Of Being Yours[another way 2] (21 page)

“And my reaction to the accident,” he said softly.

“Exactly,” she agreed. “The accident was the ultimate destruction of your control. More than that, it was something that caused physical and mental pain for both you and your lover.

“Most people who identify as a dominant, or a Master or Mistress, will freely admit that they take pleasure in taking that control away from another person. That can be in the form of physical restraints—which I understand you are particularly apt and creative at doing—or the mental cages we can put people in through the application of pain.

“The thing is, Will,” she said, leaning toward us now, “that need for control can be a cage in itself. It is something that can limit you as much as it frees you.”

“I get that now,” he said. “I do. Really. I never really analyzed myself before. I was just a kinky bastard and left it at that.”

“Aren’t we all,” I said affectionately.

“As for the two of you together,” Dr. Smith said, causing both Will and I to groan. “I don’t have enough time to go through it all. Your dynamic is fascinating to me, I could go on about it for days. But let me just say this—what will get you through the rest of your lives together will be a balance between the different aspects of your relationship. From getting to know you both further, I am willing to guess that if the accident hadn’t happened, within the next year, something else would have pushed you into this standoff of sorts.

“Although on the surface your relationship was flourishing, there was no challenge left in it for either of you, and therein lies the key to you two making it together for the next twenty years—or for the rest of your lives. Do not let the world pass you by. Keep pushing each other.”

“Maybe if you’d told us this a few months ago, we could have all saved ourselves a lot of time,” I said.

“No.” She shook her head. “My job isn’t to tell you everything, it’s to guide you down a path so that you may find things out for yourselves. In most instances being told something will never have the same weight as a something that you learn about yourself through your own experiences.”

My mind flashed back to all the little things that Dr. Smith had nudged us into doing. She was right. Of course she was right, she was our shrink. That was her job.

“Other times,” she added with a knowing smile, “it never hurts to have it spelled out.”

Will laughed and, to my surprise, I felt his hand slide into mine and squeeze.

“That’s us done for today,” Dr. Smith said. “I’ll see you next week.”

I couldn’t help but wonder how long the relationship therapy would continue. Neither of us could deny how vital it had been in fixing things between us, but I wanted to be able to stride out on my own again without the support system that Dr. Smith gave us propping us up.

The air outside was light and fresh and the sun bright enough for me to reach for my sunglasses.

One of the things Dr. Smith had asked us both to work on was finding things to do to have fun together. In some ways that was easy. We had been together long enough to know each other’s likes and dislikes, and, of course, our pastimes had dovetailed as part of the natural progression of our relationship. This too, though, was part of our downfall. Even in a city like Seattle, it was hard to keep coming up with new things to do together.

“Do you have any plans?” I asked him.

“Nope.”

“There’s a new exhibition that’s just opened at the Seattle Art Museum. I know it’s a bit out of the way, but one of the guys I worked with went down there last weekend, and it’s supposed to be really good.”

“That sounds pretty great, actually.”

When he reached for my hand, I made no move to stop him.

For some reason, after the past twenty-four hours, there was nothing in the whole world I’d rather do than walk down the street with my hand in his.

Chapter 15

“
T
ICKETS
?”

“Yes,” I said.

“ID?”

“Yes.”

“Suits.”

“We’re picking them up when we get there. I had them delivered to my mama’s house.”

“Okay.”

We stood at the front door, two bags at our feet, trying to figure out what it was that we’d forgotten. Because you could be sure that we would forget something, it just remained to be seen how important that something was.

“Wedding present?” I asked.

“Bought from the registry,” Will said. “It’ll be delivered on the day.”

“Shoes?”

“Shoes…,” he repeated, frowning. “Fuck! Shoes!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as Will flicked me the finger and took the stairs two at a time to grab dress shoes from the closet. While I waited I checked my own bag, pleased to see that my own shoes were packed neatly, stuffed with socks so they wouldn’t lose their shape.

“Come on,” I told him as he stuffed his own shoes into his bag, and swung my own up onto my shoulder. “Or we’ll miss our flight.”

My cousin Nicole’s wedding was going to be on a Saturday, and we’d arranged to fly down to my hometown on the Thursday night before, after both Will and I had finished work. My mother had offered to let us stay with her, but due to the sheer number of family members that were congregating in her house, we had decided to stay in a hotel. At least we got to share a bed that way.

Due to the flight times, we didn’t arrive into Atlanta until late. Fortunately my sister had offered to pick us up from the airport and drive us over to the hotel. Growing up, Jennifer and I weren’t the closest of friends. She was a few years younger than me, and we’d fought as children and grown apart as teenagers. By the time my family moved back South, we barely spoke, only because we had nothing in common.

“She looks so much like you,” Will murmured in my ear as we walked through the airport, restless and uncomfortable from the flight.

I elbowed him in the ribs in thanks. Not that I could really argue. Jennifer had blonde hair, like me, and a similar complexion, although hers was darkened from the sun. She was wearing flip-flops and a simple black tank and jeans that showed off her figure and made me want to throw my sweater at her. She was my sister, after all.

“Hi, Jen,” I said, hugging her lightly before pulling away. “How are you?”

“Not bad,” she said. “Hey, Will.”

Jennifer was in college, training to be a vet, and living at home to try to save money. I knew Daddy had bought her a car when she turned twenty-one, but wasn’t expecting the shiny black Jeep she showed us. It took all of my self-restraint not to make some dig about how she was the favorite, and I just loaded our bags into the trunk, too tired to start an argument.

“How’s school?” I asked as she pulled out of the airport.

“Good,” she said, nodding. “I assisted on an operation this week, my first one. It was only a simple procedure, but….”

“That’s good,” I agreed. “Should I ask about wedding stuff?”

“Not to Mama,” she said, shooting me a warning glance. “I don’t know why, but she and Aunt Cecelia are going crazy at the moment. Nicole spends half her time in my room crying that she doesn’t want a wedding anymore, that she’s going to run away to Vegas and do it instead.”

“Clever girl,” Will said from the backseat.

“Don’t you start,” she warned him. “Daddy made a comment like that and he’s still hearing about it now.”

“But the wedding’s going ahead, right?”

“When I left the house it was,” Jennifer said, signaling to turn onto the Interstate. “But I’m not making any promises.”

By the time Jennifer dropped us off at the hotel and we checked in, it was past midnight… but of course we’d crossed to the East Coast, so it was actually two in the morning here. I used the last of my energy to strip off my clothes and crawl into bed.

“Nice hotel,” Will murmured as he joined me.

“Mm,” I agreed. “Gym. Pool. Breakfast closes at ten.”

“Did you set your alarm?”

“Mhmm.”

Will grabbed my arm and rolled away from me, securing my body close to his from behind. I kissed his tricep, the curve of his shoulder, down to the back of his neck…. I sighed deeply and let sleep take me.

I
WOKE
the following morning to an empty bed and warming sunlight coming in through the open window. Groaning, I rolled over to seek out Will’s warmth and cracked an eye open to discover he’d left me a note.

I’m in the gym (where you should be too, to work off the breakfast we’re about to eat). I can’t believe you’re still asleep. You’re wasting the best part of the day. Get out of bed before I find some twink to blow me in the steam room.

Stretching, I smiled sleepily and dragged myself out of bed. It was only a little past nine in the morning; it wasn’t as though I’d slept in till midday. There wasn’t time for me to do any more than take a shower and dress before breakfast closed.

We were both still trying to build our strength up again from when we’d been hurt. My rehab had taken less time than Will’s; I knew he still had trouble with his leg and his ankle, although my ribs had long since healed. It was going to take a long time for him to be completely healthy again, but regular workouts were helping him get the strength back in his muscles. He wanted to run a marathon next year.

I managed to run into Will in the hotel lobby as he came through from the direction of the gym and the pool. His hair was still a bit wet, and he had his sports bag slung over his shoulder. He smiled and put his hand on my back for a moment in a sort of half hug, then let me lead the way through to the dining room.

I could tell from the soft haze that was already lifting from the ground outside that it was going to be a hot day—more than hot, a sweating, burning sort of day if we weren’t careful. It was a stark contrast to the early April rain we’d left behind in Seattle.

“Pancakes, please,” Will said to our server, distracting me from my thoughts. “Do you have blueberry?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Make that two,” I said to her, and she nodded, took our coffee order, and slipped off. “It’s going to be hot today.”

Will made a face. “Do we have plans?”

“Dinner tonight with my parents. And don’t look at me like that. It’ll be fine.”

“Your mother hates me.”

“My mother hates me too.”

He laughed and fiddled with his napkin. “Does the rest of your family hate me?”

I reached over and removed the square of linen from his hands, then caught hold of his fingers. Looking straight into his pretty eyes, I tilted my head to the side and said, “Probably.”

“Oh God.”

“Will, nothing they say or do could change what we have. I suppose there’s always room for us to bond more over their inevitable hideousness, but I’m prepared for that.”

“Okay.” He nodded. I let his hands go as the waitress returned with coffee, and sat back in my chair.

We were lucky enough to be able to spend most of the day chilling out by the poolside bar, occasionally swimming or horsing around with each other. With nowhere to go and nothing to do, we enjoyed the chance to be around each other away from home.

When the sun started to slip lower in the sky, I dragged my unwilling boyfriend back up to our room to change into something more respectable to go to my parents’ for dinner. The air was still thick and muggy, and the last thing I wanted was to wear jeans; instead I found a pair of Will’s loose khakis and wore them with a plain white T-shirt.

“You look nice,” Will said as I emerged from the bathroom.

“Do you mind?” I asked. The pants fit me more snugly than when he wore them; my waist was bigger, though only by a few inches.

“Not at all.”

Jennifer had offered to pick us up again from the hotel. I wondered, as we sat out front waiting for her, if we should have hired a car at the airport. I missed my car—it had been my baby—and the freedom that came with having my own vehicle. This visit was to be a short one, though, and we couldn’t really justify the expense of a car, especially when we had multiple family members who were willing to ship us around.