Nova 05 Ruin Me (10 page)

Clara

“Okay, this place isn’t too bad.” I bounce down on the queen size bed in the motel room.

After seeing where Jax lived, I was expecting a lot worse, but the motel seems to be in the better side of town and could probably pass for at least three stars. Add that to the fact that I just got a text from Nelli saying she actually took my mother to a restaurant for lunch, and I’m feeling pretty okay right now.

Jax shoves the keycard into his wallet. “This is the best place in town.”

My expression plummets as I kneel up on the bed. “I hope you didn’t fork out a lot of money just so I’d feel safe. Please tell me you didn’t.”

“It wasn’t that much.” He empties the spare change from his pocket and dumps it onto the nightstand.

“Jax—” I start to object.

But he talks over me. “So, there’s this drive-in diner place like a mile away from here that has the best hamburgers ever. I was thinking we could stop there then head out to this motel my mother sometimes hangs out at. It’s on the other side of town.”

“Why does she hang out at a motel?” I ask as I put my hair up into a ponytail.

He avoids eye contact with me, staring out the window. “It’s where she goes to make money.”

I climb off the bed. “Doing what?”

His shoulders lift and fall as he exhales heavily. “Whoring herself out basically.” He looks so ashamed about the fact, even though I already knew his mother is a prostitute.

I want to hug the pain away, wrap my arms around him and tell him everything will be okay. I remember, after my father died, how much I wished someone would hug me and assure me everything would turn out all right. No one ever did, though, and it really wouldn’t have mattered in the long run, wouldn’t have changed anything.

I wrap my arms around myself and move up behind him. “Are you going to be okay with this?”

He has asked me the same question like a hundred times, when really he should be worrying about himself more. The agony in his eyes when he entered that home made me want to cry. And the condition of that house… I’d thought my apartment was bad, but that place... No one should have to live under those conditions. And Jax grew up in it.

“I’m fine,” He stares at the greying sky stretching across the town. “We should probably get going, though. We’re running out of daylight.”

“You make us sound like vampires,” I joke in an attempt to make him smile.

“Another fantasy of yours? You want me to bite you tonight?” His lips twitch in amusement.

I want to tell him no but I also don’t want to ruin the moment. “No way. I’m the boss,” I play along, “therefore, the biter.”

“That’s no fair. You always get to be the boss.” He fakes a pout, looking so adorable and sexy it’s ridiculous.

“No way. You were the boss the other night.
Remember
?”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because you’re the one who,” I motion downward at my thigh area, “you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” He taps his finger against his bottom lip. “Guess you’ll just have to say it aloud.”

I give him a playful shove and laugh.

A second or two ticks by, and then he cocks his brow. “I’m still waiting for you to fill me in on what you’re talking about. What did I do the other night that made me the boss?”

“Oh, my God, you’re such a smartass sometimes.” I collect my purse from the chair and head for the door. “Come on. I’m starving.”

“So am I,” he says, following after me.

Although I’m pretty sure a sexual innuendo is hidden in his comment, I choose to ignore it.

“So, a drive-in diner, huh?” I sling the handle of my bag over my shoulder as we step out of the room. “Does that mean the waitresses are wearing roller skates and short little shorts.”

“Why? Would that turn you on if they did?”

“Jax,” I hiss as the breezy Wyoming air bites at my skin. The sun is descending behind the mountains enclosing the town, and the later it gets, the lower the temperature seems to drop. “Seriously, can we lay off with the dirty talk for like maybe an hour?”

“I could try, but it kind of relaxes me.” He yanks on the door, making sure it’s shut all the way, and then we cross the parking lot toward his Jeep. When I shoot him a doubtful look, he says, “What? It helps distract me, at least it does with you.”

“Aw crap. You can’t give me an answer like that.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Why not?”

“Because now I have to let you.”

His eyes glimmer mischievously. “Did I just get a free pass to say whatever I want?”

“Maybe.” My frown deepens at my response.

He rubs his hands together. “Wow, where to start? There’s so many things running through my head right now…” His gaze darts to a woman strutting toward us. She’s wearing a leopard print dress that leaves hardly anything to the imagination, neon pink stilettoes, and her brown hair has a matching streak down the front strand.

“Fuuuck,” Jax curses under his breath, jerking his hand roughly through his hair as he kicks a rock across the parking lot.

“Is that your mom?” I ask, even though the woman looks too young to be his mother.

Jax grudgingly shakes his head. “No… it’s one of my ex-girlfriends. Please, for the love of God, don’t judge me on what’s about to happen.”

Before I can even process what he just said, Miss Leopard Print reaches us.

“Well, well, well, look what the dog dragged in.” She flashes her yellow teeth as she grins. “Jax Hensley, what the hell have you been up to? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Jax tensely rubs the back of his neck. “That’s because I moved to North Carolina a couple of years ago.”

“Really?” Her bloodshot eyes widen in astonishment. “How come I didn’t know about this?”

Jax shrugs, his arm falling to his side. “I didn’t really tell anyone when I left.”

“Well, that’s cool, I guess. We all need to get away sometimes.” Her eyes flick to me then back to Jax. “Are you moving back?

“Fuck no,” he answers sharply. When the woman flinches, he offers her an apology. “Sorry, Bev, I didn’t mean to sound like such an ass. It’s just that… Have you by chance seen my mom?”

She squints one eye as she thinks. “You know what? I think the last time I saw her she was down at the Dirty Tiger. That was about a week or two ago.”

“The Dirty Tiger?” I don’t mean to say it aloud, but the name is just too ridiculous.

Bev stares at me with her face screwed in puzzlement.

“Oh, Bev this is Clara, my,” he glances at me, “my friend I guess.”

“Your friend you guess,” Bev states with skepticism, focusing back on Jax. “Since when do you have female friends?” Her tongue slips out of her mouth and wets her chapped lips. “Because the Jax I remember didn’t use girls for friends. He just fucked them.”

I fight back a gag. But seriously, the idea of Jax being with this woman who has track marks on her arms and teeth rotting out of her head makes me want to hurl. He said not to judge him, so I’m trying to keep an open mind, but it’s hard.

“Sorry,” she offers me an apology.

“It’s cool,” I reply, even though I’m lost as to what she’s apologizing for.

“So, the Dirty Tiger,” Jax interrupts with disdain in his tone. “That’s where she’s hanging out now?”

Bev nods, still gawking at me. “Yeah, but like I said, that was a week or two ago.”

“Dammit, I really fucking hate that place,” Jax says heavy heartedly.

“It’s not that bad.” Bev finally rips her gaze off me.

“You used to not think that.” Jax elevates his brows at Bev’s outfit.

She lifts her chin. “Hey, I do what I gotta do to survive. Don’t judge me just because you got out of this shithole.”

“I’m not judging you,” he tells her. “I just think you’re better than this.”

“Well, I’m not.” She shoves her hand at him. “Do you have any extra cash you can spare? I’m running low.”

“I’m not giving money to you so you can buy drugs.” Jax’s gaze fleetingly drops to the circular bluish and purple splotches on Bev’s forearm.

“Whatever.” She crosses her arms and spins on her heels. “Thanks for wasting my time.” She stomps toward the front area of the motel with her heels crunching against the gravel.

“Well, she’s a real gem,” I mutter after she’s out of hearing range.

“She wasn’t like that when I was dating her,” Jax explains as we head toward his vehicle again. “But I’m not surprised she ended up where she has.”

I feel a little better knowing Bev wasn’t that way when Jax dated her, but the last thing he said is unsettling. “Why aren’t you surprised she turned into a junkie?”

“Because that’s just the way things work in The Subs.” Jax stuffs his hand into his pocket to retrieve the car keys. “The people born there generally get sucked into the environment.”

“The Subs?” I ask as he unlocks the passenger door.

“It’s the nickname people around here gave to the area south of the highway.” He motions to the left of us. “Basically, it’s the shitty area of town where more than half the residents do drugs or sell drugs or sell themselves for drugs.”

“And it’s where you grew up? And Bev?” I move around him to get into the car, but stop before I hop in. “You say the people that live there generally get stuck in the environment, but you and Avery didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, we’re kind of unique cases. Avery escaped this life, but not without a lot of bumps in the road first and me… And me, well, I was sick of having complications in my life, so I fucking ran and never looked back. I just wanted to live for once, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” I say hoarsely, thinking about how I used to have the same attitude. ‘Live life in the moment’ was my motto. I had plans to travel after I graduated. Plans to do something amazing with my life. So many plans and none of them happened.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, noting the croak in my voice.

“Nothing.” I clear my throat. “And you’re not just a unique case. You’re a special case, Jax. You’ve completely turned your life around.”

He places a hand on the car just to the side of my head and angles his body toward me until only a few inches are between us. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d guess you just gave me a compliment.”

“It’s a good thing you know better,” I retort, but my voice is unsteady as his body heat seeps into my skin.

“I guess so.” He eyes me over for an unbearable amount of time before he pushes back. “It looks like we’re hitting up the Dirty Tiger after the diner.”

I pull a repulsed face as I slide my butt into the seat. “The name sounds so gross, like an advertisement for STD’s. Come on in to the Dirty Tiger, where you walk in with a smile on your face and leave with herpes between your legs.”

Laughter bursts from his lips. “You know, as funny as that is, it’s actually pretty close to the truth.”

“So disgusting.” I stick out my tongue and gag.

“Relax. Just don’t use the toilets or let any dicks into your pussy, and you’ll be fine.”

My lips part in shock, and I reach out to swat him. “You’re so vile.”

He skitters out of my reach, laughing his ass off. “You’re the one who brought up herpes.”

Okay, he has me there. “Fine, I’ll hold my bladder and try my best to stay away from all penises.”

“Good idea. Although, I’m not sure if the penises will be able to stay away from you.” When I glare at him, he adds, “I’m kidding… but not really.” His finger traces below my eye, causing my eyelashes to flutter. “You’re too beautiful and are going to stand out like a sore thumb in a place like the Dirty Tiger.” His mouth tugs to a lopsided grin, and then he heads around the car to get inside.