On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) (2 page)

Chapter 2

Ava

Yawning widely, Ava rubbed her temples. Her eyes were hanging out of her head and her whole body ached. She needed sleep. Desperately. What’s worse she had no one to blame but herself. And maybe Tyler. He was too damn irresistible for his own good and that was the problem. Three nights this week she’d gone to his place instead of her own. Three nights she’d had to leave in the middle of the night and return to her own cold, lonely bed. Although it wasn’t a long drive between apartments, dragging herself from Tyler’s warmth, getting dressed, and making the trip home was taking its toll, both physically and mentally. Everything was suffering.

“Ava!” a deep voice called from above her.

She didn’t even see Matthew standing there and she couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d been watching her. Ava really was off with the fairies today. Stifling another yawn, she bit down on her fist. “Morning.”

“You sure?” Matthew taunted.

“Yep.”

“You busy today?”

“Probably. But since when’s that ever stopped you?” Ava asked her voice thick with sarcasm. This early morning banter was great. It was actually dragging her back into the world of the living.

“Good point! Grab your stuff and let’s go!” Matthew snorted, obviously pleased with himself.

He sauntered away leaving Ava scrambling to force her feet back into her shoes and catch up. “Wait,” Ava wailed as she threw her keys, glasses, and phone into her handbag and shrugged into her jacket. “Where we going?”

“Does it matter?”

“Guess not.”

“Well then, stop complaining and get in.” Matthew waved her into the awaiting elevator.

When they arrived in the basement, Matthew led her towards his car. Without a word or question, Ava fumbled into the passenger seat and fastened her belt before she attempted to finish dressing herself. After adjusting her collar and tugging her shirt, Ava was finally ready to face whatever Matthew was about to drop her in. Outwardly Ava appeared ready. Confident. Inwardly however, was another story. Inside, Ava’s stomach was turning over and the throbbing pain behind her eyes increased with every breath.

Part of Ava wished she didn’t know Matthew as well as she did. In her heart she knew he was about to subject her to something that would make her feel extremely uncomfortable. Matthew would never kidnap her without warning, unless Ava was going to freak herself out. And today, he’d blindsided her completely. She was beyond freaking out. Ava was in full blown panic mode. Needing the distraction, Ava grabbed her phone and checked her messages, instantly regretting her decision.

Tyler: Have a nice night’s sleep?

Every time she looked at it, it taunted her. It didn’t really give too much away but Ava was pretty sure he was pissed. Even though she’d been retreating to her own place after he’d fallen asleep, until now he’d remained silent. Ava wasn’t dumb enough to believe it would last, that he’d put up with it forever, but she’d hoped she had more time. It appeared as though her time had just run out.

For a few brief seconds, Ava concentrated on her breathing. In and out. In and out. It wasn’t helping. Between Matthew’s abduction and Tyler’s cryptic message, Ava’s mind was a scrambled mess, not to mention her stomach. Biting the bullet, Ava replied.

Ava: Not really.

She couldn’t think of anything more she could say. What was there to say? The truth was she hated leaving. Hated crawling out from the warmth of Tyler’s bed and going home. Hated the moment she reached the door and found herself turning around looking back at Tyler’s mouth-watering body as he slept. She hated the fact she was too chicken shit to stay when it was all she wanted to do.

Tyler: Maybe you should get a full night’s sleep tonight then?

The tears appeared from nowhere. Tyler was pissed. Beyond pissed. In all the time they‘d been together, Tyler had done everything in his power to avoid hurting her. Ava knew without a doubt he’d put out fires more than once to protect her. But now he was being mean on purpose. And what completely sunk her, she knew she deserved it.

Not knowing what to say, Ava locked her phone and tossed it back in her bag. If she shut it and didn’t look she could pretend it wasn’t a problem. If she didn’t see it, then it didn’t exist.

Matthew pulled into an underground car park and Ava was startled. She’d been so caught up with her own troubles, she had absolutely no idea what had been going on. She’d been so caught up in her own head that she hadn’t been paying attention to where they were headed. Smoothing her skirt and rubbing her clammy hands on her butt, she tried to make it appear casual and nonchalant.

As Matthew turned into a vacant spot and killed the ignition, Ava unclicked her seatbelt and spun in her seat to face him. “So, are you going to tell me what we’re doing? And where we are?”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes! And now!”

“We, well you, are about to present at today’s course.”

“What the fuck?” Ava snapped. “You can’t be serious.”

The crooked smile on Matthew’s face told Ava everything she needed to know. He wasn’t kidding. He was about to make her to stand in front of a room of people and talk. In that moment Ava wondered if she’d ever despised anyone more.

“You’ll be fine. Get out of the car, Ava.”

Ava seethed. If it was possible for steam to billow from her ears, then she was almost certain the fire brigade would have been already on their way. She wanted to scream and stamp her feet, but she wasn’t five. She wanted to throw up. More than anything she wanted Tyler to assure her she was okay. Convince her she could do this. Right now, Ava wasn’t sure that even he’d be able to give her the assurance she craved.

On wobbly legs, Ava stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her “I hate you!” Ava reminded him as Matthew moved around the car.

“I know. Come on anyway. You don’t want to keep your adoring fans waiting,” he taunted as he nudged her, knocking her off balance.

“You suck.”

As they hurried down the street, Ava’s emotions mixed together in an unrecognizable tangle. Guilt, frustration, and downright paralyzing fear. Reaching the office, Matthew held the door open and Ava stumbled through, unable to stop herself from flashing an annoyed grimace at him.

When they stepped onto the ugly blue carpeted reception area, what was left of Ava’s self-control fled. Her face paled and her stomach groaned. Loudly.

“You’ll be fine, Ava. Just take a deep breath.”

“Wh-what am I supposed to be talking about?”

Matthew’s mouth fell open but he didn’t get a chance to respond before the clacking of heels coming down the corridor stole their attention.

“Matthew! Ava! Right on time. They’re just about ready for you. Do you need anything? Water? Bathroom? Somewhere to lie down?” the bubbly blonde chirped. “Ready, Ava?”

“For what?” Ava choked out as she struggled for breath.

Over the years Ava had suffered from panic attacks but they were few and far between. Right now Ava wasn’t one hundred percent sure it would stay that way. She felt like she was standing on the edge of the cliff with one foot dangling over the edge. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears and feel her heart pounding beneath her breast. Black spots danced in her vision, and with each breath she took, it felt like it was being torn unwillingly from her body.

“Let’s just get it over with!” Ava huffed as she wished the negativity and fear away.

Three hours later Ava emerged feeling more than a little drained. Speaking in front of a room full of people was not her idea of fun. It was even worse when she knew every single set of eyes were locked on her. Thankfully she’d only been required to speak for forty-five minutes at the beginning before she could slip into her seat and observe. By the time she’d slunk into her chair she was beyond exhausted, barely able to summon the energy to participate in the heated debates that followed.

When she sunk into the passenger seat of Matthew’s car she knew she was absolutely wasted. No one would be getting anything from her for the rest of the day. Well, at least nothing of any substance.

“I’m going to take off for the day,” Ava told Matthew as they pulled back into the car park.

Matthew remained silent. There was nothing for him to say.

Ava dug through her bag and grabbed her keys. “See you Monday.”

Nodding, Matthew watched her wobble her way towards her car. Ava and high heels had never been a good combination and today was no exception. “Hey Ava! Did you forget that Monday’s a public holiday?”

Throwing her handbag carelessly onto the floor, Ava spun back a little too quickly, tipping her off balance. Her ankle went out from under her. With her arms flailing above her head, Ava fell back against her car with a thunk. “Shit!”

“You okay?” Matthew asked, unable to stifle his laughter.

“Fine,” Ava lied through gritted teeth. “See you next Tuesday then.”

With one final wave, Ava fell into her car and tore out of the car park like her underwear was on fire. “What a shitty day!”

Arriving home, Ava changed into her warmest, most comfortable pyjamas and snuggled down under the covers. She didn’t have the motivation to write and she was too exhausted to read. Today had been hard. Too hard. Ava wasn’t entirely sure she could handle another like it.

Craving sleep desperately, Ava forced herself to punch out a text to Tyler before she turned off her phone.

Ava: Had a crappy day. I’m going home to sleep. See you tomorrow?

Chapter 3

Tyler

Somehow Tyler had slept straight through. He’d missed the afternoon. He’d slept through dinner. By the time he woke on Saturday morning the sun had already assumed its position high in the sky. Finding his feet, Tyler stretched his long arms up high above his head and heard the bones croak and groan with each movement. Even his king size bed wasn’t big enough for him to stretch out like he wanted to.

After a shower and a banana protein shake, Tyler found himself on a treadmill racking up the kilometres. He didn’t know how long he’d been at it but when the sweat trickled down his forehead and blurred his vision, he knew it was time to stop. Last night as he’d slept the dream had turned over and over in his head. Tyler knew in his heart the conversation he needed to have. He knew the words that needed to be said. But knowing them and saying them couldn’t be any further apart.

On wobbly legs Tyler stepped from the treadmill and wiped it down robotically before heading back upstairs. Thankful it was his day off. Tyler showered quickly and fixed himself breakfast. A double helping of bacon, eggs, and grilled mushrooms all washed down with a glass of pineapple juice helped clear his foggy mind, but did nothing for his scratchy sore throat. Wincing as the juice went down, all he could do was hope he wasn’t getting sick. He didn’t have time for that.

Turning on his phone again, it lit up with all his missed messages. Luke inviting him for a weights session. Sam inviting him for dinner. His mother checking in. Katie taunting him. And Ava. Of course Ava. Reading her message, Tyler didn’t know if he should be pissed at himself for missing her message when she needed him or glad she knew what it felt like to have to face things on her own. He meant to message her back straight away, but he couldn’t find the right words. Instead he read and reread the message a hundred times and still came up blank.

On Monday he went back to training. It might have been a public holiday for the rest of the country, but for Tyler, his rigid training schedule didn’t allow for public holidays. He’d meant to reply, he really had but then he’d found an excuse not to. Not a reason, an excuse. And it was feeble at best. It had been three days now since he’d heard from her. The longest they’d not spoken since they’d officially become a couple. What made it worse and drove him crazy was knowing the longer he left it, the harder it got. They’d both been tired and cranky and frustrated. They’d both said things they didn’t mean—things they couldn’t take back, but the vastness of the gap between them was widening with every breath.

By the time he’d made it home after training he was wiped out. Every breath he took burned and his chest ached. All he could think about was a hot shower, some food, and a long sleep. But that wasn’t about to happen. Stepping through his front door, Tyler realized his apartment, his sanctuary had been violated by angry chick music and really bad singing.

“’Bout time you got home.”

“Katie.” Tyler sighed heavily as he dropped his bag on the floor and kicked off his shoes. “I’d say I’m happy to see you but you know Mum doesn’t like liars.”

“Oooh. What’s crawled up your bum?”

“Nothing!”

“Or should I say who?”

“Fuck off, Katie! Why are you here?”

With a teaspoon hanging from her mouth and a jar of Nutella in her hand, Katie shrugged. “Can’t a sister just miss her little brother?”

“Probably. But you couldn’t.”

“You really are a sour shithead today. Where’s Ava? I thought for sure she’d be here.”

At the mention of Ava’s name, Tyler physically recoiled. It was if at the mention of her name, Tyler was forced to remember that he hadn’t made an effort. It didn’t really matter that she hadn’t made an attempt to contact him either; Tyler was forced to swallow down the ball of guilt that had found a home in his throat.

“At her place, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure there’s a story there, but I’m starving, and this jar is nearly empty. Why don’t you get changed and take your favourite sister out for dinner? I’m feeling dumplings.”

With a huff, Tyler shuffled down the hallway and pulled on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. He had no interest in going out for dinner or out in general, and he had even less desire to discuss his problems with his nosy, meddling sister, but she was here and Tyler knew he had no choice. At least if they were out in public she couldn’t smack him up the side of the head.

“Come on then,” he mumbled as he grabbed his keys and wallet and shooed her out the door.

Not bothering to get a car out, it was just too much hassle to try to find a car park, they walked side by side in silence. Tyler found his eyes scouring the landscape around him. In the park a father and son kicked a ball back and forth completely unperturbed by the dark and menacing storm clouds rolling in over head.

When they reached the door of the busy restaurant, Katie stepped in front of Tyler and spoke to the waiter. It was barely a minute before they were shepherded to a table tucked away in the corner. Tyler didn’t have to say anything. Katie knew. If they wanted to eat in public undisturbed, then they needed the most private table they could get. Otherwise it would be a parade of people stopping by to say hi and request a selfie or autograph.

Without looking at the menu, they placed their orders. To an outsider watching it must have looked like a synchronised dance. Rehearsed. Discussed. To Tyler it was nothing. Dinner with his sister. The one person who knew him better than anyone. The one person who could read him without a word.

“Okay, enough with the silence. What’d you do this time?”

“Why do I have to be the one to have done something wrong?”

“Seriously, Tyler?”

“Seriously.”

“It’s always the guy’s fault.”

“Says the woman.”

Katie poked her tongue out at him and they chuckled at their own joke. Tyler wouldn’t admit it but it was exactly what he needed. A break from the heavy. A break from the thoughts and regrets that were circling around his head, taunting him.

“I said something I probably shouldn’t have,” he admitted, his tone laced with defeat.

“Probably?”

“Fine! I said something I know I shouldn’t have.”

“So apologize.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is. Say you’re sorry. Mean it. And if that doesn’t work, grovel.”

Tyler stuffed a dumpling into his mouth and it burnt his tongue. Grabbing his glass of water, he downed half before rolling his neck on his shoulders, trying to alleviate the stress that had gathered. “What if I’m not sorry?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

“Because…I meant it.”

“Tyler, what did you say? Exactly.”

For the next twenty minutes Tyler spilt his guts. Katie ummed and ahhed but kept her mouth firmly shut. The more Tyler tried to explain, tried to justify his actions, the worse he felt.

“So dumbass, what are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t seriously be this thick, Tyler. Come on! What are you going to do to fix it?”

“I don’t know,” Tyler confessed, his chest aching as he said the words aloud.

“Yes you do. You’re just too damn stubborn to admit it.”

“Fuck you, Katie.”

Tyler wanted to be pissed. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to be frustrated but he couldn’t summon the emotions. Mostly he was just empty. Blah. Although he was full of remorse.