Oblivion (10 page)

Lindsay felt uncomfortable, knowing being in his room was obviously giving him thoughts. She wondered at the sanity of what she was doing when his cell phone rang. He looked at it and announced he had to take it. She watched him leave his room and shut the door, and a pent up sigh came out in a rush.

She heard the front door open and looked out the window, seeing him talking on the phone, an angry look on his face. He appeared to be arguing with whoever called him. She took advantage of his absence and went to work.

By the time she finished ransacking every drawer and place the ring might be she heard the front door open and retook her seat. He arrived back, a slight frown on his face.

“Is everything alright?”

He shrugged. “That was Marnie. What a psycho? As if I’d take her back! You didn’t hear the latest cause you haven’t been in school. She’s knocked up and doesn’t know whose kid it is.”

“I’m sorry, Cam,” Lindsay said and bit her lip, refraining from adding an opinion. Jace had accused her of being judgmental. She was making an effort these days.

“Yeah, she’s pinning it on any guy she can think of. She even claimed it could be Jace’s.”

Lindsay froze and looked at him in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t pay any attention to her. She’s just mad nobody took responsibility. I mean, who would? She was sleeping with most of my friends. Even Dooley was hitting it; sorry for the language.”

“Why would she say it was Jace’s?” Lindsay demanded and saw Cam flush and look away. He swore and looked miserable then, acting as if he spoke out of turn.

“I’m sorry, Lindsay. I swear I didn’t know.”

“When was this?”

“Back in December, after Christmas, I think she said,” Cam admitted and sighed. “It was happening and I didn’t know.  Marnie told me what happened between them in February. I was just as surprised as you. I mean, that’s not like Jace at all.”

A desolate look fell across Lindsay’s face to think Jace cheated on her with Marnie, of all people. Her hand shook as she set down her folder. Anger coursed through her too. All those times she recalled him leaving her house; she wondered if he went to Marnie’s now.

“Is it true?” she asked hoarsely, her eyes filling with tears.

“The day he gave me a ride out there he said he was gonna pay for it. She wanted to get an abortion. Who wants to have a kid when you don’t know whose it is, right? Jace did it for her cause nobody else would.”

“That’s not what I asked you!” Lindsay snapped. “Did he admit to it? Or did he just loan her the money as a friend?”

“Lindsay, it was going on since last summer, from what he said. He said there was a chance it could be his and that was enough for him to pay for it.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away, unable to bear the compassion in Cam’s eyes. “So all along he was cheating on me? Here I thought he was the perfect boyfriend and he was screwing around with Marnie?”

“She’s nothing but a whore, Lindsay. He loved you. I know he did. I used to razz him for not pushing to get in your pants. He said you guys decided to wait.”

“Apparently the wait was just for me. He didn’t have a problem going to Marnie.”

 Cam got up from the chair and came over, but she stood and stepped away, her hands up. “No, just leave me alone! I don’t need this right now! I just don’t.”

“Lindsay, I’m sorry, but I guess I thought you heard. Everybody knows.”

Tears filled her gaze and she marched past him and snatched up her purse. “We’re done for today. I’ll be back the same time tomorrow. Don’t be stoned when I get here or I’m leaving. If you fail it’s your problem.”

Cam said nothing as she slammed out of his house. She didn’t even say a word to Marianne who opened her mouth and shut it when she saw Lindsay stomp out of her house. She didn’t allow herself to really feel anything until she got outside the main gate of Bendview Estates and then she had to pull over. She jumped out of the car and barely made it to the ditch before she was sick over the side.

Raw sobs mingled with dry heaves until she sat back on her feet, wiping the tears out of her eyes. Pain like nothing she had ever felt sat upon her chest, cutting off her breath.

She trembled as she got to her feet, seeing people slowing down as they passed. Assured she was fine, they kept going. She sat in the driver’s seat, unseeing and unaware of how long she just sat on the shoulder of the road. Twisted images of Jace and Marnie whirled in her head. Hands covered her eyes.

“No, just let me hold onto him. Don’t let me see he was all in my mind,” she whispered brokenly and a sob escaped her.

Lindsay was breathing unsteadily as she pulled back onto the road and continued home, feeling numb as she finally pulled into her lot. She passed Sara and her mom in the kitchen and went straight to her room.

Deborah poked her head in, eyes worried. “Honey, you ok?”

Wanting to spare Sara, Lindsay burrowed her head in the pillow. “I had a rough day, Mom. I just need to be alone.”

Deborah backed out and closed the door. Lindsay curled into a ball on her bed, staring at the wall in anguish. As much as she wanted to hold onto Jace’s perfect image; knowing Marnie Slade might be having his kid ruined that for her.

Lindsay slept around the clock and by two in the afternoon the next day, her mom demanded she get up. Sara was at school and her mom took a break downstairs to come up and check on her.

Deborah stood over her bed, her eyes filled with concern. “You have to get up, Lindsay. What’s going on? You came home a mess last night.”

Lindsay sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She was still wearing her clothes. Normally this might have bothered her enough to get up and shower. Not today. Today she just didn’t care. The truth about Jace just wiped her out.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mom.”

“If it’s what I think it is; I already heard about it from Sara,” Deborah snapped in irritation. “Marianne had no right making accusations like that publically.”

“I talked to Cam. It’s true,” she wailed and fresh sobs escaped her. “He said it’s been going on since last summer. How could he do this to me, Mom?”

Deborah sat on the edge of her bed and reached out to cover her hand. “I’ve been there, Lindsay. Guys do this stuff sometimes. Sounds like Jace did the right thing coming forward, unlike the other boys.”

Lindsay wiped her eyes angrily. “Don’t use this to make him into even more of a hero, Mom. I’m pissed off!”

“Oh, I get it. I know exactly how this feels.”

Lindsay looked at her mom and recalled she got pregnant with Lance and had to marry her dad; not really the same thing. She couldn’t know how this felt at all. She pushed off the bed and went to her dresser. She dug several items out of her drawer.

“Lindsay, I wish I could tell you that the situation will get better, but that won’t help how you feel right now,” Deborah said to her back.

“Nothing will help!”

“Lindsay, we do things we know are wrong, for whatever reason. Jace was human. Let it go, Babe. You know how he felt about you.”

“Yeah, he loved me so much! Give me a break!” Lindsay said with a sneer and stalked past her mom and headed for the bathroom.

Deborah followed, determined to get through to her daughter. Her eyes were pensive as she watched her turn on the water to the shower. She came forward and sat on the commode.

“Shut off the water, Lindsay. We have to talk.”

Lindsay shut off the water and looked at her mother’s pained features and forgot about her own anger and misery for a minute. “What is it, Mom?”

“I dated Everett Turner back in high school. He looked like Jace back then. He was the captain of the football team and every girl in school was crazy about him,” her mother said with a sad smile. “I thought we would be together forever too; especially when the scout from Minnesota arrived and offered him a contract.”

Lindsay said nothing, seeing the sad resolve on her mother’s face.

“I got pregnant, Lindsay. Everett refused to do the right thing. In fact, he pretty much treated me like the Slade girl, and said it wasn’t his. That’s when your dad asked me to marry him.”

Lindsay stared at her in shock. “Oh my God, Lance is Everett Turner’s son? Does Lance know? Is that why he left?”

Deborah sighed and hung her head, tears falling freely now. She nodded and looked away. “Your dad never wanted him to know. I told him things like this come out, but he said it would ruin everything.”

Lindsay could see how tortured her mother was. “Is that why you hated Jace?”

“I never hated Jace, Lindsay. God, he looks just like Everett did then. I just remember how Evie treated me. I worried his son was no different. I worried for you.”

“Lance will come back one day, Mom. He will forgive you,” Lindsay whispered, understanding in her gaze.

Deborah laughed scornfully and looked away. “No, he won’t Lindsay, and who could blame him? I did this by keeping it from him all his life. He hates me, he hates your father, but most of all he hates who he really is. Knowing he’s Everett’s son destroyed him. I live with that, so don’t let me off the hook.”

“You were young, Mom. You made a mistake.”

Deborah looked up at her knowingly. “I was seventeen, Lindsay. I was the same age as Jace and Marnie. Don’t you see? They made a mistake too. That’s all this was.”

Lindsay didn’t want to forgive Jace, but saw the wisdom in her words. “All this time, he’s been seeing Marnie behind my back! Don’t make excuses, Mom.”

“Oh, I think you have every right to be upset. I just know how Marnie feels right now. I don’t think you realize how tough things will be for her.”

Lindsay made a face. “You expect me to feel sorry for her? She’s been sleeping around since the eighth grade, Mom.”

Deborah eyed her with a shake of her head. “Lindsay, some girls only know one way to feel good. Please try not to judge.”

“What am I supposed to do? She might be having his kid. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“How do you think Dawn Turner felt when she found out about Lance?”

Lindsay stared at her in shock. “I don’t understand.”

“Everett broke up with me after a week, Lindsay. He was seeing Dawn at the same time. I was devastated. When I found out I was pregnant; I went to Evie and he laughed at me and said it wasn’t his. Dawn almost broke up with him over it. Everything was happening for him then. He thought he could sit back and pick and choose the offers coming in. I think you know the rest. He waited too long. Then the offers stopped.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Go easy on Marnie, Lindsay. She has a rough road ahead. You might as well know her dad and mom kicked her out. Amelia is letting her stay in the room over the antique shop until after graduation. That damned Marianne Chase should feel proud of herself now. ”

Lindsay wasn’t ready to feel sympathy for Marnie quite yet, recalling all the hateful looks the girl tossed at her over the years. Marnie always despised her. She had never done anything to deserve it. Except have Jace Turner adore her. She sighed and looked down.

“I get it, but it hurts, Mom. Jace never told me any of this. We told each other everything.”

 “Lindsay, you did the right thing not dragging sex into your relationship with Jace too soon. It’s the mistake so many of you young people make and aren’t prepared for these kinds of consequences. You got the rest of your life ahead of you now. Be lucky it isn’t you,” Deborah said sadly and stood up. “I have to get back to work. Just think about what I said.”

Lindsay raced through a shower and threw her wet hair up in a bun as she headed over to Cam’s to get the tutoring over with. She dreaded facing him now, especially after everything her mom told her. The baby could very well be Cam’s and he didn’t seem to care at all. Jace had rushed right in to help Marnie, even knowing it might not be his. Tears burned her eyes to know how selfless he was.

She pulled in and saw Marianne was home. She squared her shoulders, knowing what a horrible gossip the woman was. She wasn’t giving her one tidbit to pass onto her clients. Marianne answered the door and smiled widely, her falsely sensitive gaze seeing how red Lindsay’s eyes were. She hardly spared the woman a word as she went to Cam’s room. Knowing she had been the one to spread the tale to make Cam look good and got Marnie kicked out of her house made her sick.  She doubted Marianne even stopped to think the baby could be Cam’s.

Cam was watching TV when she knocked on his door. He opened it and gazed at her with a sorrowful expression. He tried to talk to her about it and she looked at him without expression.

“Cam, we both know that baby could be yours, so stop pinning this on Jace. The jury is still out on that.”

His lips tightened. “God, you excuse everything he does, don’t you?”

“Jace was the only guy that stepped up, so sorry if I don’t beat him up for it. I’m thinking about Marnie now. You might want to tell your mom to quit trashing her in town. I can’t see her cutting you any slack if this kid turns out to be yours.”

Cam didn’t know how to respond to that. She ignored him as she went through her bag to find his list of assignments. She refused to discuss it every time he brought it up. It was obvious he wanted Jace to be the bad guy in this. She was starting to wonder why he persisted and a cold feeling filled her.

She suddenly felt wary of being alone with him, knowing Sheriff Wilson thought he was the one who killed Jace. He certainly had another motive now, the thing with Marnie. Still, she couldn’t see Cam doing such a thing.

 “Cam, you have the reading list for English,” Lindsay said when she was getting ready to leave. “You need to read those books. They’re on the test, trust me.”

He looked at her with the same empty expression he wore when he sat in Foster’s for the funeral. The hair on the back of her neck prickled with dread. Looking into those cold, flat eyes that seemed oblivious to others feelings these days made her shiver. She just now saw it.

“I’m sorry if the truth about Jace hurts, Lindsay. He really wasn’t perfect, ya know? I guess I’m mad he went behind my back even if he did tell me about it the next day, but I’ll get over it.”