Nurse Kelsey Abroad (15 page)

“I shall now play for you, if you can still bear to listen, my friend
,”
his eyes twinkled as he spoke directly to Jim. “You will then see there is greater flexibility in my fingers than there was the last time you honoured my house with your presence.”

Jane did not know quite what to expect. She had not much knowledge of classical music and quite expected to find herself not bored, exactly, but somewhat at sea where appreciation and understanding were concerned. To her surprised delight, from the moment the first liquid notes of music began, she was completely enthralled, and it required no extra concentration to sit perfectly still and let the music enter her heart and mind.

If there were errors in Nimtvitch’s performance, Jane did not know enough about music to detect them. To her the performance was wholly delightful, and as he obviously concluded his impromptu recital and laid his instrument aside, she burst into an unexpected round of applause, almost as surprising to herself as it was to Jim and the artist.

Nimtvitch smiled, delightedly, and bowed in her direction, breaking suddenly into a spate of Dalasalavian which was too rapid for her to follow, but which it was evident Jim understood perfectly well. Shortly afterwards they took their leave, promising faithfully to visit the elderly musician again before very long. When they had successfully negotiated the bumpy track and were once more on what was classed as the main road, Jim turned to Jane, smiling broadly.

“You’ve won his heart for ever!” he told her. “I am so glad you enjoyed his performance ... it wasn’t as good as when I first came here, but he’d still win acclaim in any city in the world.”

“I think He’s wonderful,” Jane said, and meant it, and
found herself blushing violently, so that she was glad of the covering dark, when Jim said quietly: “Exactly Alexis’ opinion of yourself, my dear! You made a conquest, even before you applauded. Now you’ve completely won his heart.”

They drove the remainder of the way back to St. George’s without further words. For some reason Jane felt supremely contented and sat quietly by Jim’s side until he stopped the car at the entrance to the block where she lived.

In the faint light from the dashboard they looked at one another, sitting silently side by side. For one wild moment Jane wished with all her heart that he would lean across and kiss her, but instead he asked very casually: “Did you really enjoy the evening, Jane? All of it?”

She felt like a child who had rushed up to someone to be hugged and then set gently on one side, but she rallied immediately and nodded, her eyes shining.

“Very much,” she said truthfully. “Thank you for taking me—I haven’t enjoyed anything so much for years
...
not even before I came to St. George’s.”

“Then I’m satisfied,” Jim said quietly. “We must make this a regular event, Jane, you and I. We’ll appoint ourselves one free evening each week, depending, of course, on what cases we have in and whether or not there’s any emergency on hand. How would you like that?” he queried.

“I’d love it,” Jane said, feeling herself keyed up with all she had to offer and which he appeared to choose to ignore. “I’ll look forward to the next time.”

“And I,” Jim told her, leaning across and opening the car door. “See you in the morning, then. Goodnight.” Jane echoed his “goodnight” and ran up the stairs to the door of her own flat. Her heart was pounding madly, but it was not because she had taken the flight of stairs
in one run. It was, she knew, because she had been so very conscious of his nearness, of his dearness, and of the longing to be someone more important in his eyes than Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey.

Her face flamed as she realised how desperately she had longed for him to kiss her, how greatly she had yearned for the feel of his arms about her, holding her close.

“I’ll have to get a grip on myself!” she admonished her reflection. “If he thought I
...
love him,” her colour deepened even more as she made the admission to her mirrored self, “he wouldn’t want me with him ever again! It’s Dudley and myself in reverse. Now I know how
he
must have felt. I’m glad I was never unkind, even though I could never have loved him.”

She sat on the edge of the bed to think over this wonderful thing which had happened to her. Even if he never loved her in return, she thought fiercely, that wouldn’t prevent her loving
him
until the day of her death
...
and afterwards.

She sat still, because she was still in that stage of being in love when the mere presence of the beloved seems sufficient. Only later, she had the sense to realise, would come the yearning, the longing, which might make life intolerable should he never see her as a woman he could love, but only as his staff nurse, always there
!

“I’ll cope with that when it happens!” she told herself, stirring from the mirror and laying out her night things in readiness for bed. “I think I may well stick it out for the two years
...
and,” in spite of all reason the happy doubt reared its head, “who knows what may have happened by that time
?
”

She was happily thinking all sorts of occasions and imaginary circumstances therein Jim would suddenly discover he could not live in Seonyata without her, or without her love—the images fought with one another
as she tried to imagine which would be the happier state, for Jim to discover he loved her and wanted her to stay there with him, or for him to decide that Seonyata would never be the same when she had gone, and to leave with her—when someone tapped loudly and urgently on the flat’s door.

Jane was not, by any means, an easily frightened person, but there had been no sound of footsteps approaching the door, and there was something so premonitory in the urgent tapping that she felt a sudden chill of fear. Softly she crossed to the door and stood there, her hand on the knob.

“Who’s there?” she demanded. “Who is it?”

“Let me in, Jane! And hurry up!” Kevin’s voice sounded breathless, as though he had been running. Wondering what scrape he had managed to get himself into this time, Jane unfastened the bolt and held the door wide, taking a quick look out as she admitted him, but, for once, there was no sign of the elderly caretaker.

“He’s gone for his cup of whatever evil brew he drinks,” Kevin forestalled her comments. “I made certain he wasn’t there before I ventured up
!
Listen, Jane, I need your help. There’s a lot of money in this—for us and for other people—and a certain amount of risk, but it’s all in a good cause. Put your kettle on, there’s a good girl, and I’ll tell you all about it!”

“I’m not in the least certain I want to know,” Jane told him as she obediently set the kettle on the stove. “Between you and me and this kettle,” she banged down' the lid with a smart thump, “I think you’re spending too much time on things and events which are no concern of yours, and sooner or later you’ll land yourself—and St. Georg’s—in trouble with the authorities. We’re visitors here, remember
...”
she was continuing, but he was obviously determined not to listen.

“You haven’t been here long enough to feel so patriotic
,”
he sneered, “or to feel you should spring to the defence of these short-sighted, limit-minded old men who won’t give the young people of this country any chance to develop along the lines they choose for themselves. Just brew up, there’s a good girl, and then sit down so’s I can whisper and not have to shout, while I tell you how you can help me and what’s to be done.”

CHAPTER 7

BY the time the tea was brewed and poured Kevin appeared to have recovered his breath, and a little of the self-possession she had come to associate with him. Mentally she corrected herself. What Kevin had was not
self-possession
, but arrogance. He was always far too certain what he was doing was right, and disregarding any advice from anyone whatsoever.

“That was good!” He drained the cup in one long, thirsty draught and set it down on the table. “Will you give me a refill, please, Jane? I’ve had far too much of this country’s home-brew tonight, smoked too much and,” he grinned disarmingly, “talked too much, I’m afraid. But it’s all very exciting!”

“I’m sure of
that I”
Jane commented dryly. “Just as I’m sure it’s something you ought not to be mixed up in, Kevin Dean, and I don’t care whether as a doctor here I should address you as ‘sir’ or not!” she said defiantly, thinking of Jim and of how disturbed he was by the younger man’s attitude to the country in which he had chosen to serve and his manner of conducting himself as a temporary citizen in that country.

“You don’t—or won’t—understand
!
” Kevin spread his hands.' “At home we’ve been used to freedom in more or less everything we undertake. There are laws, restrictions, yes, but by and large we’re fairly free to please ourselves, say what we like, go where we please and with whom we please! Here, so many things are forbidden, so many restrictions abound, that one can scarcely call one’s soul one’s
o
wn
!
”

“The people I’ve met,” Jane returned, “seem happy and satisfied. According to Dr. Jim the people are better off now, better fed, better housed, better cared for in every way—and that includes our being here—than at any other time in the history of their country. I haven’t met any who are as dissatisfied as you seem to think the whole populace either is or should be!” she went on, but he interrupted hastily.

“That’s because you’ve mainly mixed with the older people,” Kevin said, half laughing at her. “You ought to come with me to the New Thought Club again and see for yourself what the younger, go-ahead people want and hope to do. Some of them would surprise even you, Jane. Two" of the young men I talked with last night in particular. They’ve worked abroad, they’ve worked all over Europe, and they want some of the things they’ve seen in their travels to be available for the people here, for their own people. Is that too much to ask?”

“Not if they’re prepared to work for what they want,” Jane returned in a reasonable tone. “I don’t understand much more of the politics and policies of this place than you do, if as much, but I do know if they want these things they won’t get them out of the blue, like presents from a Christmas tree. What we’ve got at home,” she said with a wave of wistful nostalgia for some of the things she herself missed a great deal, “has been worked for and fought for, throughout hundreds of years.”

“But it had to have a beginning somewhere,” Kevin countered swiftly, “both the working and the fighting. If it hadn’t we wouldn’t have all these things either, not yet.”

Jane sighed. So many of Kevin’s arguments seemed logical enough when he put them to her, but broken down they didn’t appear to lead to a great deal of common sense. History had always been a favourite subject of hers at school, and, t
hinking back, she could well rec
all that the majority of reforms had been preceded by a somewhat stormy prelude.

“The people here are working
,”
she tried again, intending, if possible, to prevent his telling her of whatever hare-brained scheme he had in mind this time. She did not want to know. She simply wanted him to go on his way, see the folly of mixing himself up in what did not concern him, and devote himself to the task for which he had been brought to Seonyata, the furthering of health and happiness amongst the populace.

“If your friends would work for instead of against their government, I’m sure they’d help to bring about the results they all so evidently want a great deal more quickly!” she said, feeling she might be wrong to lecture when she understood so little. On the other hand Dr. Jim, both older and, she knew, wiser than Kevin, had said it was imprudent to upset those in authority,
or
the Embassy which had been responsible for St. George’s being there at all. And to Jane Dr. Jim’s word was law!

“What is it this time?” she said as lightly as she could. “A bomb through the Embassy window, thrown, no doubt, by the young man who was obviously protesting so violently by means of the banging of his tankard the other evening? If ever I saw anyone deliberately inciting trouble, then that was the man!”

“It’s nothing like that,” Kevin ignored the latter part of her sentence and took up her first words. “There’s no violence attached to this, just a little clever sneak
-
thieving, if you could call it that! I used to be pretty crafty at hide-and-seek and games of that nature when I was a kid. Any game where someone was ‘he’, I was seldom caught... and never found out,” he chuckled, “if it was supposed to be a secret who was behind whatever was taking place. I don’t think I’ve lost the art, even though I might be a bit rus
ty!”

“But what
is
it?” Jane reiterated.
“I’ll
have to know, Kevin, now you’ve told me so much!”

“It’s nothing, really,” he muttered. “You’ll say I’ve no right, but it means a small fortune for the New Thought Movement
...
”

“What does?” Jane questioned inexorably.

“If I get them the formula they want,” he muttered so quietly that Jane could scarcely hear, even though she strained to listen. It seemed once the two words had been spoken the flood-gates were opened in his mind. “One of the scientists up in the government laboratory has invented some new kind of weapon,” he said in a rush. “As you know, Dalasalavia isn’t allowed nuclear weapons as yet, and every country has to have some means of defence against hostile forces. This invention is a sort of
...
not germ, but something which can be infiltrated into food. It doesn’t kill or maim, as the atom bombs and that sort of thing do. It doesn’t set up illnesses as the germ warfare would do. It helps make people
...
happy, receptive, complacent.”

“Docile, as sheep are supposed to be?” Jane flashed. “So that they become mindless, docile
...
accepting
anything
?” she asked in horror. “You mean this is some sort of drug which saps the will-power ... a sort of glorified brain-wash
en masse
. Is that it?”

“No,” Kevin said, so quickly and so violently Jane was sure he had been waiting for precisely that question. “It’s nothing like that!” he assured her. “It’s in case any stronger, larger power is likely to prove hostile, to threaten
...
”

“But the nations of the world are working—or trying to work—on behalf of peace more than at any other time throughout history!” Jane protested. “And I still don’t get the point. What do you plan to do? Infiltrate all the foodstuffs and then impose the will of the New Thought Movement on the entire populace? I scarcely think that will improve the Movement’s popularity, once the effect of the drug’s worn off, or once another generation comes along which can think for itself
...
unless,” the thought struck her forcibly, “your friends think the next generation will be bo
rn
ready conditioned, as it were!”

“That’s not the idea at all!” Kevin said indignantly. “I told you I didn’t understand much about it, but the fact of the matter, briefly, is this. Some of the New Thought members work at the laboratory, and somehow or other news of this new drug has leaked out. The
...”
he named a larger power, thousands of miles from the tiny capital of Dalasalavia, “have offered a large sum of money for the formula. They don’t need the drug; it’s just that
...
well, there are tremendous possibilities, especially in persuading all nations to a peaceable outlook, once this drug was available. Professor Leczinska
—
he’s the one who discovered the drug and its effects
—
says he will destroy the formula once his experiments are completed. He says it would be morally wrong to take the will of the people
—any
people—in this way, and that he will not utilise his discovery. That, in my opinion, would be an even greater wrong! After all, one doesn’t make such a discovery and then keep it to oneself, or destroy it! One puts it to use.”

“I think he’s a wise and noble man!” Jane said heatedly. “I don’t know him, I’ve never heard of him until just now, but I think he ought to be honoured. But why did he work on something like that if he was determined to destroy the results of his work?” she concluded.

“He was working on something else when this worked out, a sort of by-line, I believe,” Kevin admitted. “They say he was horrified, as soon as the effects of his work had been proved,” he told her. “That’s stupid, and he doesn’t deserve to be the man to make such a wonderful discovery and then hide it, or worse, destroy it!”

“I still don’t see what all this has to do with either you or me.” Jane smothered a yawn. She was very tired, and all this talk seemed to be leading precisely nowhere. At the same time she was vaguely conscious that no one, least of all Dr. Jim, throughout all Seonyata, would approve of Kevin Dean’s being in her flat, alone, and at this hour of the night.

“If that’s all you’ve come about,” she rose, clearing the cups as a sign she wanted to get to bed, “I think you’d better go. I can’t see this has anything to do with anyone except Professor Leczinska and, if they’re so foolish, the New Thought members.”

“But it has,” Kevin protested eagerly. “That’s the point. I told you there would be a fabulous sum of money for whoever obtained the formula. I go to the laboratory often. I shall be going again one day next week. If you accompanied me you could keep the professor talking, and I’d find a way to get hold of his precious document. For one thing, I very much doubt of he could resist showing it to me.
H
e’s very proud of having made this discovery, even though he intends to destroy it. It’s to be shown to some of the government chiefs next week, and once they see it or get their hands on it it’ll be lost for ever to anyone else. The movement have promised me a fifth of the total sum they’ll get for it. They’ll have more than enough left for the things they wish to do for their country.”

“The best thing they could all do,” Jane said briefly, “is to put their backs into a bit more work and stop being so unhelpful and dissatisfied with all the older people are doing for them. They should be preparing themselves for when it’s their turn to take over the running of things, not putting spanners into works they don’t even understand!”

“Then you won’t help me, Jane?” Kevin asked disconsolately. “It would be easy. You’d not even be questioned, as my companion, and I’m known well enough by all the guards and so on. I’ve often been, on business for St. George’s.”

“Then you ought to be even more ashamed of yourself than they ought to be!” Jane told him. “You aren’t a Dalasalavian. You’re a visitor, and it’s your country which’ll be disgraced if anything goes wrong and you’re found out! Apart from that,” she repressed a shudder as she thought how distasteful the whole thing was becoming, “to even contemplate what more or less amounts to stealing someone else’s property is scarcely the way to endear our projects to the community at large!”

“We’re not paid enough,” Kevin grumbled. “It’s all very well here, where there’s nothing on which one can spend money, but I’d like a nest egg to take home with me, and the Movement say they’ll put my share in a Swiss bank for me, when they’re paid themselves. With that amount of money I could buy a practice when I go home. I could settle down
...
find the right wife,” he looked up suddenly, his eyes narrowing, “or take her home with me!” he suggested audaciously. “That might be an advantage if it came to a point! I don’t know much about law, but it runs in my mind that a wife may not give evidence for or against her husband
...
and you
are
rather lovely, Jane.”

She was suddenly very angry, so angry that the emotion replaced the weariness she had felt earlier. All her enjoyment in the evening had been spoiled, and for that, more than for anything else, she felt she could never forgive him.

“Get out of my room, Kevin,” she said in a cold fury. “I don’t know why you came here in the first instance! You must have been aware I wouldn’t be a party to anything like this! I suggest you go to your own quarters and think this over. For my part, I’m convinced it’s never worth while to sacrifice one’s
principles and one’s integrity for money! Especially when one isn’t in as great a need as millions of people all over the world!”

“Don’t start preaching, Jane!” Kevin said lightly. “It doesn’t suit you. You’re much too pretty, and too sweet. Think over what I’ve just told you and see if you don’t consider a nice little practice and a cosy house just big enough for two—with additions in due course, naturally
—
wouldn’t be worth taking some risks for. And at the same time, remember the risk is practically non-existent! If you don’t mind I’ll go this way,” he went on, and before she had sensed his intention he had pressed the light switch, leaving the room in darkness, then she heard him open the window which was situated on the opposite side of the room. There was a sudden cool breeze and the sight, in the darkened room, of her curtains flapping vaguely inwards, then Jane recovered herself and ran to the window to look out.

She saw Kevin slip do
wn the fire escape at the end of
the block and disappear rapidly in the direction of his own quarters. As she went back to switch the light on again she discovered to her horror that she was shaking from head to foot.

Jane sat on the edge of her bed and willed herself to pull herself together. This was more easily said than done, and as she sat there many thoughts chased themselves through her mind.

Ought she to go to Dr. Lowth and tell him what had happened? And if she did, what sort of terms would he believe she and Kevin to have been on to allow of that young man’s visit to her flat at this hour of the night, to say nothing of the unorthodox way in which he had left the room!

She thought about it all for a long time, even making herself fresh tea and smoking two of her unaccustomed cigarettes, one after the other, and yet she was no nearer a decision than she had been when Kevin had left. She
thought about talking to Kevin in the morning as they worked together, for there were operations scheduled for the morning and Kevin would, as always, administer the anaesthetic. Gould she make him see the harm he might possibly do to St. George’s, to the hospital as
a whole, to the entirety of Dr.
Jim’s work for the community at large? She very much doubted that! Kevin wasn’t interested. He had, perhaps, been fired by enthusiasm when he had first come to the country, but now he didn’t care what became of Dalasalavia as a whole, all he wanted was the end of his term there to be brought to a satisfactory conclusion, and to have what he termed “a nest egg” in the bank when he went home.

And what would Dr. Jim think of herself? To Jane, that point loomed of greater importance than any other. Their evening together, which had been so wonderful and which had held the promise of other and perhaps more wonderful evening to come, was ruined, spoiled completely, by Kevin’s mere suggestion that she might be willing to help him hurt these people she had grown to like so much, and smirched, she felt, by his insulting proposal, if that was what his last few sentences could be called!