Of Gods and Wolves (16 page)

I stumbled to my feet through a haze of pain and backed away. Blood started to gush. That was bad, I had to end this soon or I could bleed out. Great, no pressure or anything. Pressure! One of those damn useless buckles were actually going to come in handy. There happened to be one just above my wound and I quickly tightened it, hoping it would be enough of a tourniquet to keep me alive.

It hurt like hell but the pain had to be pushed aside, fought through, or I'd die even sooner. So I grit my teeth and continued to move. The victory magic helped but my leg still throbbed with every step. I ignored it and concentrated on Sif. I knew I had to get in close, even though my speed had just gone down a couple notches, and I wasn't sure I could manage it without taking more damage.

Sif had already healed by the time I went for her again. Come on! I mean seriously? I just couldn't catch a break. I needed to step things up or I'd be dead before I landed another blow. So I ran straight for her but then twisted to the left and clawed her wrist hard.

The snap of broken bone preceded the clang of her sword falling to the floor. Then all noise was swallowed by the cheering throng. Sif looked around her with open hatred before she bent to gather the sword and swing it at me left handed. I kicked her downward on top of her knee but my bare foot lacked the force I needed to break her kneecap. All it did was make her stumble.

She fell over me, trapping my hands between our chests. A wicked smile spread across her face as she leaned back slightly and turned her sword down so she could place the tip to my throat. I dug my claws into her chest but she just kept smiling. She was about to plunge it home when I heard Thor yell.

“
Sif, please!”

Her body jerked at the sound of his voice and the tip swung far enough left that it only cut the side of my throat, instead of skewering me. I used her surprise to roll out from under her. She was on her knees by the time I’d angled myself around her and I leaped onto her back, shoving her right back down.

I wound her braid around my hand and used it to pull her head up, exposing her throat. Before she could get her hands out from beneath her, I slit her throat with my claws, leaving four gushing, gaping wounds. I heard horrified gasps but I couldn’t stop. One of us was going to die tonight and I didn’t care who. As long as it wasn’t me.

I cut her again with the claws and blood spurted out of her lips but as I watched, the flesh began to fill in and heal. I cursed and got to my feet, using her hair to yank her over onto her back. I stomped on her hand till she released her sword and then planted my feet in a firm shoulder-width stance as I lifted the sword above my head.

“Vervain!” Thor cried and I looked up to see him staring at me in horror.

As I hesitated, Sif recovered enough to reach up and dig her fingers into my wounded thigh. I screamed and brought the blade down, falling onto my knees with it, the full force of my weight slicing her head cleanly away. It was done in an instant, part gut reaction and part gravity. There was no second guessing, no slow motion of self doubt. She hurt me and I lashed out as I fell. I couldn't have stopped the motion if I'd wanted to.

Her head didn't roll away with the force of the blow, just slid a couple of inches. Enough to know there was no recuperating for Sif. She wasn't getting up, and as I fell to my side, I wasn't sure if I'd be getting up either. The gods went wild, the wolves howled with delight. Then the pain rushed back in full force and I had a horrible feeling it was just the beginning of my agony. I may have just killed a lot more than Sif.

I lay there, inches from Sif's corpse, and watched as blood poured out of her neck, flowing around her head and soaking into her hair. Those cold eyes stared at me indifferently, warmer without the force of Sif's hatred to chill them.

I rolled onto my back, taking the pressure off my wound as I took away the sight of her dead face. But I carried Sif with me now and even when I closed my eyes, I still saw her severed head. Part of me gloried in the victory, but another part of me mourned. Sif's face wouldn't be the only one to haunt me. Thor's expression would be etched into my memory as well. The deep lines drawn beside his mouth as he shouted a denial. The pain flashing in his eyes. He had turned away from me and reached for Ull, clasping his stepson to him in shared grief. I’d just killed a woman Thor had once loved and Ull's mother, all in one fell swoop.

I didn’t think I'd had a choice but I wasn’t sure. Things get a bit hazy when you’re fighting for your life. Could I have backed out when I had her down? Would she have let me walk away? I’d never know and I’d always pay for that ignorance. I’d also revel in it. I’d won. A cruel part of me wrapped the conquest around itself like a cloak and whispered,
There can be only one
. I covered my face with my hands before the hysterical laughter poured out.

It was always jokes with me. Need to avoid confrontation? Make a joke. Need to block out pain? Make a joke. Need to deny the fact that you’re a cold-blooded killer? Three men walk into a bar: a priest, a rabbi, and a terrorist…

“Vervain,” Teharon's concerned face floated above me when I opened my eyes. Although I was thankful for his desperately needed attention, Thor's absence beside him confirmed my fears. It also hurt, much more than the wound in my thigh.

Teharon pulled my leg out straight and tore my makeshift tourniquet open to get at the gaping cut. My vision swam as he chanted over me and drew his hands across the bloody flesh. The dark ceiling blurred and I blinked rapidly to clear away my tears. The pain in my leg was easing but a new hurt was rapidly moving in a little higher up.

Can a Mohawk healer fix a broken heart? No wait, that was my job now. I had the love magic. By the power of Grayskull, I have the power! Kind of a redundant line but I think both She-Ra and He-Man had used it so someone must have thought it worked. I swallowed another demented giggle. I bet She-Ra never had these kind of man problems. Wait, did she have a man or was she a lesbian? No, I think that was Xena.

Don't judge me. I was in shock from blood loss.

By the time Teharon was done with my thigh and neck, I was surrounded by Froekn, who rubbed against me soothingly while they helped me to my feet. Their pride and relief surrounded me, a palpable energy coursing through the air like shivery static. I wrapped it around me, desperately needing some acceptance, some comfort. Fenrir came over as I was thanking Teharon for saving my life, yet
again
.

“
Daughter,” he boomed proudly. “You defended yourself with courage and brought honor to your pack. Tonight we feast to celebrate your victory!” He lifted me in the air and planted a kiss on my forehead before putting me down on my still shaky legs.

“
Thank you, Valdyr,” I was surprised to hear my voice ring out clearly. “May I always bring glory to the Froekn.”

The wolves clapped and howled as they reached out to stroke me with approval. Fenrir’s eyes shone and he kept a hand planted firmly on my shoulder.

Trevor eased up to my other side and rubbed his cheek against my face before taking my waist in both hands and kissing me lightly. His forehead touched mine. “I’m so sorry, Vervain,” he whispered. “I had no idea Loki would do this.”

“
It’s not your fault,” I touched the side of his face gently. “Just be a little more wary of him in the future.”

“
Yes, Minn Elska,” he smiled sadly at me and rubbed his nose along my cheek.

“
Vervain,” Persephone pulled me away from Trevor to look over me quickly and then pull me into a hug. “I'm so glad you're okay!”

“
Thanks, Sephy,” a little of my anxiety eased. At least she hadn't deserted me.

“
I'm glad you killed that bitch,” she whispered harshly. “I'm sorry for Ull but Thor shouldn't have tried to stop you. I mean, pick a side already.”

“
He left, didn't he?” I pulled away to look in her face.

Surprisingly, it was Hades who answered gently, “He needs some time.”

My body became a steel shell, my heart flash frozen like a ripe berry. It was free falling through my emptiness, rapidly approaching the bottom. When it hit, would it shatter into shards, ripping me to shreds like a landmine? Or would it simply crack and ooze, lying there to rot and poison me from the inside out?

“
He took Ull home with Sif’s body. They’ll burn her, as is their way.” Brahma met my gaze with sympathy before reaching out to pull me into a quick hug. “Horus and the Natives went with them but they're all glad you're alive. As I am. Thor will come around.”

“
We love you, V,” Pan took my hand and kissed my cheek. “Just let Thor go for now. I know he loves you too.”

“
He doesn't deserve you,” Finn added, touching my cheek.

I took a shaking breath and Trevor pulled me away from my friends, easing me against his chest and rubbing my back. “I will always be here,” he whispered. “No matter what happens, I’ll stand with you. I’ll love you till you take your last breath and then I’ll follow you into the light.”

It was exactly what I needed to hear… from Thor. I clenched my teeth against the pain as my heart crashed and shattered, shooting out shrapnel into my vulnerable soul. Well, at least it wouldn't rot. I hated smelling bad.

“
It’s time to go home, Rouva.” Fenrir’s big hand enveloped my shoulder as his deep voice vibrated through me. There was a tone to his voice, not just sympathy, but understanding.

Fenrir knew rejection better than anyone. Every woman he'd ever loved had left him. Beginning with his mother. One of the reasons I admired him so much was that he hadn't continued the cycle. When his women had bore his children and then abandoned the “monsters” upon their first shift, he cared for them. He gave them the love he never had and kept them as safe as he could. He built a life for them, clawing his way out of the dark hole he'd been thrown into, and fought for them as I knew he would now fight for me.

Having him standing beside me made Thor's rejection a lot easier to bear.

“
You’re leaving so soon?” Loki’s voice made me clench Trevor's shirt in my fists. I dearly wished it was Loki's throat but I was still too weak to fight him. I might have to pay him a special surprise visit, say in the middle of the night when he was sleeping.

“
We’re taking Vervain home with us,” Fenrir glared down at his father.

“
Yes, I heard,” Loki smiled at me like I’d just finished a perfectly performed piano sonata. “Well done, Godhunter. I shall come by shortly to join the festivities, after my guests leave.”

“
No,” Fenrir continued to glare and Loki continued to smile.

“
What do you mean,
no
?”

“
You’re no longer welcome in my hall.” Fenrir’s voice echoed a little and people stopped to stare.

“
Why would I be unwelcome?” Loki finally started to lose his grin.

“
You’ve betrayed me for the last time, Loki,” the impersonal use of his father's name triggered a round of startled gasps. “Your games are evil and you almost killed not only my new daughter but my first born as well.”

“
She was going to win,” Loki scoffed. “I merely helped her get a chance at Sif before the bitch could come upon her and take her by surprise. I gave Vervain a better chance of survival.”

“
You’ve lied to me enough and I’m done listening,” Fenrir motioned with his hand and the Froekn gathered around us to form an honor guard and escort us from the hall. “My wards will no longer let you pass and if you try to approach Vervain again, I'll kill you myself.”

I picked up my things, clutching my white dress and purse as I walked, huddled in Trevor’s embrace, and let my Froekn family take me home with a few of my god friends tagging along.

I celebrated with the wolves and I loved every minute of it. At least every minute I wasn’t thinking about Thor. So out of six hours, I guess I enjoyed about three minutes total.

Fenrir was even happier than the night of my trial. Standing up to his father had lifted a huge weight from his shoulders and I had a sneaking suspicion he thought Thor’s departure was kismet and we’d now be one big, happy, furry, family.

Trevor stuck beside me all night and the little part of him inside me even tried to rise up and comfort me from within. My Nahual didn't try to comfort me. Since she technically
was
me I guess it made sense that she wouldn't try to but her continued wariness pricked at me beneath the skin and I could see her eyes every time I closed my own. They were resigned and sad.

I smiled and let the wolves take care of me but I knew at the end of the evening, I’d have to go back to Bilskinir. Thor had left, fine, but he hadn’t told me we were through and I wouldn’t go slinking away before he did. I hadn't done anything wrong. Besides, he had my cat.

So at the end of the night, I kissed Trevor on the cheek and returned to Bilskinir. Fenrir had frowned at me until I promised to return soon. He just couldn’t see why I wouldn’t spend the night there with Trevor “where I belonged” but I told him I had my own home and I had things to consider before I moved in with Trevor. Trevor snickered, knowing I was full of it, but it seemed to satisfy Fenrir a little.

What remained of the God Squad was opposed to me confronting Thor so soon but I told them that if Thor wasn't fully on Team Vervain by the time I got to Bilskinir, then I didn't want him anymore. I needed a man who was gonna stand beside me no matter what happened. I had thought that man was Thor, he'd told me so himself, but if it wasn't him, I wanted to know right away. I deserved to know right away.

In fact, the more I thought about it, the angrier I became at Thor. He should never have left me like that. I could understand him being upset but you don't just walk out on someone you love when they're mortally wounded. Even if you know they're about to be healed.

I hadn't expected him to be happy. He could have stuck around and yelled at me and it still would have been better than leaving. Walking out was a pussy move and I wasn't going to stand for that crap.

By the time I got to Fenrir's tracing room, I was a lot more pissed off than I was hurt.