Nothing Left to Lose (55 page)

He laughed, and
the mattress dipped next to me. “Here, I brought these in for you,
I thought you’d be a little delicate this morning,” he whispered,
sounding amused. I lifted the pillow off my head to see him sitting
up, fully dressed, holding out a glass of water and two pills.

“Thanks,” I
mumbled gratefully, pushing myself up and swallowing them quickly.
Looking down at myself, I saw that I was still wearing my shirt
that I had on last night. My jeans were in a pile on the floor
though. I didn’t even remember coming to bed, but clearly I’d been
too intoxicated for pyjamas.

Ashton smiled
widely. “Come on then, get up and get dressed, I’m taking you out
for breakfast to make you feel better.”

I looked him
over while he spoke. He looked super sexy today. He had on a pair
of light blue ripped jeans and a white T-shirt with a black hoodie
over the top. I swallowed my wave of desire quickly. It had been
almost a week since we’d been back from LA, and keeping things on a
purely friends’ level had been a struggle. Now that I knew how good
being with him could be, I couldn’t help but wish for it to happen
again and again, but we were managing to move past it and behave in
a respectable manner.

“You look nice
today,” I muttered, lying back down and throwing my arm over my
eyes to keep out the light.

He laughed and
lay down next to me. “Are you still drunk? I thought you would have
cut out the flirting now that you aren’t stumbling all over the
place,” he teased, moving my arm and smirking at me.

I shook my
head. “Was I drunken flirting with you again?” I asked, smiling
apologetically.

“Oh yeah, Baby
Girl. After I carried you to bed, you begged me to fuck your brains
out, you cursed angrily because my belt buckle wouldn’t unfasten
and, therefore, must have been made by ugly goblins that didn’t
agree with sex, and then in the end you made me go to sleep right
on top of you when I turned you down,” he said, chuckling.

I smiled
sheepishly, feeling a blush creep up my face and neck. “Sorry. I
guess I forget myself when I’m drunk.”

He grinned and
nodded in agreement. “Don’t worry though, I was a perfect
gentleman. I didn’t even let you blow me like you were
begging.”

I squealed and
threw my hands over my face. “Oh God, stop. There’s a reason that
people don’t remember these things in the morning, you’re not
supposed to remind me! The alcohol induced memory loss is a form of
protection from all the stupid things you did the night
before.”

He chuckled
wickedly. “Alright, fine. I won’t say another word.” He sat up.
“Can we go eat? I’m starving.”

I sat up and
winced as the movement made my head a little fuzzy. “You’re always
starving,” I teased. He grinned and leant in, planting a soft kiss
on my forehead before standing up and leaving the room.

Forgoing the
shower because I didn’t have the energy, I dressed and then put on
a large pair of shades to keep the brightness of the day out of my
eyes.

“Hey, you
ready?” he chirped as I walked out of the bedroom. I nodded,
picking up my purse. “I’m in the mood for bacon, what about you?”
he asked, taking my hand and interlacing our fingers.

I shrugged.
“Anything, as long as it’s greasy and bad for me.”

In the local
café that was a five minute drive away from our apartment, I
ordered a huge plate of bacon and eggs, and surprisingly, it did
make me feel better. Or maybe that was the two espressos that I had
to accompany it.

“So, about our
date tonight, I know where I want to go. Make sure you dress casual
and warm, and no heels,” Ashton instructed, grinning as we waited
for the waitress to bring his change. I frowned. Our date night was
usually on a Friday, but because I’d had my girls’ night, we’d
shifted our date to tonight instead.

I cocked my
head to the side. “Where are we going?”

He shook his
head, smiling teasingly. “Surprise.”

“Oh come on,
tell me, please?” I whined. I hated surprises, and he knew it.

“Nope,” he
answered, popping the p. The bell above the door rang, signalling
someone either coming in or leaving the café. His eyes flicked to
the door and his body stiffened. I glanced over my shoulder in time
to see a group of five guys walking in. They were all loud and
boisterous, like they were still drunk or high from the night
before. “You ready to go?” he asked, still discreetly watching the
group of guys as they started harassing a couple of women a couple
of tables away. I nodded, standing up. Ashton’s hand wrapped around
mine as he pulled me close to his back on the opposite side to the
men than were laughing and jeering, pushing each other
playfully.

When we were
about four feet from the door, one of them stepped in front of us
and smiled. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, excuse
us.” Ashton smiled politely, tightening his grip on my hand.

“Well, maybe
your lady would rather stay here,” the guy suggested, smiling at
me.

I snorted in
disbelief. “No thanks.”

Ashton shifted
on the balls of his feet. “Seriously, bud, excuse us before you get
yourself hurt,” he growled. The guy laughed but stepped out of the
way, waving us through. As soon as we walked past him, he grabbed
my hand, yanking me backwards. My instincts took over and I turned,
throwing my knee up into his groin. He groaned in pain and Ashton
shoved me towards the door as one of the other guys stepped
forward.

“Son of a
bitch!” he ranted.

“Leave with
Dean!” Ashton growled, pushing me towards the door again.

“What? No!” I
cried, horrified. There was no way I was leaving him here with five
guys.

“NOW, ANNA!” he
ordered.

I flinched at
the authority in his voice and quickly turned for the door. As soon
as I was outside, I ran to Dean, who was about a hundred years
away, leaning casually against the wall. “There’s a fight. Go help
him!” I shouted, pointing frantically at the café. I felt sick with
worry. He was going to get hurt, I just knew it. My heart was
pounding out of my chest.

Dean’s eyes
widened as he looked back at the café but didn’t move. Suddenly he
shook his head. “No. I need to take you away.” His hand clamped
around my elbow, starting to drag me forward.

What the
hell? He’s going to leave Ashton on his own?
“Dean, what the
hell are you doing? Ashton’s in there with five guys!” I screamed,
trying desperately to shake off his hold.

“Then I feel
sorry for the five guys. My orders from him are to take you away if
there’s trouble,” he replied simply.

I didn’t want
to hurt him, but if he carried on dragging me away then I was going
to break his face. “For God’s sake! You can’t just leave him in
there. Get the hell off me! Dean, will you stop? Ashton’s in there
on his own, please go and help him!” I shouted, struggling to a
stop.

Another pair of
hands gripped my hips, and I squealed from the shock. “Chill out,
Baby Girl, I’m here,” Ashton said in my ear.

My breath
caught as my heart stuttered. I turned to face him and threw my
arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “What happened? Are you
okay?” I asked, gripping onto him for dear life, probably choking
the life out of him.

Instead of
answering, his arms circled my waist and he lifted me off my feet.
“Dean, let’s get her to your car,” he ordered. He moved one hand to
my ass and forced my legs around his waist with the other as he
started to jog in the direction of the car.

“I can walk,
Ashton,” I protested, unwrapping one of my legs, but he just hooked
it back there again and continued to jog towards the parking lot
where we’d left the cars.

“I know you
can, just humour me, okay?” he countered, gripping me tightly. My
breathing started to slow, and my stomach unclenched now that he
was here with me. When we got to Dean’s car, Ashton set me in the
passenger seat and slammed the door, talking to Dean outside. I
took the opportunity to look at every inch of his exposed skin,
trying to see a red mark or blemish that indicated that he’d been
injured, but there was nothing.

Suddenly, he
slapped Dean on the shoulder and turned on his heel, running off
towards the café again. I gasped and tried to open my door so I
could follow him, but Dean pushed me back into the car and locked
the door before running around to the driver’s side.

“What’s going
on? Where’s he going? Is he okay?” I shouted as he started the car,
pulling out without even buckling his seatbelt.

“He’s fine.
Someone called the police, he needs to go and handle that. It’s
best that you’re not there so he doesn’t have to explain the whole
undercover thing,” he explained.

I gasped,
looking back over my shoulder, hating that we were driving away and
leaving him. “Someone called the police? Well, what happened?” I
cried, wiping my face, I didn’t even realise I was crying until I
did that.

Dean shrugged.
“He took care of it.

Took care of
it? What the heck does that mean? There were five guys in there for
goodness’ sake!
“What? How?”

Dean grinned
and shook his head as if I’d said something silly. “Annabelle, he’s
an excellent Agent. You shouldn’t worry about him.”

I scowled at
him. “I’d worry about you too, you know. I just don’t think you
should have left him like that! He wouldn’t do that if that was
you. He wouldn’t have left you!” I ranted angrily.

He laughed
loudly. “Annabelle, Ashton would kill me himself if it meant he
could stop you from getting hurt. I have no doubt in my mind about
that,” he replied, still laughing.

I sighed
angrily and looked out the window, not wanting to talk to him
anymore. I hated the thought of Ashton just being left like that on
his own. Anything could have happened to him, he could have been
seriously hurt and that thought made my whole chest tighten with
worry.

When we arrived
at our apartment, Dean walked me in, doing a quick survey of the
rooms to check they were empty before he left to wait outside the
door. I sat down on the sofa and put my head in my hands. The
silence was deafening as I sat there watching the clock tick around
slowly. My nerves were making me feel sick. I couldn’t seem to stop
myself from crying silently as I imagined all of the horrible
things that could have happened to Ashton today. I could barely
breathe. Unconsciously, my hand went to the inside of my elbow,
pinching and picking at the skin there as I tried to regain control
of my emotions.

Well over an
hour later, the front door opened. I jumped up with my heart
crashing in my chest. My trembling legs barely supported me as I
rushed around the corner and looked up the hallway. When I saw his
black head of hair, I dashed to him, jumping on him. I obviously
caught him off guard because he staggered back under my weight and
we both crashed into the door with a loud bang. My lips slammed
against his as I kissed him fiercely. He seemed shocked but kissed
me back after a second or two, wrapping his arms around me as we
slumped to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs.

“All I needed
to do was get in a fight to have you throw yourself at me like
this? I wish I’d known that two months ago,” he joked. My tears
were flowing uncontrollably again as I kissed every square inch of
his face before burying my face in his neck and sobbing in relief
that he was unharmed and safe. Thoughts of losing him, of him
leaving me just like Jack did made my heart ache so much that it
was almost unbearable. I dug my fingers into his shoulders as I
pressed myself to him tightly, completely lost in my overwhelming
emotions. “Hey, come on, Baby Girl. Shh, everything’s okay,” he
said as he stroked my hair soothingly.

Suddenly anger
boiled inside me as I realised that he’d made me feel like this. By
not letting me stay and help him, he’d put me through this. It
hadn’t needed to be like this, I hadn’t needed to feel this pain
again.

I pulled back
and smacked his chest as hard as I could which resulted in making
my hand sting. “Don’t ever do that to me again!” I shouted angrily.
His mouth dropped open in shock as he looked at me like I’d lost my
mind. “You stupid damn boy! Don’t you realise how worried I was
about you? You couldn’t even wait long enough to tell me you were
okay before running off?” I shouted, pushing myself off him as he
opened and closed his mouth again, looking a little lost for
words.

“Anna, calm
down,” he finally said, clambering to his feet. I scowled angrily.
I was so mad that I didn’t even want to look at him. I turned and
stormed off to the bedroom, but he followed me in there. “That’s my
job,” he said sternly.

“That’s your
job?” I repeated incredulously. “Your job is to leave me fucking
worried sick about you? You couldn’t have stayed there for one
minute to show me you were okay? You couldn’t have just left the
car door open while you talked to Dean so I could hear what was
going on?” I almost screamed. I was so angry that I wanted to smash
something.

“Anna, calm
down! My job is to get you as far away from trouble as possible,”
he countered, reaching for my hand.

I jerked it
away from him before he could touch me, glaring at him. “There was
no damn trouble! You carried me to the car like a fucking child!” I
spat, wiping my traitor tears away angrily.

He threw his
hands up in exasperation. “What the hell do you want me to say? Do
you want me to apologise for doing my job?” he asked
desperately.

I growled in
frustration. “Oh, just go away, Ashton! Thank you for doing your
job. Thank you for making sure I was safely away from trouble.
Thank you for making me worry so damn hard about you that I felt
sick. Thank you for thinking so little of me that it didn’t even
occur to you that I would be worried about you. Just thank you,
Agent Taylor!” I shouted almost hysterically. My breathing was
shallow. A full blown panic attack was building up inside me as the
feelings of being powerless, abandoned, and helpless resurfaced and
started trying to drag me under. My hand flew to my elbow that was
already red raw from what I’d inflicted on myself earlier. Using my
nails, I pinched the skin there as hard as I could, feeling them
cutting into my flesh, but not caring in the slightest.