Obesssion (12 page)

“
Looks like you should be an extra in a horror movie.” I had to find a cloth and clean the spill from the floor. Suki seemed incapable. “Hey, Suki.” She stayed immobile. “It’s only a glass of wine, there’s no harm done.”

Standing again, I deposited the empty glass on the table and reached to her, to wrap my arm around her shoulders.
“Suki,” I murmured. “What’s the matter, darling? You don’t look well at all.”

She let me guide her into a chair, and then covered her face with her hands.
“I feel weird,” she admitted. “Sort of wobbly.”

I crouched beside her, and stroked the errant strands of hair back from her face.
“You been drinking already?”

Puzzled eyes met mine.
“No, why do you ask that?”

I gestured towards a dirty wine glass next to the sink. It bore a lipstick mark on the rim.
“Thought you’d started early. That’s why I opened a fresh bottle.”

When I glanced back at her, it was to see her staring at the empty glass, her face glazing over.
“I didn’t,” she whispered, almost to herself. “I
couldn’t
have.”

“
Hey, like I said, don’t worry about it. Maybe you’d be better in bed.” I slipped one arm around her middle and pulled her up, she hesitated a moment and blinked as she looked at her watch.

“
Gabe, it’s 7:30. A bit early for bed, don’t you think?” She swayed as she stood there. I felt a momentary pang of guilt.

“
Come on, I’ll help you upstairs. It’s okay if you don’t feel well. It’s not like you to drink so early.”

“
I didn’t.”

“
Well, I don’t wear lipstick.” We lumbered out of the kitchen, Suki slumped against me. “Maybe you forgot.”

I felt a tremor run down her spine.
“What do you mean?”

“
Huh? You’ve been getting awfully forgetful the past few weeks. You know.” I guided her up the stairs, and spoke comfortingly into her ear. “Maybe you should cut back at work, just a little. I mean it’s okay letting things slip at home, but if you did it in front of the cameras…” Was I laying it on a bit thick? Maybe not; she seemed to concentrate on my words.

She stumbled on the landing so I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to our bed, laying her on the duvet as gently as I could.
“How do you feel now? Are you still a bit wobbly?”

I watched her shrug, tears filling her eyes before she ducked her head away from me.
“Hey, Suki, don’t cry, baby.” She came into my arms as I sat beside her, her whole body shuddering as she cried against my shirt. “Baby, don’t cry. Whatever’s the matter, we’ll fix it, okay?” She sobbed a little more and I held her close, rocking her slightly. “I’m here for you, Suzu, tell me what’s wrong, baby. Let me help you.”

It was an age before she spoke.
“I just feel ill. Maybe I’ve got the flu.”

I kept my voice gentle.
“Would you like me to cancel my photo-shoot tomorrow? I can stay home and look after you.”

Her head shook.
“No, I’ll be fine. And there’s a show tomorrow, I can’t be sick and miss it.”

“
If you’ve got the flu, you won’t be going anywhere. Let’s get you into bed and I’ll go and fetch you some hot milk.”

She let me help her undress, and slipped beneath the duvet, still with that shocked look on her face. When I fetched her milk, she was sitting there, staring blankly at the wall, her eyes slightly unfocused.

After she’d sipped the drink, she leaned against me as I sprawled on the bed beside her. “How do you feel now, Suzu?”

“
Sleepy.” Her voice was slurred.

My fingers soothed against her neck, and stroked her hair. I felt her relax against me.
“It’s time you told me about Antony.”

She sighed, a little gust of breath against my throat.
“I never meant to. It was all my fault.”

I kept up the stroking, soft, gentle movements, my voice almost a whisper.
“What did you do?”

“
I was playing hide and seek. And I got stuck in the broom cupboard.”

“
Were you scared?”

She gulped.
“Petrified. When the door wouldn’t open, I kicked it and screamed. I screamed and screamed for Mummy. She didn’t even want to play, she said she was tired. She was always tired.”

“
What about Antony?”

“
He was asleep in his cot.”

A-ha. Antony was her brother. I moved one hand to rub gentle circles across her back. She sighed and pressed her face against me.

“What did Mummy do? Did she find you?”

“
I heard her screaming, too. And then she stopped.” I hesitated, not really sure I wanted to know after all, but Suki carried on anyway, a long moment later. “She never really started again after that.”

I puzzled over her words. Had Suki fallen asleep? Her breathing was slow and regular. I eased her back against the pillow, and pressed my hand to her cheek, feeling strangely tender. Martha Hubbard had always been vacant, as though her body functioned while her mind sailed elsewhere. We had so little to do with her that I’d never considered why she behaved as she did. There was more to this story, though. I’d ask my Mum. She might know.

Suki lay pale and calm, but her eyelashes fluttered open when I touched my lips to her forehead. “It’s all my fault.”

6.4 Josh

Jon sounded pissed off when I phoned him.
“If I’m honest, I didn’t expect you to find out much.”

I sighed.
“I’m still looking at options. I might find something.” I was deliberately vague.

“
Yeah, and I won’t hold my breath waiting for you. I hate to make accusations without proof, but you’re still my number one suspect.”

There was little more I could add. Abandoning the phone, I went in search of a beer only to find the fridge empty. Great. No food either, and since Danielle was now off limits, no company. Before I could slide into a vat of self-loathing, I rang out for curry with a side order of a six-pack of beer. After all, it didn’t matter if I had garlic breath in the morning. There was nobody here to notice.

An hour later and I found myself staring blankly at my laptop screen, the Google search bar twinkling back at me. I fiddled with my Talisman, sliding it up and down my wrist while my brain chugged in slow circles. Deep in thought, my eyes were drawn to the obscure symbols etched into the leather. They’d faded over the years, but the name inscribed was still clear:
Raphael
in Ancient Hebrew. My Talisman was my most prized possession, and the only thing that remained of my mother.

I didn’t ‘do’ indecision. It was rare for me to be unable to make up my mind, but this business with the photos of Anita… I struggled.

If I said nothing, didn’t offer any suggestions, they would continue to assume, correctly, I was responsible. I would continue to deny it. There was a distinct risk of Suki being told. After all, they were close friends.

Yet, if I pointed the finger at Gabriel Bridgewater, well, that opened another can of worms entirely. I’d need proof. If I blagged my way past that, practised my Bullshit Degree some more, they might believe me.
Yeah, good plan
. It would come bouncing right back at me.

The truth was the last option to consider and I rejected it immediately. To admit I’d been paid to photograph them? I wasn’t going there.

I rubbed my nose thoughtfully, and turned over an unpalatable realisation. The problem wasn’t so much about what I did and what people thought of me. It had everything to do with how Suki might feel about me. I didn’t want her to know that she was my next target.

The truth squirmed in a little used corner of my brain.
I don’t want to hurt her.
I wanted her to like me, not just as a flirt, but to like the real me. I scoffed at myself, gulping down the bottle of lager and reaching for a third. Even I didn’t know who the real me was any more.

I reached for the document wallet again and rifled through the contents one more time. I could probably answer a pop quiz now, specialist subject Suki Bridgewater.

• Age—28
  
• Birthday—1
  st
  September
  
• Length of marriage—ten years
  
• She was a virgin when she met and married Gabriel
  
• She wears size 8—10, but struggles with her weight
  
• She likes rock music, especially Event Horizon, the Killers and U2
  
• She’s a member of Ladies Zone gym in Wilmslow
  
• She loves reading, vampire novels mostly, but also glossy magazines
  

It didn’t contain any of the information I was hungry for. Was she still in love with her husband? Did he ever hurt her? Who, or what, had she been so frightened of?

My direction had been to proceed slowly, but I couldn’t wait. Even as I contemplated that my intervention could spell the end of her marriage, one of the happiest ever, according to Anita, I knew I had to see her. I could never consider a relationship with a woman who could not be 100% faithful and, with the possible exception of Anita, that woman did not exist.

So the way to get over my strange obsession with Suki was simple. Do my job. Demonstrate her fickleness. And then forget her.

6.5 Suki

I awoke feeling fuzzy-headed, as though I had a hangover. Maybe I really did have the flu? My mind flashed back to the empty wineglass in the kitchen and Gabe’s assertion that I’d been drinking. Try as I might, I had no recollection of that, just the coffee that Gabe brewed. As if I’d called him, he stuck his head around the bedroom door and smiled at seeing me awake.

“Hello, sleepy. Do you feel any better now?” What was he doing here? He was supposed to be flying out to Paris first thing—and I was supposed to be at the studio. Pulling my wits together I turned to look at the alarm clock and whimpered at how late it was.

“
Gabe, I’m supposed to be at the studio. Did you switch off my alarm?”

“
No. I phoned them to say you were sick.” He sat on the edge of the bed next to me, ran his fingers through my hair and then pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. “You don’t seem to have a temperature.”

I pulled free, sitting up and trying to swing my legs out of bed, except that he sat in my way.
“What do you mean?” My voice rose in panic. “You phoned them? When?”

“
Suki
.” He looked shocked. “Calm down, baby. You weren’t well last night, don’t you remember?” His eyes searched my face, I could see worry in them. I scrambled to order my thoughts.

“
I felt a bit flu-ish, but I’m fine today.” I glanced again at the clock, nervously. “Oh God, if I rush I might just make the second half.” Gabe still blocked me. As I wriggled to try and climb out, he placed both hands on my shoulders and gently pressed me back down again. “And why aren’t you in Paris?”

“
Paris?” He sounded surprised. “I don’t go until tomorrow.” Dark eyes observed me carefully. “Are you sure you feel okay? We agreed last night that you’d stay at home today, and that’s why you didn’t set the alarm. Now drink your coffee”—he gestured to the mug he’d brought with him— “and come downstairs when you feel ready. Or I’ll make you some breakfast if you want to stay in bed. Just let me know.”

I accepted the mug he held out, and desperately tried to think straight.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?” It was meant as a feeble joke. For some reason, Gabe didn’t understand. His eyebrows lifted and he hesitated as I rushed to explain. “Joke. And what’s with the coffee? I thought you’d banned caffeine. You kick up a fuss if you think I’ve been to the café near the gym.”

He eyed me strangely, a little wary.
“Banning caffeine? Why would I do that? I’ve just bought a new machine. The reason you said you don’t go to the café is because you can’t resist their cakes.” He shrugged and looked uneasy. “At least, that’s what you told me.”

Something was very wrong. I sipped the coffee to buy myself some time. Gabe seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I pursed my lips at the taste.
“What type of coffee are you using? It’s quite bitter.”

“
A French one. It’s roasted with chicory, that’s why it tastes a little different from what you normally drink. It’s good though, I prefer it.”

He watched as I drank a little more, and then carefully took my free hand, playing with my fingertips.
“I’m worried about you, Suzu. You’re behaving very oddly at the moment and I wonder if you should take some time off work? I blame myself. Maybe we should be spending more time together.” I started to argue, but he carried on. “I’d like you to get checked over by the doctor. Will do you that please? For me?”

I could feel a bubble of panic rising from my stomach. I took a quick breath and tried to squash it. I pulled together a confident smile and looked him in the eyes.
“I’m fine, truly. I was just a bit tired yesterday. It’s silly to go to the doctor for that.”