October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1) (3 page)

When their mother died tragically five years ago, Tabby had been twelve, Tate fourteen, Danae seventeen, Drew twenty, and herself twenty-two.  And her world had stopped.  Her mother was her best friend.  They had gotten along so well during her teen and college years, it was almost weird.  Watching mothers and daughters fight had baffled her until she became like a surrogate mother to Danae during the two years following their mother’s death.  Of the five of them, Grace was certain Danae had taken it the hardest.  It hadn’t been a good time to lose her mother.  Not that there was ever a good time, but at seventeen and beginning her first serious relationship with a boy, it had not been a good time.

Tabitha had been much easier, thus far anyway.  When Tabby started dating Ryan two months ago, Grace had a bad feeling come over her in light of what she’d been through with Danae.  But Tabitha seemed to be handling her first dating experience fine.  Ryan was sweet and perfect for her.  She had no doubt they were falling in love and hoped things didn’t turn sour somewhere along the way.  She was as much of a romantic as the next girl, but when her sister had been fooled into believing she was more than the object of a teenage boy’s raging hormones, she wished the whole idea of love had never existed.

Danae was doing better now, and they were closer than ever as sisters.  Danae would be graduating from Lifegate Christian College next spring and hopefully marrying her college sweetheart next summer.  They weren’t officially engaged, but John was one of those stable guys who wouldn’t date a girl for two years and give her every reason to believe he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her if he didn’t, at least she hoped he wasn’t.  Danae had been through enough.

Grace had her share of sleepless nights over her sisters.  She would often lie awake in bed, talking to her mother and asking her for advice.  She had totally blown it with Danae during that first year.  Danae had needed her to be her friend and big sister, not her mother.  But being five years apart, they hadn’t been super-close growing up, and she had been away at college since Danae was thirteen.

Following graduation, two months after her mother passed away, Grace had moved back home, found a teaching job at a local middle school, and tried to step into her mother’s shoes, but her small feet were not nearly big enough.  She didn’t think anyone’s could have been big enough, but still, she wished she had done better.

“You going to lunch?”

Grace looked up from her phone to see Abbie standing in the doorway of her classroom.  “Yeah,” she said, turning to take her lunch out of the bottom drawer.  Leaving the room with Abbie, she fell into a normal conversation with her friend like most days at this time.  Abbie taught Language Arts, and they had both worked here for the same amount of time: this was their sixth year.

“So your dad left this morning?” Abbie asked.  “Are you surprised?”

“Not really.  He doesn’t usually say he’s going to do something and then back out.”

“Did you decide about the concert this Friday?” Abbie and her boyfriend were going to one in Monterey, and they had an extra ticket.  Abbie had asked her about it last week, but she hadn’t been sure of her dad’s plans.  He had been debating about only going for the conference in Des Moines or spending a couple of extra days with her grandparents at The Farm.

“My dad isn’t coming home until Saturday.  I should go to the game.”

“It’s not like you haven’t seen Tabby cheer before.  You and your dad go every week.”

“Sorry, I can’t.  I don’t know what Tabby’s plans are afterwards.  She might need a ride home.”

“Not if she gets her driver’s license this afternoon.”

“Then I really want to be home,” Grace laughed.  “I’m sorry, I have to be a mom this week.”

Abbie didn’t say it, but Grace knew she was thinking it.  ‘You’re not her mom, Grace.  You’re her sister.’  Others didn’t understand, but she had to do it this way.  She didn’t know how to do anything else.

***

It was four o’clock when Sarah checked in at the front desk of the hotel, and she didn’t have anything to do until dinnertime.  The conference had officially started this morning, but Linda and George weren’t getting here from Oklahoma until this afternoon, and she wasn’t going to walk into the church and register without anyone at her side.

They planned to meet there at six, and dinner would be served at six-thirty.  Taking the glass elevator overlooking the hotel‘s central atrium to the fourth floor, Sarah felt embarrassed she had chosen such a fancy place.  She hadn’t thought about the cost when she made the reservations because she was used to them paying that amount for the flight and a three-night stay, but she forgot she was only purchasing one plane ticket instead of two.  On the way to her room she tried to determine what the nightly rate of this place must be, but her mind was mush.  She had no idea why she was here.

Once inside the confines of her room, she laid down on the bed and had a good cry.  When she left the house this morning, she felt strong and determined to have a good week, but now she wanted to go home.  It was ridiculous for her to be here, not to mention incredibly hard.  She had never traveled without Levi before.  Nothing felt right.

At five o’clock she decided to get up and make herself presentable.  Dinner on the first night was always fancy, so she needed to change and redo her face and hair after an hour of grieving.  She missed Levi and knew she would be hearing a lot of sympathetic words tonight from those who had known him, but she didn’t want to look like a wreck.  She didn’t want to pretend she was perfectly fine either, but it had been three months since his death, not three weeks, and she knew her life was going to go on.

Taking a shower and drying her medium brown hair that was going grayer and grayer by the day, Sarah put on her favorite dress, the coral one that went with her brown eyes so well, Levi had told her.  It had been her favorite ever since.  The women at church were probably sick of seeing her in it and wondering if she was too strapped for money to afford more clothes, but here no one knew how often she had been wearing it these last three months.  She could probably wear it every night and no one would know the difference.

She didn’t want to arrive before Linda and George, so she purposely dawdled and then went down to the front desk to see if they could tell her where the church was from here.  The Holiday Inn was within walking distance, and she and Levi had always strolled back and forth several times a day, but she didn’t know if this hotel was that close.

It wasn’t, and the clerk suggested she take a cab.  He called one for her, and she went outside to wait, but she felt stupid for not thinking of that when she made the reservations.  She had been planning to attend one session each day, either in the morning or the afternoon, have dinner at the conference, and attend the evening meeting.  She had done that in the past when Levi was teaching, but taking a taxi back and forth would get expensive, and she didn’t want to stay at the church all day.

She breathed a little sigh of relief when she saw Linda and George waiting for her outside the main entrance of the large church.  It was good to see some familiar faces, and Linda was one of her closest friends.  They only saw each other once or twice a year, but as a pastor’s wife it was often difficult to get close to women in her own church.  Sarah loved the women dearly, even those who were sometimes overbearing or full of complaints, but forming close friendships with them didn’t come easily.  Levi had always been her best friend, and that had been enough for her.  But with him gone, the void in her heart was very large.

“You made it,” Linda said, giving her a warm and heartfelt hug.  “I’m so glad.”

“I’m not sure if I am yet,” she replied honestly, but she managed to give a little smile.

“You’re with us, Sarah.  We won’t abandon you, I promise.  Even if you just want to go shopping the whole time we’re here, I’ll go with you.”

Tears stung Sarah’s eyes, knowing Linda meant her words.  She needed others to understand how difficult this was for her and were willing to do something about it.  “I might take you up on that.”

***

Grace saw Tabitha waiting in front of the high school when she pulled into the bus-loading area.  The busses had already left, and Grace stopped along the yellow curb.  Tabby opened the passenger door and got inside, seeming her usual happy self.  Tabby was one of those people who was rarely in a bad mood.  Full of energy and smiles and genuine joy--that was her baby sister.

“Are you nervous?” Grace asked.

“Yes!  I can’t believe I might be getting my license today,” she squealed.  “I’ve been waiting so long, but now that it’s here, I can’t believe it!”

Tabitha was a good driver, and Grace knew she would likely pass unless she made a major mistake.  Tabby didn’t like leaving cheerleading practice early, but they only did driver’s tests at the local DMV on weekdays from nine to four, so it couldn’t be helped.  Tabitha was the head cheerleader this year, and she took her role and responsibilities seriously.  She didn’t like letting the other girls down.

“How’s Ryan?” Grace asked.

“He wasn’t at school today.  He’s super-sick.  I hope I don’t get it.”

“Did you kiss him yesterday?”

“Yes,” she said but didn’t sound too sorry about it.  “I guess that’s the price of being in love.”

“In love!” she teased her.  “You’ve only been dating him for two months, Tabitha Kristen Morgan!”

Tabby made no apologies.  “I was in love with him before we started dating.  He’s the one for me, Gracie.  I know it.”

“That’s great, Tabby,” she said seriously.  “And I knew that.  I’m just teasing you.”

“Did Dad make it to Iowa yet?” she asked.  “Have you heard from him?”

“No, not yet.  He said he would call tonight.”

“Do you think I could call him now?” Tabby asked.  “Will his phone work there?”

“It should, unless he’s still on the plane,” Grace said, seeing Tabby take her phone out of her backpack.  Tabitha placed the call, and Daddy answered.  They talked for a minute with Grace listening to Tabby’s end of the conversation.

“Will you pray for me?” Tabby asked.

Grace saw Tabitha close her eyes, and she knew Daddy was praying for her over the phone.  It was one of their things.  Ever since Mom had been gone, he often told them to call him whenever they needed that, and if they were facing some kind of crisis, challenge, or were having a difficult day, he would pray for them, and Grace knew how valuable that often was.

She pulled into the DMV parking lot and found an open space as Tabitha spoke once again.

“Thanks, Daddy.  Grace is here.  Do you want to talk to her?--Okay.  I love you too.  Have fun.”

Tabby passed the phone to her, and Grace said hello.  He didn’t keep her long but he said he’d made it fine and was on his way from the airport to the hotel.

“I hope you have a nice time, Dad.  Relax.  You deserve it.”

“I’ll try and do that,” he said.  “I have a good feeling about being here. I think God has some good things in store.”

“Will you call tonight?”

“Yes.  Probably around eight your time.”

“Okay, bye.  Have fun.”

“I will.  I love you, Gracie.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

Chapter Three

Of all the benefits of coming to ministry conferences, Andrew always enjoyed the social aspect of them the most.  He was often inspired by the main speakers in the evenings and gained practical ideas from the workshops and seminars, but what he found most valuable was talking with other pastors who understood what he was going through and exchanging thoughts, ideas, and frustrations.  He loved both giving and receiving that kind of support, and he was more than happy to be arriving just in time for dinner.

He checked into the hotel first and walked the two blocks to the church rather than taking the rental car.  He had been apprehensive about coming here without Annika, but the familiar surroundings and memories of their times here together brought him comfort and a sense of wholeness.  Losing Annika had been very difficult, but he was thankful for all the years he’d had with her.  They’d had a great life together, and she had always been by his side in ministry: loving him, supporting him, praying for him, and being his best friend.  It was hard without her, but the memories were sweet and good and always seemed to come when he most needed them.

He registered at the front table and was given meal tickets with his assigned table-number on them.  The ones for tonight and tomorrow were the same, and then they changed on Wednesday and Thursday.  He knew from past years pastors and their wives were always seated together and then assigned to tables with other couples and pastors who were here alone.  He wondered if anyone would be here he knew, and he supposed so.  He’d be surprised if there weren’t at least a few pastors and couples he recognized, but he was open to meeting new people too.  That was one of his greatest joys in life.

The dining room was about half-filled when he stepped through the door, and he took a moment to scan the room and search for familiar faces before looking for his assigned seat.  He recognized some old-timers, especially one man who had seemed ancient to him when he’d been much younger.  He had been about fifty then and was now likely in his seventies.  Andrew had turned forty-nine this year and supposed he looked ancient to the younger pastors scattered around the room, but he was glad to see the youthful faces.  The Church needed their energy and new ideas.  He currently had two of them on his staff.  James was twenty-seven and had been the youth pastor for the last three years, and Joel was thirty-two and had come on-board two years ago as their pastor of worship.  Andrew loved them both immensely and wanted to help them reach their full potential in ministry.  Connecting with some associate pastors here and asking how he could best serve his younger staff-members was one of his goals for this week.