Olivia's Winter Wonderland (2 page)

Chapter Three

Olivia and Katie were on their way to a lunchtime
castells
lesson with Pablo.
Castells
were like human towers. The strongest
castelliers
made the base, then everyone else balanced on their shoulders in layers until the whole thing looked like an enormous wedding cake. They required huge strength, skill and cooperation, and over the last two terms the Swans had been practising hard.

Olivia and Katie walked past the auditions notice board just a few metres from Miss Swan's office. Kylie Morris and her friends were hanging around near it. Some of them had clearly just come from seeing Miss Swan and others were waiting to go into her office. Alicia was holding interviews with all the girls who wanted to try
for the role of Zelda. Katie's tap shoes made a sharp noise with every step she took.

“Hark! Is that the sound of someone prepared to walk over anybody to get what she wants?” said a sly voice. Olivia thought it was Kylie but she wasn't entirely sure. It could be any one of the six or seven identikit Year Nine and Ten girls who hung around whispering together about boys and make-up. Eel called them the Coven because of their fondness for black eyeliner and witchy comments. Olivia wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of reacting so she walked on pretending that she hadn't heard a thing. But she glanced at Katie and saw that she'd turned bright pink and was chewing her lip furiously.

“You shouldn't listen to them, you know,” whispered Olivia fiercely as soon as they'd turned the corner. “They're just jealous because they know how talented you are, Katie. They see you as a rival.”

“I know
exactly
how they think,” said Katie sadly, “because I used to think just like them. I saw everybody else as a threat, one to be eliminated if necessary. It just hurts because Kylie used to be a friend, or at least what I
thought of as a friend in those days. She even came on safari with my family. I never expected to be welcomed back with open arms after everything I did, but I did hope she and some of the others might be kinder. But I guess she liked me for my family's money, not for me, and I can hardly blame her. I wasn't very likeable. I upset so many people by being mean and spiteful.”

“You can't beat yourself up forever,” said Olivia seriously. “You're a different person to the one you were then.”

“It's a relief you think so,” said Katie. “The old Katie is dead and gone and I can't say I'm sorry.” She sighed. “Although, of course, I do miss the high life. The theatre trips. The swimming-pool parties. The holidays in five-star hotels. So does Mum. After the house was repossessed and Dad fled abroad to avoid standing trial, she got really depressed. She hates having no money and she's having a really hard time adjusting. We've even had debt collectors at the door. Dad left such a mess behind.”

“How is your mum doing now?” asked Olivia.

Katie flushed. “She's all right,” she said,
and it was clear from her tone that she didn't want to discuss it further. Olivia felt embarrassed by her question. She didn't want Katie to think she was prying.

Olivia sat in Alicia's office with her feet twisted round the legs of the chair. Her lips were set in a mutinous line. Her grandmother gave a long, low sigh.

“I know you didn't put your name forward, but I wish you'd at least give it some thought, Livy. Not just say no outright. I think you'd make a lovely Zelda. So does Sebastian,” she said, referring to the Swan's head of acting. “He says you've been working so hard in acting class. You proved in
Peter Pan
that you have the makings of a really fine actor, and there's no singing and dancing, so you don't have to worry about that.”

“Is there any high-wire walking or trapeze work?” asked Olivia from beneath a curtain of dark hair.

Alicia tried very hard not to show her exasperation. “You know there isn't, Livy. Why don't you at least let me put your name down for the auditions?”

Olivia squirmed. It wasn't just that she didn't want anything to interfere with her high-wire and trapeze training. The thought of doing an audition made her feel sick. She couldn't understand why most of the Swans were so keen to put themselves through a process that as far as she could see could only feel like being a prize heifer at a cattle market, and more often ended in disappointment than success. She'd once asked the others why they did it, and Tom and Georgia had looked at her as if she was mad, and said that they really enjoyed auditions. Well, Georgia had said that she started to enjoy them once she'd got over the fluttery sick feeling in her tummy.

“It's no different from trying out for a football team,” Tom had said. “I mean, some people are going to get in and some people aren't. And if you don't, you just have to get over it and try to get better.”

Georgia nodded.

“But it's not quite the same, is it, Tom?” said Aeysha thoughtfully. “I don't know anything about football, but I'd guess that it's quite easy to see who is good at it and who isn't, but something like acting is much more subjective.
Even more so than dancing and singing. There's no obvious way to measure acting, and what one person thinks of as good acting might be total histrionics to another. So when you get rejected at an audition it feels really personal. I know it's just that you're not right for the part, that maybe you're dark-haired and they've decided they want a blonde, but that's how it can feel.”

Georgia and Tom nodded vigorously. They both knew how it felt to be knocked back.

“If I'm honest,” continued Aeysha, “Jodie, the girl I was up against in the final round of auditions for the
Tracy Beaker
movie, was probably a better actor than me, but on the day of the last audition, I had the luck and she didn't. So I got the role.”

“But the point is that when you do get the part, you completely forget about the times you didn't. You feel on top of the world. Invincible,” said Tom.

“Yes,” said Aeysha. “But what if you don't ever get the part? You always just miss out. How would you feel then?”

“Well, if performing is what you really want to do, then I think that you just have to keep trying,” said Georgia. “If you want it
enough. If it's your dream.”

Olivia remembered the conversation as she sat opposite her grandmother in Alicia's cosy office. She knew that she didn't want it enough. At least not now. Maybe she would in the future, but for now she wanted to concentrate on the tightrope and the trapeze. She had loved playing Wendy in
Peter Pan
for one night in the West End. She had loved how it had made her feel inside: as if somebody had lit a candle inside her tummy that was giving off a warm fizzing glow. But that had been an emergency. She hadn't had to audition, and she didn't even know it was going to happen until minutes before the curtain went up, so she barely had time to feel nervous. She just didn't want to try out for Zelda, even though she had read the book and loved the character.

“I know I'm disappointing you, Gran,” said Olivia, “but I don't want to do it. It's just not right for me. Not now. I wish it was. I'm sorry.”

“Oh, Livy,” said Alicia softly. “The one thing I've learned over the last year is that you never disappoint me.” Then she added with a rueful smile, “Puzzle me? Worry me? Frustrate me? Surprise me? Yes. But you never disappoint
me.” She gave her granddaughter a hug.

“Maybe it's not such a bad thing. Every girl except you is desperate to play Zelda. And so will every other girl in every other stage school and youth theatre group around the country. So there's going to be an awful lot of competition and there is going to be an awful lot of disappointment and tears.”

“Gran,” said Olivia shyly. “I would quite like to be in the panto.”

“But you'd still have to audition for that, Livy.”

“Oh, I don't want a leading role,” said Olivia. “I thought maybe I could do some trapeze or wire-walking, although I doubt the theatre roof is high enough to rig. We would have to ask Pablo.”

“I already have.” Alicia smiled. “He's going to see what's possible and if the roof can take the strain. It is in a bit of a state.”

“If not, maybe I could play the back end of the pantomime horse?” said Olivia. “That would be such fun. It would be mint.”

Alicia watched Olivia leave her office. Her beautiful, serious granddaughter was so different from most of the other Swans. They
were all so desperate for the limelight and eager for her to put their names forward for Zelda. She looked down at the next name on her list. This interview was going to be tricky.

Chapter Four

Olivia picked up her plate of pasta and salad and walked over to her friends' table. They were running through lines for a scene they would be playing together in acting class later that afternoon. They broke off as soon as Olivia sat down.

“So, why did Miss Swan want to see you?” said Georgia excitedly. “Are you going to go up for it, Livy?”

Georgia and Aeysha had already had their interviews with Miss Swan, who had happily put both their names on the audition list.

“Yes,” said Olivia solemnly.

Georgia gasped.

“Liv Marvell, you dark horse,” said Tom, shaking his head. “I'm surprised, but
really pleased.”

“That's amazing, Livy,” said Aeysha. “I knew Miss Swan would want you to. Particularly after you were so brilliant as Wendy in
Peter Pan.
But I never thought you'd say yes. Not in a million years.”

“Me neither,” said Georgia. And she suddenly felt a bit funny, as if she was very hungry even though she had just eaten her lunch.

“Charming!” said Olivia with a smile. “I thought that you'd think it was a role I was born to play. Gran seemed to think so.”

There was a little pause, and then Georgia said in a small voice, “Did she really say that?”

“Well, she seemed to imply I'm in with a very good chance, although she did warn me that I'd be up against some really stiff competition and so I wasn't to get my hopes up too high and end up being crushed.”

Olivia could see Tom looking at her very closely and rather suspiciously.

“So, that means we'll all be up for it,” said Aeysha. “That's going to feel a bit strange. Like being rivals. None of us have ever gone up against each other for the same job before. It's
going to be weird.”

“Oh!” said Olivia, sounding amazed. “Now I'm
really
worried. I hadn't realised you and Georgia were so keen to play the back end of the horse in the Swan panto. I may have to withdraw.”

For a second there was a tiny silence as her words sunk in, and then Tom roared with laughter.

“Georgia, Aeysha, she's been winding you up. That's brilliant, Liv,” he said, wiping the tears away. Aeysha started laughing too, and something like relief flashed crossed Georgia's face before she grinned broadly and said, “So you're definitely not going up for Zelda?”

Olivia shook her head.

“But, Livy, seriously, why aren't you at least giving it a shot?” said Aeysha. “You'd be great, I know you would.”

“It's nice of you to say, Aeysha. But I just don't want to. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and Georgia. I hope one of you gets it.”

“We'll be rooting for you both,” said Tom.

“Oh,” said Georgia. “We might not even be called when they've looked us up in Spotlight.” Spotlight was the huge database of professional
actors that directors and casting agents used to find actors to play roles. “Anyway,” she added gloomily, “even if we do get called I doubt we'll get past the first audition.”

“Bet you will,” said Tom.

“Even if we both do,” said Aeysha, “in the end only one of us can be Zelda. One of us is always going to be the loser. In this business you're either first or you're nothing.”

Katie sat in the same chair in Alicia Swan's office that had quite recently been vacated by Olivia. She was feeling nervous. She'd always felt that Miss Swan had the ability to see right through her. It made her feel uncomfortable, as if she had forgotten to put on all her clothes.

“How are you getting on, Katie?” asked Alicia kindly. The girl sitting in front of her looked so different from the sleek Katie Wilkes-Cox of old. In fact, thought Alicia, this new Katie may be less glossy, but she was actually far more attractive. Her work had improved too. Only the evening before Sebastian Shaw had said to Alicia that there was a new depth to Katie's acting.

“In the past I always felt that Katie was
acting being an actress. Now I get a sense that she really feels it and lives it.”

“You're not seriously trying to tell me that hardship and misfortune have made her a better actor, are you?” snorted Alicia. “I thought you had no time for the silly notion that all good actors are damaged people in one way or another. You'll be telling me next that an unhappy childhood and being beaten four times a day is the secret to becoming a great actor.”

“Wouldn't dream of trying,” said Sebastian. “It's not a question of happy or unhappy childhoods. But whatever natural talent they have, all actors have to have some kind of inner life and emotional depths to draw upon. With the interesting ones there's always a feeling that what you see on stage is only the very tip of an iceberg, that it's all the intense stuff going on beneath the waterline that makes them really fascinating to watch.”

“And does Katie have that?” asked Alicia softly.

Sebastian looked hard at her. “I think you know as well as I do, Alicia, it doesn't come along often. Sometimes you only see it a few times in a generation. Toni had it, and we've
had a handful since, like Theo. At the moment I'd say that although we've plenty of talented children, we've only one pupil in the school for whom that's clearly true, and of course she's fighting it every step of the way, and by fighting it she may smother it until it withers and dies. But you know, I think there's a chance that Katie may be another. Who knows? It's a mysterious thing that often sprouts in the most unexpected places and in the least likely children.”

“How do you think Katie's coping with being back at the Swan?” asked Alicia.

“Pretty well in the circumstances. Though she doesn't say much about it, I get the impression that things are a bit grim at home.”

“Well, a lot of our children rise above their circumstances. Many of their families make great sacrifices for them to be here. She wouldn't be the first to have a difficult home life. I was really wondering how she is settling down in the school.”

“Generally OK. Livy, Tom and their friends are keeping a pretty close eye on her. But I think some of the scarier Year Nine and Ten girls are doing their best to make her feel like an outcast.”

“Ah, the Coven, as Eel calls them,” said
Alicia with a glint in her eye. “I've noticed some of them are getting above themselves. I'm going to have to keep an eye on them. But it's understandable that some of them feel resentful about Katie being given a second chance.”

“Eel's name for them is spot-on,” said Sebastian. “It's a stage a lot of girls go through, but this gaggle are particularly irritating. But I reckon as long as most of them get a shot at Zelda and realise that Katie isn't getting any privileges she doesn't deserve at this stage, they'll back off and turn their attention to running each other down and discussing the latest miracle mascara.”

After Sebastian had left, Alicia had been lost in thought. What he had said wasn't going to make her interview with Katie any easier.

But in the end Katie made it painless for her. The two of them had discussed how Katie was settling down and Alicia had praised her for the progress she was making in maths, and then there had been the tiniest of pauses before Katie suddenly blurted, “Look, Miss Swan, I know this is difficult. But I do realise you can't let me go up for Zelda. It wouldn't be right. I know it's not an option, however much I
may want it.”

Alicia gave a sad, kind little smile. “That's very mature of you, Katie, and very perceptive. I'm afraid it's quite true. I can't only think of what's in
your
best interests, I have to think of the whole school. It's such a pity the role has come up now, not next year. By then you would have proved to everyone what an asset the new Katie is to the Swan, but just at the moment I know that a number of pupils in the school will be alert to any suggestion that you are being given any special treatment. As far as I'm concerned, you redeemed yourself entirely when you helped save the Swan, but you made an awful lot of enemies before that and people can hold a grudge. So I'm sorry it's not going to happen for you this term. It's a shame; Mr Shaw says you're doing really well in acting class, and Miss Taylor has also been praising you for progress in dance class, and we all know that doesn't happen very often.”

Katie forced a smile. She knew that Miss Swan was right, but she'd really hoped this wasn't what she'd say. Katie longed to have a shot at auditioning. Zelda was such a plum part. It would be well paid too, which wasn't the case
with stage work. But then, after how she had behaved while in
The Sound of Music,
she knew it could be a very long time before she got a crack at the West End again. If ever. People's memories were long, gossip was rife in the business and forgiveness in short supply. Her dad's disgrace had raked it all up again. Her only real hope, at least for the next few years, would be in TV and movies. She wondered whether she ought to take a stage name. Katie Wilkes-Cox was what her dad would have called a “damaged brand”, so tainted that she might never get another job, and if she didn't work at all over the next few years she didn't know what was going to happen to her and her mum. She wanted to be able to look after her.

“Oh well,” she said a little too brightly. “It can't be helped.”

“That's the spirit, Katie. I'm proud of you,” said Alicia. “I'm sure we'll find something for you in the panto; not a leading role, of course. But prove yourself over the next year or eighteen months and I'm sure they will eventually come your way again.”

“Yes, Miss Swan,” said Katie, but her heart was heavy. A year or eighteen months was a
lifetime. She wasn't sure that she and her mum could hold on that long.

As Katie slipped out Miss Swan's office she ran into Olivia and her friends walking down the corridor.

“Hi,” said Aeysha. “How did your interview with Miss Swan go?”

“OK,” said Katie in a small voice.

“Are you going up for Zelda?” asked Georgia curiously.

Katie gave a little laugh. “Of course not. It'll be the back end of the pantomime horse for me.”

“Sorry, already taken,” said Olivia with a grin. “I've bagged it. And Tom doesn't know it yet, but he's going at the front end.”

“Aw, and I thought I was in with a chance of Prince Charming,” said Tom in mock sorrow.

“In your dreams,” said Olivia gleefully. “Although you might get a look in as an ugly sister.”

“OK, I'll take the horse,” said Tom. “That's if you're really serious about it?”

“I could say neigh,” said Olivia, “but I'd be lying.”