Authors: Kimberly Slivinski
“I take it your first mission is one of the more emotional and challenging variety?”
I wiped my face across the sleeve of my shirt, hoping he wouldn’t notice the trail of snot left behind. The church was brilliant and soothing as I stood up and followed him inside. I didn’t know how I had gotten there, but I had never been more grateful for a change of scenery.
Luke was wearing his Victorian getup and I couldn’t believe how captivating he appeared in spite of it. After dreading our prom theme for so many months, I could finally see the draw. A smile crept onto my face as I allowed myself several seconds to stare at him.
“So are you going to ask me?”
“Ask you?” I replied confused.
“If I remember the dreams? Your happy place at the lake?” Luke’s mouth remained motionless, yet his eyes were dancing with delight.
I felt my face blush. “So you really were there?”
“Yes,” he said, finally cracking a grin. “I find it most intriguing.”
“My happy place or just being in someone else’s dream?”
“Both,” he announced, taking a seat beside me. My heart palpitated as he closed the distance between us. “I’ve never had an interactive dream and I really enjoy spending time at your lake.”
“It’s the company,” I said nervously. He gave me a wink and I felt my stomach flip. It wasn’t fair that he would only be in my life for a short time. I loved the feelings he ignited within me.
“So you called for me?”
“I did?” I replied. “I mean, I did. Yes. I said a prayer and this is where I ended up. I really hope you can give me some direction. I feel like someone who applied for the wrong job, but got it anyway. I don’t know what I am doing.”
“You have a personal connection with this case, don’t you?” His tone was warm and even while my anxiety was so palpable I was convinced he could see it. “Don’t feel like you can’t tell me everything, Kara. I am here to help you. Most of my leapers have a personal connection to their first case. It’s supposed to make it easier.”
“Easier?” I scoffed sarcastically. “So many of your girls have been sexually assaulted by the person they are supposed to help? Nothing like facing something head on or then maybe I’m supposed to learn the true benefits of loving others and forgiveness.”
Luke’s face immediately paled as his eyes dropped. “Oh Kara, I had no idea. I can’t… I don’t…”
“No Luke. I..I never should have just blurted that out.” I grabbed his hand. “Nothing happened. That’s actually when God intervened. I hold my virtue in high regard and I should have been more careful.”
He studied my face for a while to be sure I was telling him the truth. His obvious concern gave me warm fuzzies all over. “I’ve never heard of a leaper having such a troubling connection, but then again, I don’t really converse with my other leapers the way I do with you. I suppose they leave out many of the details.”
“I guess spending time with you in my dreams gives me a little edge up on the other girls, eh?” I teased. Luke’s expression remained bleak. “I’m fine, you know, really. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I don’t like the fact that anyone would hurt you and I really hope I can be objective with my advice.” Luke paused and put his head in his hands. “You know you learn there is a definite reason for everything, fair or not, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you realize it’s personal.”
“I will try not to think of it as personal then,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“No, it’s personal for me now too,” he said, gazing up at me. I wanted him to explain what he meant but I didn’t dare. His emotions were raw and I didn’t want to push. “I guess we should just rip the Band-Aid on this. Just let me hear it. All of it.”
“You know that expression?” I jeered. His lips quivered slightly and I felt a little satisfaction. “Alright, so here’s what I know.”
I explained what had happened the night I first said my prayer. The first flash was short but meaningful when it came to the jab I gave Gage at school. Luke quite enjoyed that part because it was the only time I noticed his expression changed, even if it was just for a moment. Then I told him about the latest, most disturbing, flash. He sat quietly, nodded and waited patiently for me to finish.
“It appears you are working on a whole family. You’ve definitely got yourself quite a challenge, especially for your first leap,” Luke gave me a sympathetic smile. “I am sure you didn’t expect this to be easy but—”
“But nothing. I didn’t expect this at all so I guess we won’t worry about what an easy first case I could have had.” I leaned back against the pew and looked up. “Any suggestions? I really don’t know what to do and Lilly was so hopeless.”
“I think you haven’t been shown enough yet. A few more flashes and we will be able to piece this together. I promise I will think about this when I am on my own. You have a lot of people counting on you.”
“Luke,” I interrupted. “How does this work exactly? I mean, I know life isn’t fair, but why do some prayers get answered while others, people who pray religiously, never get an answer? It’s very confusing for someone new to all of this.”
I felt Luke stand up and I turned to see what he was doing. He was pacing in the aisle and rumpling his blond hair. “I don’t have an answer for you. After all these years I don’t have an answer for me either. I guess that’s something you will have to ask Our Maker when your time is up. Believe me, it is something I’ve struggled with before,” he paused. “Well, before I left my regular life, I delved into a similar inquiry. With the position we are in, we just have to have faith and trust that everything is going to work out like it should. God has His reasons for everything and if you feel like He hasn’t answered something, He has. It just might not be what you expected.”
“Can you tell me about your life, Luke?” I probed. “I would love to know about your past and how you became a shepherd.”
“You want to know about
me
?” Luke asked with a smile. He was staring at me with an intensity that made me suddenly feel self-conscious.
“If you feel like sharing, I do,” I mumbled. “I mean, I’m sure my Mom would love the details about the huge crush I have on the recluse I have been spending time with. Not that she’d believe me.” I glanced up to see Luke’s mouth gaping. “Why did I just say that? Can you tell that I ramble when I am nervous?”
Gosh, could I sound anymore immature?
“Follow me,” Luke said. He nodded his head towards a smaller room off of the small chapel.
The room had a small couch and rows and rows of filled bookshelves. It must have been the library Luke spoke of. Even with such a varied selection to choose from, I could only imagine how lonely I would feel if the space was where I spent all of my free time. I guess that’s why I wanted to know more about Luke’s past. I wanted to see why he was okay with his living arrangements. It didn’t seem like a blissful way to spend eternity if you asked me. Then again, what did I know? I was new at all of this.
“The library, right?” I finally said. Luke nodded.
“My home away from home,” he laughed. “The church looks different to everyone, but my library and my room,” he pointed to a door behind him, “they always remain the same. The book selection changes as the times do. I suppose it keeps me from sounding like some archaic old timer when I meet with my leapers.”
“And you’re okay with this? Seriously?” I asked, now deeply concerned for his well-being and happiness.
“Yes.” He glanced up at me for a moment. “I didn’t think anything of it until recently. Your entrance into my life was unexpected.” He immediately became flustered, like he was sharing or feeling something he shouldn’t. “You really want to hear about my past?”
“Yes,” I said, taking a seat on the couch and slapping the space next to me. “Please Luke, I would love to hear your story.”
His lips curled upwards as he lowered himself down gently on the cushion beside me. “Where to start.”
I grabbed his hand. “Whatever works best for you. I’m not going anywhere, at least I don’t think so.”
Luke returned the gesture by squeezing my hand firmly. He was obviously nervous and I found it upsetting that he had kept things bottled up inside of himself for over one hundred years, something I couldn’t even comprehend. Everyone needed someone to talk to. I was sure even a priest, rabbi, or other clergyman got to share his feelings with someone.
“I was born in 1886,” Luke began. “I was an only child. My mom wanted more children, but it just never happened for her. It would have been nice to grow up with a sibling or two, but I was really close to my parents.”
“That’s how I am with my mom,” I admitted. “She’s all I’ve got so we stick together.”
“How did your father die?” Luke asked unexpectedly.
“Cancer. It was a long hard road for my mom. I don’t really remember him. It’s tragic, really. She hasn’t dated anyone since he died.”
“I can only imagine her heartbreak,” Luke replied. “I had to watch my mother die when I was only fourteen and then my father self-destructed. He gave up on God, on everything. It didn’t matter what I said, he didn’t care if he lived or died after she was gone. Then eventually he got his wish.”
“Both your parents died in the same year?” I was horrified and deeply saddened for him at the same time. His Father had abandoned him during a time when he needed him the most.
“Just months apart,” Luke continued. “It was too much for me to handle. There were other families willing to take me in, but I was too heartbroken and alone to reach out to them. One night I got my affairs in order, went to the nearest bridge and jumped.”
Silence permeated the room. Luke had tried to kill himself. The man who appeared so strong and steadfast in his faith had actually been hopeless. There was no telling how tragedy could affect a person. I knew I’d be a wreck if anything happened to my mom. She was my whole world.
“So
He
saved you? You said a prayer?”
Luke nodded. “I was drowning in the icy water and hoping it would end soon. Then something inside of me pushed back. I began to panic and suddenly I didn’t want to die. I prayed to God, though I really didn’t believe in the power of prayer after my parents had died, and asked him to save me. I said I would serve Him however He needed me to.”
“So when did you become a shepherd?”
“Actually a few months after that incident on the bridge, I had my first flash. I was a leaper for five years before I became a shepherd.”
“So you are frozen in time as you were at nineteen?” I guessed.
“I think. I haven’t looked in a mirror in years,” he chuckled. “I guess men don’t really care about appearances.”
“Please Luke,” I laughed. “You’re too modest. Guys as good looking as you probably spend most of their time in front of the mirror admiring themselves.”
Why do I blurt things out without thinking?
“So you don’t have to shave or anything like that?”
“Yes, but I’ve gotten it down to a science,” he teased. “And before you think it, yes, I do eat.”
“What do you eat?” I probed.
“Manna and water.”
“That’s it? How are you
not
emaciated and starved? Don’t you get sick of it?”
“I stopped thinking about the pleasures of food years ago. I am just thankful to be alive and I can’t complain about what I’ve been blessed with.” His answers were honest and sincere. His simplicity and thankful way at viewing his life was amazing and I was in awe.
“And I complain about only getting to have ice cream sundaes sporadically. What a spoiled brat I am,” I sneered.
Luke gently grabbed my face with his hands and turned my face towards him. His eyes were filled with more emotion than I had ever taken the time to notice. He was tranquil as he examined my features, at least that’s what it felt like he was doing. I could barely breathe. As he continued to watch me silently, I found myself focusing on his soft lips. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but I knew such a gesture would be inappropriate, not to mention how awkward it would make things between us.
“What are you thinking?” he finally asked.
“Did you just read my mind… because that’s so unfair if you did?” I pulled away from him as I tried to hide the pulsating heat spreading through every inch of my body.
“I only catch things once in a while when you are thinking them with great emotion. I wasn’t listening in, I swear.” Luke shifted his eyes away, but the grin on his face was a dead giveaway. He had totally read my mind. “And you’re not a spoiled brat. I have known all kinds of
privileged
affluent women and you are nothing like them.”
“So is this mind reading thing something you’ve only been able to do as a shepherd or is this a gift you’ve always had?” I continued to avoid meeting his eyes. He obviously knew that his newest leaper cared about him in ways that she shouldn’t. What I didn’t get was why he wasn’t more troubled by it.
Could he actually feel the same way? Not likely.
“It’s something I have just learned how to do in the last few years. Maybe it’s my age and the areas of my mind are just more lucid. I don’t know if my abilities would work outside of this realm though. I think it is just a special gift that comes with living here.”
“That’s reassuring,” I teased. “How about in my dreams? Have you heard anything there?”
“No,” Luke smiled. “But I wasn’t really trying, and like I said I only hear thoughts once in a while.”
“Well good,” I announced. “I really don’t like having to hide things from you.”
Luke glanced down at his hands and I got a sick feeling that our time together was running short. His outline wasn’t twinkling yet, but it was only a matter of time. I felt a twinge of jealousy stab through my consciousness as I thought about Luke spending time with his other leapers. I didn’t like it.
“Someone’s calling you, right?” I whispered.
“No,” Luke said, “But you’ve been here a long time and I worry about you getting a headache when you return to
your time
. These flashes are generally meant to be short.”
“Well… I feel fine,” I replied. “And I really don’t want to go. You’ve hardly told me anything about your life and since I’m here I’d love to know more. The tragic deaths you endured don’t tell me about the boy you were before or the man you became afterwards.” He raised an eyebrow. “Well I can see the kind of man you are now—
believe me
— but I am talking about what happened after you became a leaper.”