Of Hearts And Stars (Classic Editon) (The Cadet Starship Chronicles) (4 page)

“
Yeah, okay Mr. Thermodynamics. Drunken magicians have pulled better rabbits from the hat than that.” Swift said and they both looked at each other and laughed.

Ollie stopped in his own doorway and asked “See you at dinner?”

Swift stood in his doorway and said “Yeah, I'll be there with buttons on.” and went into his room. He looked at his uniform in the mirror on the inside of his wardrobe's door and smiled. “Magical.” he said one more time before taking off his jacket and laying down for a pre-dinner nap.

-
11
-

Over the next few weeks Ollie and Swift became fast friends, sharing a mutual interest in combat ships, technology, and tactics. They spent a good portion of their time building models and goofing off while discussing strategy and historical battles. Both boys were glad to have found friendship in such a miserable place where bullying was frequent and the caregivers were severely abusive. It had been a particularly fine Saturday morning, one on which Swift had planned to show Ollie the might of a full tank squadron, when Swift was told that he must go down to the visitor room for a counseling session. This time Bob had taken a few precautions. A caregiver stood on either side of Swift, ready to intercept him if he tried to walk out again.

“
I'm sorry we couldn't have more privacy, but I can't have you leaving early this time Leoric.” Bob explained.

Leoric looked at one caregiver and then the other and said “That's fine. You're just doing your job.”

At least this kid understood, Bob thought. Hopefully he'd let him keep doing his job.

“
Let's get started. Do you miss your parents?” Bob asked.

Swift's jaw dropped, and he looked up at one of the caregivers as if to ask if this guy was serious. He took a deep breath and sighed.

He held up his hands and asked “If you were to lose your hands, then would that erase them from existence in your memory? I doubt that. Hands are very important to us. Very near and dear. I don't suffer from phantom limb, or phantom parents in this case, but everyday the fact that they are gone makes itself obvious.”

Bob jotted down some notes on his clipboard and said “So you do miss your parents.”

Swift slapped his hand to his face, and wiped it down slowly. He intended to end this session, but not by walking out.

He took a very deep breath and said “You, sir, are an idiot. You are much like a twisted mystery of stupidity. A paragon and legend in your own time.”

Swift held up his hands for emphasis and continued “Bards sing songs in the streets of your epically soft mind, and every cretin, simpleton and imbecile looks to you with a twinkle of admiration in their eye. It is no secret, and is in fact locally, as well as nationally, known that you are a dunce.”

Swift put one hand down, and pinched the index and thumb of his other together.

“
Your tiny little brain is world renown, and tales of it's shortcomings are recorded in the language of every race and culture. Prophets foretold of the day on which you had an intelligent thought, and all have been proven wrong.”

Swift put his hand down, took a breath and went on “Google omits no less than five thousand similar results with the word moron when your name is searched. Your ignorance is imprinted on your very soul, so that even angels and demons will know to speak slowly and use simple words when talking to you. You are a buffoon of the highest magnitude, a fool and clown, and if you go to hell I hope that you are made to read books for all of eternity. Nincompoop. Dullard. You slack-jawed, knuckle dragging, silly minded dimwit. Choke forever on the thick miasma that is your own feeble-mindedness.”

When he was finished, Leoric was panting and both of the caregivers were howling with laughter. Bob on the other hand was blushing furiously.

“
That's...that's enough for today.” was all he said.

-
12
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Swift walked out of the visitor room with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. Maybe that was a bit overkill but it definitely felt good to vent, and he actually hadn't done so since he'd arrived. He took his bag off his shoulder and looked inside, breaking into a grin. Today was going to be a good day. He met Ollie in the cafeteria, which was deserted after lunch, and the two set about their epic battle. Midway through Swift regrouping his squadron for a final push a group of boys, four of them to be precise, walked in and approached them.

The tallest of the three, his blonde hair parted to the side atop a rather scrawny face, asked “Well what do we have here Dolly?”

To Swift he looked ghoulish, but no doubt considered himself the typical cool kid. He shot Ollie a wry grin and asked “They call you Dolly?”

He then addressed the ghoulish cool kid “That's so lame! Can't you give him a better nickname like 'Slash' or 'Gunner'?” he asked.

The ghoulish cool kid sneered and replied “A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

Swift stood up to face the ghoulish cool kid.

“
Ohhh...I see what this is all about. We hurt people's feelings now. Obviously that's what were doing. What's your name guy?” h

The ghoulish cool kid smirked and said “This one here to my left is Frankie DeSteffano. To my right is Marcus O'Keef and to his right that would be George Penn. I'm “Brian Maloney, but you'll call me Butch if you know what's good for you.”

Swift looked over Frankie, Marcus and George briefly, as their lanky builds posed no threat. He directed his eyes on Maloney and nodded “That's a kickin' rad name you've got there Baloney. I mean it's not like anyone dislikes eating baloney. It's practically the pauper of meats!”

Butch's smirk turned sour “Pauper?” he asked.

Swift held his hands out “Pauper. A bum ya know? A grimy, homeless person who smells and-”

Butch cut him off furiously “Shut up! I know what a bum is!”

This was pointless, however, as once Swift had started a thought, he was going to finish it or die trying.

Swift smiled foolishly and said “Oh no I don't doubt it. How could The Pauper of Meats not know what a bum is? Technically you're the authority on broke down bums, being one yourself. Bum.”

Butch growled “Ugh, you're annoying.”

Swift exclaimed with exaggerated surprise “Oh! He thinks he has an opinion! Ollie, Baloney thinks he's people!”

“
Wow. You think you're so funny don't you? I bet you'd get destroyed in a fight.” Butch said, but Swift ignored him and sat back down.

Swift didn't bother looking over his shoulder when he said “What do you want Baloney? If you're here to make friends let me tell you- that ship has already sailed. Into a whirlpool. Charybdis.”

“
What are you talking about, nerd? Anyway, I told you to call me Butch, and Dolly knows what I want.”

Butch walked around to Ollie's side of the table and asked “Don't you? Now say it.”

When Ollie didn't respond Butch sighed impatiently and said in a soft voice that was not at all gentle like the Snuggles bear “Say it now Dolly, or I'll get mad.”

Ollie locked his eyes on Swift and said “No.”

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13
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Butch's eyes flickered from Ollie to Swift and back again. He took a deep breath and screamed at Ollie as he smacked a model ship from the table and into the wall. Swift hopped up and went to gather the pieces of the now shattered ship. He cursed under his breath as he picked up each piece “This was my AP carry...” he muttered and asked “What. The. Heck? What is wrong with you?”

With Swift's back turned Butch signaled for Frankie to grab him. Ollie tried to warn him, but Butch put his hand over his mouth.

Oblivious, Swift carried on “Do you know how long it takes to build one of these? No. I bet you don't have any hobbies. Do you even lift?” he asked.

Frankie crept closer and closer. Just as he was about to pounce, Swift's fist shot out and struck him in the junk. Frankie squeaked and fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. Swift stood up and turned to see that Butch had pinned Ollie face down to the table and was holding a pocket knife against the back of his hand. Swift let the pieces fall back to the floor and balled his fists.

Frankie, who was still squirming on the floor, whimpered “Butch...help me...”

“
Shut up Frankie, you suck!” Butch shouted at him.

Swift made a move towards Butch, but Butch wasn't having it.

“
One more step and I'll mangle him!”

“
You'll mangle- You can't be serious.” Swift said with a dour look on his face, the lightheartedness from just a few moments ago having vanished.

“
Does this look like a big joke funny guy?” retorted Butch.

“
No, but you sure sound funny, clown-shoes. Are we really mangling people with knives in 20XX? Is that what's cool now?”

“
Real smart. Insult the guy with the knife.” Butch said.

Swift shrugged and said “This isn't a hostage situation because the threat of mangling Ollie offers you no protection. It only means the difference between me kicking your ass and me breaking you fingers one by one.”

“
Come at me bro!” Butch shouted.

“
There's nothing but space and opportunity between us. Drop the knife and we can see what's up. That is if you truly wish to walk the path of destruction.” Swift said and tightened his fists, every knuckle cracking “I can take you there with the quickness.”

“
Hmph!” Butch grunted triumphantly when Marcus and George grabbed hold of Swift. He lifted Ollie from the table and threw him down to the floor. This was exactly what Swift was waiting for. Once Ollie was clear of Butch, Swift wrenched his left arm free and shouted “It's clobbering time!”

Marcus, who had been holding his left arm, quickly became the target with a series of quick jabs alternating from his face to his chest. As he backed up, Swift moved forward, dragging George on his other arm with him. He turned to George and began to punch him in the head. After a few heavy hits and George let go and fell on the floor holding his head.

Swift rubbed one hand with the other and said “Jeez. You two follow this moron like sheep and look where it has gotten you. All beaten up on the floor feeling like crap.” He then pointed to the mess of snot and tears that was Frankie “Look at Frankie! Just look at his face!” he cried.

“
Help me...” Frankie whimpered again.

“
Ah... Frankie, you've got to breathe man. Try taking deep breaths with your stomach and relaxing completely. Tensing up only makes it hurt more.” Swift said.

Frankie took Swift's advice and began to feel better “Thanks.” he whispered.

Butch was furious. This zombie jerk had made him look like a fool! He crept forward, knife in hand, while Swift lectured the goon squad. He'd make him pay for this. It was time for the comedian to exit stage left. Ollie saw this and knew he had to act fast, so he sprang forward and grabbed Butch's ankle. This did not please Butch the slightest.

“
That's it Dolly. I'm gonna cut that pretty face of yours.” Butch said but a tapping on his shoulder put an immediate stop to his plan.

He spun around slashing, only to catch air. Swift had anticipated this and stepped back a split second before the blade could slice into him. Then he launched a lightning fast fist at Butch's mouth. The effect was like a meteor striking a greenhouse. The knife fell to the floor with a clatter as Butch's hands flew to his mouth, blood already trickling down his wrists. He looked at the mess of red with white specks in his hands and shrieked.

“
You know Baloney, I could become a dentist after this. I think I've got the extraction part down pat at least.” Swift said and shook his hand. He didn't get any cuts on his knuckles from Butch's teeth but dang. Punching that guy's mouth sure stung.

Butch fled with both Marcus and George, ditching Frankie, who was still laying on the floor. Swift went over to check on him. “Dude you gonna be okay?” Swift asked and held out a hand. Frankie took it and slowly got to his feet.

“
Yeah man...” he said and slowly walked towards the cafeteria door “Sorry.”

Swift waved his hand as if dismissing the matter and Frankie left. He turned his attention to Ollie now, who had gotten up and gathered the broken pieces of the model ship.

“
Thanks for saving my buns back there.” Swift said gratefully.

Ollie gave him a dubious look.

“
Really?” he asked and they both laughed.