Authors: Kimberly Slivinski
I stood up to join him. Without speaking, our lips met with an intense, almost desperate, embrace. “We’re going to be okay,” I exhaled softly, hoping if I said it aloud I’d believe it too. “We might have the most complicated relationship, but we are meant to be together.”
Luke began to twinkle and we both smiled. At least we had managed some closure before he had to jet off. After a quick hug and one last brush of our lips, Luke was gone and I was left with nothing but my thoughts.
The sun was rising on my lake, illuminating a rainbow of colors along the adjacent hillside.
That’s new
. Originally my dreamscape was a place Luke unconsciously visited, but over time its ownership had become indistinguishable. Luke was constantly changing the surroundings, keeping me on my toes, and giving me an unexpected remembrance of our time together.
I jogged over to the hillside, which had instantaneously blossomed in a rainbow of colors, and threw myself down. I inhaled the sweet scents of the flowers surrounding me and prayed the simple gesture would help me let go of my uncertainties. My mind and body sank into the backdrop and before I knew it morning had arrived.
The loud beeping of my alarm clock sent reality hurling towards me at warp speed. I smacked snooze, then reluctantly sat up.
Here we go
.
After getting a shower and breakfast, we were ready to pack the car. Mom helped me load the two cumbersome trunks into our vehicle. Just as we were about to pull out of the driveway, Reyna dashed across the lawn to see me off. I’d seen her practically every day of my life; I couldn’t believe I wouldn’t see her again for months.
“Try not to change too much,” she teased, pulling me in for a hug. “Of course I wouldn’t mind it if you returned with a new infatuation for reality shows. Then we could gossip into the late night hours.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” I laughed as I climbed into the passenger seat. “I doubt I’ll even have time for television. Even if I do, you know what I’ll be watching.”
“History. Yawn. Science. Yawn.” She stopped and rolled her eyes.
I blew her a kiss. “Be good.”
Reyna waved from the drive until we were out of sight. With a long trip ahead and anxiety slinking towards the forefront of my mind, I turned my focus over to my mom. If anyone could lift my spirits it would be her.
“So how was your date? I’m sorry I didn’t wait up, but all that organizing wore me out. I don’t know how people can keep an entire house orderly when I can’t even handle one room.”
“It’s not that hard when you stay on top of things,” Mom chuckled. “And my date was better than expected. When you haven’t gone out with a man in fifteen years it can be intimidating. I was probably most of the way through dinner before I finally relaxed.”
“Well I want to hear all the details,” I announced as I pulled a snack from my backpack and silenced the radio.
The car ride passed faster than I would have liked. Between sharing relationship details, listening to a book on tape and playing a few road games, we found ourselves parked in front of the dorm in no time.
The campus was located on the side of a gradual sloping mountain hillside that led down to an expansive lake. While the dorm buildings were situated in the center of campus, the class lecture halls and local town were a hike uphill. The extracurricular spaces, including practice fields and docks, were located just beside the water’s edge. The surroundings were picturesque and I suddenly found myself wondering how I’d be able to focus on my schoolwork.
“Ready?” Mom said as she popped the trunk.
At the sound of her voice I immediately found myself snapping back to the reality of the situation. I hated to spoil her good mood or disappoint her. I suppressed my frazzled nerves, plastered on a fake smile and jumped out of the car.
The campus was buzzing with activity. Families were unloading cars parked on the lawn and we had to wait in line for a chance to access the stairwell. My arms were the consistency of cooked noodles by the time we reached my room.
There was no sign of my roommate, but she had definitely made herself at home before heading out. Her favorite color was black and as far as I could see it was the only color she liked. Black sheets, black pillows and dark nighttime landscape posters filled her side of the room. Even her wardrobe consisted mostly of black and gray hues all nicely folded in her organized closet cubicle. There were no pictures anywhere and I found myself conjuring up an image of a scary Goth chick. Even after unpacking and having my mom add her organizational touch, my side of the room was sparse.
Mom glanced around the room quickly. She wasn’t one to make snap judgments, but she was definitely trying to conceal her apprehension over my roommate. “Don’t worry honey, we will personalize your side of the room so you can feel at home too.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. “Let’s make a run to Wal-Mart. I saw one on the way in.”
“Right.” I murmured.
We passed several of my dorm mates on the way out, but I avoided eye contact. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to start getting chummy with anyone just yet. If I was being honest with myself, I just wanted to climb back in the car and head home—an option that wasn’t feasible.
When we returned from the store, my roommate was sprawled out on her bed with a magazine over her face. Mom helped me add some finishing touches on my bed, desk and wall. With all the unpacking, errand running, and organizing, Mom and I had let the time get away from us.
“Why don’t you just stay?” I begged silently. I heard a guffaw from across the room and cringed. After being the queen of concealing emotion in high school, I suddenly felt exposed and transparent.
“I have to work tomorrow morning, Kara. Sorry.”
We walked to the car and said our goodbyes. The thought of heading back to my room made me ill. My emotional state led to me stand in the parking lot long after Mom’s car had disappeared from sight. Fighting back the tears I slowly moved in the direction of the dorm. Hopefully the semester wouldn’t pass as slowly as the last five minutes had.
“Are you some kind of momma’s girl?” A sarcastic voice asked as soon as I opened the door. She had yet to show me her face.
“No,” I replied defensively. “My dad died when I was three and my mom and I are close.” My face immediately flushed as resentment burned within.
She slowly lowered her paper. “Is that your real hair color?”
“Yes,” I snapped. “Is yours?”
When she finally revealed her face I was stunned. A broad smile stretched across her olive skin as she leaped to her feet. Her dark hair donned bold pink streaks while her face was adorned with heavily coordinated make-up. She was the most beautiful yet nonconformist Asian I had ever met, which wasn’t hard to do being from a sheltered town like mine.
“Chloe Kwan,” she said, extending her hand. “I hope you know I was just messing with you. I come from a super conservative family, quite the opposite of close-knit if you know what I mean. Generally I do whatever I can to provoke a reaction from parents.” I stifled a snort. “This day couldn’t come soon enough for them, believe me.”
“Hmm,” I murmured. My tough façade cracked and I placed my palm in hers. “Kara Benson.” I hopped up on my bed as she returned to hers. “You obviously arrived early. What’s the scoop?”
“I’ve been here for a few days actually,” she grinned. “My parents were heading out of the country, so I got to stay in one of the local hotels with them. To say we had too much quality family time together would be an understatement, but the early arrival gave me the opportunity to check out this quaint lakefront town and the school campus. I’ll give you the tour tomorrow.”
We spent the rest of the evening swapping high school stories and getting to know each other. Surprisingly, dorm living was her first attempt at keeping an orderly room too. Apparently her Mom had insisted on putting everything away while Chloe ‘watched and learned’. We made a pact to make cleanliness a priority. It probably wouldn’t hold up once we got overwhelmed with our workload, but it was worth a try. We had to grow up at some point and why not do it with support.
Our morning began with a quick exploration of our communal hallway. Chloe did her best to intimidate those who answered their doors as I made introductions and tried to put them at ease. Considering how uncomfortable I found making new friends to be, I was mentally drained after only a few doors. Chloe on the other hand seemed to be energized by the experience.
My roommate ran her fingers through her hair, winked playfully at a pair of boys roaming our hall and briskly zipped up her lightweight vest. “Ready to go explore the campus, scope out the locale for your future classes and buy up some overpriced dilapidated books? I for one was ecstatic to get first dibs on the hardback selections. ”
I suppressed a giggle and nodded slightly. Once outside, my legs burned with each stride I made to keep pace with her. “A leisurely tour would be fine by me,” I huffed, as sweat dripped down my brow. There seriously wasn’t an ounce of athleticism in my blood. At some point my metabolism was bound to drop off and then I’d be in trouble. “I’m not used to these hills.”
Chloe chuckled while she surged ahead. “Just wait until winter. I can only imagine the fun you’ll have drudging to class in several feet of snow.”
My moans only exacerbated her desire to torment me so I kept quiet. Exploring the campus was one of those outings I should have done on my own, but there was no telling Chloe that while she was on a roll. Her confidant overly zealous personality reminded me of Reyna and I wondered what would happen if I ever got the two of them together.
“Here we are,” Chloe announced as she swung open the door to the school bookstore.
A line zigzagged around all the freestanding bookshelves to where we stood at the entrance. “Terrific. We’re going to be here all day.”
“Correction, Red,” Chloe cackled as she scanned the room. “I’ve got stuff to do.” She stopped to pat my shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring you something back to eat.”
Three hours and five hundred dollars later, my oversized backpack was full to capacity. My stomach was echoing so loudly I was getting inquisitive stares from everyone in close proximity and I wished I had made the time to locate the dining hall.
The path to my dorm was downhill, a fact that didn’t seem to matter to my throbbing back. I abandoned my pack and slumped to the ground wishing I had remembered to grab a snack before I left my room hours earlier.
Trial and error. I suppose I’ll learn.
Like an unanswered prayer, a sandwich dropped into my lap. I could feel myself salivating as a familiar face stood hovering over me. “Dig in weakling. You need to keep your strength up.”
“Hey,” I retorted, “this pack weighs more than me.”
Chloe reached down and slung my book sack over her shoulder effortlessly. She obviously had some powerful guns under her sleek black getup. “It’s bulky for sure.”
“You know the sad thing is that I’m still shy three books. Some psychology professor only ordered half the number of books and now I have to beg him to borrow some for the time being.” I handed her my schedule and devoured my sandwich.
“I can’t believe the bookstore employees suggested that you actually ask professor Jacobs to lend you his books. They were totally setting you up,” she snorted. I stopped chewing and glanced up. “And from what I hear, he purposely orders less books to humiliate his freshman. Not to mention he figures half the students will drop the class.” She bit into her apple and sprayed me. I was too dumbfounded to react. “Actually… I’m in
that
class so we can share my books.”
Her suggestion didn’t seem like a wise decision, but arguing such a moot point with her was useless. “And how do you, a freshman, know all this or are you just trying to get me fired up?”
“The town cafés are buzzing with gossip. I just tuned in and managed to get the scoop on all kinds of illicit activities around here.” My jaw dropped. “Don’t worry, Red, I am generally straight and narrow if that’s why you’re gaping. I just like to jerk my parents around a little. You too.” She winked.
“So can you help me find this professor or what?” I finally asked.
“His office is up that hill.” She paused momentarily. “But my offer to share still stands. I don’t want you to come crying to me when he humiliates you during lecture.”
I groaned at the thought of climbing the hill once again, but I wanted to be prepared for the first class. “Thanks… but I need to at least ask.”
“Hmm, your luck could be changing. I think Professor Degradation is headed this way,” she whispered. “I saw him in the coffee shop.”
My mouth dried up as he neared. He was a handsome forty-something and I didn’t want to spoil the image he projected by having him humiliate me here in a public setting. What if I couldn’t attend class? I needed the credits.
“Come on, chicken,” Chloe teased as she nudged me forward. He had already passed by and my window of opportunity would soon vanish.
“Professor Jacobs, Sir?” I stammered as I made every effort to catch up to him and get his attention. I prayed Chloe would grab my pack. Explaining the loss of five hundred dollars would not go over well. “I— I need the books for your freshman Psych class and I heard—”
He stopped and without turning around he began to speak. His tone was condescending and I regretted my move so much that I contemplated running away. “What in the world would make you think it’s okay to approach me outside of class?”
“Sorry sir,” I grimaced. Chloe watched from a distance donning the first compassionate expression I’d witnessed since meeting her.
He whipped around like he was ready to explode in a full rant. A group of students had gathered nearby and I wished I could will myself to flash out, body and soul.
As soon as his eyes met mine his appearance transformed from hostile to welcoming.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t polite,” he said, offering me his hand. “You are?”
“Kara Benson, Sir,” I mumbled as I tried to recover some semblance of self-assurance. “I’d just really like to be prepared for your class.”