Office Perks (20 page)

‘Thanks a bunch!'

He was right, but there was nothing to be done about it beyond retiring to the Ladies for a more thorough freshening-up session. By the time I was finished it was half-five and people were beginning to leave. I hung around in the downstairs lobby, waiting for Luke and hoping he wasn't going to hit on me.

For one thing I was still sore, and I wasn't really up for it anyway. I was kind of sexed-out. He also lacked the manly edge I like, the sense that it's only by a great effort of willpower that I don't get my clothes ripped off and a cock stuck up me on the spot. Niall had it, and Todd Byrne, and Frazer, but not Luke. He was more like a puppy, eager but unsure of himself.

He was certainly nervous, oddly nervous, as we walked down the Edgware Road together towards Marble Arch. It wasn't embarrassment, because he kept coming back to what had happened with Bobbie and Frazer, as if he couldn't get it out of his head. In between he talked films, on which subject he had an exhaustive knowledge and, once we were in
Mise en Scène
and waiting for our drinks, he began to explain the background to the various posters and mementoes decorating the place. I let him talk, happy to listen.

There were three styles, French, American, and Cajun. That meant no decent whiskey, but a double shot of Wild Turkey began to put the energy back in me, with Luke still going on happily about the intricacies of the film industry. He'd ordered wine, a bottle of heavy Californian red, and was drinking like a fish, a good third of it
gone before out food arrived. For a while there was silence as we both tucked in, and when he spoke again his voice was more nervous than ever, and he wasn't discussing films.

‘Lucy, I really have to say this, but it's not easy.'

‘Don't then.'

I gave him a silly smile, praying he wasn't about to tell me he loved me.

‘No, I have to. It's been preying on my mind ever since that night, but I can't do it on my own. I need you to be there.'

It sounded like he wanted me to toss him off, and he sounded so pitiful it was going to be hard to refuse. I steeled myself, determined to be polite but firm, and was about to speak when he went on, in an urgent whisper.

‘I've got to do it, Lucy. You know, what you said . . . with Frazer, or somebody else, a black guy, preferably. I want to suck a man's cock and I want you to make me do it.'

For a moment I was just staring as his face turned from its normal fresh pink to blazing scarlet. Then I burst into laughter. I just couldn't help it, and his expression changed on the instant, to utter misery, as if he was about to burst into tears. He began to rise, stammering apologies, but I reached out to take his wrist, holding him back.

‘No, no, don't go. Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. That was wrong of me. You just gave me a bit of a surprise, that's all, and you sounded so earnest!'

‘I am earnest! I can't get it out of my head. Ever since that night I've been thinking about it, fantasising about it, you know. And when I saw you in the office I knew I had to at least ask.'

‘You were right to. Everyone should have the right to ask.'

‘You'll do it then? Please, Lucy.'

‘I didn't say that. I mean, I don't mind, and it was fun. It would have been more fun if Frazer had let you. That's the problem, you see, finding the right guy. You can't force a straight bloke to do this stuff. They freak out.'

‘Don't you know anyone who might?'

I thought. Niall would kill him, Todd was a bit of a caveman, but I couldn't see it. I could hardly ask Richard Drake. The same went for the guys at Tilbury, with the possibly exception of Ismael, who was a dirty bastard. Unfortunately I had no way of getting in touch with him and couldn't be sure anyway. I shook my head. Realistically, they were all rampantly heterosexual.

‘Not really, no.'

‘Maybe if we went to a gay bar? Would you take me to a gay bar, Lucy?'

‘A gay bar? I don't know.'

‘Sh! Be quiet!'

I was going to demand what gave him the right to tell me to shut up, only to realise that somebody was approaching our table. A shadow fell over me. Luke looked up with an ingratiating grin and I turned to find a tall, bronzed man standing over us. Just from Luke's expression I knew he was somebody senior, but I could have told anyway. There was just a touch of grey in his hair, he carried himself with an easy confidence, and his face suggested that he was used to be obeyed, and promptly. He turned me a smile, and spoke, addressing me but looking at Luke.

‘So, Luke, you've been hiding the pretty ones from us, huh?'

Luke gave a light, obsequious laugh and spoke.

‘Good evening, Mr King. This is my friend, Lucy, who's working as a temp in the Centrans building. Lucy, meet Mr King, President of KMC.'

‘You can call me Charles,' the man responded, a comment very clearly addressed to me and not to Luke.

I smiled politely. KMC was the company I was on assignment to. My immediate instinct was to complain about the rate of pay, the working conditions, the lack of air conditioning and user unfriendly database, but I held my bland smile and let him kiss my hand, thinking what a smarmy git he was. Of course he had to ask.

‘So, Lucy, you see a lot of firms. How do you rate KMC?'

Not a sensible question to ask Lucy Doyle.

‘As an employer? A little below average.'

Luke cringed. King's eyebrows rose.

‘Below average?'

‘Yes. Not that I know much, of course, because I'm just doing the Centrans files, but if the database we're using is anything to go by you need some new IT staff.'

‘New IT staff, huh?'

‘Sure. Somebody who can think at the level of the staff who actually do the work. It's a lot of work for the money too, but I suppose that's a good thing, from your point of view.'

He didn't look best pleased, and then suddenly he was all smiles.

‘I like that! You've got guts. Maybe you could pick up a hint or two from Lucy, eh, Luke?'

He ruffled my hair and walked off, chuckling to himself, with Luke muttering under his breath.

‘Sure. Let me try a line like that. I'll be deinstalled and my desk'll be on the pavement in seconds flat. Arsehole.'

He sighed and swallowed most of what was left in his wine glass. I went back to my food, a steak ‘Monroe' which, for some reason, involved mustard sauce. Luke kept glancing at the bar where Charles King and two
other men were standing in a group drinking shorts, but he spoke after a while.

‘How about it, then?'

I'd finally worked out why a steak Monroe came with mustard sauce, and had been thinking about transvestites, which led me back to what we'd been talking about quite easily.

‘How about what? Oh, right. I don't know. It sounds fun, sure.'

‘Say you'll do it, Lucy, please.'

‘I'd do it. It's just a hassle finding the right guy. Straight guys won't go for it, and I don't suppose gay guys would want me hanging around. I suppose you could advertise for a bi-sexual black guy on the net somewhere, and then let me know if you hit pay dirt?'

He nodded urgently.

‘I could do that, yes.'

I didn't answer immediately because something else had occurred to me. In one of the pubs we'd been in on the Saturday night there had been a message on the wall in the Ladies. Some guy had left his mobile number with an offer to suck him off through a hole in the partition, claiming he had the biggest cock in London. Sophie had been with me at the time, and it had made us giggle, only I couldn't remember which pub it had been.

‘So you just want to suck another man's cock, yes?'

‘With you watching.'

‘Right, but does he have to watch too?'

He looked puzzled.

‘Just come with me.'

I took him by the hand, leading him towards the door, only to have my dramatic exit spoiled by a waiter pointing out that we hadn't paid the bill. We were both too dozy to realise, having got carried away thinking
about Luke's sexual dilemma. After settling up we caught a cab to Camden Town, with Luke constantly demanding to know what I was up to, with rising excitement, and me refusing to tell him. He wasn't the only one getting excited. I might not have fancied him, but what we were doing was thrilling, and maybe even dangerous. My stomach was fluttering as we climbed out of the cab and as I tried to figure out which pub the message had been in.

We hit fourth time lucky, after four shots of whiskey and four visits to the loo. The message was still there, clear as day, also the joke, ‘meet me on Lyme Regis cobb' I'd scrawled underneath it. I copied down the number and rejoined Luke in the bar, where he was sipping nervously at a glass of red wine. Time to tell all.

‘I have a number, a guy who says he's got a huge cock. He says he's called Aaron. This is what we do. I call him, and say I'd like to meet. He comes here, we have a few drinks and I take him in the Ladies, where there's a hole in wall. A glory hole, I think it's called. Only you're already in the cubicle, and you suck him instead. Sound good?'

He was shaking as he answered, a wordless noise I chose to take for assent. I wasn't much better myself, my hand shaking as I tapped out the number.

Nobody answered.

I rang again.

Nobody answered.

I bought a second round of drinks, took as long as my patience would allow, and rang a third time.

Nobody answered.

I could have kicked the bastard. There he was, leaving dirty messages in Ladies loos, and he didn't even have the sense or decency to leave his mobile on. I'd been so keyed up, especially when I'd found his number, and I
was shaking with reaction. Luke was no better, torn between relief and disappointment, but there was nothing to be done, except try again later.

Or try somewhere else. I was game for anything, just about, and I could remember Ryan making jokes about what went on at Hampstead Heath. I took Luke by the hand, leading him towards a bus stop.

‘Right, enough nonsense. You're going to suck cock one way or another.'

‘Sh! Lucy!'

I hadn't exactly been subtle, and there were plenty of people around. One girl sniggered as we passed and said something to her mates. A bus passed us, slowing for the stop, and we ran ahead to catch it. As we came into the light I saw just how red Luke's face was, and I was laughing as I threw myself into a seat. The bus lurched forward and Luke had plonked himself down beside me.

‘Lucy, please, this isn't something I can really handle.'

‘You started it,' I reminded him.

‘Yes, but where are we going?'

‘Hampstead Heath.'

He knew, because he made an odd little noise in his throat as he swallowed hard. I was enjoying myself, bold, horny, and, OK, pissed too, but determined to succeed. Bobbie was going to be delighted but envious when I told her. And Sophie. I even considered calling them, but I was scared that Luke would lose his nerve and bottle out. He was holding my hand, or rather, holding onto my hand, adding to my feelings of mischief and power.

We got off where the road passed along side the Heath, which made a great dark space beyond the reach of the streetlights. Alone, I wouldn't have gone in, but with Luke I felt OK, for all his nervousness. We found a gate between high hedges that cast black shadows in the
dull orange-grey glow of the street lights. I could just about see the path, and a figure coming towards us, setting my heart hammering until I saw it just an elderly woman out walking her dogs.

‘Where do you suppose is a good place?'

‘I don't know. Look, Lucy, I think we should call it a day.'

‘Sh, just relax. It's too late to back out now.'

He went silent, letting me lead him up the path and deeper into the Heath, where just the occasional light made pools in the darkness. There were people about, more than I'd have expected, and at a junction I turned up the hill, in among trees and alongside where a pond showed as a sheet of dull pewter, absolutely still. A man passed us, his face glimpsed only briefly, but he was elderly, nervous – not a good choice, but perhaps out for the same thing as we were.

I felt a little frightened, very excited, my nerves wire tense, but I was determined not to back out. Luke was worse, hanging back and mumbling about the time, and work, and the possibility of rain. Finally he stopped, where another path crossed ours beneath a lamp.

‘Shall we go back?'

‘No! You wanted this, Luke, and if . . .'

I shut up. Somebody was coming towards us, a man, young, muscular, dressed in an over-tight top, even tighter shorts that left no doubt whatsoever as to his masculinity, and sandals. Luke's attitude had started to get my temper up, and I spoke without thinking.

‘Excuse me. This is my boyfriend. He wants to suck someone's cock. He's a gay virgin and he doesn't want to me.' There. I had blurted it out.

The man stopped, surprised, but only for an instant.

‘OK. It's fifty.'

‘Fifty?'

‘Fifty quid.'

‘Fifty quid? What, you charge?'

‘Yes.'

‘Sod you, then,' I said, out of shock more than anything else. ‘Come on, Luke, we'll find someone who appreciates you.'

I still had his hand, and pulled him after me, only not very far, because he didn't want to come. The guy, the rent boy, had stopped too, and was looking at us, none too friendly. Luke spoke, stammering, blushing.

‘I don't mind paying . . . fifty is OK.'

The guy nodded, slow and easy, his mouth moving into a knowing smile.

‘Yeah, thought so. And you want your bitch to watch?'

‘I am not his bitch! Fuck you!' I yelled indignantly.

‘I don't do girls.'

‘And I don't do . . .'

‘But I'll make an exception for you. Two hundred.'

‘Jesus!' I exclaimed.