formats such as auto-forwarded emails and Facebook applications etc. . . . These have come to be known as “Palmeresques”. Despite covering a wide range of styles and techniques, what all these writings share is a presentation of the continuation of Amanda Palmer: occasionally through her physical survival of Death, but more often through her emotional or spiritual survival, in one form or another. This is in many ways a literal literary representation of the denial of death in what is generally a young and self-consciously artistic demographic, and as such presents many useful insights into the evolving relationship between society, mortality and the Arts . . .

. . . Let us only hope that the Governor of Massachusetts doesn't bow to current pressure to put up a statue of Palmer outside Boston town hall as has been suggested by certain more cynical members of his legislature...

As stated in the above extract, there are a number of specific qualities that distinguish a Palmeresque from a traditional eulogy. The OED defines a eulogy as “a speech or writing in commendation
of the qualities, etc., of a person or thing”. The Palmeresque steers clear of praise, focussing instead upon more imaginative responses to Miss Palmer's death. Where a eulogy explicitly looks back over the life of the deceased, the Palmeresque looks forward from the point of death to contemplate either the nature, or further ramifications of her demise. Among the more frequently employed forms are short stories and poems, although letters and stream-of-consciousness explorations are not uncommon. Many seem to be fragmentary, although this could in part be due to the nature of the internet as a medium: any piece of writing of substantial length is inevitably split between online pages and hence when they are copied from one site to another it is not uncommon for parts to go missing, and pages sometimes get deleted leaving only the opening portions available – although in some cases it is impossible to tell whether or not the original may have only been a fragment itself, as is suspected in many examples. One thing that they all share is anonymity. This is particularly interesting as the traditional eulogy, in the popular form of the 17th century, was as much about emphasising a connection between the author and the deceased, thus to bathe in reflected glory, as it was about praise for the dead.