Of Gaea (30 page)

T
he
house was silent and
asleep when Ari crept out later. Dinner had been
boisterous fun like always and she had easily told the men what she
had been up to. At the moment though, as the men slept and the moon
grew small in the sky, she wasn’t interested in the past. She was
interested in the future.

Ari left Sasha’s house and returned to her own.
When she stepped
inside, it felt empty. Which was wrong; all the furniture still sat
in familiar places. Even without Ghita telling her, Ari knew she
was gone.

Out of habit Ari walked through and turned all the lights
on.
It
didn’t change that feeling of emptiness. There were items missing,
familiar signs she knew her aunt for, that were gone.

Some of the pictures that had hung on the walls were gone
but new pictures replaced them.
Pictures Ari had never seen before of
family and events she had no knowledge of. Jewelry that would have
been removed and discarded into the bowl on the sidebar was
gone.

When she walked into what should have been Ghita’s room her
emotions were conflicted.
There was no indication that anyone had ever lived
there. A computer desk rested under the window that faced the
front, and a laptop hummed quietly on its surface. Along the
adjacent wall shelves had been built and all the trophies Ari had
ever won were neatly displayed. All her ribbons from before she won
trophies were on the smaller wall with the door. What should have
been Ghita’s room was nothing more than a trophy room.

The fact that Ghita had gone through the trouble to set it
up made her happy and yet sad at the same time.
She wasn’t here to share it.
She wasn’t there to bitch about how much work it had been. Silently
Ari left the room and closed the door behind her.

She sat heavily in her usual chair at the kitchen table.
The shoebox with her name on it was ignored for a moment as she let
the finality of Ghita’s actions wash through and over
her.

Fear was the strongest emotion throughout her inner
turmoil.
Fear of what’s next left a copper taste in her mouth and
sweaty palms in her lap. The shoebox mocked her.

A line from a book she had read once popped into her mind,
“
Fear is the
mind-killer
.” It was true. Inhale, exhale. When she felt she was
ready, Ari reached for the box and lifted the lid.

The first thing on top was a manila envelope.
Ari opened it and
poured the contents out on the table. A Virginia driver’s license,
social security card, passport, a Greek ID, various bank cards, a
check book, a set of keys and another envelope spilled across the
table. She didn’t recognize the IDs; she knew she had never applied
for them.

Ari picked up the envelope and opened it.
A letter was neatly
folded inside with yet another sealed envelope. The new envelope
was wrapped with a red ribbon. Before she opened it she looked at
the letter that it was wrapped in.

From your mother. She
already had the envelope sealed and tied when she handed it to me.
I love her enough not to intrude. We love you. ~Ghita

Puzzled,
Ari examined the sealed envelope more carefully.
There was nothing odd about it. The ribbon
had been tied into an elaborate knot that she hated to untie. She
would not be able to retie it later. Carefully she undid the ribbon
and pulled out the letter.

To my Beloved,

I will not apologize
as I am sure you’ve heard enough of it to last a lifetime. My lucid
moments are becoming further and further apart and before I lose
what remains of my consciousness I write this.

Ghita fears, and
rightly so, but I have seen things she has not. Things Gaea had
shown me before Ghita destroyed the precarious foundation. Death is
not an ending and the choice you will have to make will result in
mine. I have seen it.

Do not be sad for
this. I pray that it is so. Already the hell that I have endured is
tiring. It’s tiring to fight into self-awareness every day. There
will be a day I cannot, when the fatigue is too great to bother
trying and I know this too.

Trust in Gaea. I
cannot emphasize that enough. Trust the Mother. We are of her, but
we are her and we are ourselves. This may confuse you now, but when
your choice comes you will understand. I promise.

Live, my most
precious. Live and love and learn. Be free as I can never be again
and as Ghita never was. In freedom, you will find all the
answers.

Already it is a strain
to maintain my rational thoughts in such a short letter. I will
seal this away and give it to Ghita, who will no doubt hold on to
it until the last possible moment. I love my sister, she is my
other half, but she can sometimes be so blind to the truth that it
clouds her judgment. I pray you have the courage to do what I did
not have the strength for. You must do what we could not or all
will be lost. There will be no such thing as joy, peace, or love in
a world in which you have failed.

Know that my soul
still holds faith to Gaea, even as I am wracked with pain and
delusions from the Tainted.

My love is
eternal,

Mommy

Ari sniffled and fought back tears.
Lyris was so strong, so brave
to be able to write those words knowing what they meant. It left
Ari to wonder, could those that have been Tainted or Purified (she
guessed was the term) come back from that poisoning? Was there a
way to save her mother that didn’t result in death? Lyris had said
she saw her own death, so maybe not, but what if Ari
could?

The rest of the shoe box was pictures from various points
in her life, report cards from her younger years, and surprisingly
other letters that were never opened. When Ari looked at the
postage and return address they came from Greece in care of
Kleisthenes for her. Some of the names she recognized as people
Kleisthenes had pointed out in the photos that were in her room at
his house. Other names weren’t familiar at all. Ari sorted them
into date order.

At the very bottom of the shoe box bank statements were
carefully grouped under the letters that she assumed were connected
to the bank cards by the matching logos.
She set those aside for later and
began sifting through the letters and reading.

About half way through, Ari got up to get paper, pens, and
envelopes. Apparently she was predictable because she found
everything she needed including a huge stack of international
envelopes and stamps in the closet of the trophy room. Ari set
everything up on the table, brewed some tea, made a plate of
cookies, and then went back to the letters.

There were consistent ones that drew her attention
immediately. A letter arrived without fail every Friday from an
Envoy named Miera for the last thirteen years. She was full of
information and rambling, and was just plain friendly. She spoke of
outings with Thalia and Leonidas. In her letters he didn’t sound as
much of an ass as he had portrayed. Her thoughts and fears were in
there as well. Of things that had been happening that they had
never seen before. She never asked for guidance or wisdom. She
simply wrote. She wrote religiously even without a return letter.
Ari had to write her back.

Others were not as frequent; her grandmother’s letters
arrived every year on her birthday, with a small envelope sized
gift enclosed.
Ari had received gifts from plants seeds that were
“special” according to Grandmother’s words, to jewelry.

Another group of letters came from the merchants’ guild
once a year for the last four years demanding Gaea’s blessing on
several ventures. There were a few from random people that
identified themselves as Guild Masters and demanded Gaea’s
obedience on several matters. Those were going to get a letter back
as well, though not, what they had hoped for.

When the sun peaked over the trees and through the dining
room windows, Ari traded her tea for coffee and gathered up her
letters.
Every single one of them was done and she had over eighty
dollars of postage that needed to go down to the post
office.

She had also reviewed the bank statements, but that had
only left her with questions she knew Kleisthenes was not yet awake
to answer.
There were monthly deposits that if were correct would mean
that Ari was filthy rich. Since she knew she obviously wasn’t, she
wanted Kleisthenes to go over the papers with her.

Ari felt no fatigue, even with only five hours of sleep, so
she showered and dressed for the day.
Her letters went into a messenger
bag, keys went into one of the pockets of her jeans and she dropped
the IDs, bank cards and credit cards into a zipper pocket of the
messenger bag. She wouldn’t use them until she talked to
Kleisthenes but it would be wise to have them just in case. As an
afterthought Ari wrapped up the bank statements and dropped them in
the bag as well. The cell phone Kleisthenes had given her was over
at his house. She would just go without.

Ari planned her day as she left the house and began to
walk.
She
should have left a note or something for Sasha, but that thought
didn’t come to mind until she was already down the block and around
the corner. She needed to go by the post office and make sure her
letters were sent, and go by the school and see about graduating
early. She had to get her affairs in order, and if she truly was
going to die next week, Ari wanted a will written out leaving
everything of hers to Sasha. He was the only one she could trust to
take care of it all.

“You’re thinking too loudly again.”
He murmured quietly.

Ari glanced over surprised.
She had been so lost in thought she hadn’t
noticed his appearance. She smiled. “Really?”

“You don’t have to take this on all alone.” His hand
reached out and encompassed hers. “When Ghita took you away I
didn’t leave my room for days. I saw no point in it. Then when I
started dying, I couldn’t leave my room. Da pulled me out of school
and I have my papers already, since we’re going in this direction I
assume you’re going back to class? I can’t go with you.”

“No. I’m not going back. I need to make arrangements to get
my diploma.” Ari squeezed his hand. “Will you come in with
me?”

“If that’s
what you want.”

“Actually. We can kill two birds with one stone and then
spend the rest of the day doing something fun.” Ari let him go to
open the bag and pull out her letters. “These need to get mailed.
They’re all set to go.”

He took the stack and Ari watched his eyes scan the
addresses on a few. His smile was a beacon on a dark night. “I’ll
go down to the post office then. You go in there. Wait for me here,
yes?”

Ari returned his smile. “Yes. Right back at this spot.” She
had to tip toe up to brush a soft peck over his cheek bone. “For
luck.”

Ari didn’t look back to see if he stood there waiting for
her to walk onto school property and into the building. She knew he
would. He wouldn’t walk away until she was safely
inside.

It was strange being in the school.
Students bustled from lockers
to classrooms; cliques gathered in groups to chit chat. Ari felt
like she was watching through a window. This wasn’t who she was
anymore. Even if she wanted to, there was no way she could return
to this.

When students stopped and stared, Ari ignored it.
She had learned
enough over the last few weeks to blow off the little stuff. They
couldn’t hurt her; it was like the mouse and the owl. Their
pettiness couldn’t touch her any longer.

By the time first bell rang, Ari was seated in Principal
Rattray’s office.
She had never been in his office; had never warranted any
action for it. Ari studied the walls while she waited and was
disappointed to find out he was a boring, not very imaginative
man.

“Miss Dounias, this is a pleasant surprise.”
He glanced around
nervously. “Where is your mother?”

“If we’re talking biological; my mother is currently
institutionalized in a mental hospital in Darentown. If we’re
talking the woman who has posed as my mother for the last fifteen
years then she is away, and has not provided me with a location or
when she will be returning. But I’m not here to discuss my family.
I’m here to discuss my diploma.”

His brows drew together and his fingers interlocked with
each other. Ari could see the sweat beading on his face. “That’s
something I should be discussing with your mother.”

“I am eighteen next week.” Ari waved away his comment. “Let
me make this easy on you. Pull my records, please. I’ll
wait.”

His face darkened. “You’re hardly in a place to give me
orders, young lady.”

Ari tilted her head curiously. “I would rather not bring
Kleisthenes into this. However, since my aunt is AWOL and my mother
unable to make decisions, he is my legal guardian. Would you like
that?”

His knuckles whitened. “What is it is you want?”

“My diploma. I’ve had all the credits for it since my
sophomore year. Just clear it with my sorely lacking guidance
counselor and give me the paper. That’s all I need. To keep from
making scenes or what not, I’ll take academic leave for the rest of
the year. You won’t see me again within the school.”