Notes from a Spinning Planet—Ireland (13 page)

“I do too, Ryan. But maybe its more for you than Sid.”

“I guess.”

“I mean, you can’t really blame her. Ian must’ve meant more than anyone knows to her. Think about it: she never married…and did you see her face tonight? I’ve never seen her like that. I don’t think she ever got over him.”

“But it’s been thirty years.”

“I know, and I don’t get it. But I think it’s true. Why else would she react like she did?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Now that I think about it, she has been acting kind of strange during this trip.”

“Like she’s been haunted by the past,” I suggest.

“I actually wondered if it was Ian’s ghost.”

“But now we know he’s alive.”

“I know it’s going to be hard on her…” He looks up at me with determination. “But somehow I’ve got to meet him, Maddie.”

“I know.”

“Even if I have to do it without her knowing.”

“I’ll help you, Ryan. Somehow we’ll get you and Ian together.”

When I replay these words later on, back in my hotel room, I realize that they sound very much like a promise. And I wonder how I could possibly have made a commitment like that. How can I force a meeting that my aunt is so diametrically opposed to? After all, this is really her trip. She’s the one who invited us, and she’s paying for everything. And she’s the only one who can drive the rental car. How fair is it for me to insist on seeing someone she may actually wish were dead? Okay, that’s a bit harsh, but I know she wishes that he hadn’t popped back into her life like this. And I know she’ll do everything to avoid seeing him.

But just the same, I’ll do everything I can to see that Ryan gets to meet Ian. How can I not? Ryan is right. I think this truly is a God thing. And when I go to bed later that night, I really pray.

First I pray for Ryan. I ask God to restore this old broken connection that links him to his father. I ask God to use Ian to give Ryan some answers to his questions and find some resolution for the loss of his dad. And I pray for Sid too. That’s a little harder. But I ask God to use this dilemma with Ian to bring about some healing in her heart. Some kind of closure. Somehow I think that’s what she needs.

As for me, well, I just pray God will help me to continue to grow up—and not be such an eejit!

I
wake up early again. I’m not sure what’s up with this but decide that maybe I’ve turned into a morning person—or maybe it’s just being in Ireland. I get up and get dressed, but instead of going downstairs, I go ahead and get my stuff packed. I haven’t forgotten my aunt’s announcement last night that we’re leaving Malin today. Okay, I’m not thrilled with her decision, but who am I to argue? Just as I’m zipping my last bag, I hear a light tapping on my door.

“Maddie?” calls my aunt.

I open the door to see Sid standing in the hallway. Not looking her best, she’s wearing a baggy green cardigan over her Scottie-dog flannel pajamas, and her eyes are red and puffy.

“You okay?” I ask.

She shrugs.

“Wanna come in?” I open the door wider and wave her inside. I’m not sure I want anyone in the hotel seeing her like this.

She looks around my tidy room. “You’re packed?”

I nod. “Figured I might as well.”

“Oh.” She looks slightly confused.

“You said we were leaving, Sid.”

“That’s right.” She sits down on my bed, shoulders hunched in
a dejected heap of flannel and wool. I sit in the side chair across from her, cross my legs, lean back, and wait.

She sits up straighter, using both hands to push her hair away from her face. But the mussed-up strands fall back in a heap. Then she lets out a deep sigh that seems laced with pain.

“I know this Ian thing is hard on you,” I begin carefully. “And I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to be in your shoes. In fact, I’m sure I’d be totally freaking.”

“You got that right.”

“But I also think it’s really important for Ryan to meet him. I mean, think about it. Ian is like the last connection to Ryan’s dad. Can you imagine what that might mean to Ryan? He’s never even known his dad. And you know that Danielle hardly ever spoke of him, not until just before she died, and that wasn’t much. Besides, you said yourself that you brought Ryan over here to trace his family’s—”

“Ian is
not part
of Ryan’s family.”

“But he is a connection to Ryan’s dad. A very strong connection. That might be more important than being related.”

She closes her eyes and leans her head back.

“How about if we stay in Malin just one more day?” I plead with her. “Just like you originally planned. And maybe you can do another interview or some research or something…” I’m creating this plan as I speak. “And maybe Ryan and I could meet with Ian right here in town. Like at Callaghan’s. And you could be off somewhere else far away. We could make your excuses for you—say
you’re really busy gathering material for your articles and you’ve got lots to do and stuff.”

She opens her eyes now, and pressing her fingers on either side of her temples, she actually seems to be considering my half-hatched plan. “I guess that would be okay, Maddie.”

“Really?” I stand up in excitement.

“Yeah.” She stands up too. “What can it hurt?”

I throw my arms around her. “Thanks, Sid. That’s really great of you.”

“As long as you promise to leave me totally out of it.”

I hold up three fingers in the old Girl Scout pledge. “I promise.”

“And I do have another interview I can do today. Molly told me about a friend of hers who was at the peace camp a year or two after Danielle and I were there. She lives in Buncrana, which isn’t too far from here. I’ll give her a call and see if I can stop in. And if not, I’ll just do a little sightseeing along the coastline. I’ve always heard Malin Head is a must-see.”

“It definitely is,” I assure her. “To be honest, I was kind of distracted yesterday, but everything I saw was amazing.”

“Yeah, I imagine I’ll be kind of distracted too.”

I hug her again. “I’m so sorry about this, Sid. I wish this wasn’t so hard on you.”

“Me too.”

Then she goes back to her room, and I go quietly knock on Ryan’s door. When he doesn’t answer, my first reaction is to worry. I mean, he did seem pretty bummed last night. Then I realize he
probably just got up early and went out to get some breakfast. So I head over to town and end up in the same bakery as yesterday. And there he is, standing at the counter, ordering his breakfast.

“Great minds again,” I say as I step up behind him.

“Check out today’s breakfast special.” He points to the blackboard. “An Irish Fry.”

“Sounds good to me.”

We take our coffees over to a table, and I tell him the good news.

“Seriously?”

I nod. “Yep. She’s giving us today to meet Ian.”

“That is so cool. And there’s a pay phone right outside. Should I go call him now?”

I slap my forehead. “I gave his number to Sid.” “Do you think she’s left?”

“I hate to bug her,” I say. “Especially for Ian’s number. Kind of like rubbing salt in the wound. I’ll just get it from Quin again.”

So we finish our breakfast and head for the bike shop, which fortunately opens early. The little bell on the door dings merrily as we go inside.

“Booking another tour, are you?” Darby greets us with a bright smile.

“No thanks,” I say. “I just need to get Ian’s number again.”

“So you’re going to give him a ring after all?” She looks hopeful.

“Ryan’s going to call him,” I explain as she writes down the number. “My aunt, well, she needs to think about it. And she has some interview stuff to do today. You know, she’s really here in Ireland
on assignment.” Okay, that’s the best I can do without actually lying. Although I’m sure Darby has her own suspicions.

“Why don’t you just ring him from here?” suggests Darby. “Quin won’t mind. And if you need privacy, you can use the telephone in the back room.”

Ryan thanks her, then follows her back while I amuse myself by checking out their rack of Ireland tourism pamphlets.

“Quin’s delivering some bicycles over to the resort at Malin Head,” Darby tells me when she returns. “But he should be back soon.”

“Are you guys doing another tour today?” I ask.

“Not on Sundays.”

“That’s right. I’ve sort of lost track of the days since we got here.”

“How long have you been in Ireland?”

I do the mental math. “This is our sixth day,” I tell her. “Wow, that means we only have a week left.”

“Make the most of it.”

I hold up a pamphlet that’s promoting castle tours in Donegal. “Is this any good?”

She crinkles up her nose. “Rather pricey for what they offer. You can just as easily do that yourself and take as much time as you like. Plus you can skip some of the less interesting castles.” She points to a name. “Like that one. I don’t know why anyone would pay to see it.”

I make a mental note.

“So where will you be heading from here?” she asks.

“Northern Ireland. Belfast, I think.”

She frowns. “Why do you want to go there?”

“For my aunt’s research.”

“Oh. I’m not trying to say it’s not an interesting place. But my family comes from there, and we were all quite relieved to get away. Now you couldn’t pay me to go back and visit.”

“Hello,” calls Quin as he comes into the shop, wheeling a bike with a flat tire. “Nice to see you again, Maddie.”

“Ryan’s using the telephone in the back room,” Darby warns him. “Ringing your uncle.”

Quin’s eyes light up. “Good to hear.”

“Yes, my aunt’s got some business to take care of,” I say quickly, “but Ryan and I thought maybe Ian would want to drive over here—to meet Ryan, you know, since his father was a good friend of Ian’s.”

“I’m sure he’ll be glad to.”

“It’s set,” says Ryan as he emerges from the back room. “Ian will be here around noon. We’ll meet him at Callaghan’s.”

“Good choice,” says Darby. Then she looks at her watch. “We’d better be off if we’re going to make it to Mass.” She glances at us. “Care to join us?”

I look at Ryan, and he shrugs. “Why not?”

“Okay,” I say. Then I look down at my khaki Capri pants. “But do I need to change?”

Darby steps out from behind the counter to show that she’s wearing jeans. “Our church is rather modern about clothes. And you don’t need to have your head covered either.”

“Oh.” So we wait for Quin to close up shop and adjust the clock on the We’ll Be Back door sign. Then we follow them across the village green and down a few blocks until we get to an old stone building. The sign out front says Saint Patrick’s Reformed Charismatic Catholic Church.

“Long name,” I observe.

Quin laughs. “Yeah, it’s been changed a few times over the years, but I think they’ve finally settled on this. We just call it Saint Paddy’s.”

I’ve never been to a Catholic church before, but I have been to my grandma’s Episcopal church, and I’m guessing they may be similar—although you’re not allowed to wear pants to my grandma’s church. But I’m preparing myself for group readings and the whole sit-down, stand-up routine that usually catches me off guard. My theory is that it’s to keep people from falling asleep in the pews.

But I’m surprised that the music in here is fairly lively. The people sing like they mean it. And the priest gives what I think is a good sermon. Other than communion, which Ryan tells me we probably shouldn’t do since we’re not actual members of their church, I’m thinking it’s not so very different from my church back home.

“That was pretty cool,” I tell Quin and Darby as we leave the building.

“Thanks,” says Quin. “We like it.”

“I thought Catholic churches were supposed to be a lot different from Protestant ones,” I say as we meander across the village green.

“Some of them are,” says Darby. “I grew up going to a traditional Roman Catholic church in Belfast, and it wasn’t anything like Saint Paddy’s.”

“I went to a Catholic church with my paternal grandparents a few times when I was growing up,” Ryan tells us. “But I never understood half of what was going on.”

“It makes me wonder what the big deal is,” I say as we stop on the edge of the green. “I mean, why do Christians have so many denominations? And why can’t Catholics and Protestants get along?”

“Wouldn’t we like to know,” says Darby.

“Anyone who comes up with the answer to those questions can probably rule the world,” says Quin.

“Well, it must make God sad to see his children fighting over religion,” I say. “Too bad we can’t all just love one another.”

“I’m with you on that, Maddie.” Darby pats me on the back and then starts singing the old Beatles song. “All we are saying…is give peace a chance.”

We join her, but other than that one line, none of us can remember the lyrics. I guess that’s apropos in an ironic sort of way.

“Well, I better get back to the old grindstone,” says Quin.

“It was lovely having you at church with us,” adds Darby. “You will let us know how you get on with Quin’s uncle, won’t you, Ryan?”

“Sure,” he promises. “Thanks for helping us to connect with him.”

“Tell him hello for me,” calls Quin. “And if he has time, perhaps he can drop into the shop later.”

“Will do,” says Ryan.

“They are so nice,” I say as we watch them walk away.

Ryan nods. “They feel almost like family.”

“I know what you mean.”

He glances at his watch. “We still have about an hour before Ian gets here. Anything you’d like to do?”

I consider this. “Well, there was a music store I wanted to check out. But they were closed yesterday. You think there’s any chance they’d be open on a Sunday?”

“This is a tourist town,” he says. “Let’s go see.”

So I guide us to the shop, but it looks dark inside. I decide to give the door a try anyway, and to my pleasant surprise it’s unlocked. “It is open,” I say as we walk in and look around the dimly lit store.

“Aye, we are,” says a man’s voice from a dark corner in the back.

“Oh!” I jump and grab Ryan’s arm.

“I just unlocked the place,” the man says as he switches on the lights. “Is that better?”