On the Dog (4 page)

“What?”
Judy yelled.

“Don’t worry,” said Andrew. “Thudd, what time did I turn on the Atom Sucker?”

meep …
“12:01,” said Thudd.

“So all we have to do is set it to
UN-SHRINK
before 8:01,” Andrew said.

meep …
“Now 12:31,” said Thudd. “Only 7 hours, 30 minutes left.”

“Cheese Louise!” said Judy. “We’d better come up with a plan!”

meep …
“Purple button!” said Thudd, pointing to the middle of his chest.

“A purple button is
not
a plan,” said Judy.

meep …
“Purple button send signal to Uncle Al,” said Thudd.

“I think Uncle Al is setting up a telescope to look into space,” said Andrew. “I sure hope he can get our signal.”

Thudd pressed his purple button. It blinked three times.

“How will we know if the signal reaches Uncle Al?” asked Judy.

meep …
“Not know,” said Thudd. “Purple button never pressed before.”

“Well, we’d better not sit around waiting for Uncle Al to come get us,” said Judy. “We need to get off the dog, across the field, and onto the Atom Sucker.”

Judy got up and looked around. “I don’t see the helicopter,” she said.

“It got shrunk right after you did,” said Andrew.

Judy snapped her fingers. “That’s it! If
we can find the helicopter, I can fly it!”

“We all ended up on Harley,” said Andrew. “Maybe the helicopter is on Harley too!”

“Let’s hike to the top of Harley’s head,” said Judy. “Maybe we can spot the helicopter from up there.”

Andrew looked up. A long, furry slope led from the tip of Harley’s nose to the brown mountain of Harley’s head.

“Okay,” said Andrew. “It’s time to climb!”

Andrew took a step into the dog-hair forest.

“Oops!” Andrew yelped. His feet slid out from under him. “It’s slippery!”

Judy crouched down to look at the bottom of a dog hair.

“All the hairs are growing out of these big round pits in Harley’s skin,” said Judy. “They’re like trees growing in pots. And the pits are full of oil. Eew! I can really smell that doggie smell!”

meep …
“Hair pit called follicle,” said Thudd. “Follicle make oil. Oil protect skin and hair. No oil, skin crack. Hair break. But when oil get old, oil get stinky. Like bad milk. That why dog smell good after bath. Stinky oil get washed away.”

Judy pulled Andrew back to his feet. They started hiking up Harley’s nose. The dog hairs curved over them like the trunks of giant palm trees. Sunlight flickered down through the hairs to Harley’s skin.

Harley’s skin was covered with stuff that looked like torn-up tissue paper. Pieces floated into the air as Andrew and Judy shuffled along.

“What
is
this stuff?” Andrew asked.

meep …
“Skin flakes,” Thudd said. “Old skin peel off animals. Millions and millions of flakes every day. Drewd and Oody make skin flakes, too!”

“Maybe Andrew does,” said Judy. “But
I
don’t.”

meep …
“Dust mostly skin flakes,” said Thudd.

Judy laughed. “So those piles of dust in Andrew’s room are really piles of Andrew?”

“Yoop!” said Thudd. “Know what eat skin flakes?”

“A vacuum cleaner!” said Andrew.

meep …
“Dust mites!” said Thudd, pointing to a picture on his face screen. “Tiny bugs. Live in rugs. On sheets. On clothes. Dust mites love skin flakes like Drewd love pizza!”

Up ahead, Andrew saw a huge brown dome.

“It’s Harley’s eyelid!” said Andrew. “We’re halfway there.”

Harley’s skin was warm, and the hike past Harley’s eye was steep and slippery. When they got above the eye, Judy and Andrew stopped for a rest.

“It’s not far now,” said Andrew.

He leaned out to get another look at Harley’s eye.

“Wowzers!” said Andrew. “Harley’s eyeball is moving under his eyelid.”

Andrew wanted to get a better look, so he leaned out a little bit farther. But that was a little bit
too
far.

“Nooooo!”
Andrew screamed. He tumbled down Harley’s eyelid and crashed into one of his eyelashes.

“Are you okay?” Judy shouted down.

“I think so,” said Andrew. He tried to get to his feet. But he started sinking!

“Help!”
Andrew hollered.

meep …
“Deep eyelash follicle!” said Thudd.

Before Andrew could do anything, he was up to his waist in an oil pit!

“I’m coming!” Judy yelled.

Andrew pulled Thudd out of his pocket to keep him out of the oil. With his other hand, Andrew grabbed the edge of the follicle. But it was too slippery to get a grip.

Judy climbed down Harley’s eyelid and crawled to the edge of the follicle.

Andrew’s head was bobbing just above the oil!

“Yikes!”
Andrew cried. “There’s something slithering around in here! It feels like this pit is full of snakes!”

meep …
“Eyelash mites,” Thudd said. “Eyelash mites live upside down in follicle. Eat oil and skin flakes. Humans got eyelash mites, too. See!”

“I’ve got to get out of here before these mites think I’m a skin flake!” said Andrew.

Judy grabbed Andrew’s hand and tried to yank him out.

She groaned. “You sure are heavy,” she
said. “I can pull better if I stand up. Whoops!”

Judy slipped and tumbled into the follicle.

“Yikes!” she yelped. “I got pinched!”

meep …
“Eyelash mites got claws,” said Thudd. “Cousins of lobsters!”

“Do these stupid mites ever leave a follicle?” asked Judy.

“Yoop,” said Thudd. “When follicle too crowded, mites leave.”

“So let’s make this follicle feel like an overstuffed school bus!” said Judy. “If a mite tries to get out, we can hitch a ride.”

Judy and Andrew started shoving their prickly neighbors. The mites thrashed back.

“I think this mite is getting out!” said Andrew.

Andrew wrapped his arms around the slippery tail of the mite next to him. It squirmed tail-first toward the top of the follicle.

“Grab on to me, Judy!” said Andrew.

Judy caught hold of Andrew’s belt.

The eyelash mite gave another squirm and slithered out onto Harley’s eyelid. Judy and Andrew flopped off the mite. It wriggled over to another follicle.

“Woofers!” said Andrew. “That was awful!”

“That’s the first time you’ve been right today” said Judy.

Judy and Andrew picked up some soft skin flakes and started wiping the oil off themselves.

Thudd grabbed on to Andrew’s shirt and pinched his way back into Andrew’s shirt pocket.

“Ah … ah …
ah-choof!”
Judy sneezed. “It’s my dog allergy.”

meep …
“Bless oo!” said Thudd. “Oody not lergic to whole dog. Oody lergic to skin flakes and these.”

Thudd pointed to the scales on the hairs. Some of them had cracked off. Hair scales
were floating into the air with the skin flakes.

Judy looked up at Harley’s head.

“I’ve got an idea,” she said. “This time, let’s do what mountain climbers do.”

Judy took off her belt and threaded it through one of the loops on her jeans. Andrew looped his belt the same way. Then Judy buckled the ends of the two belts together.

“Now if one of us starts to fall, the other one can help,” said Judy.

It was a hard climb from Harley’s eye to the top of his head. Andrew and Judy had to pull themselves up hair by hair.

They were almost there when something crashed nearby.

Wham!

The forest of dog hairs rustled. Something big was coming!