On The Imperium’s Secret Service (Imperium Cicernus) (8 page)

“Shoot them our IFF and request an orbital slot,” Mariko said.  Each planet had its own set of regulations about what they could and could not do in orbit.  Some of them even tried to ban non-local shuttles from operating in their airspace, citing safety concerns.  Mariko privately suspected that it had more to do with a determination to take every last credit from the visitors that they could.  “And then download the local traffic regulations for us to study.”

“I shouldn't worry about them,” Fitz said, from the hatch.  He’d changed into a safari outfit, complete with hat and gun slung over his shoulder.  “They generally allow everyone to use their shuttles as long as they keep OTC updated.”

“We should check it anyway,” Mariko said.  Fitz could go through life ignoring rules, but little mortals such as herself needed to obey the law.  A black mark on her pilot’s licence would make it harder for her to get a job in future.  “They might have changed the rules since you were last here.”

“Picking up a signal,” Mai said.  “It’s addressed to Lord Fitzgerald.”

“Put it through,” Fitz ordered.  An image of a large woman, wearing so many jewels that Mariko couldn't understand how she could walk upright, appeared in front of them.  “Lady Mary.  Such a pleasure to see you again.”

Lady Mary smiled with what seemed to be genuine warmth.  “Fitz,” she said.  “It has been
such
a long time since you honoured my planet with your presence.  My gamekeepers have already started driving the animals towards the hunting grounds for your entertainment.”

“That’s good to hear,” Fitz said, “but I also hoped to do some hunting as well as shooting.”

Lady Mary laughed, a spine-chilling sound.  “You always were a funny one,” she said.  “I’m afraid that some areas have been marked as unsafe, but the rest of the planet is open to you – for a small consideration, naturally.”

“Naturally,” Fitz echoed.  “We’ll be down on the planet soon enough.  I look forward to meeting you again.”

Lady Mary’s image vanished from the display.  “She was sent out here as punishment for some misdeed,” Fitz said, answering the question before Mariko had a chance to ask.  “I don’t know the details – I don’t know anyone who does.  But she’s turned Tuff into a roaring success.  All of the hunting set come here for the season and go away chattering about her hospitality.”

Mariko frowned.  They’d spent four days practicing hunting and shooting in the holochamber and she’d decided that she didn't like it very much.  She’d died so many times in the simulator that she rather suspected that she wouldn't last a day on the planet, where the local animals were tough and fond of eating humans.  The statistics suggested that there were at least four deaths every season, all through some hunter underestimating the animal that he was hunting.  And yet the hunting fraternity continued to flock to Tuff.

Harvard Tuff was one of the few names that almost everyone in the Imperium knew.  He’d been a planetary engineer during the days of Emperor Montgomery, who had founded the modern Imperium five thousand years ago.  Tuff had turned thousands of lifeless worlds into living space for humans, but his real dream had been to create something unique.  Eventually, he’d found Tuff and started to reengineer the planet’s biosphere.  It was now a rapidly shifting jungle that seemed to have taken on a life of its own.

He’d also created new species to inhabit his masterwork.  Some of them had been drawn from Homeworld and remained largely familiar, others had been radically modified or simply created from various different animal species' DNA spliced together in a test tube and force-grown in a cloning vat.  He’d crossed the line when he’d started splicing in human DNA to give the new creatures a form of intelligence, enough to convince a reluctant Emperor to order his arrest and incarceration.  By then, it had been too late.  Planet Tuff had become a nightmare of competing animals struggling for dominance.  Naturally, the aristocracy had turned it into a safari park for themselves.  The thrill of hunting near-intelligent creatures simply couldn't be beaten.

“We’re taking up standard orbit now,” Mariko said, pulling her attention back to the console.  “Do you want to take one of our shuttles?”

“We might as well,” Fitz said.  He seemed oddly unconcerned by the whole affair, even though he’d been the one rhapsodizing about the wonders of hunting trips.  “Make sure you download a weather report and a safe zones map from OTC.  There are some places on this planet we really
don’t
want to crash.”

Mariko nodded.  “I’ll see to it,” she said.  “We’ll pack the shuttle first.”

“Bring something you can wear to a formal ball,” Fitz said.  “There’s always one held on the first night.  It’s very tedious for those of us who like to escape High Society, but it is the only way for Mary to catch up on news from home.”

He shrugged and headed towards the hatch.  “I’ll pack my own bag,” he added.  “Just make sure that you stow all of the hunting rifles onto the shuttle.  And plenty of ammunition.”

***

Tuff hadn't contented himself with fiddling with the planet’s plant and animal life, Mariko realised an hour later.  He’d also messed around with the planet’s weather – and done so in a way that was almost impossible to fix, even several thousand years later.  The weather could change with alarming speed, moving from brilliant sunshine to rainstorms and even snow crashing out of the sky.  Strong winds blew up out of nowhere and threatened to slam the shuttle into the mountains or down into the ground.  There were even a handful of volcanoes belching smoke as the shuttle flew overhead, preparing for another eruption.  Tuff had to have been out of his mind...

...Unless, of course, he’d actually
intended
to create an unstable world.  There were theorists who believed that an unstable world had been the key to humanity’s development and expansion into space.  Mariko had no idea if that was actually true, if only because there was very little information on what had happened to humanity before the Imperium, but it certainly sounded plausible.  Tuff might have hoped that one of his creations would eventually grow into true intelligence, breaking the laws on uplifting unintelligent life forms or creating new forms of intelligent life. 

Or maybe he’d just been completely insane.

The jungle below seemed impassable, until they finally sighted Lady Mary’s lodge and the spaceport beside it.  It was a massive complex, walled and heavily guarded, almost as if they expected someone to try to break into the complex at any time.  Mariko checked the beacon from the spaceport, overrode the automatic systems that tried to take control of the descent and handled the landing herself.  The sudden and violent changes in the local environment were just too unpredictable to trust an automated system to handle.

Not all of the buildings were behind the walls, she noted as they came in to land.  A number of small houses were outside the walls, guarded by their own handpicked guards and presumably invisible force fields to keep out unwanted guests.  The documents she'd downloaded from OTC suggested that the worst nightmare on the planet was the insects, including some that seemed to be little more than flying piranhas.  They had been advised to wear repelling bracelets at all times, even if they were genetically modified to be unattractive to hunting insects.  Some of the insects on Tuff were supposed to be worse than the flying nightmares on Beowulf.

The shuttle touched down neatly on the hard surface.  Immediately, a team of workers came forward to unload the bags.  Fitz met them at the hatch, handed out a generous tip and ordered them to carry the bags to one of the outside cabins.  The workers set off at once, while Fitz checked a pair of handheld pistols and passed them to the girls.  Mariko blinked in surprise at how casually he was arming them, before spotting the sign at the edge of the tiny spaceport.  WARNING!  DANGEROUS CRITTERS!  REMAIN ARMED AT ALL TIMES.

Mai looked over at Fitz and frowned.  “Do the animals sometimes get inside?”

“They’ve been known to,” Fitz said. “Better to have the gun and not need than to not have it and need it.”

They scrambled out of the shuttle and closed the hatch behind them.  Fitz had given them both the combination to unlock the shuttle if necessary, after paying what seemed an exorbitant price to keep the shuttle on the ground.  Apparently, most of the passenger liners left their shuttles in orbit and waited for a call before returning to pick up the tourists. 

The heat struck them as soon as they emerged from under the force field protecting the spaceport.  Tuff was
hot
, hotter than any other world she’d experienced, hot enough to leave sweat trickling down her back.  The workers, who seemed to be better paid than typical Indents, wore shorts and shirts.  Some of the women didn't even seem to wear bras, leaving their shirts clinging to their bodies.  It might have been deliberate, Mariko realised; they could attract a sugar daddy and take as much of his money as they could.  Fitz didn’t seem to be impressed, but she was starting to see that he wasn't often impressed by anything.  There were depths to him that were very well hidden.

They passed through a security check and into the main complex, looking down at a swimming pool crammed with visitors.  Some of them were swimming naked, showing off their bodies to all and sundry; others were merely tanning themselves on the edge of the pool.  One of the girls, Mariko saw, was actually an aristocrat, with features that were easy enough to identify.  The Apteryx Clan was famous for their noses, which they had engineered into their family’s dominant genes.  Perhaps she was relaxing while her father hunted wild game.

A number of younger children were clustered around an arcade, supervised by older children who were clearly resentful, even if they were being paid for it.  Some of their toys made Mariko flush with envy; she’d never seen anyone fly in a tiny aeroplane until she’d come to Tuff.  She would have
loved
such a toy as a child, but she didn't know if they were on sale anywhere – and if they were, they would be hideously expensive.  A handful of children even had bio-engineered gills, allowing them to swim underwater indefinitely, something that she’d only seen before with people engineered to live on water worlds.  Body-altering wasn't something to be used lightly, and yet these people did...

“The very rich,” she muttered, “are different.”

“Yes,” Fitz agreed.  Mariko hadn't even realised that he could hear her.  “They have more money.”

The centre of the complex was a towering mansion, built in a style that matched the holiday homes on Homeworld.  Fitz led them inside, nodding politely to a handful of people he knew, and walked into a room that seemed to be a combination between an office and a social chamber.  Lady Mary – bigger in real life than she had been on the ship’s display – rose up to greet them, holding out her arms for a hug.  Fitz hugged her politely before removing his hat and gracing the other visitors with a low bow. 

Mariko remembered her manners and curtseyed hastily.  God knew how the aristocrats would react to any hint of disrespect.  Mai followed her a moment later.

“Welcome to my home once again,” Lady Mary cooed.  “You must tell me everything about your travels.”  She waved a hand imperiously, and half of her audience stood up and left the room.  “The last I heard, you were going to Sumter,” she added, with a gentle reproof.  “Did you find it so interesting that you could not send me a postcard?”

“Sumter has only one thing of great interest, and I don't think they sell postcards of it,” Fitz said, which provoked a series of high-pitched giggles from Lady Mary’s cronies.  “But I did visit Tyler’s Folly, Henderson’s World and Dorado.  Tyler’s Folly is well worth a visit, even if the sky might come crashing down on their heads one day.”

“And who are your friends?”  Lady Mary asked, changing the subject with astonishing speed.  “What happened to Doug?  I liked Doug.”

“Doug retired five years ago,” Fitz said, patiently.  He nodded to Mariko and Mai.  “These are my new retainers.  I picked them up on Dorado and saved them from a little trouble.”

“Always out to save people, eh?”  Lady Mary said, with another giggle. 

Mariko wasn't sure what to make of her.  She seemed stupid, yet there was something about her that suggested that she was brighter than she seemed.  But then, if she’d been exiled from Homeworld, she had to have done something truly awful.  The aristocracy forgave everything, up to and including incest. 

But the Lady had gone on: “I trust that they are...suitable retainers?”