Obsession and Surrender (The Billionaire's Temptation Book 7) (14 page)

Chapter 27

Lilly’s hands shook as she held the engagement ring between her fingertips, ignoring the tears that slipped down her cheeks. It was clear Keane had given the ring a lot of thought, and it suited her style perfectly, with a cushion cut diamond that felt both modern and vintage in style—and was most certainly romantic.

Yet how could she say yes when she felt so utterly broken and damaged? She didn’t think she’d ever be able to scrub her brain free of all that blood—nor would she be able to ever forget the feel of Ash touching her. And Keane deserved someone who was whole, someone who wasn’t carrying a world of nightmares in her soul.

Hadley tilted her head toward it. “It’s a pretty ring.”

“He asked me yesterday—or was it a few days ago—but that was before…” Lilly took a deep breath and let out on a ragged sigh. “I told him there was too much going on for me to say yes…and now…
I don’t think I’ll ever be ready
.”

“I don’t know everything you went through, but from what I’ve seen, I can tell you that you’ve got a patient man on your hands and he loves you. He’s desperate to see you—and frankly, I don’t think he’s going anywhere.” Hadley sat on the edge of the bed so they were eye to eye. “I went through something similar, you know. Not exactly the same, but…I have an idea as to what you’re going through, and a good man by your side can make all the difference. You don’t want to do this alone if you don’t have to, Lilly.”

After Dylan, there had been no one in Lilly’s life. She hadn’t had to face anyone after what she went through. And in a way, that was easier than having to look at their worry, their hurt,
their pity
. Even when she’d finally broke down and told Wyatt, she’d seen the way he’d looked at her. But to have to face it daily with Keane…she just didn’t know if she could bear it—and she didn’t know if she could bear his touch.

The diamond caught the light as it shifted in her fingers. “I’m not sure I can see him. I don’t even know what to say to him, what to tell him.” Another wave of tears fell, her heart shattering at the thought of losing him again.

“I don’t know that you need to say anything at all at the moment—and I think he gets that.” Hadley tucked her long brown hair behind her ear and bit her bottom lip as she slowly got to her feet. “Should I tell him he can come in? Just for a moment?”

She swiped at her tears and tried to be brave, knowing Keane wouldn’t leave until he got to see her. “Yeah…I guess so.”

All she had was a minute to compose herself and pull herself together—which was impossible to do when her tears wouldn’t stop—before Keane walked into the hospital room. He didn’t even pause. Just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, his warmth and strength enveloping her in his protection. “I’ve got you, baby girl…”

She choked back the sob that escaped, nestling deeper into his embrace as he tightened his hold on her, shutting the rest of the world out so there was no one but the two of them once more. He murmured words of comfort, his cheek bent to her head, and let her cry until she was spent.

For once, words failed her. She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do.

But Keane…he seemed to understand, seemed to know that she was broken and couldn’t pick up the pieces. At least not yet. “Let’s get you out of here…get you home… The police already gave their okay, and know where you’ll be if they need you.”

Just like her, he had on scrubs, instead of his t-shirt, no doubt because she’d covered him in blood back at the cottage. “Keane…is he…is Sirius…Ash…is he dead? Did I kill him?” As much as she hated him, and as much as she wanted her nightmare to be over, she couldn’t deal with the thought of actually taking another life, even in self-defense.

“No, love. He’s in surgery, but they think he’s going to make it—not that he deserves to live.” Keane let out a sigh of frustration. “You did what you had to do, Lilly. Don’t go second-guessing yourself. It was self-defense. Plain and simple.”

“I know.” Ash’s intentions had been clear from the start, and she knew how things would have played out had she not stopped him. It was bad enough that he’d had his hands, his mouth, all over her, that he’d touched her, forced her...

Keane must have seen it in her face, in her eyes, and he certainly felt the shudder that raced through her body and got the shakes starting again. “Fuck, Lilly… Let’s get you home.”

She knew he wanted to ask her, wanted to find out what Sirius had done to her. And she knew he was likely assuming the worse, though there was a good chance the cops or Hadley gave him an update on her status once they’d examined her. But she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it.

Not yet—
if ever
.

***

Lilly must have fallen asleep during the ride to Wyatt’s because she finally awoke in the guest room with only a vague recollection of Keane carrying her to bed. She wasn’t sure what time it was—or what day, for that matter—but she was finally safe, even if it still felt like she might be pulled back into her nightmare at any moment.

As soon as Keane felt her stir awake, he tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. It appeared that he’d stayed by her side the whole time. “I’m right here, love. You’re safe.”

For now…until some other sadistic fuck got their hands on her. She knew it was the wrong attitude to have, but everything was still too raw for her to be optimistic. And then there was Keane…she didn’t know what to do or how to feel, didn’t know what to say.

“The ring…” She couldn’t remember what had happened to it, and would feel horrible if she’d lost it.

“I’ve got it. No worries, Lil.” He shifted her in his arms so he could look at her, but holding his gaze felt like an impossible feat. “It’ll be here when you’re ready. And there’s no rush… We’ll take things one day at a time…together.”

“What if I can’t move past this, Keane?” And then she said the words she feared the most. “What if I can’t bear for you to touch me again?”

“Lilly…I don’t know what he did to you…” The tension, the hurt, the anger in his voice was her undoing, sending the tears slipping down her cheeks once more. “But we’ve got all the time in the world. We can figure this out together, take things slow…you can set the pace. Whatever you need,
I’ll be here for you—always
.”

She knew that—and yet hearing him say it somehow made all the difference in the world. The tension in her chest slipped free just enough so she could finally take a deep breath. Maybe…just maybe she’d manage to pull through this. Maybe it’d be different than what she’d gone through after Dylan. At least Ash hadn’t had the chance to rape her, though he’d done more than enough and she’d never been more scared in all her life.

But this time, she had Keane at her side…so maybe…maybe things would be different this time around. When she looked up at him, he cupped her cheek and wiped her tears away. “Tell me again, Keane…”

“I love you, Lilly. We’ll get through this, and I’ll be at your side every step of the way. Don’t ever forget how strong you are. You’re a survivor. Don’t ever let him take that away from you.”

Chapter 28

It’d been a few weeks since Lilly’s ordeal came to an end, although with the cops still in the process of wrapping up the investigation, Keane would have to wait a little while longer before he could take her home. And once Ash was put on trial for his crimes, there was a good chance she would have to come back to Dublin to testify.

Keane was still desperately worried about her and the nights were always the hardest when her nightmares would come, but…she seemed better. Little by little. She’d even started writing again. And luckily, Hadley was able to pull a few strings to keep the attack out of the media.

Yet there was more on his mind than just Lilly. Wyatt was still looking stressed—and wasn’t saying a word about it, which was unlike him. Something was up, and he needed to get to the bottom of it before he and Lilly headed back home. Not that he was seeing a whole lot of his brother as of late.

Lilly set aside her laptop, and teasingly poked his thigh with her foot where they were sitting on the sofa, with her lounging sideways as she worked, and him on the other end as he answered emails. “Hey…don’t suppose you want to get out of here for a bit?”

He’d been trying to give her a bit of space, letting her know that he was close by, but letting her do her own thing and trying not to crowd her. He knew she needed him to take things slow, and they’d been doing just that. That said, over the last week, she seemed to be increasing the physical contact between them—and for that he was eternally grateful.

“Whatever you’d like to do, love. It’s nearly dinner time, and I don’t know that we have many days left before they give us the okay to get out of here.” Abandoning his work, he gathered up her feet and put them in his lap, giving them a gentle squeeze. When she let out a little moan, he continued to massage her feet, first one and then the other, happy that he could give her some pleasure that didn’t put her walls up. She sat back a bit and lowered herself on the sofa, getting more comfortable as her eyes slipped closed and she bit her bottom lip. “That feels so good, Keane…”

He didn’t say anything, not wanting to distract her, but rather shifted to face her. Letting his hands move from her feet to her bare calves, he continued to apply pressure to her muscles, working away the tension as she once more got used to his touch. Though they’d been sleeping in the same bed, with her cradled against him, this was the first time she seemed to be enjoying something other than just his embrace. It was a small step, but after two weeks of not being able to make love to her, he was just happy that they were at least making progress.

Lilly was wearing just a pair of comfy boxers and a tank, allowing Keane’s hands to wander with little obstructing his way as his hands massaged their way up to her thighs. Yet he paid close attention, judging her every reaction to make sure he didn’t push things too far. Though he now knew she’d managed to avoid being raped, she’d yet to tell him what happened, and if he was being honest with himself, it killed him not to know what she’d endured—though maybe it was for the best.

He forced himself to push those thoughts from his head, needing instead to focus on her and what was between them, on the here and now. She stiffened just a little, but as he continued to work the tension out of her muscles, it seemed as if she relaxed once more—or rather, the tension shifted to something he was more familiar with.

Her hips started to rock toward him ever so slightly, her rhythm matching his as if urging him on, silently asking him for more. After all she’d been through, he knew words still failed her, even at the best of times. And so he’d follow her lead, slowly taking more and then holding back to judge her reaction.

His hands slipped farther up her thighs, so his fingers danced past her sex in a tease, her breath catching in response. “Tell me, Lil… Is this what you want?”

Sucking in a deep breath, she nodded, her words just a whisper. “Yeah…it is. And…I think it’s what I need if I have any hope of moving past what happened.”

When he stroked her clit through the thin fabric of her boxers, her head fell back with a gasp and her hips rocked against his hand as his cock strained against his jeans in response, desperate to be set free. Yet he did his best to ignore his own needs. This wasn’t about him—it was about her. And she was the only thing that mattered.

Slipping her boxers out of the way, he let his fingers tease her opening, and fuck…he was relieved to find her wet for him, and so ready. Slowly, he dragged his fingers along her slit to her swollen clit, circling it, teasing it, before slipping back down toward her ass, barely dipping his fingers into her heat. “Do you want more, Lil?”

“Desperately.”

It was all he needed to hear.

He slid two fingers deep inside her, curling them to hit her G-spot as he pulled them back out and then slowly thrust them into her again, while he used his other hand to tease her clit. As her breathing grew erratic, he increased his pace, her juices covering his hand, so when he pressed a finger to the bud of her ass, it slipped right in. That was all it took to have her crying out as her orgasm raced through her, her body quivering as he pulled forth one wave of pleasure after the other, until she finally stilled and he pulled his fingers free of her, gathering her up in his arms.

“Lil…are you okay?” He was still worried he might trigger something for her, and it’d push back any progress they’d made.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips, their heads still bent together as she spoke. “I love you, Keane.”

“And I love you…with all my heart, Lil.” When he looked at her in question, she nodded, no words needed between them.

As he scooped her up in his arms, she held onto him, her head nestled against the crook of his shoulder, trailing kisses over the stubbled skin of his neck. He knew he still had to take things slow, needed to be aware enough to pick up on her cues, but fuck…he wanted her something fierce and it wasn’t going to be easy to not lose himself in her.

Lowering her onto the bed, he stole a quick kiss and then stripped himself naked before turning his attention to Lilly, who was slowly pulling her tank up over her head to free her gorgeous breasts. She then shimmied her boxers down past her hips, so she was lying there naked, though he could tell she was still looking nervous.

He knelt by her side, ready to take things slow, when she pulled him to her and kissed him as if her life depended on it. His tongue found hers in a heated dance, his hands drifting down her back to cup her ass as she stroked his cock, making it so he could think of little else but fucking her, claiming her as his once more. Because the last few weeks, the distance he felt between them had left him wondering if she’d ever come back to him, or if she’d just walk away from what they had—not that he’d have ever let her go.

“Fuck, Lilly…I’ve missed you so much.” He brushed his lips against hers, and then covered her warm skin in soft kisses, breathing in her scent, anchoring himself in the moment as if it might all slip away with one wrong move.

“I’ve missed you too.” She continued to stroke him, and he swore he’d come just like that if she kept it up.

Before he could protest that he had other things in mind, she pushed him back so he could lie back against the pillows, and then straddled him, letting the slick lips of her sweet cunt glide back and forth along his shaft as she kissed him once more. With a tilt of her hips, she caught the head of his cock at her opening, pausing for a second before she slowly slipped her taut body down his hard shaft, her eyes locked on his, as if needing to see that it was him, and no one else.

With her body wrapped tightly around his, and the last two weeks they’d spent avoiding any real physical contact, he didn’t know how long he’d last as her hips tilted and rocked along his length while he thrust up into her, desperate for more. “You feel so fucking good, Lil…I’ve missed this…missed having you in my arms…missed the way your body feels when it’s wrapped around me…missed fucking you.”

“And you’ve been so patient with me, Keane. But…it’s time I took this back. I can’t be scared, can’t live in the past… Because if I do, if I don’t push him out of my head and take back my life, then he wins. Even if he’s not here, he’ll still have control over me, Keane. And I’m not going to let that fucking happen.”